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RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 10:19:47 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum
geez, why does everybody have a problem with hon, dear, or love? i never mean it in a bad way lol

I believe your confusion about this is also the source of your drama-magnetism.  Like Rochsub, I will speak directly, but I don't intend this as an attack, but as something that is hopefully helpful.

People don't like it when you call them "love" because it is excessively familiar.  It sounds either saccharine or condescending.  Why?  Because you don't know them from Adam, and yet you are referring to them with "pet" names.  A "pet" is something that is lesser than its owner -- or, at the very least, is wuv wuv wuvved by its owner.  So your use of the word "love" or "hun" with people whom you don't know is guaranteed to make them bristle, or wonder what your problem is.

MsAlise and I have emailed a bit, and have enjoyed it.  So, in a private email, I could probably call her "hun" -- and she would probably threaten to beat me for it -- and we would both smile.  But even though I know her a bit, if I called her "hun" or "love" on a public message board, I doubt she'd appreciate it, because I'd be laying claim to a piece of her, somehow.  Pissing on her leg to mark my territory.  And that would be excessively familiar, because we are just email buddies.

I think a big part of what is happening is that you are thinking "person X is at friend level" -- or not even that far along -- but what you project, and what other people hear, is that you are superduper into them.  Breeding ground for misunderstandings and drama.


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Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
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(in reply to MissAsylum)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 10:25:38 AM   
MissAsylum


Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline 		hm....noted again.

like i said, i never mean it in a bad way. its not the whole friend level- which is a bit creepy, i'll admit. i'm generally very loving towards everyone, except for thoe who truely dont deserve it.

but i'll kep this in mind. thanks.


(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 10:26:54 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*adores Red*

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Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 10:36:52 AM   
sirsholly


Posts: 42360
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From: Quietville
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quote:

geez, why does everybody have a problem with hon, dear, or love? i never mean it in a bad way lol
i am guilty of it myself, though more in person as opposed to on the boards.

I never use Dear but am big on Sweetie (because it sounds so much better than calling someone Whatsyername)


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RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 10:44:11 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Thanks hun.

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RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 10:49:04 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Thanks hun.

Aw, you are so adorable and flooofyful, muah muah muah.






Attachment (1)

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Jeffff)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 10:50:11 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		*snort*

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Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

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Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 10:50:51 AM   
DomImus


Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
I have been to I don't know how many munches over the years in a number of different states.  Not once have I ever heard of anything so ridiculous.
It just amazes Me that in the course of a month or so you've now had three incidents meeting folks involved in BDSM that have never happened to Me in over ten years. 


No kidding. I'm not a munch veteran by any stretch but I've been to a several at 1763 in Atlanta and maybe a dozen more at other places in the last fifteen years it has been extremely rare that anyone who I did not already know ever approached me or said a word to me at any of those events.

I suppose anything is possible but any newbies reading this thread... do not take the OP's experience as a sign of what munches are like. If what she says happened really did happen (and I have strong doubts as I am sure most of the other munch goers here do) it is not representative of these events. It is an extremely rare anomaly - the kind you would statistically toss out in high/low fashion.


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(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 10:52:22 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		hear, hear!!

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Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 11:12:11 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum

y they wouldn't exactly let him go without a fight. one girl actually tried to engage me in a game of tug o' war with my boyfriend.


Does anybody have any tips or suggestions on how newbies should conduct themselves at a munch so we could avoid mishapps if at all possible?


That shit happens to me on a almost daily basis....

BadOne

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Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 11:13:13 AM   
MissAsylum


Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline 		i already told somebody not to let my expirence detter them from going to a munch.

i'm not going to try, have the energy, to even care try to convince anybody to believe me( if ya don't- oh well. no skin off my nose), i doubt if anybody would have the same exact expirence as my friend and boyfriend did- i however, had a lovely time at the event last night and met very nice people.

(in reply to DomImus)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 11:15:34 AM   
MissAsylum


Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline 		you're a hottie- no wonder. lol

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Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 11:15:44 AM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline 		The only time I ever had problems at a munch was when guy bored me to tears. I mean I dunno maybe munches are different in the US but here we sit down and have a pint and a chat.

I dunno MissAsylum seems that you don't half attract the nutjobs

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Nah I am not happy to see you either

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Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 11:20:46 AM   
MissAsylum


Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LillyoftheVally

I dunno MissAsylum seems that you don't half attract the nutjobs


there's a possibilty. it happens in my day to day, why should my BDSM life be any different?

(in reply to LillyoftheVally)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 11:21:56 AM   
SailingBum


Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum

you're a hottie- no wonder. lol


I gotta lil something something for you later...

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to MissAsylum)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 11:27:11 AM   
MissAsylum


Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline 		this is so cute-but i'm semi disturbed at the same time.

no clue why.
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Thanks hun.

Aw, you are so adorable and flooofyful, muah muah muah.



[Mod edit: image removed from quote]


< Message edited by VideoAdminZeta -- 6/1/2010 3:15:44 PM >

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 11:50:10 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DomImus

No kidding. I'm not a munch veteran by any stretch but I've been to a several at 1763 in Atlanta and maybe a dozen more at other places in the last fifteen years it has been extremely rare that anyone who I did not already know ever approached me or said a word to me at any of those events.

I suppose anything is possible but any newbies reading this thread... do not take the OP's experience as a sign of what munches are like. If what she says happened really did happen (and I have strong doubts as I am sure most of the other munch goers here do) it is not representative of these events. It is an extremely rare anomaly - the kind you would statistically toss out in high/low fashion.


I have often thought to Myself what a shame it was that we never ran into each other on such an occasion.  Not only do I happen to think that we might have actually enjoyed saying hello and kicking around some conversation, but I do have to wonder if, maybe had we met, you might have a better impression of it all. 




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(in reply to DomImus)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 12:35:27 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline 		just to add my vote that munches ive been to have all been very gentle, friendly get togethers, thats the whole point of them.

i was told of a munch that was held in the basement of a pub and there was a spanking stool where everyone, (including the vanillas) were encouraged to play - but thats about as racey as ive heard munches get - till i read this thread anyway -

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

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Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 1:39:11 PM   
MissAsylum


Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline 		well like many have said- mine was not typical of what munches are. the person who harrassed my poor friend was put out promptly after we said something. there are asses everywhere, so i can only assume a munch is no different.

(in reply to lally2)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 1:43:38 PM   
LillyoftheVally


Posts: 1826
Joined: 7/22/2009
Status: offline 		What about the girls mauling the bloke?

_____________________________

'My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fibre, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes.'

Nah I am not happy to see you either

(in reply to MissAsylum)
Profile   Post #: 80
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