RE: Being Newbs At a Munch

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RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 6:29:30 AM

MissAsylum

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Domiguy- are you aware that you are still blocked?

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RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 6:31:50 AM

domiguy

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum

Domiguy- are you aware that you are still blocked?

Geeez Louise! Now you tell me!!! I would never have posted if I knew it was impossible for me to get a response.

And you wonder why life is so hard for you.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 6/1/2010 6:32:13 AM >

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RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 6:39:55 AM

Falcor64

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Greetings,

A simple thing for a newbie to do- most groups these days have some sort of online discussion/email list/Fet Life presence. Lurk in that for a while and see what the group is like before even considering going to a gathering! Then if you think it's worthwhile, ask there for what to expect at a munch or other function.

In my experience (with 4 different groups), munches could easily be mistaken for a group of people getting together after work. It's at a restaurant or bar, and is intentionally vanilla, except for the topics of conversation! :-)

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RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 6:44:45 AM

MissAsylum

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well i'm not paticularly a fan of fetlife- but are there any other sources that you could personally recommend?

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RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 7:00:58 AM

Rochsub2009

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Hey MA, sorry to hear that you had that experience.

As many others have written, this was an unusual experience for a munch. Munches are usually held at inexpensive restaurants, and the atmosphere is intentionally kept vanilla. If anyone arrived wearing fetish clothing, they'd probably be asked to leave.

The problem with munches is that they are intended to attract new members. These newbies often don't know what the proper protocol is. That sounds like what happened with the individual who asked your friend to pee on the floor. He was probably a newbie visitor who got too excited. And his excitement got him kicked out, so that problem was resolved properly.

i do have a question for you though. Why do you call your boyfriend a "vanilla" boyfriend? You say that you are both a pro-Domme and a lifestyle Domme. You also say that the two of you enjoy BDSM play. So what makes him vanilla? He may be a newbie, but he doesn't sound vanilla. He's dating a pro-Domme (i am going to assume that he knows that you are a pro). He enjoys BDSM play. His pro-Domme girlfriend is also a lifestyle Domme, and thus i assume there is a reasonable amount of control that you exercise over the relationship. So what is vanilla about that? Or in what parallel universe is that considered to be vanilla? He sounds like a newbie who is willing to learn more and add more BDSM to his life. But he certainly doesn't sound vanilla. Sounds like you have a good thing that you are undervaluing.

< Message edited by Rochsub2009 -- 6/1/2010 7:22:29 AM >

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RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 7:04:08 AM

GreedyTop

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*adores Roch*

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RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 7:11:40 AM

sirsholly

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quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop

Munches, in my experience, are usually held at public/vanilla venues. They MOVE to private venues afterwards for play, if the organizers/participants so choose.

this.

And the private venue is often times closed to first-timers.

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RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 7:24:17 AM

MissAsylum

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i agree with you that he really isnt vanilla. however, he considers himself to be since he enjoys just the sexual aspect. so i just leave it as he wants to be called.

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RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 7:29:03 AM

Rochsub2009

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum

i agree with you that he really isnt vanilla. however, he considers himself to be since he enjoys just the sexual aspect. so i just leave it as he wants to be called.

A rose, by any other name............

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RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 7:32:51 AM

MissAsylum

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lol. me and him have had that conversation before. he is quiet the argumenative type- so i just leave it be. "you wanna be called vanilla? fine. now shut up."

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RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 7:36:40 AM

CarrieO

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quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum

well i'm not paticularly a fan of fetlife- but are there any other sources that you could personally recommend?

The FAQs thread on the Ask a Mistress forum has a link at the bottom of the page for organizations/groups/munches. You might try that.

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RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 7:41:36 AM

MissAsylum

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thanks love.

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RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 7:42:09 AM

LadyPact

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I have been to I don't know how many munches over the years in a number of different states. Not once have I ever heard of anything so ridiculous.

What group sponsored the munch? Have you checked their website to see what rules they have for folks attending their functions? Who was in charge of organizing the event? (Somebody reserved the room/area and scheduled whoever was presenting.) Did you talk to them prior to going or since the incident?

It just amazes Me that in the course of a month or so you've now had three incidents meeting folks involved in BDSM that have never happened to Me in over ten years.

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 6/1/2010 7:47:00 AM >

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RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 7:47:52 AM

MissAsylum

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you got cut off LP

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RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 7:52:22 AM

LadyPact

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Yes, computer blip on My end. The entry should appear finished now.

Sorry for the technical difficulty.

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RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 8:08:01 AM

Jeffff

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I am having a hard time believing this.

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RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 8:30:42 AM

Rochsub2009

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quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I have been to I don't know how many munches over the years in a number of different states. Not once have I ever heard of anything so ridiculous.

It just amazes Me that in the course of a month or so you've now had three incidents meeting folks involved in BDSM that have never happened to Me in over ten years.

Yeah, i was thinking the same thing. In almost 20 years of BDSM, i've never seen as much drama as MissAsylum seems to run into in the average month.

i certainly don't mean this as an insult to MissAsylum, but i do have to wonder what she is doing to foster these odd occurrences? Is there something lacking in her screening process? Is she sending the wrong messages through body language? Or is it just a matter of her being a relative newbie?

(Note to MissAsylum: This is not meant to be a personal attack. i hope you appreciate that i am posing a valid question that others have probably considered as well. Perhaps by pondering it, it may help you to improve your current process).

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RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 8:35:19 AM

LuckyAlbatross

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quote:

It just amazes Me that in the course of a month or so you've now had three incidents meeting folks involved in BDSM that have never happened to Me in over ten years.

Ditto. I've been to some crappy munches- badly hosted, bad food, cliquish behavior and so on. But nothing beyond what you'd find at any sort of similar social function.

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RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 8:46:21 AM

Jeffff

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I once went to a munch. It was food and coffee and boring.

Her munch sounds more fun

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RE: Being Newbs At a Munch - 6/1/2010 8:53:47 AM

MissAsylum

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no offense taken. but aside from somebody being a bit too passive agressive with me- i wasnt the one with a bad expirence here. i found everything quite funny. as for why these things happen to me- it could be a plethora of things- i'm too nice, fairly new, my age(i know that has a lot to do with it- people i know that are under 30 in this scene have stories that would make your hair stand up on end). anyway- things have started becoming..."interesting" for me when i decieded to go outside my norm. i tried dating from this site, not waiting almost 6 months before meeting somebody and going to a munch. granted, the meeting thing was nobody's fault but my own and i take full responsibilty for it. you live and learn. can't learn without expirence in my opinion.

< Message edited by MissAsylum -- 6/1/2010 8:57:39 AM >

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