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RE: If I knew then, what I know now - 7/19/2010 10:14:05 AM

Dungeon1740

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I would not have wasted so many years with the wrong man

(in reply to Rochsub2009)

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RE: If I knew then, what I know now - 7/19/2010 11:47:33 AM

abuddingdom

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There's a handful of forks in the road which I reached, had a concious choice, and yup - I took the wrong one. Funny thing about those forks in the road, there's usually no turning back, even, especially even when you wish you could......

regarding my mistakes in the lifestyle : frenzy happens. I don't even know that I'd classify frenzt as a mistake, as I learned from it........

and the op makes a good point - the learning part just keeps happening. learning about myself, learning about the lifestyle, what works and doesn't and what's good for me and mine and isn't. Thelearning part doesn't end..........

(in reply to Dungeon1740)

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RE: If I knew then, what I know now - 7/19/2010 1:00:21 PM

xssve

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I'd have started doing it a lot sooner.

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RE: If I knew then, what I know now - 7/19/2010 7:26:04 PM

gungadin09

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i would take into account the fact that i'm going to be really, really stupid after a breakup. i would allot myself a lot of time for it to heal.

pam

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Post #: 84

RE: If I knew then, what I know now - 7/19/2010 9:44:34 PM

buttonsss

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Aileen1968

I would have controlled my sub frenzy and waited for the "One".
Being with people I didn't really click with just to experience the thrill has been a huge regret.

I'm really worried I'm going to get myself into this situation once I'm back from summer. >_>

I'm a newbie and have all sorts of things to learn...my biggest mistake so far was jumping into a scene with the first guy to offer, and then completely failing to speak up when he did things that even I knew he shouldn't. At least I know that I've learned from that. I'd like to think this would help me control any potential upcoming "sub frenzy" but I can totally see myself thinking "But I can trust these people! I know that they actually know what they're doing!" Which, while true, doesn't necessarily make playing with them a good idea...

(in reply to Aileen1968)

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RE: If I knew then, what I know now - 7/20/2010 6:33:07 PM

gungadin09

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i would have bought stock in Microsoft. Oh, wait! Wrong thread.

pam

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Post #: 86

RE: If I knew then, what I know now - 7/20/2010 7:02:16 PM

juliaoceania

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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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quote:

n the context of bdsm and D/s, it's easy to toss advice to someone that's new, but can you admit the mistakes you have made?

I often admit the mistakes I have made, although those who are new often do not want to acknowledge it

quote:

Did you struggle with accepting this part of you and if so, how did you deal with that?

Yes I did, so I went and I researched, I went to chatrooms, but mostly I explored with someone I knew through vanilla interactions... when that ended I went on to search on alt, which worked out okay for me.

quote:

Do you ever still struggle with it?

Yes... because I sometimes do not feel submissive, and then something happens to show me how submissive I really am.

quote:

What have you learned about yourself and others?

I am still learning how deep my nature goes, as into the core of my being. I am learning that my orientation is obvious to experienced eyes.

quote:

Is there anything you would change if you could?

quote:

What do you think is the most important learning experience you have had?

I am self defined. I am who I am. I look to my dominant half to emphasize me, not to define me.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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Post #: 87

RE: If I knew then, what I know now - 7/20/2010 7:02:31 PM

gungadin09

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Or has that one been done already?

pam

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RE: If I knew then, what I know now - 7/20/2010 7:11:21 PM

sexyred1

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If I knew then what I know now...

Let's see:

1. Would not have fallen so hard for the worst person on the planet for me
2. Would not have spent so many years with this wrong person
3. Would have not compromised so much with this wrong person
4. Would never have gone on a second date with this wrong person
5. Would not still be trying to deal with this situation.

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Post #: 89

RE: If I knew then, what I know now - 7/20/2010 7:15:04 PM

juliaoceania

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quote:

I'm 44 now and I seriously question of my choices made in say the last 18 years of my life.

Here I thought you were like 25 for some reason....

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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Post #: 90

RE: If I knew then, what I know now - 7/20/2010 7:20:07 PM

juliaoceania

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

If I knew then what I know now...

Let's see:

1. Would not have fallen so hard for the worst person on the planet for me
2. Would not have spent so many years with this wrong person
3. Would have not compromised so much with this wrong person
4. Would never have gone on a second date with this wrong person
5. Would not still be trying to deal with this situation.

As my journal says, sometimes we have to say goodbye to something to make room for something better... my beautiful friend

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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Post #: 91

RE: If I knew then, what I know now - 7/20/2010 7:20:40 PM

KatyLied

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It saddens me to see posts filled with regret. Especially regarding living, breathing people. Even when we have relationship mistakes, whether of our making or the other person's making, there is often a lesson to be learned. Sometimes the clarity is moments later, other times it takes years before you can accept what was handed to you,. You learned, you grew, perhaps you suffered, but a life of regret is a sad life.

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“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

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Post #: 92

RE: If I knew then, what I know now - 7/20/2010 7:21:02 PM

sexyred1

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Thanks, Julia, but after today, I feel like I just want to be euthanized so I don't have to feel anything.

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Post #: 93

RE: If I knew then, what I know now - 7/20/2010 7:24:53 PM

KatyLied

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You know you speak of your cryptonite. We all own some.

_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

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Post #: 94

RE: If I knew then, what I know now - 7/20/2010 7:26:30 PM

juliaoceania

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

It saddens me to see posts filled with regret. Especially regarding living, breathing people. Even when we have relationship mistakes, whether of our making or the other person's making, there is often a lesson to be learned. Sometimes the clarity is moments later, other times it takes years before you can accept what was handed to you,. You learned, you grew, perhaps you suffered, but a life of regret is a sad life.

I am so grateful for my last relationship, even though it ended. He helped me do things I never thought possible to me. I am in a wonderful place....

It is saddens me too, that people cannot view endings as new beginnings.... one door closes and another opens.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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Post #: 95

RE: If I knew then, what I know now - 7/20/2010 7:27:39 PM

juliaoceania

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Thanks, Julia, but after today, I feel like I just want to be euthanized so I don't have to feel anything.

Have a margarita, I have had three...

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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Post #: 96

RE: If I knew then, what I know now - 7/20/2010 7:28:49 PM

sexyred1

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

You know you speak of your cryptonite. We all own some.

This is me trying to obliterate the kryptonite for good. And today it came to a head.

Don't want to derail any longer.

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Post #: 97

RE: If I knew then, what I know now - 7/20/2010 7:28:57 PM

juliaoceania

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quote:

ORIGINAL: KatyLied

You know you speak of your cryptonite. We all own some.

Honey, my cryptonite belongs to some other poor unsuspecting sistah, Lord help her

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RE: If I knew then, what I know now - 7/20/2010 7:29:14 PM

laurell3

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quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Thanks, Julia, but after today, I feel like I just want to be euthanized so I don't have to feel anything.

I'm sorry to hear that red. I've been there and done that, the Tshirt ain't worth the heartache. My email box is always open, should you need it. I give shitty relationship advice, but I might make you laugh!

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

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RE: If I knew then, what I know now - 7/20/2010 7:30:25 PM

dcnovice

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tapestry_(Star_Trek:_The_Next_Generation)

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No matter how cynical you become,
it's never enough to keep up.

JANE WAGNER, THE SEARCH FOR SIGNS OF
INTELLIGENT LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE

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