RE: Public or Private Displays.

RE: Public or Private Displays. (Full Version)

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DaddysInkedSlut -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/9/2010 8:56:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aynne88 quote: ORIGINAL: DaddysInkedSlut quote: I have to agree with Lady Angelika, I dress for events, and the places I attend for dinner for example require a dress code. I have tattoos, however, they are hidden, and when I go out, I dress like it is an event. It is a shame to me that people no longer regard an evening out as something to dress for. I will never lower my standards, and they are mine only of course, but I think a night on the town with my man is a reason to look lovely and to dress for the occasion. Oh I'm not saying that I don't dress for the specific event, infact I persnally love to dress up and go out. However, even then my tattoos are NEVER hidden. I wear them proudly like some women wear diamonds or pearls. This kind of reminds me of a conversation I had with my 16 yr old recently regarding prom attire. The dresses she wanted/prefered where not approriate for prom IMO and since I was paying well she compromised. Lol Roch is correct though even the places that have dress codes have lax dress codes. The reality is that is what brings in more people, because people want to be comfortable when out. DIS, you know I love you chickie...but...not all places have a lax dress code. There are several places here that require a jacket and a dress code and quite honestly sometimes I just don't want to go out and dine with people in jeans and t-shirts. ALL the places in my area have lax dress codes.

DaddysInkedSlut -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/9/2010 9:01:31 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IronBear Looking back to tattoos, I've seen as many if not more tatts on blokes my age than the under 30s. Most of the older tatts are from early Biker Group blokes and of course damned nearly most of the Navy Blokes from WW2 had tatts which was one area which helped to popularise them even when I was a kid. When I got mine in 1963, my Mother near had a heart attack and raised merry Cain about them threatening to ban me from the family home unless my arms were covered. I know jobs where it is required to cover tatts in case customers feel threatened by large people with tatts on their arm. Several court cases were fought over this with a ruling that it was discriminatory to force people to cover tatts with the exceptions of: sexually explicit tatts or tatts promoting violence. EXACTLY IB!! I know ALOT of older men and women with tattoos. Granted as you said they are either from the biker scene or ex military. Even when I was teaching public schools several of my tattoos showed. The schools had the same policy unless they were sexually explicit or promoting violence they couldn't / wouldn't say anything.

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/9/2010 9:20:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DaddysInkedSlut quote: ORIGINAL: Aynne88 not all places have a lax dress code. There are several places here that require a jacket and a dress code ALL the places in my area have lax dress codes. Does it really matter whether ALL places have lax dress codes, or that merely some do? The point is that times are changing. There is definitely a shift towards less formality. But that shift won't hit every place at the same time. But i don't think that anyone will deny that the shift is occurring. Can we agree on that?

DaddysInkedSlut -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/9/2010 9:22:49 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Rochsub2009 quote: ORIGINAL: DaddysInkedSlut quote: ORIGINAL: Aynne88 not all places have a lax dress code. There are several places here that require a jacket and a dress code ALL the places in my area have lax dress codes. Does it really matter whether ALL places have lax dress codes, or that merely some do? The point is that times are changing. There is definitely a shift towards less formality. But that shift won't hit every place at the same time. But i don't think that anyone will deny that the shift is occurring. Can we agree on that? Agreed. I think the change is because businesses want to appeal to the masses more often than anything.

Aynne88 -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/10/2010 8:40:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika quote: But despite my fervor in fighting for peoples' right to self-expression, i still wish that i could go out for a nice night of dinner and theatre and not be the only person still wearing a suit and tie. It is common place in downtown Montreal. I guess I live in a different society ;-) - LA It's common here as well, even for events as simple as Business after Hours, which is our Chamber of Commerce meeting, and every Friday throughout the summer season, we have Artwalk, since the coast of Maine is home to Andrew Wyeth and full of galleries, and it is very much a fashionable event, with everyone glammed up. I love it. I do think maybe it is a regional thing, because I see no loosening of it here. Thank god.

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/10/2010 2:44:32 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aynne88 I do think maybe it is a regional thing, because I see no loosening of it here. Thank god. It's not a regional thing. It's a macro-trend. I do business all over America, and i see casual dress more frequently everywhere i go. Has EVERY company or industry abandoned business attire? No. Investment bankers still wear business suits. So do most lawyers at major firms. So there are industries that have not loosened their dress code. But many industries/companies have. To respond to this trend, many restaurants had to loosen their dress code as well. Just stand downtown in any major city and look how many people are now going into office buildings wearing khakis and polo shirts, or dress pants and a dress shirt, but no jacket or tie. Then go stand on Broadway in NYC and watch the theater crowd. Not as dressed up as they used to be, are they? Pull up the annual report for a company like Brooks Brothers that is primarily in the men's suit business. Look at how their sales have plummeted over the past 10-15 years. Then do a quick google search on how many dry cleaners have gone out of business in the past 10 years. They're all related occurrences. There is a macro-trend that you are in denial about. It is much bigger than your little corner of Maine. -BTW, i happen to own a retail clothing store. The "Casual Fridaying of America" has been a hot topic at industry conventions for over a decade. Smart retailers replaced much of their business suit inventory with khakis and polo shirts to take advantage of the changing business fashion. Those who didn't make this shift probably went out of business. i am amazed that someone could be oblivious to (or in denial about) this massive fashion shift.

LuckyAlbatross -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/10/2010 3:01:55 PM)
We all like to say it doesn't matter what a person wears, but we all insist on continuing the fiction that clothes change the person. Now, I understand this, and I understand that as long as we collectively believe X dress = better business, then that is how it will be. As a formal slut myself, after four years I still "overdress" for most things in Austin. But it is still a fiction and it would be better if we all acknowledged it.

LadyAngelika -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/10/2010 4:38:20 PM)
quote: but we all insist on continuing the fiction that clothes change the person. While I will agree that what someone wears isn't the be all and end all, I do believe that clothes do change the person. Whether that is a positive or a negative is debatable, but one cannot deny that different appearances change the way people interact with us. - LA

IronBear -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/10/2010 5:04:32 PM)
Agreed is fiction up to a point. But we all knowing or unknowing have several "faces"; work, sport various forms of play time, mother, father, lover and just home person. Sometimes it is necessary to dress for the event or situation such as correct sporting gear if you are competing, protective gear for many occupations and required dress codes for some events or places. Each of these projects a different side of you which is good and shouldn't be an issue. I'm happier in Uniforms, Suits (Preferably period because of my love of the graciousness of my chosen period ~ but I know I am also somewhat an extremest). One should dress to impress when meeting with a potential employer, client of a potential lover. Just as a number of women I know and have known prefer to dress to please their significant others, I know as many men who like to dress to please their women. Nice to have the ones you love proud of the way you dress. Our choice of clothes makes a statement about us and is often the first impression so one should take care in dress choices and dress to create a suitable, and impressive impression to build on when talking face to face. None of this is dishonest and for the large part of expected, certainly in my world and circles I prefer to move in. However to dress to create a false image as part of subterfuge is just dishonest and dishonourable and is just not cricket. In extreme cases where people can be hurt, I am in favour of the old Tar & Feather method of registering displeasure.

DaddysInkedSlut -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/10/2010 5:12:01 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IronBear However to dress to create a false image as part of subterfuge is just dishonest and dishonourable and is just not cricket. In extreme cases where people can be hurt, I am in favour of the old Tar & Feather method of registering displeasure. [sm=applause.gif]

Aynne88 -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/10/2010 5:13:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika quote: but we all insist on continuing the fiction that clothes change the person. While I will agree that what someone wears isn't the be all and end all, I do believe that clothes do change the person. Whether that is a positive or a negative is debatable, but one cannot deny that different appearances change the way people interact with us. - LA Seriously how much more must we debate this? If they want to go dine at Applebee's rock on, or to underdress at high end places, go ahead, I won't. I also will continue to attend events that I can dress for , why this is a debate is beyond me. Lady A., I so get what you are saying, and sadly it appears that others don't. Fuck it, I won't dress down, or talk down, or dumb down, not matter what the rest of America is doing. Call me a bitch, or a snob, I am ok with that, and something tells me you are as well .[;)]

LadyAngelika -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/10/2010 5:33:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Aynne88 quote: ORIGINAL: LadyAngelika quote: but we all insist on continuing the fiction that clothes change the person. While I will agree that what someone wears isn't the be all and end all, I do believe that clothes do change the person. Whether that is a positive or a negative is debatable, but one cannot deny that different appearances change the way people interact with us. - LA Seriously how much more must we debate this? If they want to go dine at Applebee's rock on, or to underdress at high end places, go ahead, I won't. I also will continue to attend events that I can dress for , why this is a debate is beyond me. Lady A., I so get what you are saying, and sadly it appears that others don't. Fuck it, I won't dress down, or talk down, or dumb down, not matter what the rest of America is doing. Call me a bitch, or a snob, I am ok with that, and something tells me you are as well .[;)] Aynne, you are a gorgeous and elegant woman. I'll give you that label much sooner than I'll give you the label bitch or snob. In all honestly, I don't consider myself a snob and it takes a lot for me to be a bitch. The thing is, not all of us live in the same world or societies. I cannot go to work in khakis and a polo. All the men in my office wear ties and since I'm upper management, it is business suit for me. And no, we aren't investment bankers! That said, I can go to diners on Saturday mornings wearing flip-flops and my hair in a pony. When in the diner, I'll eat my bacon and fruit slices with my fingers and I might even sit in the booth, reading a daily, legs curled up under me. But I'm in a diner! That's all fine and dandy there. ;-) When earlier I said that some things to me are sacred is that I am a firm believer that certain places should have dress codes and to take those dress codes away is a sad thing, at least for me. I love being in an upscale place (not the nouveau riche kind of snooty place but rather authentically upscale) where there is fine wine and food. I grew up on this, it is part of my life now. There is a certain etiquette, traditions that come with certain things and I'm not ready to let them go. It's as simple as that and I won't make any apologies for it. So on that front, perhaps I am a wee bit of a bitch. Now I know we have strayed far from the original subject, but the bottom line is a question of preference, and to a degree up bringing. I'm not even half as strict about etiquette and decorum as such as my father's parents were (my paternal grandmother could have run a finishing school) and to a certain degree, my father loosened up over the years. But there is a place where I draw the line, and that is jeans and sneakers at the symphony or blowjobs on the subway, dammit! ;-) - LA

IronBear -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/10/2010 5:39:05 PM)
[sm=cactus.gif][sm=yourock.gif] I couldn't agree more lass. I will not allow others dictate how I dress as long as I am not dressing inappropriately for the occasion (like wearing a lounge or business suit to a black tie event). Not withstanding the critisism and flaming I have recieved from some members in an Aussie BDSM Forum in FetLife on the way I speek, write and generally use the Engklish Language, I will never lower my standards to the level found in most pubs (places I abhore unlessd I am being paid to be there). I do not expect another soul to follow my lead nor adopt my standards that bhas to be their choice, but I do know that whilst there are those setting examples of good manners etc, there will be those who will follow that lead and in some cases gain the courage to do what they know is right.

littlegirlangel -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/11/2010 12:42:00 AM)
I don't mind a little bit of public play, a flogging, whipping, suspension ect. But I do think heavy play such as humiliation, face slapping, and some things along those lines should be done at home. I rarely play in public with Daddy and when I do I call red much earlier than I would at home because I refuse to go into subspace or let go emotionally in public. Those are things I do when I'm safe at home and it's just me and Daddy. Our public play, so far mostly consisting of canings, quirts and paddles and knife play tends to be more light hearted and silly and I get away with "bratting" and saying things like, "I know where you sleep!" when he hits me in a tender spot. Or when he had my arms above my head me running in circles trying to get away from the paddle. And we didn't play at the garage for a long time until I knew all of the regulars and felt a bit more comfortable being nude or semi nude around them.

Synonymph -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/11/2010 4:35:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IronBear Some how I don't think LA was referring to public displays of genitals or public demonstrations of wanking, but hey if that's what the public need lets have at them.... Gather round the biscuit and jerk off. Last one to cum gets to eat the soggy biscuit (cracker for those in the US).. [:-][8\|][;)][:'(] I was just about to go and make lunch.... I may now leave it while until the image of the above fades from my mind lol [:D]

Aynne88 -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/11/2010 6:13:40 AM)
We have similar upbringings then, because at my grandparents your dressed for dinner, and I don't mean formal, but presentable. Jeans at church? Never. I went to lunch yesterday with my honey and we went to a casual little seafood place on the water, I wore jeans, and espadrilles. All good. However, it's Friday, we are dining at a fantastic elegant french bistro, Francine, and I will be properly attired as will he. It isn't one or the other, just like you said, and hopefully I won't witness any blowjobs there either. ;) I do want to see duck confit and foie gras though. :) I just won't eat all day..lol. Oh and you are quite the paragon of lovely and elegant yourself... Back on topic. He recently had back surgery and is temporarily using a cane. I tie his shoes quite often, and I certainly see nothing inappropriate it to do so in public. I also order for him usually, he likes it. It really isn't anything to do with our "dynamic" he is just more comfortable with me ordering in high end places, his ex-wife wouldn't dine at such places, so it's just something he asks me to do. I hope no one sees that as an inappropriate diisplay of anything other than courtesy. Any more than how he assists me with putting on my coat, pulling out my chair and always standing when I approach the table. Dominants and chivalry can very much go hand in hand. I wouldn't be with a man that wasnt that way.

Aynne88 -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/11/2010 6:16:14 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: IronBear [sm=cactus.gif][sm=yourock.gif] I couldn't agree more lass. I will not allow others dictate how I dress as long as I am not dressing inappropriately for the occasion (like wearing a lounge or business suit to a black tie event). Not withstanding the critisism and flaming I have recieved from some members in an Aussie BDSM Forum in FetLife on the way I speek, write and generally use the Engklish Language, I will never lower my standards to the level found in most pubs (places I abhore unlessd I am being paid to be there). I do not expect another soul to follow my lead nor adopt my standards that bhas to be their choice, but I do know that whilst there are those setting examples of good manners etc, there will be those who will follow that lead and in some cases gain the courage to do what they know is right. And that, dear Sir, is why you are a gentleman, and it does not go unnoticed. [:)]/

IronBear -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/11/2010 6:21:05 AM)
Thank you M'Lady.

DommeKeliDallas -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/11/2010 8:13:39 PM)
I mean doing KINK in public. Dragging a tranny down the street. Walking a subbie like a dog across the street...you know...PUBLIC. "Wise wretch! with pleasures too refined to please, With too much spirit to be e'er at ease, With too much quickness ever to be taught, With too much thinking to have common thought: You purchase pain with all that joy can give, And die of nothing but a rage to live." — Alexander Pope

DaddysInkedSlut -> RE: Public or Private Displays. (6/11/2010 8:22:42 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: DommeKeliDallas I mean doing KINK in public. Dragging a tranny down the street. Walking a subbie like a dog across the street...you know...PUBLIC. WTF.. so now walking down the stress with a tranny or someone crossdressing is kink and public play? What about all of those goth and punks who walk down the street in collar and leash who have NOTHING do with the bdsm lifestyle? Wow.

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