|
porcelaine -> RE: Can a slave have plans and aspirations? (6/9/2010 5:08:04 AM)
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: SocratesNot
Or (s)he must surrender all of these plans, dreams and aspirations to the Master / Mistress, and pursue only the plans / aspirations that Master / Mistress wants her / him to pursue.
What happens if the slave already has all of these plans and aspirations in the beginning of the relationship and have had them even before the relationship started.
Does he / she have to give up all of his / her plans, ambitions and aspirations if he / she wants to be a slave?
I'm going to answer you honestly because I think I get where you're coming from. Yes, we all enter relationships with areas of interests and things we'd like to do and explore in our lifetime. That's normal and I don't know many that can't say the same. But in terms of the exchange, the exploration of such is dependent on the initial agreement and the finality that the dominant possesses. Because as we've already covered, he can and does change his mind.
It is true that for some slavery is a vocation. It is the essence of their being and they exist to serve and please the owner. Persons with that aspiration may or may not work outside of the home. And that is typically based on financial necessity in all truth. In terms of the other things she finds enjoyable, the majority relate back to the owner, dynamic, or service in some manner. She improves herself in areas she knows he finds interesting and beneficial. Her personal desires are well aligned with his. Setting aside is a pretty strong word because it's really not an issue. She's moving to his cadence.
Other slaves have a more well rounded approach that may include the above and other activities that benefit their personal growth and development. Whether the dominant will permit them to engage in that manner while in the relationship depends on the dynamic. It behooves the girl to ask; especially where career, education, and important hobbies are involved. Getting everything upfront alleviates frustration and sour grapes later on. So, are there dominants that will ask you to give it up to be with them? You betcha. Have I encountered them in relationships and in conversations with potentials? Most definitely.
In terms of my experiences the big ones were career, education, and relocation. They desired someone that would remain at home, school was iffy to say the least, and relocation was a necessity. The latter has never been an issue in terms of travel or moving. But the first two were very bothersome for me. In fact, I wondered why they ever looked at me because I have never promoted the idea that I wanted to remain at home, but I digress it happens. I don't need to revisit the potential problems a situation like that might cause. The financial issues were addressed upfront and the solution was fair but something gnawed at me nonetheless.
I'd be sacrificing a great deal. Everything I enjoyed that made me uniquely porcelaine would come to a halt. My whole world would revolve around a dynamic and I'd have a laundry list of things I'd never done. I couldn't accept that. Not only because I had reservations and believed myself much too young to live that way, but I'd be compromising my happiness in the long run. I would have been miserable. As much as I would have enjoyed the relationship, I needed much more at the time. So I politely declined.
If you asked me today would I do the same I would admit it depends on the person and the dynamic we have. I don't know if I'm happy with that answer right now. I waver between healthy compromise and unreasonable contortion. But that's usually when I'm moving away from my mindset and not towards it. I believe we should strike a balance. Determining what that balance implies is up to the parties involved.
~porcelaine
|
|
|
|
