RE: Can a slave have plans and aspirations?

RE: Can a slave have plans and aspirations? (Full Version)

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion

Message

SocratesNot -> RE: Can a slave have plans and aspirations? (6/9/2010 5:26:03 AM)
quote: I'm going to answer you honestly because I think I get where you're coming from. Yes, we all enter relationships with areas of interests and things we'd like to do and explore in our lifetime. That's normal and I don't know many that can't say the same. But in terms of the exchange, the exploration of such is dependent on the initial agreement and the finality that the dominant possesses. Because as we've already covered, he can and does change his mind. It is true that for some slavery is a vocation. It is the essence of their being and they exist to serve and please the owner. Persons with that aspiration may or may not work outside of the home. And that is typically based on financial necessity in all truth. In terms of the other things she finds enjoyable, the majority relate back to the owner, dynamic, or service in some manner. She improves herself in areas she knows he finds interesting and beneficial. Her personal desires are well aligned with his. Setting aside is a pretty strong word because it's really not an issue. She's moving to his cadence. Other slaves have a more well rounded approach that may include the above and other activities that benefit their personal growth and development. Whether the dominant will permit them to engage in that manner while in the relationship depends on the dynamic. It behooves the girl to ask; especially where career, education, and important hobbies are involved. Getting everything upfront alleviates frustration and sour grapes later on. So, are there dominants that will ask you to give it up to be with them? You betcha. Have I encountered them in relationships and in conversations with potentials? Most definitely. In terms of my experiences the big ones were career, education, and relocation. They desired someone that would remain at home, school was iffy to say the least, and relocation was a necessity. The latter has never been an issue in terms of travel or moving. But the first two were very bothersome for me. In fact, I wondered why they ever looked at me because I have never promoted the idea that I wanted to remain at home, but I digress it happens. I don't need to revisit the potential problems a situation like that might cause. The financial issues were addressed upfront and the solution was fair but something gnawed at me nonetheless. I'd be sacrificing a great deal. Everything I enjoyed that made me uniquely porcelaine would come to a halt. My whole world would revolve around a dynamic and I'd have a laundry list of things I'd never done. I couldn't accept that. Not only because I had reservations and believed myself much too young to live that way, but I'd be compromising my happiness in the long run. I would have been miserable. As much as I would have enjoyed the relationship, I needed much more at the time. So I politely declined. If you asked me today would I do the same I would admit it depends on the person and the dynamic we have. I don't know if I'm happy with that answer right now. I waver between healthy compromise and unreasonable contortion. But that's usually when I'm moving away from my mindset and not towards it. I believe we should strike a balance. Determining what that balance implies is up to the parties involved. ~porcelaine Wow, porcelaine, this was fantastic reply, and I really enjoyed reading it. You gave me a lot of insight in these issues. Thank you a lot.

Hawkwindblues -> RE: Can a slave have plans and aspirations? (6/9/2010 5:33:00 AM)
Daily i am surer that sn is at an university and working on his doctorate or helping somebody else with scientific work using the assembled members here as his laboratory rats. Or he has a lot of time on his hands.

leadership527 -> RE: Can a slave have plans and aspirations? (6/9/2010 6:46:17 AM)
OK... once more.... Carol is my property. She has the plans and aspirations that I give her... not simply outside, but inside as well. If I tell her I want her to focus on X an defocus on Y, then she will. But the part you seem to be perennially missing is WHY would she do all this? More to the point, why would you think I would mold her in ways which were contrary to our best interests? Is it your impression that the words "evil" or "idiotic" apply to most doms/masters? I have to tell you my observation throughout life is that the vast majority of humans are not bad people. They are muddling through life trying to do the best they can. Oh, I agree, on the internet there is a real preponderance of just plain idiocy when it comes to both dominance and submission. There's a lot of factors which contribute to that but mostly it's just that neither participant has any skin in the game. I see a lot more sensible, honest, well meaning folk when I go to our local MAST meeting.

PeanutTigerinBox -> RE: Can a slave have plans and aspirations? (6/9/2010 6:55:39 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SocratesNot quote: 1) Do you understand that you can mandate requirements of your D before entering a relationship with them? Yes, but some dominants want to dominate from the very beginning, and if you don't comply, you'll not be able to start relationship with them. They don't want any negotiation. that's why even we can pick and chose who we consider to be worthy being a potential Dom for a Ltr and who not [8\|]

SocratesNot -> RE: Can a slave have plans and aspirations? (6/9/2010 6:58:59 AM)
quote: Carol is my property. She has the plans and aspirations that I give her... not simply outside, but inside as well. If I tell her I want her to focus on X an defocus on Y, then she will. OK, did Carol have any strong already established long-term goals, ambitions and aspirations BEFORE entering relationship with you, and did you do anything to prevent her from pursuing or achieving them? If the answer to the second question is yes, I would never be able to be in such relationship, but if this is good for you and Carol and makes both of you happy, then fine.

sunshinemiss -> RE: Can a slave have plans and aspirations? (6/9/2010 6:59:38 AM)
How is the bowling SN?

PeanutTigerinBox -> RE: Can a slave have plans and aspirations? (6/9/2010 7:06:37 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SocratesNot If the to the second question is answer is yes, I would never be able to be in such relationship, but if this is good for you and Carol and makes both of you happy, then fine. lol....if you need a doormat to be satisfied, then just go in the next store and buy one...I heard opinions like yours before (thankfully not too often, though) and would love to see you in reality if you would ever end up in a situation where you actually need serious help (eg due to illness or aftermath of an accident) and then potentially aren't even much able to talk...I am sure in such a situation a slave who strictly only does as she is told must be "very helpful" to you indeed snort...out of experience I can tell you in such situations (which people tend to avoid to take into consideration as after all, they are healthy and fine and why should ever something happen to them) you would be a very lucky D indeed to have a slave who has an own mind and knows how to use it when necessary [8\|] A Dom who puts down my intrinsic aspirations or motivations would not be a D for me...though yeah, there is a german word starting with D which would apply to him, but it's far from Dom [:D]

leadership527 -> RE: Can a slave have plans and aspirations? (6/9/2010 7:13:42 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SocratesNot OK, did Carol have any strong already established long-term goals, ambitions and aspirations BEFORE entering relationship with you, and did you do anything to prevent her from pursuing or achieving them? Yes she had such plans. Yes I have, to some extent, prevented her from pursuing them. Life.... real life... doesn't work out the way you're suggesting SN. I do the best I can to lead our marriage and I place no particular weighting on her needs/wants vs. mine. They all just go into the hopper then I sort them out as best I'm able. But you know what? Sometimes life doesn't hand you the opportunities you'd really like and sometimes manufacturing those opportunities will take more effort than the result is worth. I call that "reality". Real life... and real decision making... involves balancing complicated issues and weighing pro's and con's and getting to some sort of best fit scenario.

porcelaine -> RE: Can a slave have plans and aspirations? (6/9/2010 7:14:11 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: SocratesNot Wow, porcelaine, this was fantastic reply, and I really enjoyed reading it. You gave me a lot of insight in these issues. Thank you a lot. You're welcome. Now consider our previous discussions on slavery. It really comes down to where you are and how you feel about yourself when making decisions. One of the situations I mentioned was with someone very well heeled. But I knew it wasn't for me. Perhaps another girl would have been swayed by the lifestyle and on here a year later crying the blues. I just wasn't willing to be that girl. And with all due respect, I built this. I may hand it over to him but I'll never allow him to mess it up. No can do. :) ~porcelaine

RCdc -> RE: Can a slave have plans and aspirations? (6/9/2010 7:19:47 AM)
quote: Yes, but some dominants want to dominate from the very beginning, and if you don't comply, you'll not be able to start relationship with them. They don't want any negotiation. Then if the s-type doesn't want a dominant like that, it doesn't happen. Let me ask you, would you really attempt to get to know a dominant that made such demands when it's not the way you believe they should behave? quote: And then many subs end up with such dominants because they prefer to be in any kind of relationship rather than in no relationship at all. And visa versa. I would take you sentance and alter it slightly to make it much more relative.... And then many *people* end up with such *partners* because they prefer to be in any kind of relationship rather than in no relationship at all. If a persons going to be like that, they will be whether they are so called vanilla, and s type, a d type, a man... a woman... are you getting this yet at all? quote: Sometimes it is hard to find a dominant who is willing to negotiate. Actually it's hard to find adequate dominant at all, even more so if you are selective and have specific requirements. Lets change that again... Sometimes it is hard to find a *person* who is willing to negotiate. Actually it's hard to find adequate *partner* at all, even more so if you are selective and have specific requirements. quote: Yes, of course, but again, it's quite hard thing to do. In a sense you are correct... but of course it's called life. You are how old? I think somone said 22/24? My son is 17... and he has a better grip on relationships than you have shown here. I don't mean to sound condecending, but have you had any good relationships in your life at all? Your parents? Partners? Siblings? Peers? quote: Not actually. I am quite aware of how is it possible in theory to be selective and to negotiate and to find a perfect partner for yourself. In reality it is very hard to find a dominant partner if you are submissive and then it is very easy to end up with compromises that you'll regret later. I'm not convinced you understnad the intricate reality of relationships and that what you find to be so very hard, is just life and not restricted to an s-type finding a dominant. Do you really comprehend that at all? the.dark.

kiwisub12 -> RE: Can a slave have plans and aspirations? (6/9/2010 7:19:56 AM)
SN - what everyone is covering up, in a vast internet conspiracy, is that, once a sub/slave enters into a relationship, they have NO rights. They instantly surrender ALL to their master/mistress and require permission for everything - including breathing priviliges. In fact the first begging session is immediately - the sub/slave is required to beg for air - without using any of their masters. And then the answer may be no. This is why there is a weekly dead slave pick-up available in most major cities - for the ones that failed to gain permission. As for individual aspirations, hobbies, education, work, family, friends - well, see above. If your master wants you or allows you to indulge in any of these things, then yes you can. Otherwise, you are shit out of luck. Any income? Goes straight to the master(and when i say master, i also mean mistress), and if you are very lucky, he may allow you to have an all day sucker, bought with that money. Pimp you out? Well, sure - after all, you do belong to him, and masters get a perverse pleasure from misusing something that belongs to them. And then there is that additional income which can come in handy for building that dank, dark dungeon where you will be sequestered until your services are needed. You will be required to love and adore your master - and he will treat you with scorn, and degradation (unless this is your kink, in which case he will be all sweetness and light - even if it kills him, because god forbid he do something nice for someone he condescended to enter into a relationship with). And leaving - ha! Fugetaboutit! You get out once you are broken down, and have PTSD and no longer are appealing to anyone else - because there is no reason to get rid of you before your usefulness is used up. And when you leave , you will be ejected to the curb, with whatever you happen to be wearing - if anything, and no-one will think anything about it. Except maybe to laugh at you for being useless. No money, no belongings, no nothing - because all you were and all you had belongs to your (now ex-) master. At this stage there isn't much available to you, so the position of the nearest high bridge is usually pointed out by some caring bystander, for you to take the "final solution". There aren't too many sub/slaves that enter into second relationships - because there isn't enough of them left after the first. All the people on cm who claim to be on their second and third relationship? - -meh, shills for the conspiracy leaders, lulling the sheep into calmness for the slaughter. Be afraid, SN, be very afraid!

kyraofMists -> RE: Can a slave have plans and aspirations? (6/9/2010 7:30:43 AM)
I can have dreams, aspirations and plans for my life. Whether I am allowed to pursue them is completely up to him. He has complete authority over everything in my life. Some things he will allow and other things just don't work for where our life is at right now. He has the authority and he decides what direction our life will go in. If someone is not willing to give someone else complete authority over all aspects of their life, then I suggest they seek a different type of relationship than M/s. Knight's Kyra

VaguelyCurious -> RE: Can a slave have plans and aspirations? (6/9/2010 7:32:35 AM)
Kiwi, I think I just fell in love with you. I am laughing very hard right now. [:D]

Rochsub2009 -> RE: Can a slave have plans and aspirations? (6/9/2010 7:44:33 AM)
Kiwi, That was very funny. Good job! [:D] Unfortunately, i think that SN is going to miss the humor in it, and it is going to stir up a million additional questions in his mind. Curse you for causing that!!!!!

SocratesNot -> RE: Can a slave have plans and aspirations? (6/9/2010 7:51:52 AM)
Kiwi, this is FANTASTIC! Great parody, really! [:D][:D][:D][:D][:D]

daddysprop247 -> RE: Can a slave have plans and aspirations? (6/9/2010 7:54:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kyraofMists I can have dreams, aspirations and plans for my life. Whether I am allowed to pursue them is completely up to him. He has complete authority over everything in my life. Some things he will allow and other things just don't work for where our life is at right now. He has the authority and he decides what direction our life will go in. If someone is not willing to give someone else complete authority over all aspects of their life, then I suggest they seek a different type of relationship than M/s. Knight's Kyra best answer yet. [:)]

SocratesNot -> RE: Can a slave have plans and aspirations? (6/9/2010 7:59:07 AM)
quote: I can have dreams, aspirations and plans for my life. Whether I am allowed to pursue them is completely up to him. He has complete authority over everything in my life. Some things he will allow and other things just don't work for where our life is at right now. He has the authority and he decides what direction our life will go in. If someone is not willing to give someone else complete authority over all aspects of their life, then I suggest they seek a different type of relationship than M/s. Knight's Kyra OK, I'll take your advice. This type of relationship is definitely not for me. I wouldn't be able to be in such relationship, maybe some other form of D/s could be good for me, but this kind of M/s or TPE is definitely not for me.

UniqueRaven -> RE: Can a slave have plans and aspirations? (6/9/2010 8:01:01 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kyraofMists I can have dreams, aspirations and plans for my life. Whether I am allowed to pursue them is completely up to him. He has complete authority over everything in my life. Some things he will allow and other things just don't work for where our life is at right now. He has the authority and he decides what direction our life will go in. If someone is not willing to give someone else complete authority over all aspects of their life, then I suggest they seek a different type of relationship than M/s. Knight's Kyra Ditto this. Exactly. [:)]

heartcream -> RE: Can a slave have plans and aspirations? (6/9/2010 8:09:22 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: kyraofMists I can have dreams, aspirations and plans for my life. Whether I am allowed to pursue them is completely up to him. He has complete authority over everything in my life. Some things he will allow and other things just don't work for where our life is at right now. He has the authority and he decides what direction our life will go in. If someone is not willing to give someone else complete authority over all aspects of their life, then I suggest they seek a different type of relationship than M/s. Knight's Kyra So, nu, can you knit?

crazyml -> RE: Can a slave have plans and aspirations? (6/9/2010 8:15:00 AM)
Wonderful!

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

4.492188E-02