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Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/11/2006 5:21:03 PM

spankmepink11

Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline

This post in regards to the difference in attitude and demeanor of Male and Female Dominants. If this has been covered in a previous thread...i apologize...but since i've been reading the forums it's brought to the forefront of my mind...the major differences i see in the Male and Female points of view.
I've observed, and please....this is not an attack on anyone, that most Female dominants seem to subscribe to the premise of females being a supierior being, and tend to have a general sense of disdain for the males in general....to the point of cruelty....but...if involved with a woman.....the dynamic is more along the lines of the way a Male dominant will treat His female........there just seems to more of an underlying nurturing....and concern for ones well being in the Male Dom/female sub relationship.
I was really just curious if this is something others have noticed....and hope no one takes personal offense...I've always wanted other s opinions and input on this particular topic.
thanks....

Post #: 1

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/11/2006 6:17:37 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

IT's been my experience that this is not true.. Even with a couple of Lesbian Dommies I have long discussions with elsewhere there is no hatred or putting down males unless said male is a dickhead.. Most of my female friends on and off line are Dominants with one who is also a Pro Dommie being my BDSM mentor.. Dominant Gorean Women are certainly not anti-male in any way, shape or form. Perhaps though I am in the minority here...

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 2

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/11/2006 6:21:31 PM

LadyJulieAnn

Posts: 979
Joined: 6/29/2005
Status: offline

Most of the Dommes I've seen posting in the forums are very nurturing (but can be cruel as well), love males, and don't subscribe to female supremacy. I am included in this group.

Be well,
Julie

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 3

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/11/2006 7:21:56 PM

MHOO314

Posts: 3628
Joined: 9/26/2004
Status: offline

I do not believe in Supremacy, I believe in Dominance and that to Me is gender neutral.

_____________________________

SLUTS: Southern Ladies Under Tremendous Stress...

Mistress Hathor

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 4

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/11/2006 7:34:26 PM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

No doubt about it—there are double-standards between the sexes in the practice. While I may disagree with the supposition that dominant females are less nurturing to their submissive males, they do seem to enjoy a gamut of concepts and behaviors that at times extend beyond what is widely allowed for males in the same subculture. Collarme.com is no exception, in fact. A simple glance at their selectable "lifestyle" interests section makes female supremacy readily available, but male supremacy is of course absent—despite the fair suggestion to add it in the past.

It's not really a big deal, however. I think many males see the disparities, but most really don't care.

< Message edited by amayos -- 4/11/2006 7:35:26 PM >

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 5

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/11/2006 7:40:53 PM

Lordandmaster

Posts: 10943
Joined: 6/22/2004
Status: offline

To be honest, I've noticed more pronounced differences between male and female SUBS than between male and female doms.

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 6

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/11/2006 7:46:32 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: spankmepink11

This post in regards to the difference in attitude and demeanor of Male and Female Dominants. If this has been covered in a previous thread...i apologize...but since i've been reading the forums it's brought to the forefront of my mind...the major differences i see in the Male and Female points of view.
I've observed, and please....this is not an attack on anyone, that most Female dominants seem to subscribe to the premise of females being a supierior being, and tend to have a general sense of disdain for the males in general....to the point of cruelty....but...if involved with a woman.....the dynamic is more along the lines of the way a Male dominant will treat His female........there just seems to more of an underlying nurturing....and concern for ones well being in the Male Dom/female sub relationship.
I was really just curious if this is something others have noticed....and hope no one takes personal offense...I've always wanted other s opinions and input on this particular topic.
thanks....

All I can say is that you haven't read anything by me then.

I actually think any of idea of any group being superior to another is total BS... as for me being personally superior, I don't even think in those terms; I'm either worthy or unworthy to own this particular person if we hit it off well enough to even get to that issue.

In general I think its difficult at best to describe dynamics of one group versus another because there will always be those who won't or can't fit. Better to just ask general questions or for people's experiences and read that as individual opinions and lives in my opinion.

Though I am curious as to what is inside your own head that would make these dynamics stick out above other ones? For me, what sticks out or either things that agree with me or which piss me off....

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 7

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/11/2006 7:58:53 PM

gooddogbenji

Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline

What I have found in the profiles on the whole is that a HUGE number of Dommes are looking for generous slaves, many stipulate that there is no commitment on her part, and that men are nothing more than animals to be abused. I do not know if that is generally the case, as I only search Canadian profiles.

Male Doms, when I have searched out of morbid curiousity, do not seem to display this at all.

I think this has to do with many men being in it for a fantasy, and are willing to either actually pay these women, or just communicate with them for long enough that the woman thinks her strategy is successful.

Perhaps it has to do with the fact that there are so many male subs out there than Dommes, so any Domme can get replies, no matter what her conditions.

I would like to add that, with the exception of the ProDommes that post here, none of these Dommes that seek generous slaves show up and post here.

A few disclaimers:
I have nothing against ProDommes on this site, and many have made excellent contributions to the boards.
I have said nothing about who is real or fake. Whatever floats your boat.
Not all men think with their little heads, and not all women want generous slaves.
These are general statements, not geared at anyone, and not meant to offend anyone, they are just my opinions and observations.

Yours,

benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 8

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/11/2006 8:08:08 PM

TopDominant

Posts: 15
Joined: 8/25/2005
Status: offline

spank, you are absolutely right on the "money" (so to speak), and yes it is a double standard. But life is full of double standards, and more sub guys seem to ask for this kind of treatment than do the girls. Aint love grand?

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 9

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/11/2006 8:09:11 PM

orfunboi

Posts: 1223
Joined: 10/22/2005
Status: offline

i have seen a lot of Fem Dommes (not the majority by a long margin) online praising the whole female supremacy thing, but very little of it in the real world. i personally don't see that your gender has anything to do with how superior you are, but everyone has an opinion.

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 10

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/11/2006 8:21:32 PM

LadyMorgynn

Posts: 800
Joined: 11/25/2005
From: N. Carolina
Status: offline

You aren't talking about me, that's for sure. I don't subscribe to females being "naturally" superior (nor any gender, or race, or religion, etc.). And I would never have a sub... male OR female, for whom I did not care for greatly, and feel affection for to the point of possessive/protectiveness.

You also have to realize... what you mention in the OP is frequently what submissive males WANT. Many, many want to be objectified and used and humiliated and treated as worthless dirtbags (and to be called worthless dirtbags, too). They want the Domme to feel distain for them. I get emails from these guys all the time... usually the ones who have not read my profile, and as soon as they do they lose interest. Naturally, of course, I tend not to read Domme or Dom or female submissive profiles, so I don't know what's out there, but I've read a lot of male sub profiles, and the overwhelming majority are of the "Do Me" type, that encompasses most of the kinds of things you are speaking of.

Granted, the dynamics of Master/f. slave relationship seem to me to be much, much different than those of Mistress/m. slave relationships. They are not the same thing but in reverse at all. I've been thinking for awhile this would make an interesting thread :)

quote:

ORIGINAL: spankmepink11

This post in regards to the difference in attitude and demeanor of Male and Female Dominants. If this has been covered in a previous thread...i apologize...but since i've been reading the forums it's brought to the forefront of my mind...the major differences i see in the Male and Female points of view.
I've observed, and please....this is not an attack on anyone, that most Female dominants seem to subscribe to the premise of females being a supierior being, and tend to have a general sense of disdain for the males in general....to the point of cruelty....but...if involved with a woman.....the dynamic is more along the lines of the way a Male dominant will treat His female........there just seems to more of an underlying nurturing....and concern for ones well being in the Male Dom/female sub relationship.
I was really just curious if this is something others have noticed....and hope no one takes personal offense...I've always wanted other s opinions and input on this particular topic.
thanks....

_____________________________

---
Lady Morgynn
www.farhorizons.net/LadyMorgynn

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 11

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/11/2006 8:29:49 PM

MadamShy

Posts: 173
Joined: 3/21/2006
Status: offline

female supremacy

riiiiiiiight ... i've seen females drive SUV's...

as I tell half joking to My pets/slaves/submissives ... I don't belive in female supremacy for I will accept a woman kneeling infront of Me as much as any Male .. naw no female supremacy .. Just Me supremacy ... LOL ..

it has always been a great ice breaker and source of laugh when things get too serious...

My true belief's ..
No one is Better than anyone else .. some are just Better off...

Love all for who they are Not who you want them to be ...

the strictness is all part of BDSM play ... under the sadist is love .. no collar may be given without some sort of relationship ... and most relationships have caring ...

_____________________________

Madam Shy
Head Domina
Bitch of Club Hell
Providence RI

(in reply to LadyMorgynn)

Post #: 12

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/11/2006 8:38:53 PM

UtopianRanger

Posts: 3251
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyJulieAnn

Most of the Dommes I've seen posting in the forums are very nurturing (but can be cruel as well), love males, and don't subscribe to female supremacy. I am included in this group.

Be well,
Julie

I'm down with Julie....

The ladies I have met here have been kind, understanding and very loving and respectful of men. There's always one or two who consider men to be dogs, but then consider the source

.

- R

< Message edited by UtopianRanger -- 4/11/2006 8:40:31 PM >

_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton

(in reply to LadyJulieAnn)

Post #: 13

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/11/2006 8:45:00 PM

fergus

Posts: 1110
Joined: 6/22/2005
Status: offline

Wait .... the posts on this thread seem to imply that men and women are ....

.... different?

Has anyone told the media?

Viva le Differance!

fergus

(in reply to UtopianRanger)

Post #: 14

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/11/2006 8:47:25 PM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: spankmepink11

This post in regards to the difference in attitude and demeanor of Male and Female Dominants. If this has been covered in a previous thread...i apologize...but since i've been reading the forums it's brought to the forefront of my mind...the major differences i see in the Male and Female points of view.
I've observed, and please....this is not an attack on anyone, that most Female dominants seem to subscribe to the premise of females being a supierior being, and tend to have a general sense of disdain for the males in general....to the point of cruelty....but...if involved with a woman.....the dynamic is more along the lines of the way a Male dominant will treat His female........there just seems to more of an underlying nurturing....and concern for ones well being in the Male Dom/female sub relationship.
I was really just curious if this is something others have noticed....and hope no one takes personal offense...I've always wanted other s opinions and input on this particular topic.
thanks....

The more enlightened FEMDOMs I follow here know how to maintain LT relationships. These ladies know the difference between theory and practice, fantasy & reality, and they know making a relationship work requires flexibility, understanding, and investment from their end. I would say in large measure, this group sets the general tone of the CMMB.

As everywhere, there are enlighted and unenlightened groups, and the same is true of CM.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 4/11/2006 9:04:26 PM >

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 15

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/11/2006 8:49:23 PM

MadamShy

Posts: 173
Joined: 3/21/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: fergus

Wait .... the posts on this thread seem to imply that men and women are ....

.... different?

Has anyone told the media?

Viva le Differance!

fergus

ok ok ... Men ain't so great at driving the Big SUV's also ... Stupid Utility Vehicles...

oOPS .. Well when I drive a Miata there hard to see around ...

and Woman and Man are the same ... damn who Cut off My dangly Bits then!!!!!

and where did your boobs go ..

-gets serious-

naw My post groups them kinda together in final belief area that I posted after getting serious...

[[also been in LT 24/7 live in relationship with My pet for over 3 years]

< Message edited by MadamShy -- 4/11/2006 8:51:26 PM >

_____________________________

Madam Shy
Head Domina
Bitch of Club Hell
Providence RI

(in reply to fergus)

Post #: 16

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/11/2006 9:04:29 PM

BlkTallFullfig

Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: spankmepink11
This post in regards to the difference in attitude and demeanor of Male and Female Dominants. If this has been covered in a previous thread...i apologize...but since i've been reading the forums it's brought to the forefront of my mind...the major differences i see in the Male and Female points of view.
I've observed, and please....this is not an attack on anyone, that most Female dominants seem to subscribe to the premise of females being a supierior being, and tend to have a general sense of disdain for the males in general....to the point of cruelty....but...if involved with a woman.....the dynamic is more along the lines of the way a Male dominant will treat His female........there just seems to more of an underlying nurturing....and concern for ones well being in the Male Dom/female sub relationship.
I was really just curious if this is something others have noticed....and hope no one takes personal offense...I've always wanted other s opinions and input on this particular topic.

I have not noticed this, but I could be wrong. I know there are women who dominate men not from a loving place, just as there are men who submit to women not from a loving place (the type I hope to always avoid).
I've read a few men on the boards (sub and dom) that seem to harbor a good amount of hate/disdain/resentment for women even though they seek relationships with women, but that impression is from a minority not majority of the participants.

I will say that maybe you've noticed some posturing when specific kinks are being discussed, or posturing in profiles because people respond to that. I've been told on more than a few occasions that I'm too nice to be a mistress, and certainly too nice to treat a slave the way he deserves (usually with a description of how I should dom/master him). M

< Message edited by BlkTallFullfig -- 4/11/2006 9:30:04 PM >

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 17

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/11/2006 9:21:13 PM

NeedToUseYou

Posts: 2297
Joined: 12/24/2005
From: None of your business
Status: offline

Actually I was going to post a similiar thread a couple days ago, after for the first time really looking at the ask a mistress threads. The difference seems to be most of the domme threads are not about a mutual relationship, as in I as a domme help my sub grow through there submission, but rather, I as a domme am just served and gain pleasure from my sub, end of story. Usually from such thrilling things as slapping them in public and humiliation in general. Seems a lively topic as to whether a man that won't suck another man off is even worth being a sub. Anyway, it neither concerns or do I think it should change really but there is a obvious difference in the threads between the Male Dominants thread, and the Females. But the difference is obviously there. It seems demeaning a male sub is celebrated as a general rule for the domme threads, whereas the theme of the Dom threads seems to be the Dom/Sub growing together.

Feel free to disagree, but just look at the thread history and it's apparent. This is not to imply Male Doms don't take the same stances sometimes but the proportions are definitely different. Probably best to ignore newly created threads though as they were probably created after this one and thus wouldn't be a good impartial guage.

Go look. Draw your own conclusions.

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 18

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/11/2006 9:30:29 PM

SoulfulSadism

Posts: 53
Joined: 9/3/2005
Status: offline

Based on general impressions - not informed opinions - you are on the money. Have often heard male subs moan in chat how lowly being a male sub is; most dommes seem to be concentrating on offering nothing but 'show me you are worthy'. Of course there are exceptions , but in general - the more-men-than-women gives women the 'advantage'.

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 19

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/11/2006 9:41:12 PM

SweetDommes

Posts: 3313
Joined: 10/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: MHOO314

I do not believe in Supremacy, I believe in Dominance and that to Me is gender neutral.

Same here. And I think I can safely say (based on posts of others on the topic) that of the 20 or so that post regularly, only maybe 3 actually believe in Female Supremacy - and none of them are of the "men are worms" variety ... even the FS practitioners here don't act like males are worthless.

(in reply to MHOO314)

Post #: 20

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