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RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/12/2006 8:39:51 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: NeedToUseYou

Actually I was going to post a similiar thread a couple days ago, after for the first time really looking at the ask a mistress threads. The difference seems to be most of the domme threads are not about a mutual relationship, as in I as a domme help my sub grow through there submission, but rather, I as a domme am just served and gain pleasure from my sub, end of story. Usually from such thrilling things as slapping them in public and humiliation in general. Seems a lively topic as to whether a man that won't suck another man off is even worth being a sub. Anyway, it neither concerns or do I think it should change really but there is a obvious difference in the threads between the Male Dominants thread, and the Females. But the difference is obviously there. It seems demeaning a male sub is celebrated as a general rule for the domme threads, whereas the theme of the Dom threads seems to be the Dom/Sub growing together.

Feel free to disagree, but just look at the thread history and it's apparent. This is not to imply Male Doms don't take the same stances sometimes but the proportions are definitely different. Probably best to ignore newly created threads though as they were probably created after this one and thus wouldn't be a good impartial guage.

Go look. Draw your own conclusions.

There are indeed these topics on the Mistress forum but I note that most of them are started by men, self-identified submissive men or slaves.

They are probably either looking for confirmation that what they want or do is ok OR looking for fantasy materials. I think most people respond to such threads when they agree or have an experience to share which relates to the OP.

Whether or not actions (such as slapping in public since that is mentioned above) has anything to do with ideas of supremacy is very debateable. The reasons behind the actions and how they make the people involved feel is more revealing I think.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to NeedToUseYou)

Post #: 41

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/12/2006 8:45:40 AM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyKim

A lioness will actually force her body to miscarry a cub of an alpha lion that has been defeated and kill any young cups sired by that dethroned alpha in order to prevent those genes which are now inferior to someone elses from being passed on to future generations. Her body will also immediately go into heat in order to mate with the new alpha with the superior genetic material.

Really?

I saw a study, last week I believe, on one of the science channels that said genetic testing shows that lower ranking males in lion pride pass on more of their genes than the so-called alpha. He's too busy defending his position and screaming at pass game to be mating as often as the females in the group require.

Perhaps you are talking about the alpha female in the group?

I don't know, I just recall seeing it and thinking it was funny that the 'head lion' wasn't getting as much action as we'd like to think. Of course people also used to think that the alpha males in a pride did all the hunting too and that turned out to be incorrect once folks started observing the dynamics of the group. He often doesn't even get first pick of the kill or has to force his way to the kill, getting through hungry cubs and other pack members.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to LadyKim)

Post #: 42

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/12/2006 8:51:47 AM

caitlyn

Posts: 3473
Joined: 12/22/2004
Status: offline

I don't know if there is a real difference between male and female dominants. None of us do, as none of us could ever have a sample group large enough to support that statement (except perhaps John Warren ).

People tend to be individuals, and individuals tend to defy categorization, while at the same time, want to categorize everything. Imagine that.

From my own observation ... the female dominants on this board tend to be much more tactful on the whole. I give the female dominants about a 5% blowhard rating, when on any given day, you can get up to 50% with the males. (Don't flame, it's a joke!)

(in reply to spankmepink11)

Post #: 43

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/12/2006 9:26:03 AM

PrinceSitri

Posts: 99
Joined: 3/28/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos

quote:

ORIGINAL: PrinceSitri

The female supremacists I've actually known are no less nurturing towards their subs than anyone else. We are - after all - dealing with fantasy here and - sociopaths aside (and they are thankfully very rare) - underneath the fantasy they're just human beings with a full complement of human desires and emotions.

I agree, though I should say not everyone considers what they do strictly a fantasy. With many it is a very real way of life. I include myself in that area.

Well, I'm all for making the fantasy as real as possible, but short of changes in the law to give legal status to slave contracts (something I would vehemently oppose) it will still ultimately be a fantasy.

_____________________________

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
Albert Einstein

(in reply to amayos)

Post #: 44

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/12/2006 11:38:05 AM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

It might not be a big deal (or one CM has time or whatever resources would be needed right now to do anything about, and I am so grateful these boards in general).

The idea that male preferences - in general - deserve just as much "space" as female preferences in terms of any interest list is one that sounds very valid to me. It occurred to me that maybe CM feels 'bridging that territory' has already been covered by devoting a separate category to the Gorean world? But perhaps that was done because Gor seems to be so popular with some of the members here it's been 'deemed' a subculture on its own.

My question:* What kinds of activity would anyone like to see added to an interest list of this nature? I am completely sincere in asking this.

I am just plain curious (if anyone out there has time or the inclination to just let their imaginations roll, even if they think a suggestion might "sound silly" (some areas of inquiry can just never get weird enough for me, I guess). I am very tired just now (which of course is nobody else's problem but - my creative juices are not flowing particularly well just now, or I'd try to list a few). - Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 4/12/2006 12:21:12 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to NeedToUseYou)

Post #: 45

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/12/2006 12:55:04 PM

cloudboy

Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos

... I should say not everyone considers what they do strictly a fantasy. With many it is a very real way of life. I include myself in that area.

My Mistress and I are delighted that you included yourself in the real world and real life side of things. You see, when we drive to NH we want to feel that you are out there instead of just lurking in our imaginations like some fictional character or Leonard Nimoy "Sasquach" figure.

BTW, she likes your profile b/c your pictures are so artsy and you're so definitive about where you stand. I thought if we ever had breakfast together you'd be a pancakes man, although you'd probably call them flapjacks.

(in reply to amayos)

Post #: 46

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/12/2006 2:04:40 PM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy
My Mistress and I are delighted that you included yourself in the real world and real life side of things. You see, when we drive to NH we want to feel that you are out there instead of just lurking in our imaginations like some fictional character or Leonard Nimoy "Sasquach" figure.

BTW, she likes your profile b/c your pictures are so artsy and you're so definitive about where you stand. I thought if we ever had breakfast together you'd be a pancakes man, although you'd probably call them flapjacks. [/color]

My dear, dear cloudboy, you should know by now that I am a connoisseur of red meat—even in the morning.

By the way, please do forward my appreciation for her compliments. She is obviously a tremendously bright woman to have captured your devotion and respect, and I am sincerely flattered.

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 47

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/12/2006 2:04:49 PM

SusanofO

Posts: 5672
Joined: 12/19/2005
Status: offline

Ha! I liked amayos' pics. Think they are very "artsy." I like black and white photography and the body painting, and I've also seen his art on a website that he listed here a few weeks ago that shows his "creepy art." I liked that too. I like your pic too, Cloudboy (even if it is an avatar, I wish I lived closer to a beach. I feel so 'land-locked' here in Nebraska). The pic I really like is my pic (he). I also like biscuits and gravy (with extra cheese and a glass of milk - it's one of my my favorite Sunday a.m. breakfast treats (and realize that can't be everyone's "cup of tea").

More than one person reiterated his comment (well okay, me and NEEDTOUSEYOU. And me again. That's three). I used to do market research-not that that is necessarily relevant. I honestly think it's a well-taken point- just how does any subset of any larger culture, get itself more fully recognized? Or one that might even be thinking it deserves more recognition? Listing ideas for a "male superiority" interest list might not make big waves or ever even get off the ground here on CM, (and I am truly not much of an activist and more of simply an 'inquiring type'). But - even if it never ever does, I still think it's kinda interesting to think about. The "Stonewall Riot" took place in 1969, and I think it was still about 20 years (after the Aids crisis got more publicity, thanks in no small way to Elizabeth Taylor starting AMFAR, my opinion only) before more of the general public took notice on a scale that increased funding in any major way for more research - and predjudice against them has (I think) eroded, and now (hopefully) many more poeple realize it isn't just homosexual men who contract that disease (right now it seems to be half of Africa) and there's much more funding to combat it in that country than there was even 5 years ago. How did that happen (wow I am listening to myself and I can sound like such a Girl Scout. Okay with me...). Anyway -

My sister is an attorney and there is another in her office building who advertises specifically as advocating "father's rights" (vs. traditional 'mother's rights) as far a trying to help clients gain child custody - simply because there's a niche he saw that needed filling - my sister thinks it's horse patootie - but she is a "traditionalist" in that particular way. I am not arguing for one or the other to be more (or less)successful - I am saying they may have a point when they say they want an equal opportunity to be successful as far as being heard. And the guy is having some real success getting clients, no matter what one thinks of his premise.

My point is simply: Somebody started a "snowball rolling" (not that that is what I am trying to do here. And regardless of whether this one "freezes in hell" - or not -even if nobody fleshes that idea out more; I think some of the writing people do here makes a definite impact. Not a 'bad' thing.
- Susan

< Message edited by SusanofO -- 4/12/2006 2:59:41 PM >

_____________________________

"Hope is the thing with feathers,
That perches in the soul,
And sings the tune without the words,
And never stops at all". - Emily Dickinson

(in reply to cloudboy)

Post #: 48

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/12/2006 2:34:38 PM

spankmepink11

Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline

I'd like to thank you all for your input....and insights. If i could just clarify one point. While i did state that the Forums encouraged me to post on this subject, It is through my experiences on other sites, chatrooms... and in real time settings....be it a munch...or play party, that this question was first raised in my mind..... My foray into the forums is far too recent for me to form a generalized opinion of anyone. And to the Dommes......i appreciate the fact that instead of taking offense ...You all offered insights into Your individual personalities.

(in reply to LadyKim)

Post #: 49

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/12/2006 2:54:28 PM

LadyKim

Posts: 191
Joined: 11/11/2004
Status: offline

thetammyjo,

No, I was speaking of the alpha male lion. I never said that the alpha male was the only male allowed to breed in the pride. I was talking about what happenes once an alpha is defeated and no long viewed as the superior gene pool. My information comes from discussions I have had with a friend of mine who holds a PhD in Zoology and another with a PhD in Psychology with an insatiable interest in evolution ......... and sexual evolution in particular.

Considering there is only one alpha male in a pride, it is not surprising that there would be more offspring from the vast number of lesser males (several of whom are the offspring of the alpha and thus have very similar genetic makeup). Think about it, five to ten can accomplish much more than just one.

(in reply to thetammyjo)

Post #: 50

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/12/2006 2:59:59 PM

DelightMachine

Posts: 652
Joined: 1/21/2006
Status: offline

I think Lady Kim made a lot of great points.

Profiles and other ways that we present ourselves to the world aren't just expressions of who we are. I think they also reflect what we believe will appeal to the people we want to attract. A Dominant who gets the idea from a lot of submissives that they're looking for a hard or nasty bitch may decide that's the way she wants to appear or maybe even that's the way she wants to be.

Maybe a nasty-bitch orientation succeeds in getting a lot of subs, or maybe it's a dead end that doesn't get anyone what they really want. I don't know. There does seem to be an interest in it.

By the same token, it wouldn't surprise me if male Dominants succeed better in attracting female submissives when they present themselves as caring and gentle. I'm not saying that they're not, just that it's probably a smart marketing move and therefore the profiles may be reflecting that. You can't expect people not to act in their self interest, although, like female Dominants, a large proportion of the men would present themselves the way they see themselves.

Actually, I've always suspected that men were harder Dominants than females, but that's just a prejudice of mine.

I don't know much about gay BDSM, but I would expect the Dominants in that whole subculture to be harsher and lesbian Dominants to be softer because in each case the strategy would work better in connecting with submissives. When I get some time, maybe I'll check out the profiles here and see if that's the case.

_____________________________

I'd rather be in
Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg

(in reply to LadyKim)

Post #: 51

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/12/2006 3:04:29 PM

DelightMachine

Posts: 652
Joined: 1/21/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cloudz

I am glad to see you used the word most, but sweeping stereotypes still make me cringe. I do not hold any male in disdain...certainly not my sub. I would describe myself as quite cruel and quite sadistic.. so I am a nurturing sadists...if we are searchiung for labels?

She's VERY loving, folks. I haven't seen much of the sadistic side ... yet.

_____________________________

I'd rather be in
Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg

(in reply to Cloudz)

Post #: 52

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/12/2006 3:05:10 PM

LadyKim

Posts: 191
Joined: 11/11/2004
Status: offline

TeeGo and MistressAerin........... thank you.

(in reply to amayos)

Post #: 53

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/12/2006 3:17:52 PM

Cloudz

Posts: 836
Joined: 9/13/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DelightMachine

quote:

ORIGINAL: Cloudz

I am glad to see you used the word most, but sweeping stereotypes still make me cringe. I do not hold any male in disdain...certainly not my sub. I would describe myself as quite cruel and quite sadistic.. so I am a nurturing sadists...if we are searchiung for labels?

She's VERY loving, folks. I haven't seen much of the sadistic side ... yet.

Ah, I see that blindfold is still working <grin>

_____________________________

Enjoy the Journey,
~Cloudz

"Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain."

(in reply to DelightMachine)

Post #: 54

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/12/2006 4:19:42 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

Maybe they should have a male supremacy and a female supremacy forums both -- then those of us on "ask the master" and "ask the mistress" who didn't agree with the philosophy wouldn't be getting in the faces of those who do?

Not that I actively try to get into faces.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SusanofO

It might not be a big deal (or one CM has time or whatever resources would be needed right now to do anything about, and I am so grateful these boards in general).

The idea that male preferences - in general - deserve just as much "space" as female preferences in terms of any interest list is one that sounds very valid to me. It occurred to me that maybe CM feels 'bridging that territory' has already been covered by devoting a separate category to the Gorean world? But perhaps that was done because Gor seems to be so popular with some of the members here it's been 'deemed' a subculture on its own.

My question:* What kinds of activity would anyone like to see added to an interest list of this nature? I am completely sincere in asking this.

I am just plain curious (if anyone out there has time or the inclination to just let their imaginations roll, even if they think a suggestion might "sound silly" (some areas of inquiry can just never get weird enough for me, I guess). I am very tired just now (which of course is nobody else's problem but - my creative juices are not flowing particularly well just now, or I'd try to list a few). - Susan

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to SusanofO)

Post #: 55

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/12/2006 4:21:16 PM

thetammyjo

Posts: 6322
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyKim

thetammyjo,

No, I was speaking of the alpha male lion. I never said that the alpha male was the only male allowed to breed in the pride. I was talking about what happenes once an alpha is defeated and no long viewed as the superior gene pool. My information comes from discussions I have had with a friend of mine who holds a PhD in Zoology and another with a PhD in Psychology with an insatiable interest in evolution ......... and sexual evolution in particular.

Considering there is only one alpha male in a pride, it is not surprising that there would be more offspring from the vast number of lesser males (several of whom are the offspring of the alpha and thus have very similar genetic makeup). Think about it, five to ten can accomplish much more than just one.

I meant that the alpha female is the one who kills and aborts sponstanteously... She'd have the most to gain or lose I'd think.

_____________________________

Love, Peace, Hugs, Kisses, Whips & Chains,

TammyJo

Check out my website at http://www.thetammyjo.com Or www.tammyjoeckhart.com

And my LJ where I post fiction in progress if you "friend" me at http://thetammyjo.livejournal.com/

(in reply to LadyKim)

Post #: 56

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/12/2006 6:12:01 PM

amayos

Posts: 1553
Joined: 6/2/2004
From: New England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PrinceSitri
Well, I'm all for making the fantasy as real as possible, but short of changes in the law to give legal status to slave contracts (something I would vehemently oppose) it will still ultimately be a fantasy.

If law dictated you not be a Pagan, would that make your ways less real?

(in reply to PrinceSitri)

Post #: 57

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/12/2006 6:34:12 PM

PrinceSitri

Posts: 99
Joined: 3/28/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: amayos

quote:

ORIGINAL: PrinceSitri
Well, I'm all for making the fantasy as real as possible, but short of changes in the law to give legal status to slave contracts (something I would vehemently oppose) it will still ultimately be a fantasy.

If law dictated you not be a Pagan, would that make your ways less real?

No, but it's an inexact analogy. The fact remains that if your 'slave' gets sufficiently pissed off with you s/he can simply walk out of the door and there is absolutely nothing you can do to prevent it or undo it (short of begging for another chance); what occurs between you obviously has an emotional reality but it is one which falls short of total possession of one by the other

_____________________________

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
Albert Einstein

(in reply to amayos)

Post #: 58

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/12/2006 6:52:52 PM

ExistentialSteel

Posts: 676
Joined: 1/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PrinceSitri
No, but it's an inexact analogy. The fact remains that if your 'slave' gets sufficiently pissed off with you s/he can simply walk out of the door and there is absolutely nothing you can do to prevent it or undo it (short of begging for another chance); what occurs between you obviously has an emotional reality but it is one which falls short of total possession of one by the other

Total possession of someone does not require a law.

_____________________________

For those who are like Roman Candles leaving bright trails in the night sky while the crowd watches until the dark blue center light bursts into magnificent colors and the crowd goes, ahhhhhhhhhh.

(in reply to PrinceSitri)

Post #: 59

RE: Male vs Female Dominants...is it just me? - 4/12/2006 7:05:02 PM

PrinceSitri

Posts: 99
Joined: 3/28/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: ExistentialSteel

quote:

ORIGINAL: PrinceSitri
No, but it's an inexact analogy. The fact remains that if your 'slave' gets sufficiently pissed off with you s/he can simply walk out of the door and there is absolutely nothing you can do to prevent it or undo it (short of begging for another chance); what occurs between you obviously has an emotional reality but it is one which falls short of total possession of one by the other

Total possession of someone does not require a law.

Possibly not, and I bear it in mind as a desirable goal. It would require total knowledge of the other, however, and I can't see that as a practical possibility.

_____________________________

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."
Albert Einstein

(in reply to ExistentialSteel)

Post #: 60

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