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RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out - 6/13/2010 7:34:02 PM   
AQuietSimpleMan


Posts: 1410
Joined: 11/15/2009
Status: offline 		I want to offer you this as simple as possible.

If you knew someone who was asking you if they shoud do the exact same thing you are planning on doing what would you tell them to do?

Cause if it is move out then I am SO GLAD I am not your friend. cause well lets get something straight here did it ever occur to you that this guy is taking one huge ass responsibility and you have NO idea what he is expecting in return for this.

Feeding, Housing, and Taking care of another person is not as easy and cheap as you may think. Why is he so willing to take on that responsibility?

I know you are getting a lot of bad press on this but well it's cause you are being immature.

Talk to your parents as adults and tell them what your issues are. 9 years isn't a lot but it is enough to put this in the perv fantasy realm, do you really know what he is interested in?

So you know his parents name?
You know his middle name?
How many childhood friends he still has today?
His Favorite Restraunt?
Favorite meal?
Favorite Song?
Where he went to Highschool?
If he has been arrested before?
What he was arrested for?
If he does drugs?
If he likes to share his submissives?
If he plans on whoreing you out to pay the bills?

If you know all these things then well you did some gerious get to know you, if not then how much else don't you know about this person and are you willing to put your life and all responsibility over you into their hands?

It just sounds like a child stamping their feet and threatening to run away if they don't get their way.

Steel

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Profile   Post #: 21
RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out - 6/13/2010 7:35:15 PM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline 		I come down on the Mercnbeth side here. I'm a parent (who has been illegally blocked my an ex wife from seeing my son , now 16, since 2001. This not withstanding, I would and will support my offspring no matter what (with in reason and with the exception of drug use where I will still support and remove the drug supply). I do base this on my own experiences.

My late Mother, bless her, was absolutely mortified when I resigned my commission in the Australian SAS (The best of the Best), and believed I had screwed my social advancement chances. Mind you she would have had the vapours if I dated a girl below my social status too. However I told her what I tell you now and I quote:

"Mother if you love me you will allow me to make my own choices and stop trying to live my life for me. If you do love me you will give me your suppoet and blessings and stand by to pick up any pieces from mistakes I will make. If you can not do this, you do not love me for me but want to clone me for your own social aspirations, at which stage I shall mave no option but to leave and make my own way without family support." 

There was silence after which my father applauded. My Mother left the room and refused to see me off the next day when I flew out for the US and Fort Brag to accept a commission in the US Army SF. I saw her again when I came home from ther US after I completed a 5 year stint in 'Nam as a commissioned officer (SF), at the funeral of my late Father. I know he kept her up to date with my doings over seas and a close family friend talked to her briefing her of my promotions and decorations. She never acknowledged my choices after than and made a point of keeping my kid brother apart from me until she dies when I met him for the first time in over 20 years.

My point is lass, you make your own choices even if you choose a harder road. Opportunities do arise to finish your education and live on your own terms. When Neets and I started our relationship she was a 22 year old virgin and I was 30 years her senior. her parents were not happy. I told them that we were getting engaged and they had but two choices.....Accept our relationship and gain a son in law or loose a daughter (and miss the wedding). The counter offer was to have a two year engagement (we had already decided on that) and they would pay for the wedding provided Neet's older sister (Neets and I can't stand her) was invited to the wedding.. Ity all worked out famously. In my book and in my experience, many 18 year olds are old enough, ugly enough and smart enough to move out and spread their wings, make their mistakes and build a jolly good life. Some parents bow to the inevitable and allow their kids to do just that (as long they don muzzels or ball gags so as not to spew poision nevery chance).


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(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out - 6/13/2010 7:37:22 PM   
SimplyMichael


Posts: 7229
Joined: 1/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

this slave votes for the move out option!!! spread your wings, rock your world and all that nonsense!!!

perhaps when you have to move back in with your parents, you will appreciate them and what they provide for you a LOT more.




Chooo Chooo, chuga chuga Choo Choo.....

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out - 6/13/2010 7:46:02 PM   
PeanutTigerinBox


Posts: 1624
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
Unfortunately, in my experience, when a young woman is thinking the way that you are, they do grow up, the VERY HARD WAY.


The good news, if he ends up being an abusive prick, your mom and dad will take you back because they love you.


agree to first part...am living evidence of that one though wouldnt put my hand into fire on the second paragraph out of my experience (though slightly different situation and yes I moved back in but gosh I made sure to get out there again as fast as possible and it included losses).

Be careful to overrun events like that


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Profile   Post #: 24
RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out - 6/13/2010 7:47:17 PM   
domiguy


Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

However I told her what I tell you now and I quote:

"Mother if you love me you will allow me to make my own choices and stop trying to live my life for me. If you do love me you will give me your suppoet and blessings and stand by to pick up any pieces from mistakes I will make. If you can not do this, you do not love me for me but want to clone me for your own social aspirations, at which stage I shall mave no option but to leave and make my own way without family support." 




This is just plain old God awful advice.....This should be hung up and used as the ode of the enabler.


A real parent says we have provided you with the best that we could give....You make a mistake when you go against our wishes....You clean up the mess.

That is how adults are created.

I would have also shot my daughter.

< Message edited by domiguy -- 6/13/2010 7:48:26 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 25
RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out - 6/13/2010 7:54:56 PM   
DomImus


Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline 		I gotta call my 18 year old daughter tomorrow morning and tell her how much I love her (I do that all the time) and thank her for having such a good head on her shoulders. Thank you for the glaring reminder of what the alternate could look like.




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(in reply to Glasgow)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out - 6/13/2010 7:58:01 PM   
marie2


Posts: 1690
Joined: 11/4/2008
From: Jersey
Status: offline 		Is this the guy that you just met yesterday for coffee?

(in reply to Glasgow)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out - 6/13/2010 8:02:30 PM   
MissSepphora1


Posts: 669
Joined: 1/11/2008
Status: offline 		he's building a poly household? wow... thats a lot to take in for an 18 year old woman. are you ready for that?

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Profile   Post #: 28
RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out - 6/13/2010 8:07:42 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		uumm...does this guy know that you expect him to pay for your college??

I mean what exactly have you told him?

You may be in for a rude awakening.

(in reply to MissSepphora1)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out - 6/13/2010 8:13:16 PM   
girlygurl


Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Glasgow

quote:

ORIGINAL: girlygurl

One question. Why in the hell would you want to move in with a guy you've only known for "about a week" ?





Because I'm young, stupid, and tired of living at home.



Young and tired of living at home I buy. Stupid? Naw, you don't sound stupid at all. I say find another way to find your independence from your parents... shooting oneself in the foot may result in a limp

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(in reply to Glasgow)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out - 6/13/2010 8:16:13 PM   
Andalusite


Posts: 2492
Joined: 1/25/2009
Status: offline 		If you want to be independent, then making yourself completely dependent on someone you don't know probably isn't a good step along the way. Yes, you can get your education later, but it's tough to work full time while carrying a course load. I'd suggest focusing on school, and not telling your parents the next time you go on a date. Find a different safe call!

(in reply to girlygurl)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out - 6/13/2010 8:29:00 PM   
Firebirdseeking


Posts: 477
Joined: 9/3/2006
Status: offline 		I think this is what young people call "hooking up".  Let's take a cold look at this.  he will be providing you a home (although you have one, albeit one you are "tired" of)...what do you think you will be providing HIM?  You want be a young, foolish teenager who is providing sex for a guy 9 years your senior in exchange for a place to live?  I understand there are people who are desperate but you arent one of them.  You have known this guy a week.  You dont move in with someone you have only known a week.  That's plain dumb. 

(in reply to Glasgow)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out - 6/13/2010 8:30:08 PM   
Firebirdseeking


Posts: 477
Joined: 9/3/2006
Status: offline 		PS  You need better decision making skills.

(in reply to Glasgow)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out - 6/13/2010 8:30:14 PM   
KyttynTheMynx


Posts: 4880
Joined: 5/10/2006
From: Moosecrotch, Va
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Glasgow

Eh, quite honestly, I don't know if they'll force the choice. But I'm a big kid, dammit! I WANT TO BE ABLE TO DO WHAT I WANT!!! *grrr*



Well, then act like it. An attitude like the one above would lead me to believe that you need mommy and daddy's guidance for just a little bit longer. Seriously? Moving out with no financial plans is HARD. I know. I did it for a year at 16-17. Depending on others sucks MAJOR ass when you want money to go out, or do xyz thing.

Is this man REALLY worth you not finishing your education if he doesnt pay for it, and on the off chance that your parents wont either? Cuz, man, I would JUMP at the opportunity for my parents to pay for my college education. And if there were stipulations, you bet your sweet bippy I would be toeing the line like a motherfucker.

Stop thinking about "I WANT I WANT I WANT -stomps feet, throws a big baby tizzy-" Stop with the bitching and whining about how you want things to go your way. If life went the way we wanted, when we wanted it, do you think we really would have a need for prayer? Nope.

An adult takes care of what is needed to be done FIRST. Frivolities can wait. Evaluate your life, figure out what goes in which column. Go from there. Good luck.

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(in reply to Glasgow)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out - 6/13/2010 8:35:12 PM   
SocratesNot


Posts: 812
Joined: 5/17/2010
Status: offline
quote:

I WANT TO BE ABLE TO DO WHAT I WANT!!! *grrr*


Well, if you put so much value on your own autonomy and independence, you might reconsider entering in any kind of D/s relationship at all.
D/s is not just about bedroom kink, and knowing that you have no job and no higher education you would likely be totally dependent on him and doing all that he wants even if you were entering a vanilla relationship.
In a D/s relationship in which you are economically dependent, the chances that you will "BE ABLE TO DO WHAT YOU WANT!!!" are quite slim.

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Profile   Post #: 35
RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out - 6/13/2010 8:37:07 PM   
Cherylmazana


Posts: 1152
Joined: 10/4/2007
Status: offline 		I left home after a furious row with my parents over the man I had chosen to be with, I was 16 he was 26, the sex was amazing and I admit I was not thinking with my brain but with my hormones.

I gave up collage and everything else to live with a very dominant and controlling man who for the next 2 years made my life a living hell, doing it very gradually and carefully so each small step just lead into the next and seemed quite natural.

During that time I would have rather torn out my tongue and fried it in butter then ate it rather than admit to my parents they were right whenever things went one step or a huge leap further than I was ready for, and by the time he showed his true colours I was too afraid of him and his actions and threats to protest much at all.

If I had done even the most basic of checks I could have found out from his previous partners exactly what I was letting myself into, but being young, hormonally ruled and very stupid I just went for it. I learned I can survive and adapt to anything that doesn’t kill me, can you though afford to take the same chance just to get an itch scratched?

Cheryl

(in reply to SocratesNot)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out - 6/13/2010 8:42:49 PM   
TheRaptorJesus


Posts: 640
Joined: 6/3/2010
Status: offline 		You have CMail from your reptilian messiah.

Would have been far too hard to convert my thoughts to Raptor-words.

Especially with these tiny arms.


< Message edited by TheRaptorJesus -- 6/13/2010 8:43:23 PM >

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Profile   Post #: 37
RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out - 6/13/2010 8:44:44 PM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline 		fast reply

Glasgow does the guy (wow he started in the scene early) know that he will be financially responsible for you....this includes medical coverage which I assume your parents pay at the moment?

His profile mentions that he was injured and got a medical discharge.... will he require assistance from you?  Is he in pain?  Does he get grouchy when in pain?  How will you cope when he is like this?

Do you know his communication style?  Does it fit in with yours?  How will you both resolve disagreements?  What are your arguing styles?

One thing I would also be asking is why does a 27 year old man want to move an 18 year old woman with no job into his home after knowing her a week?

What will the poly household consist of?  Are you poly? Are you perfectly comfortable with the poly house he is planning?  How will you get on with the other women?

Who will do the cleaning and household chores?  Do you do these at home currently?

And yeah you do come across as a tantrum throwing kid in some of your posts... do a search on sub frenzy

I am all for taking risks in life but I believe in taking calculated risks and weighing up the pros and cons carefully and thinking about the long term impacts of these.  Get an education, get some maturity and get your own money.  Make yourself into someone that brings more to a relationship than just a person to screw ...and yeah I realise that sounds incredibly harsh however what else will you be bringing to this live-in situation (we know it won't be the condoms since you can't afford those)

Let us know what happens and good luck ...I mean that sincerely, you seem like a nice kid and you are at the start of an exciting stage of your life 

< Message edited by wandersalone -- 6/13/2010 8:47:12 PM >

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(in reply to KyttynTheMynx)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out - 6/13/2010 8:51:34 PM   
girlygurl


Posts: 6973
Joined: 8/5/2007
From: in the palms of His hands
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TheRaptorJesus

You have CMail from your reptilian messiah.

Would have been far too hard to convert my thoughts to Raptor-words.

Especially with these tiny arms.



You know what they say about raptors with tiny arms don't you?

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Profile   Post #: 39
RE: My parents do not approve, and might kick me out - 6/13/2010 8:52:51 PM   
TheRaptorJesus


Posts: 640
Joined: 6/3/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: girlygurl


quote:

ORIGINAL: TheRaptorJesus

You have CMail from your reptilian messiah.

Would have been far too hard to convert my thoughts to Raptor-words.

Especially with these tiny arms.



You know what they say about raptors with tiny arms don't you?


The best sex of your pathetic mortal mammalian existence?

Yes, it's true!


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What if your God... were a motherfucking DINOSAUR?!

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Profile   Post #: 40
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