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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/18/2006 4:06:03 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

Did I say too much, why are my posts all so confusing?


It is because you havent got the right spokesperson for the job. James Earl Jones might be available if he isn't busy with his Verizon gig but if he is then I would go with Howie Mandel. You just need a ghostwriter.


I have too much time on my hands, I need something to do. Any suggestions?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 341
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/18/2006 4:20:17 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge
It is because you havent got the right spokesperson for the job. James Earl Jones might be available if he isn't busy with his Verizon gig
I loved his voice so much, I used to dial zero over and over again just to hear him say "welcome to bell atlantic" lol

quote:

I have too much time on my hands, I need something to do. Any suggestions?
Good to hear it's time and nothing else on your hands.
How about joining 2 live crew and send "me love you long time" messages  to all the women you think are hot.  M 

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 342
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/18/2006 8:18:05 PM   
BlkTallFullfig


Posts: 5585
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BlkTallFullfig
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge
It is because you havent got the right spokesperson for the job. James Earl Jones might be available if he isn't busy with his Verizon gig
I loved his voice so much, I used to dial zero over and over again just to hear him say "welcome to bell atlantic" lol

quote:

I have too much time on my hands, I need something to do. Any suggestions?
Good to hear it's time and nothing else on your hands.
How about joining 2 live crew and send "me love you long time" messages  to all the women you think are hot.  M 

Eddited because I didn't continue with asking advice...

I have insomnia, what should I do?

_____________________________

a.k.a. SexyBossyBBW
""Touching was, and still is, and will always be, the true revolution" Nikki Giovanni

(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 343
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/18/2006 9:05:16 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I have insomnia, what should I do?


Call 20 of your closest friends, wake them up, tell them you're in dire need of help, and when they get to your house, ask them how you can get to sleep.  They'll be more than happy to help you with that.
 
I seem to have lost my sense of humor.  Should I offer a reward for its safe return?

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to BlkTallFullfig)
Profile   Post #: 344
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/18/2006 9:57:29 PM   
Takethiswaltz


Posts: 199
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

should i spray paint my old volvo pink?


Of course - all healthy vulva's should be pink especially the undersides and all the nooks and crannies, be sure to shave first! (PS - You should never consider yourself "old" and next time use spell check - I think you spelled vulva wrong.)


Hmm, quite right... so i painted it pink as you suggested, nooks n crannies n all, but when i walk the paint cracks and falls off in peices
--  now what should I do?

_____________________________

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in...

~Leonard Cohen~

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 345
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/18/2006 10:02:56 PM   
Takethiswaltz


Posts: 199
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline
quote:


I seem to have lost my sense of humor.  Should I offer a reward for its safe return?


No I wouldnt bother offering a reward.  People lose their sense of humor all the time;  you should easily be able to find one lying around.

_____________________________

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in...

~Leonard Cohen~

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 346
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/18/2006 10:05:39 PM   
Takethiswaltz


Posts: 199
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		...still wondering what to do about the cracking pink volvo, err, vulva

_____________________________

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in...

~Leonard Cohen~

(in reply to Takethiswaltz)
Profile   Post #: 347
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/18/2006 10:09:31 PM   
Wulfchyld


Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline 		Turtle wax of course. It will restore the pink with a waxy sheen,


I was thinking about electric play with a little sub i dont care too much for. should i use 110 or 220?

(in reply to Takethiswaltz)
Profile   Post #: 348
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/18/2006 10:20:26 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I was thinking about electric play with a little sub i dont care too much for. should i use 110 or 220


Neither. Use 480 volts. Remember, it isn't the volts it's the amps. Combining watersports and electrical play is a wonderful idea and should be explored.


My refrigerator suddenly shuts off totally and I have to shake it to come back on. What can I do to keep this from happening?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Wulfchyld)
Profile   Post #: 349
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/19/2006 6:18:58 AM   
FullCircle


Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline 		Stack the refrigerator on top of the washing machine and keep the washing machine on all day.

I hate my boss my job and the crappy pay what should I do to get my dream job?


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∞ ﮒuקּƹɼ ƾɛϰưϫԼ Ƨωιϯϲћ.

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 350
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/19/2006 8:30:13 AM   
RubberWitch


Posts: 1368
Joined: 7/27/2005
Status: offline 		Go to sleep at work.

Oh, and takethiswaltz, thin even coats.

I've applied for a great job, great money, but The boss, even just hearing him on the phone, is such a pillock. what do I do?

(in reply to FullCircle)
Profile   Post #: 351
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/19/2006 9:14:43 AM   
AngelaK


Posts: 101
Joined: 2/27/2006
Status: offline 		Wear your ipod at work.

I've got a terrible crick in my neck that prevents me from turning my head to the right. With gas prices what they are I can't just make huge circles to the left to drive all my errands and I have things I must do. Any ideas?

_____________________________

AngelaK
_______
When choosing between two evils, I always like to pick the one I never tried before.

Mae West

Spanking is love, and scolding is affection.

Chinese Proverb

(in reply to RubberWitch)
Profile   Post #: 352
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/19/2006 12:35:26 PM   
FullCircle


Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline 		Wear a hat with a mirror stuck out in front of your face so that you can peer up at it to see to the right.

I’ve just finished wall papering one of my rooms and have noticed air bubbles all over the place what can I do the fix this decorating nightmare?

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∞ ﮒuקּƹɼ ƾɛϰưϫԼ Ƨωιϯϲћ.

(in reply to AngelaK)
Profile   Post #: 353
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/19/2006 1:33:55 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I’ve just finished wall papering one of my rooms and have noticed air bubbles all over the place what can I do the fix this decorating nightmare?


Simple. Wall paper the rest of the rooms the same way. Claim it is the latest style and tell your friends you are going to be featured in Better Homes and Gardens.


Two people in my apartment building keep arguing all the time. Is there something that I can do to get them to stop?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to FullCircle)
Profile   Post #: 354
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/19/2006 1:40:58 PM   
RubberWitch


Posts: 1368
Joined: 7/27/2005
Status: offline 		stand outside their door with a microphone for an hour, then put the resulting tape/mp3 on your stereo at full volume, on loop. They should get the message.

C seems to be miserable, but won't tell me whats wrong. how can I gently coax it out of her?

J

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 355
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/19/2006 2:07:39 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

C seems to be miserable, but won't tell me whats wrong. how can I gently coax it out of her?


Got a baseball bat? Insert drywall screws in to the bat and cut off the flat ends. Then swing it around while glaring at her. This should send her the message that you care deeply and want to be a comfort to her.


I want to get out of debt. Any advice?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to RubberWitch)
Profile   Post #: 356
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/19/2006 3:18:38 PM   
puella


Posts: 2457
Joined: 12/2/2004
Status: offline 		Well, you have a couple options.. you can take a needle and puncture each hole and try to smooth the air pocket out... or you can just take the shit down and start over.. as  I don't know the extent of the bubbling.. I have no idea which will take you longer....

But good luck regardless!

(I really am doomed to nerdome, aren't I?)

< Message edited by puella -- 4/19/2006 3:19:36 PM >

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 357
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/19/2006 4:57:06 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

takethiswaltz: ...still wondering what to do about the cracking pink volvo, err, vulva

 
My guess is that you forgot to first sand it down to the metal, spackle, sand, primer coat, then the final pink paint. You can also use a high gloss with metallic flakes. Make sure you buff it out for a nice shine. 

Back to Guage...
quote:

I want to get out of debt. Any advice?

Take on a rich slave and have her assume all your debt, turn over all her assets, and have her set up a  pay website to keep the cash flow going.

A neighbors two trees block my panoramic view of the South Bay of LA.

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 358
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/19/2006 6:54:17 PM   
UtopianRanger


Posts: 3251
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mercnbeth

quote:

takethiswaltz: ...still wondering what to do about the cracking pink volvo, err, vulva

 
My guess is that you forgot to first sand it down to the metal, spackle, sand, primer coat, then the final pink paint. You can also use a high gloss with metallic flakes. Make sure you buff it out for a nice shine. 

Back to Guage...
quote:

I want to get out of debt. Any advice?

Take on a rich slave and have her assume all your debt, turn over all her assets, and have her set up a  pay website to keep the cash flow going.

A neighbors two trees block my panoramic view of the South Bay of LA.


Hire Joe's tree service and have them sawed down.

I have a examine for my math 111 class tomorrow and I haven't studied worth shit. What should I do?


_____________________________

"If you are going to win any battle, you have to do one thing. You have to make the mind run the body. Never let the body tell the mind what to do... the body is never tired if the mind is not tired."

-General George S. Patton


(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 359
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/19/2006 7:00:13 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Answer all the questions in essay form, about how the Russian revolution corresponds to the ironic hyperbole in the Matrix.  That should throw them off...  I know it did me!

My pen exploded when I nuked it.  What can I do to prevent this in the future?

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to UtopianRanger)
Profile   Post #: 360
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