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RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/21/2006 12:56:57 PM   
gooddogbenji


Posts: 5094
Joined: 11/15/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline 		Have it surgically removed.  Surgeons in Romanistan charge about $50 for that operation.

I have a whole stack of clothes I need to wash, but my in suite washer dryer is just too far away.  How do I become less lazy?

Yours,


benji

_____________________________

Prevent global warming. Stop burning patchouli.

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 381
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/21/2006 1:36:21 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I have a whole stack of clothes I need to wash, but my in suite washer dryer is just too far away.  How do I become less lazy?


Glue a rabid badger to your inner thigh by your naughty bits. Nothing says get moving better than a woodland creature gnawing on your willie.

I want to do something with my kids this weekend... any ideas?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to gooddogbenji)
Profile   Post #: 382
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/21/2006 4:10:04 PM   
Mercnbeth


Posts: 11766
Status: offline
quote:

I want to do something with my kids this weekend... any ideas?


Marinade overnight in garlic, oil, and Italian spices, lightly flour. Heat 1/4 inch of olive oil in a deep fry pan, place in fry pan turning once. Serve with fava beans and a nice Chianti.

My son leaves to go back to school Sunday afternoon. What should I do to/with beth first?


(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 383
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/22/2006 12:48:06 AM   
Takethiswaltz


Posts: 199
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		Send him off with a full stomach.  Marinate her overnight in garlic, oil, italian spices. Lightly flour.  Heat 1/4 inch olive oil in fry pan and fry lightly, turning once.  Serve with fava beans and a nice chianti.
(sorry, beth  )
 
My sense of humor seems to be continully lacking in political correctness.  What can I do to get my PC back?

_____________________________

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in...

~Leonard Cohen~

(in reply to Mercnbeth)
Profile   Post #: 384
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/22/2006 12:59:42 AM   
Wulfchyld


Posts: 2618
Joined: 12/7/2005
Status: offline 		I will assume you pawned it. Take the ticket to the pawn shop, load PC in car. Unload PC, carry to house, plug in, hook up… boda boom bada bing.. Your PC is back.
I was thinking about boycotting import fireworks this 4th of July. Would napalm or thermite put on a better show?

_____________________________

Loki, forum god of Mischief

Submission is not a gift... it is plunder!
Where there is a whip, there is a way!
Dom/mes of a feather, beat the f*ck out of slaves together


(in reply to Takethiswaltz)
Profile   Post #: 385
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/22/2006 3:11:04 AM   
RubberWitch


Posts: 1368
Joined: 7/27/2005
Status: offline 		Thermite, though I think chinese fireworks still look pretier
quote...
"I think its stupid not giving Hu Jin Tao a full state visit, just because Bush Disagrees with Human Rights"

anyway...

I'm paying for an 8meg connection, but it seems to peak at about 2. what can I do?

(in reply to Wulfchyld)
Profile   Post #: 386
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/22/2006 3:40:21 AM   
SirNico


Posts: 32
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline 		as far as hanging up a bird feeder, i would definitely opt for a submissive that can stand being upside down for long periods of time and has an affinity for feathers.

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 387
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/22/2006 6:21:13 AM   
Level


Posts: 25145
Joined: 3/3/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RubberWitch

Thermite, though I think chinese fireworks still look pretier
quote...
"I think its stupid not giving Hu Jin Tao a full state visit, just because Bush Disagrees with Human Rights"

anyway...

I'm paying for an 8meg connection, but it seems to peak at about 2. what can I do?


Make it take a nap and give it some viagra.
 
My arm hurts when I do this. Any thoughts?

(in reply to RubberWitch)
Profile   Post #: 388
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/22/2006 10:00:22 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

My arm hurts when I do this. Any thoughts?


Two things will cure this. Either saw your arm off with a McDonalds butter knife or hold your arm in that position until your mind accepts the pain as something normal and it will no longer hurt.


My white undershirts are looking a bit dingy even after they are washed, any thoughts as to how to get them bright white again?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Level)
Profile   Post #: 389
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/22/2006 2:33:44 PM   
MysticFireTopaz


Posts: 50939
Joined: 4/23/2005
From: Dallas/Ft. Worth, TX
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

My white undershirts are looking a bit dingy even after they are washed, any thoughts as to how to get them bright white again?



First, put the undershirt on.  Then have a friend spray snow-white spray paint over the entire surface and let it dry.  The undershirt will positively gleam!  Repeat the process on subsequent days until all of the undershirts are whitened.

I think I have found the perfect man except for one thing--his snoring.  Any advice on how this can be stopped?


(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 390
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/22/2006 2:40:07 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

I think I have found the perfect man except for one thing--his snoring.  Any advice on how this can be stopped?


Snoring is a very serious problem. You might try filling his nostrils and mouth with quick setting cement. How will he breathe? Give him a tracheotomy.


There are some wild cats in my neighborhood. They hang around the garbage dumpster late at night. They shit all over the place and I am getting tired of this. Any suggestions as to what I can do?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to MysticFireTopaz)
Profile   Post #: 391
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/22/2006 7:31:49 PM   
ChainedExistence


Posts: 507
Joined: 2/5/2005
Status: offline 		Bring the garbage dumpster in your house...then they'll have no where to go. Besides, no one will have to take the garbage out for a LONG time!

Someone keeps finishing the last Coke in the house without telling me, and I can't get my morning Coke Fix...what can I do?

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 392
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/22/2006 9:19:55 PM   
knees2you


Posts: 2336
Joined: 3/15/2004
Status: offline 		Poke a small hole in the Bottom of the cans, drain it,
and fill it with Your Golden Nector.
Then plug the hole up with a little paste.

Garunteed to make them stop after one sip!
quote:

 
"Yes I Said It!"


My cat keeps drinking my coffee,
and He's climbing the walls!
what should I do?

Always, Ant

(in reply to ChainedExistence)
Profile   Post #: 393
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/22/2006 9:34:05 PM   
rivenmoon


Posts: 330
Joined: 6/5/2005
Status: offline 		[/quote]

My cat keeps drinking my coffee,
and He's climbing the walls!
what should I do?

Always, Ant

[/quote]

To stop a cat drinking your coffee immediately stop dunking your
tuna fish sandwiches in it.
To stop a cat climbing walls tilt house/apartment on to side.

(in reply to knees2you)
Profile   Post #: 394
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/22/2006 11:08:10 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline 		Someone forgot to post a new question...


I found a little leak under my sink. I don't want to call my landlord to have it fixed, any thoughts as to what I can do?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to rivenmoon)
Profile   Post #: 395
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/23/2006 5:37:23 AM   
FullCircle


Posts: 5713
Joined: 11/24/2005
Status: offline 		This is a very common problem we all get from time to time. The solution is very simple and straight forward though. I saw this on a DIY programme the other week.

Step 1: Drill a second hole in the bottom of the basin.
Step 2: Get a load of hair and shove it down the original plug hole thus blocking it
Step 3: Drill hole in pipe under sink, below previously installed hair bung in step 2 above.
Step 4: Get some common garden hose and connect the second hole in the sink as created in step 1 above with the hole created in step 3 above.
Step 5: Seal the pipe in place with candle wax.

Another suggested option is to go straight to step 5 and seal the original leak with candle wax. This is only advisable in the most extreme situation and as a quick fix solution. After doing a life cycle costing analysis and taking into consideration the annual equivalent equity rate it is obvious to see that the ‘head straight to step 5’ option is complete madness and laughed upon by the Association of named aquatic leak specialists. Anals also recommends that work should only be carried out by an approved sink specialist. Once the ass has been appointed to carry out the work a certificate of word done can then be issued.

The batteries in my remote control have gone leaving me unable to turn the TV over what can I do?

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∞ ﮒuקּƹɼ ƾɛϰưϫԼ Ƨωιϯϲћ.

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 396
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/23/2006 6:53:12 AM   
rivenmoon


Posts: 330
Joined: 6/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

Someone forgot to post a new question...
sorry folks
 
QUOTE: FullCircle
The batteries in my remote control have gone leaving me unable to turn the TV over what can I do?

Take your life into your own hands and either call the landlord or tv repair man
remember to wear the long blonde wig and little girls outfit.

My remote is too complicated but that is not my problem....
My problem is when dealing with male shop assistants I dont have a long blonde wig and cannot afford to buy one, what shall i do?????????? 
-Handicapped brunette

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 397
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/23/2006 5:00:03 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

My problem is when dealing with male shop assistants I dont have a long blonde wig and cannot afford to buy one, what shall i do?????????? 
-Handicapped brunette


Well, here is a business opportunity if I have ever heard of one. You should start rent-a-blonde.com business. This way, you can have blondes available for any task that requires someone that is blonde. I will only require a 75% share of the business and stock options.

I fear that blondes will want to do mean and nasty things to me after this post. Any suggestions as to how to prevent that?

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to rivenmoon)
Profile   Post #: 398
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/23/2006 5:51:16 PM   
yourMissTress


Posts: 1665
Joined: 6/14/2005
From: Nashville, TN
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge

I fear that blondes will want to do mean and nasty things to me after this post. Any suggestions as to how to prevent that?


dress up like MC Hammer and dance away from them as they attack.
 
I'm tired of all the current hair removal options, anyone have a new idea?

< Message edited by yourMissTress -- 4/23/2006 5:55:32 PM >

_____________________________

Tress


"If you have to tell people that you are a lady, you are not." My Grandmother


(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 399
RE: Really, Really Bad Advice - 4/23/2006 7:12:09 PM   
rivenmoon


Posts: 330
Joined: 6/5/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: yourMissTress


I'm tired of all the current hair removal options, anyone have a new idea?


Dye your hair dark black and move to palestine, hairily, you will blend in quiet well there.
 
Why doesnt anyone understand me? and what can I do about it.......
                                                                                      George W. Bush

(in reply to yourMissTress)
Profile   Post #: 400
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