RE: Really, Really Bad Advice

RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (Full Version)

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nyrisa -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/29/2007 2:33:09 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mikal I want to get a dog from another country... should I be worried about import laws/immigration? The dog is Mexican (Xoloitzcuintle).[/color] Not at all. The border patrol will be delighted that you are adding to the diversity of our canine culture. It is important to realize that your new dog will need to be surrounded by familiar things from his home country. Be sure to pack things into his kennel to increase his feeling of security: bottles of tequila; local fruits and vegetables; dried packs of native grasses which can be bought in convenient ziploc bags through helpful local dealers.....errr, vendors. You will have a happy little dog. I am at a loss for a fun new hobby. Sewing and knitting have become boring. What should I do?

IEvolve -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/29/2007 5:39:28 AM)
Join a convent. I am the man from Nantucket. Does that make me gay?

ready4srvce4all -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/29/2007 8:08:41 AM)
No that makes you the envy of every man on earth I'm not the man from Nantucket...what can I do to do what the man from Nantucket can do?

Mikal -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/29/2007 8:18:44 PM)
Give away your leprechaun powers, catch the person you gave them to, and start wishing away. I need a nice slave girl to take care of the house & associated chores while I go to work... where do I find one?

nyrisa -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/30/2007 2:34:30 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mikal I need a nice slave girl to take care of the house & associated chores while I go to work... where do I find one? I believe things didn't work out between Cinderella and that Prince. I think they said she got mad at him, kicked him out of the castle, and they are still picking glass slivers out of his ass. But with the pre-nups, she is left with nothing. Maybe give her a call and offer her ashes and rags at your place? I can't get my fingernails to grow, because I bite them all the time. What should I do?

ready4srvce4all -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/30/2007 7:54:33 AM)
Fingernail exercises that not only toughen the nail, but make it grow in a rapid, orderly fashion. The only exercise proven to work is to scrape what fingernails you do have down a chalkboard. I can't stand people that drive slowly in the passing lane. What can I do to decrease my road rage?

SeeksOnlyOne -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/30/2007 7:57:04 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ready4srvce4all I can't stand people that drive slowly in the passing lane. What can I do to decrease my road rage? buy an uzi and keep it locked and loaded at all times in your passenger seat-just knowing you could blow them into lil pieces should bring peace......... i wish merrywanna were legal.......how can i make this happen?

ready4srvce4all -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/30/2007 8:15:09 AM)
Sit out in front of the Capitol, light up, and when they come to arrest you, just say you're a concientious objector. I am starting to sing the ditties from the kids shows that Mistress' UM's watch all day long. How do I get these annoying tunes out of my head?

Mikal -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/30/2007 9:55:34 AM)
Stand on a tall box in the middle of town, and belt out those songs at the top of your lungs. Eventually, your head will empty itself of these songs. I'm having a boring Saturday. What can I do to liven it up?

nyrisa -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/30/2007 11:57:45 AM)
Call the police. Tell them that you are holding yourself hostage. Attack the SWAT team with Nerf bats. Boredom cured. My husband and son have gone nuts about fishing this summer. I am tired of dealing with fishy smelling clothes after they come back. What should I do?

Mikal -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/30/2007 3:04:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: nyrisa My husband and son have gone nuts about fishing this summer. I am tired of dealing with fishy smelling clothes after they come back. What should I do? Sounds to me like your hubby is cheating on you, and teaching your son to do the same to his future wife. So, go get yourself a fishwife and cheat on them! Should I make dinner from scratch or use left-overs?

nyrisa -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/30/2007 3:11:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Mikal Should I make dinner from scratch or use left-overs? Oh, food is always better, made from scratch. First, go out to the field and plant the wheat...... I would like to take up roller skating, but I am afraid I may break a bone, and be embarrassed when the ED doc asks what a woman my age is doing on skates. What should I do?

ready4srvce4all -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/30/2007 5:49:43 PM)
Don't wear clean underwear, he'll never notice your age then. I forgot my left from my right. How do I make sure I get to work?

petdave -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/30/2007 7:30:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ready4srvce4all I forgot my left from my right. How do I make sure I get to work? Take a cab to work once, and leave a trail of breadcrumbs. On subsequent trips to and from work, simply follow the trail. Our laser printer is running out of toner, but new cartridges are stupidly expensive. How can i continue to print without having to skip lunch for a month?

amaidiamond -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/30/2007 7:34:47 PM)
Use orange juice instead... My shoes are to small, how can i wear them comfertably?

Mikal -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/30/2007 7:53:28 PM)
Cut the toes & most of the sides out. Besides, it's summer - you don't need to have your feet totaly covered. I'm thinking that I really should be going to bed soon... but it is the weekend... so, should I?

amaidiamond -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/30/2007 7:54:57 PM)
No you should stay up and participate in random threads on cm.com My vibrator keeps running out of batterys, what should i do?

twistedkytten -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/30/2007 8:00:17 PM)
Buy stock in Duracell?

KyttynTheMynx -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/30/2007 8:03:56 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: amaidiamond No you should stay up and participate in random threads on cm.com My vibrator keeps running out of batterys, what should i do? Wire it to a car battery. Im really tipsy, and I wanna take a nap, but i sit around and chat with a few people. what do i do?

ready4srvce4all -> RE: Really, Really Bad Advice (6/30/2007 8:09:16 PM)
Forget chat, give out your phone number. That's more relaxing, and the phone ringing helps with sleep when you don't feel like talking on the phone anymore. I don't want to mow the lawn tomorrow. What can I do?

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