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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

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ORIGINAL: lucky2beyours91

i didn't mean to be deceitful :/

but, i am pretty sure You and i went over that already.

i am very glad i made this thread and didn't just go to Him right away.

Sometimes it's best to try to figure things out by yourself and then go to your Master.

Especially when he has you sit far away from him so his Number One girl knows you aren't a threat...

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ORIGINAL: lucky2beyours91

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ORIGINAL: PeanutTigerinBox

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ORIGINAL: lucky2beyours91
He knows what He is doing and i can say there is no better way for me to get into this lifestyle than with someone who is mature and is stable and knows what the hell is doing. i am 19, i am vulnerable and know it ...if i didn't get involved with the right kind of person at first that could of been fairly detrimental.

Thats exactly my view...the very first time when I realised what my C-Dom was up to I was gobsmacked how unexpected and how fast I was tied up...it just wasn't in any way expecting that to happen...however, he accepted on that day that I am not into pain (or at least I thought so in those days) and didnt apply any pain....just let me experience him in that situation where he was in control. Before the next meeting he made clear I am going to be caned...so kind of either I will accept it or we won't meet....now...whilst he didnt take one step at a time and more kind of 5 steps at a time I enjoyed the fact that he never came up with any form of nasty surprise...I knew roughly what to expect and could rely on him. He watched my body language and reacted straight away to give me a drink when I felt dizzy...the reason why I was happy to continue the experiences with him was as I knew he took care of me. Of course he enjoyed himself on me but heck, I had a marvellous teacher with him at the same time and therefore there is nothing wrong with that.

And when you know that the person sticks to his word and that you are in safe hands....then the age gap is certainly the last worry in my mind.

Yup, exactly. Seems like you and me both did/are doing the right things.

i am so glad that experience really helped you out, because it seems like that is what mine is doing with my Master also. :)

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ORIGINAL: laurell3

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ORIGINAL: lucky2beyours91

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ORIGINAL: laurell3

Only YOU know if you can actually do this. There are a number of issues that would not be easy for me personally, but I am not you.

YOU need to figure out what's bothering you. Maybe you're not as ok with the casual thing as you think, personally I have found that being in a situation that is that vulnerable for me is not conducive to a casual relationship. Maybe you're just taking in too much information and overloaded. There's a million maybes that we could keep naming, YOU have to decide what works for you. We can't do that for you, we don't know you or him.

You really should be able to talk to him. I'm going to suggest that if you having a hard time with this and approaching him on it is "selfish" then maybe he isn't everything that you thought. Many people when they are new see things in a way that may not be realistic, we learn as we go what works for us and what doesn't. Take an honest look at whether this is right for you, if it is, go for it, if not, there are plenty of other dominants out there that are knowlegable.

Yeah, well really i doubt He'd get mad if i went to Him i'd just be afraid of disappointment.

He's on a trip so i have a while to think about things before july 6 O/our next training session.
He will ask what is new and i will probably say something adn know how to say it and i am sure talking to Him will clear my mind.

i give Him a lot of credit i am 19 and i am overly sensitive yet...whatever issue i come to Him with...He takes care of and makes sense of it and makes me feel 100 percent better.

That's great. I think you need to talk to him openly. I'm glad to hear he's receptive to that.

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ORIGINAL: PeanutTigerinBox

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ORIGINAL: lucky2beyours91

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ORIGINAL: PeanutTigerinBox

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ORIGINAL: lucky2beyours91
He knows what He is doing and i can say there is no better way for me to get into this lifestyle than with someone who is mature and is stable and knows what the hell is doing. i am 19, i am vulnerable and know it ...if i didn't get involved with the right kind of person at first that could of been fairly detrimental.

Thats exactly my view...the very first time when I realised what my C-Dom was up to I was gobsmacked how unexpected and how fast I was tied up...it just wasn't in any way expecting that to happen...however, he accepted on that day that I am not into pain (or at least I thought so in those days) and didnt apply any pain....just let me experience him in that situation where he was in control. Before the next meeting he made clear I am going to be caned...so kind of either I will accept it or we won't meet....now...whilst he didnt take one step at a time and more kind of 5 steps at a time I enjoyed the fact that he never came up with any form of nasty surprise...I knew roughly what to expect and could rely on him. He watched my body language and reacted straight away to give me a drink when I felt dizzy...the reason why I was happy to continue the experiences with him was as I knew he took care of me. Of course he enjoyed himself on me but heck, I had a marvellous teacher with him at the same time and therefore there is nothing wrong with that.

And when you know that the person sticks to his word and that you are in safe hands....then the age gap is certainly the last worry in my mind.

Yup, exactly. Seems like you and me both did/are doing the right things.

i am so glad that experience really helped you out, because it seems like that is what mine is doing with my Master also. :)

It did, because I took some time thinking if I really am going to meet him again or not after that first event...so I am glad that he stayed reasonable in his first demands and didnt go over the top. If he would have caned me in that first meeting I doubt I would have developed any interest into bdsm and probably would not want to have anything to do with him anymore...and thats again a good thing about experienced older Doms who don't feel the need to rush too fast with less experienced girls.

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Seriously what the hell is wrong with some of you people.

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ORIGINAL: lucky2beyours91

Well, that's your opinion, i am doing the best thing i can right now and that is being with Him.

He is absolutely amazing!!

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ORIGINAL: marie2

In my mind, it was all good until he said "slave before submissive". I have no idea what his motive was for saying that of course. If I were accepting of their relationship and as gracious about it as you are, that comment would have pierced me, and it would have given me the message that he sees me as inferior to, or less than the slave, instead of simply different than the slave.

I'd think twice about investing more in this relationship. But I would talk to him first, tell him how you feel, and make a judgement call based on what comes back.

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ORIGINAL: lucky2beyours91

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ORIGINAL: marie2

In my mind, it was all good until he said "slave before submissive". I have no idea what his motive was for saying that of course. If I were accepting of their relationship and as gracious about it as you are, that comment would have pierced me, and it would have given me the message that he sees me as inferior to, or less than the slave, instead of simply different than the slave.

I'd think twice about investing more in this relationship. But I would talk to him first, tell him how you feel, and make a judgement call based on what comes back.

Maybe that's a good point to bring up... being inferior and less than... instead of just different.

But am i inferior to her? i don't know :/
i feel i maybe am :/like i said... she deserves her place and i respect it more than anything. i kind of don't have a problem with it even as long as O/our relationship is intact. if that makes sense?

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

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Seriously what the hell is wrong with some of you people.

Some of us are parents, and remember what being 19 was...

As someone with a penchant for older men (not grandpas, but father figures) I was lucky none of them took me up on hints that I offered in demonstrating interest in them.... It takes someone in control over themselves to say "hey, we can be friends, but you are too young for me, how about we hang out, and I introduce you to people I know" Why does he need to own her?


It is my opinion.... and it is based upon 42 years on planet earth and lots of experience with young people, some of them I mentor professionally.

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ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan

<----- is a parent and remembers what it was like being 19. Also remembers at what age I was aware of myself sexually and also spent the majority of my time from ages 16 to 22 dating women who were 38 and older with 52 being one of the most gratifying relationship I ever had.

Or are you one of those people who believe that the only reason someone who is older would be interested in someone who is younger is because of the sexual implications? Cause people who are yonger cannot possibly be able to connect with someone who is older on any level other than a sexual one right?

Oh my GOD that is so pretencious and judgemental.

Age IS and always will be a NUMBER!

Sex is a NATURAL interest when it comes to Men and Women of ANYKIND. Age may have it's problems and the OP is sure to eventually learn that she cannot relate to certain Timeline experiences, she will not get Pop Culture references because they are from two different era's but as we have learned from history, people adapt and overcome when there is genuine interest involved.

For you to ignore this makes me wonder about any professional advice you might give. If you cannot see the Possibility that happiness could be found leads me to believe that you are spouting off your objectives and not what is in the best interest for your clients.

QSM

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ORIGINAL: lucky2beyours91

Maybe that's a good point to bring up... being inferior and less than... instead of just different.

But am i inferior to her? i don't know :/
i feel i maybe am :/

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ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
It takes someone in control over themselves to say "hey, we can be friends, but you are too young for me, how about we hang out, and I introduce you to people I know"

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Why does he need to own her?

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ORIGINAL: lucky2beyours91

i assure you, i am much more mature than many 19 year olds my age.

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ORIGINAL: CallaFirestormBW

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ORIGINAL: lucky2beyours91

Maybe that's a good point to bring up... being inferior and less than... instead of just different.

But am i inferior to her? i don't know :/
i feel i maybe am :/

If nothing else, you're new, and are still the lower-ranked subordinate in the situation -- I think that this is one thing that bothers people about hierarchical structures is that idea that one person's rank in a given situation is higher than another person's rank. For those people, I take it out of the "personal relationship" realm and ask how a new person in a -job- is treated... For example, in the place that I work, there are 4 "ranks" of administrative support persons (these jobs make perfect examples, from my perspective, because they're skilled service jobs).

A newcomer here, even with experience starts out as a 'secretary' -- the highest "starting" position is "senior secretary". You have to have at least 6 months experience at our company to get an administrative support position higher than that.

Above senior secretaries in the rankings are the Administrative Assistants. Their job scope is substantially more challenging, and they have a -much- more experienced grasp of the corporate culture and rules of our organization.

Above the Administrative Assistants we have the Sr. Administrative Assistants -- and they are supervisory as well as having an extensive technical background.

At the top rung, we have Project Coordinators -- these folks basically act as the hands, eyes, ears, and voice of the MD that they care for.

It is often reiterated during the training process that a secretary/sr. secretary is -not- a Project Coordinator, and is not expected to know the same things or take on the same responsibilities as a Project Coordinator... and this isn't said just for the benefit of the secretary -- it's also said for the benefit of the MDs, the AAs, and the PCs.... to remind them that this person is not at that level, and shouldn't be expected to bear the same burden of responsibility, especially as a newcomer.

The thing is, either a person is comfortable with hierarchical relationships or xhe's not -- the OP seems pretty comfortable with the hierarchical situation, she just wants to know that she's appreciated, because what happened shocked and hurt her. I don't really think it's beneficial for people who have issues with either poly or hierarchy to muddy the waters just to comment, when the issue isn't about whether the core style of the relationship is "ok". We all understand that some folks don't like protocol, don't like hierarchy, don't like poly, don't like older men, etc.... but that's not the issue at hand, and it confuses and frustrates when those comments get bandied around

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ORIGINAL: lucky2beyours91

i assure you, i am much more mature than many 19 year olds my age.

i am afraid you are letting my age get to you more than it should...i am sure your advice would be way different if i was like 30. To me, age doesn't matter so your input is giving me nothing..................lol