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RE: Aftercare - 7/1/2010 4:15:06 PM

zephyroftheNorth

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From: The Great Frozen North
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Really? I've never had the impression he was talking about *all* subs nor that he was trying to tell us how much aftercare we all should get/need.

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(in reply to laurell3)

Post #: 101

RE: Aftercare - 7/1/2010 4:16:59 PM

jujubeeMB

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Joined: 1/8/2010
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I'm going to need some aftercare after this thread derails into people yelling at each other...

(in reply to Mercnbeth)

Post #: 102

RE: Aftercare - 7/1/2010 4:18:46 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
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quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

I'm going to need some aftercare after this thread derails into people yelling at each other...

Not to worry, I'm sure someone will come along to make swiss cheese out of the thread soon.

It's sad that your question is never about you isn't it?

I think you got your answer though, you have the right to need what you need and a partner that recognizes it and provides it, always.

< Message edited by laurell3 -- 7/1/2010 4:19:04 PM >

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Post #: 103

RE: Aftercare - 7/1/2010 4:23:35 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
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From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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You are hawt without the pic, domiguy...now mind you, you are physically attractive in the photo... but you were hawt without it based on personality and laughability quotient that you bring to CM

I have a son that will not allow me to post any photos of him online, he is 6 foot 4, curly headed hunk that girls swoon over... being willing to exhibit one's self over the internet is no proof of being attractive... in fact some of the folks that post their photos might have more success if they "remained in shadows"

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Post #: 104

RE: Aftercare - 7/1/2010 5:02:21 PM

MarcEsadrian

Posts: 852
Joined: 8/24/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

Ok, been in Europe not thinking about D/s for a couple of months, but I'm back and this one is making me crazy:

How do people feel about aftercare? I do a lot of very intense psychological stuff with my Dom, and while during play I feel like the luckiest, most incredibly blissful person on the planet, when I don't get a good "it's ok, I care about you. Come back to yourself" session afterward, I wind up feeling god awful. My Dom agrees that we need to find aftercare that works for me, but so far I can never get him to do it, and in trying to I wind up feeling obnoxious and needy and whiny on top of my already pretty crappy feeling.

Are there any Doms out there who do NOT like to do aftercare? Are there any subs who desperately need it but have had to stifle the need because their Dom wanted them to "get over it"? Everyone else - do you need aftercare? Do you loathe aftercare? Think it's silly? Love it?

I don't understand the issue with aftercare, if there really is one; it's a fairly natural and human thing to offer a slave/servant/bottom who has suffered so much for you a lap to cry upon, and it only serves to strengthen the bond. Knowing you haven't broken your favorite toy, and exploring his/her mental state is comforting, in turn. On the flip side, insisting on the unconditional provision of aftercare in any circumstance is unrealistic and somewhat subversive. There are times when it should not be offered or expected.

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Post #: 105

RE: Aftercare - 7/1/2010 5:07:32 PM

ModTwentyOne

Posts: 2504
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: laurell3

It's sad that your question is never about you isn't it?

Yes, it is, quite sad.

And now this thread is locked up... it will be up to Alpha whether it opens again.

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Post #: 106

RE: Aftercare - 7/1/2010 6:22:18 PM

VideoAdminAlpha

Posts: 3876
Joined: 7/25/2008
Status: offline

In deference to the OP, and the fact there WAS some good discussion going on, Im opening it back up. The first one, and any thereafter that participates in anything that was removed, or starts the derail train again, at the expense of someone else, gets immediate moderation. Some have already experienced it. Let's not add to the body count, ok?

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Post #: 107

RE: Aftercare - 7/1/2010 6:23:31 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
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Thanks VAA!

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I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

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Post #: 108

RE: Aftercare - 7/1/2010 6:24:09 PM

AQuietSimpleMan

Posts: 1410
Joined: 11/15/2009
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Agreed Thank you VideoAdminAlpha

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Post #: 109

RE: Aftercare - 7/1/2010 6:26:35 PM

zephyroftheNorth

Posts: 8159
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From: The Great Frozen North
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Thanks VAA and agreed, let's keep this thread where it should be....on topic

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The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

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Post #: 110

RE: Aftercare - 7/1/2010 6:28:11 PM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
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Hummmmmmm ok......

Interesting theory.... on topic.

I have already posted so.......

On topic huh?..........

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Post #: 111

RE: Aftercare - 7/1/2010 6:31:09 PM

Ligeia72

Posts: 126
Joined: 6/29/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: zephyroftheNorth

Thanks VAA and agreed, let's keep this thread where it should be....on topic

*joins in the thanks*

...And in keeping with that idea - Found this on YouTube, just as a point of interest, it's a Flogging session followed by Heart Chakra aftercare.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jVx4Iy8o_i8

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

Post #: 112

RE: Aftercare - 7/1/2010 6:32:12 PM

zephyroftheNorth

Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline

C'mon Jefffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff you can do it, I know you can. Start with a short post, get your mandals wet then take it from there *smiles encouragingly*

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And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

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Post #: 113

RE: Aftercare - 7/1/2010 6:38:30 PM

LafayetteLady

Posts: 7683
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Northern New Jersey
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FR-

Personally, I think that the OP has probably gotten all that she is going to get from this thread. She knows what she needs to do, and she knows she has a decision to make. With due respect to the moderators, further discussion on a dominant's need for aftercare would be better served on new thread.

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

Post #: 114

RE: Aftercare - 7/1/2010 6:38:59 PM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
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I think after care is a good thing.

I think that I am going to do heinous things to her.

I think it is a good thing to make sure she is ok after.

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(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

Post #: 115

RE: Aftercare - 7/1/2010 6:41:17 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
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Ya think? I think you'd need aftercare too if you didn't give it!

Seriously, aftercare isn't one-sided, especially in an ongoing dynamic. It's just as much about preserving your relationship as it is about her in my opinion.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 116

RE: Aftercare - 7/1/2010 6:43:00 PM

zephyroftheNorth

Posts: 8159
Joined: 10/5/2009
From: The Great Frozen North
Status: offline

yay Jefffffffffffffffffff! See you can do it! And I agree, first ya hurts her then ya helps her. Definitely the way to go. Oh and the amount of aftercare will vary depending on how much ya hurts her.

_____________________________

And there's a smile when the pain comes
The pain gonna make ev'rything alright ~ Black Crows

Team Troll Trollop
Member: Cocksuckers For World Peace
Charter member: Lance's Fag Hags
Member: Subbie Mafia
Member: Hibbie's Hotties

(in reply to Jeffff)

Post #: 117

RE: Aftercare - 7/1/2010 6:44:17 PM

laurell3

Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
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Not necessarily, different people respond emotionally and physically to different things, hurting may not be the determining factor.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to zephyroftheNorth)

Post #: 118

RE: Aftercare - 7/1/2010 6:45:02 PM

domiguy

Posts: 12952
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline

what is exactly the line between after care and cpr?

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Post #: 119

RE: Aftercare - 7/1/2010 6:45:03 PM

Jeffff

Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline

Basking in the detumescence?

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Post #: 120

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