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How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/10/2010 1:48:43 PM

AQuietSimpleMan

Posts: 1410
Joined: 11/15/2009
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From another thread that I didn't want to derail.

How Pushable are your Limits.

I say this because just about every woman I ever been with had a Limit on Anal Sex..... and every one eventually allowed me to do it and every one ended up loving it and LIVING for it. (Well maybe not THAT excited but that's how I remember it)

The Idea is how offten do you Limit something that scares you but you don't really know all that much about?

What Limits have you set that later on you had to reset because you fond someone you LIKED doing that thing with?

Curious Minds want to know.

QSM

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Post #: 1

RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/10/2010 1:54:15 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
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From the top side - NOT.

Limits that I've gotten from clip have included needles and long whips.

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Post #: 2

RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/10/2010 1:54:41 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
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My hard limits are things that completely turn me off and I feel could be damaging to me....

My soft limits are things that I could/would explore with the right person.... but I do not like any of my limits "pushed" in that a dominant would try to do it without warning or they would badger me about it or threaten me with the relationship for not complying... Let me know you want to explore it, and let me contemplate it for a while.....

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Post #: 3

RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/10/2010 1:55:01 PM

gedienstig

Posts: 155
Joined: 5/9/2010
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I had a lot of limits in the beginning, since I didn't want to start being a sub all the way. But gradually, I got more experience, and more and more limits were rejected. There are a few hard ones but I don't mention those (animals, kids) because these are the items that have nothing to do with BDSM at all for me. I've always known that almost all the limits I had would be pushed one day, I just didn't want to start experimenting all the way.

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Post #: 4

RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/10/2010 1:56:17 PM

kiwisub12

Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
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Being beaten by a man i loved was once a hard limit.

My, how things change!
and i don't see the changes stopping - i see them continuing to evolve and mutate. So, i guess my hard limits are pushable. Actually if a dominant type wants me to try something , i don't see me arguing with him at all, so i'm not sure i really have hard limits.
Maybe its fairer to say my opposition is situational.

(in reply to AQuietSimpleMan)

Post #: 5

RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/10/2010 1:57:07 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan

The Idea is how offten do you Limit something that scares you but you don't really know all that much about?

When I was single I didn't need to know about something to know i wouldn't want to ever do it and I set it as a limit. I know what my mind and body can tolerate. I know myself pretty well.

quote:

What Limits have you set that later on you had to reset because you fond someone you LIKED doing that thing with?

Never.

My limits when I was single were never things that I simply didn't like. They were things that would cause me irrepairable physical, emotional or mental harm....ya know...death, removal of limbs, things that are gonna land me in jail, etc...

I simply searched for a man who had similar limits to my own and it seems to work out pretty well so far.

My limits have yet to ever change from the first day I ever started all of this stuff.

(in reply to AQuietSimpleMan)

Post #: 6

RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/10/2010 2:04:50 PM

myotherself

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From: The cold bit of the UK
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My hard limits are set in stone. There are reasons for them, and if anyone thought they could 'push' those limits, the next thing they'd see is me closing the door behind me as I left. One example - I wouldn't even consider anything over my head to restrict my breathing as I'm asthmatic and somewhat claustrophobic.

However I don't have many hard limits. I have a list of things I'm not keen on and have never tried, and would hope to eventually trust someone enough to explore those limits.

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Post #: 7

RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/10/2010 2:16:55 PM

Toppingfrmbottom

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Joined: 6/7/2009
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My hard limits are not pushable, they're chosen out of things I know will harm me, mentally or physically, or are illegal or against my morality to do. Any one that tried to push those limits would be pushed out the door faster than they knew what hit them if they had ever been allowed in the door at all.

Now soft limits, they're pushable if he is the right person for me, and has demonstrated he is responsible enough to be trusted with the soft limits. And they're not soft limits because the idea or activity scares me, but because I have zero interest in doing said activity, but with right person I could be convinced to try.

I can't really think of any limits right now that were no go's and then I relented and now I love it or like doing it.

quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan

From another thread that I didn't want to derail.

How Pushable are your Limits.

I

The Idea is how offten do you Limit something that scares you but you don't really know all that much about?

What Limits have you set that later on you had to reset because you fond someone you LIKED doing that thing with?

Curious Minds want to know.

QSM

(in reply to AQuietSimpleMan)

Post #: 8

RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/10/2010 2:19:50 PM

bamboozledbylove

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Joined: 7/9/2010
Status: offline

I have hard limits and they don't yield. That keeps things simple, which I need. I know that the setting and testing of limits is interesting to some. I prefer things be absolutely straightforward so I can save my limited powers of deduction for truly important things like which end of the sock to put my foot in. Mornings are hard enough as it is.

(in reply to AQuietSimpleMan)

Post #: 9

RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/10/2010 2:21:26 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I would expand on my answer and say that i have noticed that some dominants get off on pushing limits... they state this unequivocally on their profile... I suppose that is a kink as is any other, but I avoid those sorts

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Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

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Post #: 10

RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/10/2010 2:21:37 PM

delicatelydirty

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Joined: 2/7/2010
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As far as things like limb removal and all those other "warm fuzzies" that at one point I thought were common sense... They are hard limits and it kinda seems silly even having to say it.

but things like needles, whips even watersports once upon a time were hard limits because I didn't understand them and thought I would hate them ... So now I tend not to set "limits" I would rather discuss activities with my partner and go from there.

The closest things I have though are puppy play and any humiliation regarding my appearance, both of those things leave me in a very bad place emotionally but this is something I know from experience not a limit set out of fear.

(in reply to myotherself)

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RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/10/2010 2:27:41 PM

gungadin09

Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
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i dunno, not very. i try to stick to very sensible limits, from the get-go. These limits are for an ongoing relationship. For Someone i didn't know well, the list would be longer. i try to pick limits that are not "pushable".

my limits are:
1. condom for vaginal intercourse
2. don't contact me at work, unless it's an emergency.
3. don't drop by my work, unless it's an emergency or it has been previously arranged.
4. don't do anything else that interferes with my job, such as sleep deprivation, asking me to call in sick, or to perform tasks or text while i am at work
5. no hard drugs. i don't do drugs at all, but i could probably be talked into pot or ecstasy, on a case by case basis. It would have to be very infrequent.
6. no blood, scat, or permanent marks; i MIGHT be amenable to something like this on a one time basis, but i would need to know the specifics ahead of time and give my consent on a one time basis.
7. no calling me "stupid", and i won't call You "Daddy"; any other names are okay
8. piss play has to be infrequent (once a week or less...)
9. You can take pictures or video, but if it shows my face You can't show it to anyone else
10. Phone and IM must be kept within 1 hour per day, unless previously arranged.
11. Any other tasks You give me must be completable within 1 hour on a workday, and 3 hours on a weekend, unless previously arranged.
12. i don't submit online. It is very unlikely that i will relocate for You.
13. i am very discreet. i expect discretion from my Dom as well. i don't want all Your friends coming up and asking me what happened last Friday...

That's all i can think of. i'm not very experienced. i try not to list something as a "limit" unless it really is one. i would probably break up with Someone for violating any of these limits, or repeatedly asking about them.

pam

< Message edited by gungadin09 -- 7/10/2010 2:29:20 PM >

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 12

RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/10/2010 2:34:19 PM

slaveluci

Posts: 4294
Joined: 3/2/2007
From: Little Rock, AR
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AQuietSimpleMan
The Idea is how offten do you Limit something that scares you but you don't really know all that much about?

What Limits have you set that later on you had to reset because you fond someone you LIKED doing that thing with?

I've only limited things that I KNOW I can't handle due to very real, very well established phobias (i.e - I am very claustrophobic and also cannot stand being pinned down on my back with my arms to my sides. I flip out just imagining it.) Master has been patient with these and, at my own urging, has - over the years - helped me to begin working through them. The point is, they are limits not because I think I would be uncomfortable but because I KNOW I would freak out!

I really haven't had to reset limits because I haven't set many in the first place. I'm open to whatever as long as it's not something I've already very well aware is hugely disturbing to me (like scat). It's not that my "limits" are pushable so much as I'm pretty much willing to experiment and try anything (the things listed above necessarily excluded)............luci

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RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/10/2010 2:41:45 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

There are limits and limits. Things I am willing to try with The Man inside of an established loving relationship are very different than stuff I would have done on the first play meet. And even in that, it has to be the right time and place. I don't have switches that turn on and off, much stuff I have to feel my way through. And if it doesn't feel right, then it's a no. You can always change a no to a yes, you cannot undo a bad experience.

However guys who only want to push limits? I hard limited them.

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Post #: 14

RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/10/2010 3:56:45 PM

OsideGirl

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Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
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My limits are things that I consider immoral or would cause harm. So, not at all pushable.

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RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/10/2010 4:16:02 PM

Missokyst

Posts: 6041
Joined: 9/9/2006
Status: offline

Very little scares me in terms of play but everything makes me anxiety ridden. I do have limits that are set in stone. In fact they are so untouchable no one could ever cross them without some serious damage to at least one of us. My regular limits are not based on me, but based on my partner. How much do I trust him... is sex allowable... does he seem like he will do this thing with regard for me, ect. Regular limits depend on how well I know and trust my partner. Those change. BUT, they are still regular limits in my head for the next partner who shares my life.. until I know that person well enought to know what can be crossed off and what cannot.

(in reply to AQuietSimpleMan)

Post #: 16

RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/10/2010 4:16:40 PM

DaddysInkedSlut

Posts: 1837
Joined: 5/14/2010
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My limits :

No kids (I state this b/c there are some folks who think my daughter is part of the equation of want her to be)
No animals (I state this b/c I have indeed been approached if I do this)
No perminant marks
No canes or crops (they are bad triggers for me)
No alchohol
No illegal drugs (I have been asked if I would do E in a sessions)
No interfering with my parenting (duh)
No interfering with my on going medical treatment (I actually had someone who wanted me to go off my meds for a yr and undo having my tubes tied and get prego even though it was against medical advice and dangerous for me)

I used to have no anal, infact it used to be a very adimate HELL NO. However, with Daddy it is something I wanted to give him. Something special between us sexually. That being said the rest of my limits are there to protect me, my family. There is no budge on those.

< Message edited by DaddysInkedSlut -- 7/10/2010 4:18:41 PM >

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RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/10/2010 4:41:34 PM

DomImus

Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
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My submissive listed electrical play as a hard limit before she met me. Her previous dominant lobbied hard for it and she would not relent. The night we met she asked me things I was interested in trying but had not tried and electrical play was on my short list. I ventured into it in very short order (like a month or so - maybe our 3rd-4th time together). She didn't tell me it was a former hard limit until well after we had breached that barrier. She explained that it wasn't so much a hard limit as it was a hard limit with her former dominant. She didn't not feel comfortable engaging in that with him. She felt totally at ease right out of the gate doing it with me even though I had no prior experience. I guess it's a matter of the vibe you get from someone whether they have their shit together or not.

A side note: I think it is so sad that people have to list kids and animals as limits. I know why people do it - because certain sick fucks consider them kinks, not crimes - but it saddens me nonetheless.

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RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/10/2010 4:51:05 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
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It's a lot sadder when someone writes you specifically because you are a single mother, targeting your children.

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RE: How "Pushable" are your Limits. - 7/10/2010 5:00:58 PM

DaddysInkedSlut

Posts: 1837
Joined: 5/14/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

It's a lot sadder when someone writes you specifically because you are a single mother, targeting your children.

I totally agree!

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Post #: 20

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