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Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 4:30:56 AM   
loyalonlychild


Posts: 1
Joined: 7/16/2010
Status: offline 		Greetings.  my Master has been told that His slavegirl has Bi-Polar affective disorder.  Sadly He is unable to cope with the depressive side where this girl does not have much, if anything pleasant to say.   When girl is manic, most is in harmony, apart from trying to get girl to sleep....her mind is racing.  my Master is at his wits end, and this girl sinks lower into depression knowing her illness has caused all this headache for my Master.
This slavegirl would be gratefull for practical help, yes we have professionals ( vanillas ).  What would You do,?.  Would You release her only on the basis of her illness, ?.  Would You stand by her side and support Your slavegirl through therapy for 6 months,?.
Very interested to know Your feedback. Thank You. slavegirl kyun.
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 4:37:12 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		Hello there,

How long have you known about your condition? Did your partner know about it prior to you both getting together?

_____________________________

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(in reply to loyalonlychild)
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RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 5:20:23 AM   
IronBear


Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: loyalonlychild

Greetings.  my Master has been told that His slavegirl has Bi-Polar affective disorder.  Sadly He is unable to cope with the depressive side where this girl does not have much, if anything pleasant to say.   When girl is manic, most is in harmony, apart from trying to get girl to sleep....her mind is racing.  my Master is at his wits end, and this girl sinks lower into depression knowing her illness has caused all this headache for my Master.
This slavegirl would be gratefull for practical help, yes we have professionals ( vanillas ).  What would You do,?.  Would You release her only on the basis of her illness, ?.  Would You stand by her side and support Your slavegirl through therapy for 6 months,?.
Very interested to know Your feedback. Thank You. slavegirl kyun.



It appears to me that both you and your Master were not aware of your condition when he collared you. That you have professional help is good and positive. Now to your questions"

  1. Would You release her only on the basis of her illness, ? NO! Disability and/or illness is not reason enough for me to release a slave. There are four reasons for dismissal ion my home and illness or disability is not one of them. However, I would release a slave if I were convinced that it was in her best interests but would prefer to remain on good terms and be willing to help her if and when I was able.
  2. Would You stand by her side and support Your slavegirl through therapy for 6 months,? YES! To do other than this would smack of shallowness and dishonour to me. Others may see it differently but at the end, I have to live with myself and face myself in the mirror when shaving. We, that is the slave and Neets and I would find ways to cope and maintain the balance of the home.


_____________________________

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Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

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RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 5:28:14 AM   
thishereboi


Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline 		According to your profile...

All though this slavegirl is currently owned, and tattooed with a kef, sadly, on both parties part, my Masters circumstances have changed due to work committments.  my Master desires to rehome His slavegirl to a Master with considerable experience.

So, is he dumping you because of the depression or because of his work commitment? And if he is dumping you, why is he involved in your search for a new master?

Sorry, but your op and your profile contradict each other.  But if it is like you are stating in your OP, I wouldn't worry about it. I don't think much of a person who would hold a medical condition against someone like that.


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RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 5:45:19 AM   
Saykiatric


Posts: 316
Joined: 6/15/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: loyalonlychild

Greetings.  my Master has been told that His slavegirl has Bi-Polar affective disorder.  Sadly He is unable to cope with the depressive side where this girl does not have much, if anything pleasant to say.   When girl is manic, most is in harmony, apart from trying to get girl to sleep....her mind is racing.  my Master is at his wits end, and this girl sinks lower into depression knowing her illness has caused all this headache for my Master.
This slavegirl would be gratefull for practical help, yes we have professionals ( vanillas ).  What would You do,?.  Would You release her only on the basis of her illness, ?.  Would You stand by her side and support Your slavegirl through therapy for 6 months,?.
Very interested to know Your feedback. Thank You. slavegirl kyun.


Were you aware of you were bi-polar when you met this Master? If so were you upfront about what was going on with you? 6 months of therapy? that is on the shortest end of a long term illness.By therapy I am sure you mean adjusting your medication. It depends how long you have been with this Master as to if he will stay or he will go what he has invested into you vs what what the storm he will has and will  have to weather. It is a grand thing when someone is telling you you do no wrong...however he has learned by now soon after you put him on that pedestal you are about to kick him off it. To say he cannot cope with everything your saying being negative that would include your Master he is only human.

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RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 5:51:55 AM   
realwhiteknight


Posts: 428
Joined: 7/13/2010
Status: offline 		Hm, I think like in any relationship, as people learn more about eachother and what they can and can't change, we realize the other person may not be for us. If he is making you feel insecure in your time of need, the breakup of the relationship is his fault too....Please don't blame your illness for the loss of him. Chalk it up to not being compatible!

Good luck and take care of your health!

< Message edited by realwhiteknight -- 8/4/2010 5:52:36 AM >

_____________________________

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Behind all things are reasons. Reasons can even explain the absurd. Do we have the time to learn the reasons behind the human being's varied behavior? I think not. Some take the time.

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RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 6:04:55 AM   
soul2share


Posts: 7084
Joined: 12/18/2007
From: somewhere out there.....
Status: offline 		Personally, I think he's a putz if he lets you go.  So what, you have a mental health disorder.....it is one that is reltively easy to manage, provided you are of the mind to take your meds and do what your docs want you to.  I take meds for depression, I will for the rest of my life, mainly because the person I was and the person I am now are two totally different people, and I do not want to be the person I was!  Does that make me inferior or damaged goods?  Hell, no, it's a part of me that no one really needs to be concerned with, and I'm the one in control of it.

If HE can't deal with it, then fine...get away from him, as you'll need people around you who aren't afraid to stand by you and give you support.  When dealing with something like this, you need to focus on YOURSELF first, and damn the rest.  This is the perfect time to be selfish....it's your well-being here at stake.  Don't be blaming yourself at this point...it is NOT your problem that he is incapable of supporting you when you need it.  You aren't "causing him a headache".....he's the one causing you the anguish by his actions.  Take care of yourself!

I would first and foremost get the medical attention you need, and not let the lifestyle shape your thoughts. 

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*Not a fuck was given.*

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RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 6:14:01 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		He may be a putz, he may not.

I have stood by someone who had similar issues.

We, once again have only one side.

How is this...........

" I have a slave who after 5 months together told me she is bi-polar. I was shocked and when I ask why she waited so long she told me she was afraid I would reject her."

" She is getting help and is often ok, yet I still feel lied to and mislead" What would you do?"

I am not saying this is what happened. I am saying it is possible.

_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

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RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 6:49:29 AM   
texangael


Posts: 167
Joined: 12/14/2009
Status: offline
quote:

Greetings. my Master has been told that His slavegirl has Bi-Polar affective disorder. Sadly He is unable to cope with the depressive side where this girl does not have much, if anything pleasant to say. When girl is manic, most is in harmony, apart from trying to get girl to sleep....her mind is racing. my Master is at his wits end, and this girl sinks lower into depression knowing her illness has caused all this headache for my Master.
This slavegirl would be gratefull for practical help, yes we have professionals ( vanillas ). What would You do,?. Would You release her only on the basis of her illness, ?. Would You stand by her side and support Your slavegirl through therapy for 6 months,?.
Very interested to know Your feedback. Thank You. slavegirl kyun.


Anyone who comes into my house comes also as friend or they do not come at all.  Regardless of what else, I stand by my friends.

That does not mean I would maintain a slave as a slave if her mental state was such that it interfered with a successful power exchange dynamic--successful for both sides.  It does mean that, slave or no, I would be supportive of her through her treatments, and would work to ensure she stayed compliant with the prescribed medication regimens.

Ultimately, what I would or would not do depends entirely on the particulars of the slave and the particular nature of the relationship.  I have released slaves whose issues in my estimation made a power exchange dynamic unhealthy for them and perhaps also for me.  I have released slaves who refused to confront their issues and maintain a proper therapeutic regimen.  I have sustained slaves who were going though dark times and not released them.

One thing I will say--your condition did not "cause" any grief for your master.  He chose you.  He chose the risks associated with taking you as a slave.  He chose the consequences, both known and unknown.  You did not choose your condition.

Regardless of what your master is or is not able to sustain, what you must remember is that your mental health and your frame of mind are always obligations you have to yourself over any other commitment.  Do not let the therapy and treatment slide because your master says he can't cope. 


_____________________________

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Corny movie cliche that just happens to be true.

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RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 7:02:14 AM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: loyalonlychild

Greetings.  my Master has been told that His slavegirl has Bi-Polar affective disorder.  Sadly He is unable to cope with the depressive side where this girl does not have much, if anything pleasant to say.   When girl is manic, most is in harmony, apart from trying to get girl to sleep....her mind is racing.  my Master is at his wits end, and this girl sinks lower into depression knowing her illness has caused all this headache for my Master.
This slavegirl would be gratefull for practical help, yes we have professionals ( vanillas ).  What would You do,?.  Would You release her only on the basis of her illness, ?.  Would You stand by her side and support Your slavegirl through therapy for 6 months,?.
Very interested to know Your feedback. Thank You. slavegirl kyun.



It can take awhile to find the correct medication and therapy (usually some kind of cognitive-behavioral therapy) that will be effective. You (the slave girl) were most likely ill before you became his slave or did it only manifest itself after being owned... (you may have had years with no depressive symptoms).
There is some missing information: How long did you know each other before the committment was made?
How long have you been under treatment with medication management?
Have you been treated before?
Have you gone off your medication before and if so why?

The title of the thread reflects a lot of pain.
I am sorry for your pain.

It is true though that we only have one side... having more information would be helpful.

edit duplicate sentence.

< Message edited by angelikaJ -- 8/4/2010 7:03:09 AM >

_____________________________

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(as deemed by He who owns me)

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RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 7:30:59 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		You need to focus on yourself first. A creep who would drop you because you aren't manic all the time is not someone who is healthy for you to be with.

You shouldn't be manic or hypomanic or depressed. The hope is that the medication can bring you to a level mood. So what then; you won't be depressed but you also won't be manic. So he won't want you.

Honestly, drop him now and live by yourself without him. Deal with the medication trials and then discover who the new you is, the one who isn't a raging slut when manic and incapable of doing anything when depressed. The one who can enjoy simple pleasures and who will want someone worthy of her. Instead of what you have now, a creep who has a vested interest in you not getting well. Be glad he's shown his true colors and run.


_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!


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RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 8:07:20 AM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

He may be a putz, he may not.

I have stood by someone who had similar issues.

We, once again have only one side.

How is this...........

" I have a slave who after 5 months together told me she is bi-polar. I was shocked and when I ask why she waited so long she told me she was afraid I would reject her."

" She is getting help and is often ok, yet I still feel lied to and mislead" What would you do?"

I am not saying this is what happened. I am saying it is possible.


Bingo. I  know of two different men who experienced this, with two different women.  In both cases, she didn't tell him she had bi-polar.  In both cases she stopped her meds.  In both cases, her manic episodes became extreme, to the point of violence and threats of violence.  In both cases, these men had to let her go for their own mental health (and in one case, the well being of his child).

Let's not all jump to conclusions about what a creep this guy is.  If you've ever lived with someone with this condition, who refused treatment, you might think differently.  The OP is saying "therapy for 6 months."  6 months is only a start. 

I know something about bi-polar, as I have two siblings and a cousin who have this awful condition.  The two siblings are faithfully sticking to treatment plans, although my brother strayed from his treatment for awhile and it almost cost him his family.  My poor sister-in-law could not handle his mania and raise two children and keep a healthy home with all that going on.  Upon the threat of losing his family, he jumped back on board and is committed to staying on plan.  The cousin is not, and has made life hell for everyone who has tried to help her. 

It's really not so cut and dry, folks.

To the OP, what are you doing for yourself, regarding your condition?  Are you taking accountability for your own treatment?  Are you regularly taking your medication and are you committed to remaining in treatment?   You say you have professionals but I don't know what that means, exactly.  Therapists?  Psychiatrists?  MDs?  How long have  you been in treatment so far?

There are a lot of unknowns here, which could make a huge difference in the situation.

I wish you the best.  


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to Jeffff)
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RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 8:13:38 AM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		Even if he did know, we don't know what behavior is causing the conflict. It is one thing to say you would stand by the side of someone with mental illness. It's another to do that and deal with the consequences. While, yes, it is ideal to help people in bad situations, there can be circumstances where the other person's behavior and actions are so detrimental, it is not possible to do that. I've been in that situation with someone that's bipolar. It can be a horrible disease that causes extreme changes in the person when it is not controlled.

_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

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RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 8:27:12 AM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I can only echo what NuevaVida and Laurell have already said.

My adult daughter has struggled with bipolar (at least that was the last 'professional' diagnosis) since her early teens. To say she was a challenge would be the understatement of the century. In many ways her husband is about as worthless as tits on a boar, in my eyes. BUT the way he copes with her and loves her, makes him golden. There is NO WAY I would tolerate the shit he has gone through. And she has been very proactive in her treatment and, compared to what I've read about others with the condition, is pretty mild. I just don't have the patience.

I need a peaceful home life for myself. I would not want someone that goes through dramatic emotional extremes creating disharmony and unbalance in my private life. I also will not bring that into the lives of my other loved ones. That doesn't make me a bad person. It makes me an aware and responsible person, in addition to, protective of those I love. I will let others be the white knights for those that suffer this type of mental illness.

< Message edited by LaTigresse -- 8/4/2010 8:28:44 AM >

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My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 9:13:00 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Add Me to the choir.  My answer to the whole situation would depend on a number of factors.  Was this hidden from Me or is this a brand new diagnosis?  How long has the person been collared to Me?  What other circumstances are revolving around this?

I've had a sub with bi-polar.  (Wasn't collared to Me, it's something that could have happened.)  I knew about his health up front and implemented the provision that meds had to be taken and therapy had to be attended.  This kept the drama down, but it's still challenging.  Off meds, I wouldn't have wanted him as a member of My household.  Had it been hidden from Me from the beginning, I might release someone.  That's a pretty big thing to keep from someone and the chaos that can ensue is nothing but difficult.

I would probably try to see if the situation was one that I could manage, but I'm also very aware of the life that I prefer to live.  I don't want continual issues.  If it came to that, I would have to get to the point where I would let the person go until they were in a more even state instead of the extreme highs and lows.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 9:23:59 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		Without going into a shit load of detail, my ex developed some issues about a year after we got married. After 3 years and ten's of thousands of dollars, those issues were resolved. I stood behind her the whole way. It was the honorable thing to do.


My brother married a woman who is Bi-polar.
She told him 2 months after the wedding....... after trashing the house.

She had known it for years, but couldn't get insurance. That was one of the reasons she married him.

I would have kicked her to the curb so fucking fast she would still be dizzy. He did not.

I see very little difference between that and with holding the fact that you are HIV positive.
Some things must be said up front.

For instance... Laurell came clean about her Eustachian tube disorder.....:)





< Message edited by Jeffff -- 8/4/2010 9:27:31 AM >

_____________________________

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RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 9:36:48 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: loyalonlychild

Greetings.  my Master has been told that His slavegirl has Bi-Polar affective disorder.  Sadly He is unable to cope with the depressive side where this girl does not have much, if anything pleasant to say.   When girl is manic, most is in harmony, apart from trying to get girl to sleep....her mind is racing.  my Master is at his wits end, and this girl sinks lower into depression knowing her illness has caused all this headache for my Master.
This slavegirl would be gratefull for practical help, yes we have professionals ( vanillas ).  What would You do,?.  Would You release her only on the basis of her illness, ?.  Would You stand by her side and support Your slavegirl through therapy for 6 months,?.
Very interested to know Your feedback. Thank You. slavegirl kyun.



The way I see it, having a disorder that is not your fault is not a character flaw, but I can understand that some people simply can't cope with it, I'd say it depends very much on the individuals and their bonds. I had a relationship with somebody who was manic depressive and had a substance abuse problem (booze) and I can say I would run a mile if I would encounter it ever again, because in the end it had me depressed and with a burn out syndrome. Depression is unfortunately a "sign of the times" and a lot of people suffer from it, as long as they are aware of it and work against falling into their black hole, nothing wrong with it, but anybody using a medical condition as an excuse to be taken care of without doing their part - I'm out of it. You can only help somebody who's willing to help him or herself and only to the extend where it starts to drag the person down who's helping. There is nothing gained if I ruin my life trying to help somebody who doesn't really want help...


_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to loyalonlychild)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 9:40:46 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

Without going into a shit load of detail, my ex developed some issues about a year after we got married. After 3 years and ten's of thousands of dollars, those issues were resolved. I stood behind her the whole way. It was the honorable thing to do.


My brother married a woman who is Bi-polar.
She told him 2 months after the wedding....... after trashing the house.

She had known it for years, but couldn't get insurance. That was one of the reasons she married him.

I would have kicked her to the curb so fucking fast she would still be dizzy. He did not.

I see very little difference between that and with holding the fact that you are HIV positive.
Some things must be said up front.

For instance... Laurell came clean about her Eustachian tube disorder.....:)







I think that is more a problem with the US health insurance that makes people go to desperate length to actually get treatment, I'm not applauding that she mislead your brother because it was dishonest, but how desperate must somebody be to marry somebody just to get insurance? As you can possibly tell, I am not a great fan of marriage anyway...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

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Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 9:47:29 AM   
laurell3


Posts: 6577
Joined: 5/5/2005
Status: offline 		I think it's also prudent to mention that a relationship is a poor substitute for real therapy and if someone is suffering from a severe mental illness, they aren't really in much of a position to be in a relationship until they are able to deal with their own health and well-being. I remember a long thread here where the Dom was convinced he could punish a mentally ill sub back to health. This really is not the best place for someone that is really THAT vulnerable in my opinion.


_____________________________

I cannot be defined by moments in my life, but must be considered for by the entirety of my existence.

When you fail to consider that I am the best judge for what is right for me, all of your opinions become suspect to me.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Broken Toys and aster's who can't cope... - 8/4/2010 9:55:02 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline 		A relationship can't be a substitute for therapy, but often taking away the relationship can be like pulling the ground out from underneath their feet. Give them time to stabilize and then let them decide would be the ideal option, though not always practical...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to laurell3)
Profile   Post #: 20
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