Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Bratty, Bedroom, just-a-bottom, do-me,fake, SAM, TFTB subs


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Bratty, Bedroom, just-a-bottom, do-me,fake, SAM, TFTB subs Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Bratty, Bedroom, just-a-bottom, do-me,fake, SAM, TF... - 8/7/2010 1:51:20 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

My question is this: For those of you who think negatively about these terms because they would not be dynamics YOU enjoy, why do you need to universalize this as somehow making another person an inferior D/s partner for everyone? Just curious


Looking at this portion from a different perspective I'll say it really has to do with that individual's point of view. For instance, earlier today on another site I watched several people "correct" someone about calling themselves a slave inappropriately when in their opinion she was probably a bedroom submissive. This was a personal post from her journal I had a different point of view. Whatever she is or is not is of no consequence to me because she isn't my submissive. I don't get off labeling people or telling them what they are/aren't when I'm not personally involved.

But some people live for that and I think there are more than a few that need to demean and point out differences in a negative context. On both sides of the coin I find it easier to say that individual isn't best suited for me but may be ideal for someone else.

~porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 21
RE: Bratty, Bedroom, just-a-bottom, do-me,fake, SAM, TF... - 8/7/2010 1:57:34 PM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania


quote:

ORIGINAL: NorthernGent

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I can envision myself



It's envisage Julia.

Envisage: 'to conceive'.

The question ain't no riddle.....and the answer really shouldn't need pointing out to you.




Thanks for the correction, although you are incorrect

envisage [ɪnˈvɪzɪdʒ]
vb (tr)
1. to form a mental image of; visualize; contemplate
2. to conceive of as a possibility in the future; foresee
3. Archaic to look in the face of; confront
[from French envisager, from en-1 + visage face, visage]

en·vi·sion (n-vzhn)
tr.v. en·vi·sioned, en·vi·sion·ing, en·vi·sions
To picture in the mind; imagine.



'Pleasure as always Julia. Have you 'pictured in your mind' the answer? We speak of what we know.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 22
RE: Bratty, Bedroom, just-a-bottom, do-me,fake, SAM, TF... - 8/7/2010 2:04:53 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I am not getting into pissing contests, but both can be used interchangeably in the US...

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Bratty, Bedroom, just-a-bottom, do-me,fake, SAM, TF... - 8/7/2010 2:04:58 PM   
Zevar


Posts: 801
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I just wanted to ask, what are the negative labels that dominants get tagged with, besides maybe "wannabe" or "fake"? Where are the threads labelled with terms meant to denigrate them? I am not suggesting that we come up with them, in fact I wouldn't like it if we did.


Labeling connotes categorizing for specific reasons. In part identification is required when attempting to understand someone in a deeper way. The derogatory terminology that separates women into different categories is all too common on a general level among society. Society reinforces this sort of categorizing thus name calling from the time of elementary school. Unfortunately there are various terms used, as you note, that categorize women which tend to alienate them into a category that limits their true identity. It is no less among society regarding terms that are used to categorized men.

While I do understand your position as is related to the various terms that categorize women do know that it is also true that for men in general there are terms that categorize all the same. We are at times considered to be abusive when in fact we are just being naturally dominant. We all called terms such as: womanizers, menz are dogs, players, macho jerks, Neanderthals, chauvinist pigs, sexist bastards, idiots, a boy and not a man, wannabe Dom, out of touch bastards, two headed pigs, thinking with our other head and of course lying bastards that women can never really trust like they can another woman. Obviously this list is not exhaustive in considering terminology and phrases that are commonly used toward men in derogatory ways.

It seems that the truth of the fact is that this is a 2 way street. Not only do women get categorized for specific purposes so do men similarly. I would say that this issue of categorizing is also to a degree subjective. Some men tend to fall into the river of collective consciousness without questioning prior to jumping in. While others do not and question prior to even stepping forward . I know that I surely do not tend to categorize women in general. Instead I get to the know whole person (woman) and do not base my impression of a woman solely from a collective agreed upon perspective. Nonetheless I remain sure of who I am as a man that is naturally dominant regardless of societal collective categorizing.

Take care good care of you!

< Message edited by Zevar -- 8/7/2010 2:39:39 PM >

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 24
RE: Bratty, Bedroom, just-a-bottom, do-me,fake, SAM, TF... - 8/7/2010 2:08:16 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: porcelaine

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

My question is this: For those of you who think negatively about these terms because they would not be dynamics YOU enjoy, why do you need to universalize this as somehow making another person an inferior D/s partner for everyone? Just curious


Looking at this portion from a different perspective I'll say it really has to do with that individual's point of view. For instance, earlier today on another site I watched several people "correct" someone about calling themselves a slave inappropriately when in their opinion she was probably a bedroom submissive. This was a personal post from her journal I had a different point of view. Whatever she is or is not is of no consequence to me because she isn't my submissive. I don't get off labeling people or telling them what they are/aren't when I'm not personally involved.

But some people live for that and I think there are more than a few that need to demean and point out differences in a negative context. On both sides of the coin I find it easier to say that individual isn't best suited for me but may be ideal for someone else.

~porcelaine


Thankfully, we do not have those discussions on this board very often...

I suppose it is a bugaboo for me, I mean look at my signature.... Once you label me you negate me.....



_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 25
RE: Bratty, Bedroom, just-a-bottom, do-me,fake, SAM, TF... - 8/7/2010 2:09:24 PM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I am not getting into pissing contests, but both can be used interchangeably in the US...



We're in the same boat then....as the last thing I would do is compete with anyone on a message board....or pretty much any other walk of life.

So.....how you can go to college and not understand how and why people generalise? It's an odd state of affairs.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Bratty, Bedroom, just-a-bottom, do-me,fake, SAM, TF... - 8/7/2010 2:11:04 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		How can you post continually try to derail a thread by getting personal, it is indeed a sad state of affairs when someone has so little to contribute to a discussion that they have to do so...




_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Bratty, Bedroom, just-a-bottom, do-me,fake, SAM, TF... - 8/7/2010 2:11:54 PM   
Malkinius


Posts: 1814
Joined: 1/9/2004
Status: offline 		Greetings julia....

You missed at least one. You forgot sub (bottom) with a title. That is used for the s-types who call themselves something, usually slave, when by their words and actions they are anything but. They can also call themselves sub when it is obvious they are only there for the kink play and what they get out of it...thus a bottom.

Yes....d-types do the same thing. Although, they usually just get called wannabe or wanker. <grins>

Be well....

Malkinius


_____________________________

A questioner by inclination...An Auctioneer for the fun of it
http://www.HouseMalkinius.com    The goal is community.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Bratty, Bedroom, just-a-bottom, do-me,fake, SAM, TF... - 8/7/2010 2:15:09 PM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

How can you post continually try to derail a thread by getting personal, it is indeed a sad state of affairs when someone has so little to contribute to a discussion that they have to do so...



Personal? Derail a thread?

You posed a question about generalisations.....your OP......you're curious....

In response....I'm saying it's fairly obvious....and...further....I'm suggesting human beings generalise as a matter of course...and surely you understand why that is.

Nothing personal Julia.

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Bratty, Bedroom, just-a-bottom, do-me,fake, SAM, TF... - 8/7/2010 2:16:00 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Malkinius

Greetings julia....

You missed at least one. You forgot sub (bottom) with a title. That is used for the s-types who call themselves something, usually slave, when by their words and actions they are anything but. They can also call themselves sub when it is obvious they are only there for the kink play and what they get out of it...thus a bottom.

Yes....d-types do the same thing. Although, they usually just get called wannabe or wanker. <grins>

Be well....

Malkinius



Thank you for coming out of Gor long enough to provide an example of what I was speaking of... very generous of you.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Malkinius)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Bratty, Bedroom, just-a-bottom, do-me,fake, SAM, TF... - 8/7/2010 2:17:17 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Picking on my grammar, not addressing the thread in your first post, and then making snarky comments on my level of education...

Oh yeah, that ain't personal at all.. my bad

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Bratty, Bedroom, just-a-bottom, do-me,fake, SAM, TF... - 8/7/2010 2:23:06 PM   
NorthernGent


Posts: 8730
Joined: 7/10/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Picking on my grammar, not addressing the thread in your first post, and then making snarky comments on my level of education...

Oh yeah, that ain't personal at all.. my bad



I wouldn't pick on you in a million years Julia.......although I would offer a response....as you've seen.

On a postive note...your thread's waiting for you....don't let me keep you :-)

_____________________________

I have the courage to be a coward - but not beyond my limits.

Sooner or later, the man who wins is the man who thinks he can.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Bratty, Bedroom, just-a-bottom, do-me,fake, SAM, TF... - 8/7/2010 2:24:55 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		Do you think that the power relationships between the genders is the reason that women are often labelled thusly?

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to Zevar)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Bratty, Bedroom, just-a-bottom, do-me,fake, SAM, TF... - 8/7/2010 2:32:30 PM   
Zevar


Posts: 801
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

Do you think that the power relationships between the genders is the reason that women are often labelled thusly?


Good Day Julia:

You raise an excellent question. I do believe that the perceived and actual power differences between gender(s) is precisely why categorization occurs on both sides of the street in relation to labeling.

Thank you for the thread Julia. I find the topic of great interest.

Take good care of you!

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Bratty, Bedroom, just-a-bottom, do-me,fake, SAM, TF... - 8/7/2010 2:47:54 PM   
plushiecat


Posts: 109
Joined: 12/18/2005
Status: offline 		--removed because julia already pointed out NorthernGent's error--


< Message edited by plushiecat -- 8/7/2010 2:51:00 PM >

(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Bratty, Bedroom, just-a-bottom, do-me,fake, SAM, TF... - 8/7/2010 2:58:01 PM   
sweetsub1957


Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

quote:

see a lot of times that D-types get called asshole, jerk, abusive, prick, wannabe, etc etc etc.


Find a thread labelled "asshole dominants" or "prick dominants"

I think it would be analogous if we had threads like he is "justa service top"

I didn't say the threads had that in their TITLES, I said that people call them that & that s-types don't have the corner on being called derogatory names. It's all across the board.

quote:

ORIGINAL: SylvereApLeanan
This.
And let us not forget the feminine side on which we have:

Fake
Prostitute
Gold digger
Whore
Leech
Parasite


Yes, male Dominants are NOT the only ones on the D side of the kneel that get insulted. EVERYONE gets insults thrown at them.

~sweetsub~

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Bratty, Bedroom, just-a-bottom, do-me,fake, SAM, TF... - 8/7/2010 3:07:57 PM   
porcelaine


Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

Yes, male Dominants are NOT the only ones on the D side of the kneel that get insulted. EVERYONE gets insults thrown at them.



The differences rest in who takes them to heart. I've never believed a stranger had the power or insight to define me. Their insults are akin to raindrops that fall by the wayside. You know yourself and their brief snapshot will never compare with that.

~porcelaine


_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to sweetsub1957)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Bratty, Bedroom, just-a-bottom, do-me,fake, SAM, TF... - 8/7/2010 3:18:30 PM   
CynthiaWVirginia


Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline
quote:

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

julia, I know this means something special to you but to many of us it just...doesn't.

I like labels.  Labels do not have to be put downs, just descriptions.  If I go to the store and want to buy an orange, it is labeled an orange and everyone knows what one is.  Nobody would hand me an apple and try to pass it off as an orange.  When I want an apple, I ask for one.

Same with people in the lifestyle.  Sometimes in my life, I want "just bottoms."  I get my groove on without having all the responsibilities and relationship issues that come with having a submissive.  I have no problem with having been labeled for a while as so-and-so's Top.  I have even been a service top when I wanted to learn something new and a sub or bottom had more experience.  At Fet, I labeled myself as a Top because I was not looking for a sub at that time and that's as far as I was willing to go when I made the profile.
 
What I need at this time in my life, again, is a submissive, not someone who wants only bedroom kink or is otherwise incompatible with my needs.  SAMS are not my kink...the masochistic part is fine, but someone needing to provoke punishment just wouldn't be compatible with my own needs.  I prefer to be asked for a beating, so to many SAMS I'd be no fun at all.
 
Some Doms have enjoyed being called a*sholes, pr*cks, or evilratbast*rds, many do not. 
 
I like the freedom labels can give...it can be an acceptance of self and of others, not just put downs or...burying one's head in the sand to preserve the illusion that everyone is the same.  I am not the same as others, and neither is my son.  I also like knowing if someone is Gorean or into Female Supremacy...I belong to neither group but these labels are not put downs.
 
We are all like some exotic fruit salad with some nuts added...I cannot pretend that we have all been put through some blender and are the same.  I also didn't see anything insulting about Malkinius' post.  His definition may not be yours but he did not insult you personally.
 
I am labeled by many things that do not diminish who I am:
I am female
I have PTSD (and no, I do not feel negated by this label)
I'm a non-smoker
I am a mother
I am caucasian
I'm over 40
I am overweight
 
I am who I am, and if someone chooses to think I am "not a twue Domme" it doesn't make me any less. 
 
Their opinion does not change who I am. 
 
 
 



(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Bratty, Bedroom, just-a-bottom, do-me,fake, SAM, TF... - 8/7/2010 3:24:27 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		Hello Julia,
There is a very real human tendency to create categories of "us versus them".  I often see this in the same way.  Also, people want to see themselves as "right" or "good" or "correct" which can often lead to the kind of categorizing of which you speak.  By drawing the line in the sand, they get to feel good about themselves. 

For me, water off a ducks back... although I understand that this one is your bugaboo.  I often say - meh, your thinking something doesn't make it true!

best,
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to porcelaine)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Bratty, Bedroom, just-a-bottom, do-me,fake, SAM, TF... - 8/7/2010 3:37:43 PM   
ExSteelAgain


Posts: 1803
Joined: 7/2/2006
From: Georgia
Status: offline 		I've never seen the word envisage used. I looked it up, too, and it's a synonym for envision. I have a pretty good academic background and always like to learn a new word. Thanks.

_____________________________

You can paint a cinder block bright pastel pink, but it's still a cinder block. (By Me.)

(in reply to NorthernGent)
Profile   Post #: 40
Page:   <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Bratty, Bedroom, just-a-bottom, do-me,fake, SAM, TFTB subs Page: <<   < prev  1 [2] 3 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.141