RE: Can A Dom And A Sub Just Be Friends?

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RE: Can A Dom And A Sub Just Be Friends? - 9/30/2010 3:21:09 PM

hereyesruponyou

Posts: 770
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I argue on the side of Snape as sub. He would really be happier if he just accepted his place :)

Thanks for mentioning Morticia Adams with Gomez as her very dedicated boy

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RE: Can A Dom And A Sub Just Be Friends? - 9/30/2010 3:30:59 PM

LadyRian

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All of my life I've been looking for my Gomez...I'm just a lost Morticia...with a bit darker skin tone, and without that amazing dress.
*sigh*

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Post #: 82

RE: Can A Dom And A Sub Just Be Friends? - 9/30/2010 3:41:39 PM

Fightdirecto

Posts: 1101
Joined: 8/3/2004
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Can a Dom/Domme and a sub just be friends?

Maybe - if the sub is either some other Dom/Domme's sub or is unattached.

From personal experience it is easily possible for a Dom/Domme to be both friend and Dom/Domme to their own sub.

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RE: Can A Dom And A Sub Just Be Friends? - 9/30/2010 4:43:37 PM

porcelaine

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Typhon1984

He's a nice guy. I've talked with him a little bit and we have a bit in common. If I didn't sense him as competition, we'd probably be friends. But he's still another Dom...

However, she told me that he thinks that she shouldn't be subject to me since I'm too new to the scene and that she needs someone who can train her proper.

Greetings Typhon,

Perhaps you should look at your question from a different perspective to shed light on the situation. If you were not involved in kink activities and the comments came from a well meaning male friend of hers how would you receive the remarks? A prudent partner would keep a watchful eye and make certain his companion was not negatively impacted by the other individual's presence. If you encounter continued instances of behavior that seeks to negate or undermine your authority it should be addressed appropriately. However, losing your cool and allowing the offensive party to incite anger will only validate his assessment of your inexperience. Therefore, be direct in your speech but do so without sacrificing your character in the process.

In addition, use the situation as an opportunity for growth and bonding between you and your submissive. This is an excellent teaching tool that can be applied to those within the lifestyle and outside of it. While you'll be implementing parameters, emphasize how the relationship benefits when both parties are mindful of outside distractions and potentially harmful entities that could erode what you're building. Also, be aware of your own feelings and insecurities and address them together. You can aid the other and allow the situation to strengthen your bond rather than place a wedge where none was intended. I wish you well.

Namaste,

~porcelaine

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RE: Can A Dom And A Sub Just Be Friends? - 9/30/2010 10:40:55 PM

Pyramus

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quote:

ORIGINAL: Typhon1984
My instincts tell me to rip this guy in half

All guys are in competition with each other at all times. What makes this an exception?

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RE: Can A Dom And A Sub Just Be Friends? - 10/1/2010 1:50:40 AM

ranja

Posts: 2111
Joined: 11/1/2007
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I roam around here and i chat to Doms... my Husband is ok with that... just email and chat though, no phone or cam... and most definitely no real meetings.
Occasionally He might ask what is being chatted about and sometimes i am embarrassed to say... often i get real hot ideas... sometimes the cyber Dom is a wanker... there are a few of them around here; then the contact does not last long.
Anyway i can only be here 'cos my Husband lets me, He could easily ban me from the computer... He has the power, He pays attention but He is not a jealous type.
He has no interest what so ever to talk to any cyber Dom Himself.
it works good for us

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RE: Can A Dom And A Sub Just Be Friends? - 10/1/2010 2:17:37 AM

BreePix

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Joined: 8/12/2007
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please forgive me if i missed anything importent, i just grazed through the pages and really only read the OP's post, as a sub i have many Dom/Domme friends i am just friends with, HOWEVER this is a big HOWEVER my Master knows about every single one of them and has become friends with them as well. as an owned sub i would never contact another Dom without my Master saying it is okay. so i think its possible but if you are worried about it become friends as well with who your sub is talking to.

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RE: Can A Dom And A Sub Just Be Friends? - 10/1/2010 4:16:25 PM

ShamanicWolf

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Joined: 9/30/2010
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Yes i think they can, such friendship is harder than any form of relationship as i feel it takes more energy to be true to a friendship as it more a prismatic form of flow.

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RE: Can A Dom And A Sub Just Be Friends? - 10/2/2010 6:23:56 AM

TrollovHumanity

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Joined: 9/28/2010
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You can tell someone not to do something.

You can't tell someone not to think something.

If I was you I might be upset or sad that she wants another person (if this be the case). You might realize though that giving her the freedom and trust to explore other people, or have the freedom to behave the way she does around them without criticism, may bring her closer to you.

I say if someone likes you they like you. It needn't be more complicated or confusing than that.

< Message edited by TrollovHumanity -- 10/2/2010 6:25:10 AM >

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RE: Can A Dom And A Sub Just Be Friends? - 10/2/2010 7:23:57 AM

wandersalone

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hmmm the OP hasn't been back since the day he posted this question in August. I wish there was a way of finding out how all of these issues play out

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RE: Can A Dom And A Sub Just Be Friends? - 10/2/2010 7:24:26 AM

ManyColorsOnYou

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Joined: 9/4/2010
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After reading all of the posts I come to one simple conclusion, she “knows” she is clay wanting to be molded… He senses this and fancies himself as the best person to get their hands dirty shaping her… (very unfortunately for you it will be done to his tastes)

The best advice I feel I can offer:
1). Sit down with your sub and verify that she is yours for the long-haul.
2). Define a set of rules for your house. (Great resource: Manual Creation: Defining the Structure of an M/s Household by Machele Kindle (AKA: MasterFireMaam on CollarMe))
3). Based on “Your” set of rules talk to him. You may need to end it before things get out of hand.

If you are a “couple”, underscore this by using the couples profile option.

Best of luck to both of you.

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RE: Can A Dom And A Sub Just Be Friends? - 10/2/2010 4:57:21 PM

submitting4U

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Yes it is possible but in my own experience there are limitations to these friendships. The limits involve the real intimacies between friends, which can be hard to realize if a dominant is reluctant to feel vulnerable before a sub. In truth, most doms do not respect submissive folks, rather seeing us as pathetically weak. Contrarily, some subs lose respect for doms who they see as "human," vis a vis their vulnerabilities.

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Post #: 92