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RE: An intolerance I *didn't know I had*... - 9/4/2010 5:50:36 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		This thread has got me SERIOUSLY thinking...and it hurts

I used to classify myself as 100% straight. Then I realised that I flirt outrageously with male and female friends. Would I ever kiss another woman in a sexual way? Dunno...but the idea doesn't repulse me at all. After all, lips is lips, right?

Would I ever want to make love with another woman? Hell no! The idea is quite..squicky to me. So where to I draw the line? I honestly don't know.

But as for my partner - he needs to be straight. I'm one of those weird women who likes and NEEDS their dominant to be 100% domly-masculine-hetero. I don't know why. I can't explain it at all. But that's how my brain is wired...

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RE: An intolerance I *didn't know I had*... - 9/4/2010 6:51:30 AM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline
quote:

On another forum far far away..... there seem to be (kinky) people who are asexual. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around that. Trying very hard.


I remember a thread like that here.... long long ago...

There was one particular poster who had a great deal of trouble accepting that many of us wouldn't be able to "tolerate" an asexual partner. I thought it was very odd.

< Message edited by juliaoceania -- 9/4/2010 6:53:52 AM >

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RE: An intolerance I *didn't know I had*... - 9/4/2010 7:38:01 AM   
DesFIP


Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline 		I have no problem with VC being intolerant of me. I'm 100% straight. I'm also 100% monogamous. I don't find other people sexually attractive when I'm bonded.

I don't bond with bisexual males either. Nor poly types.

I have no problem with other people being true to their nature and if that means bisexuality to any degree, the more power to them. I do have problems when they insist I cannot be true to my nature.

The problem I find is that people believe since I'm not even bicurious or heteroflexible that I must be intolerant of those who are. Actually, I've spent most of my life in a gay community and am most comfortable there. I have no problem with nudity etc. I just know who I am.


< Message edited by DesFIP -- 9/4/2010 7:42:16 AM >

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RE: An intolerance I *didn't know I had*... - 9/4/2010 7:40:49 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: myotherself

This thread has got me SERIOUSLY thinking...and it hurts

Whoops-sorry, bunny, didn't mean to hurt you. (this is my innocent face-is it working? )

quote:


I used to classify myself as 100% straight. Then I realised that I flirt outrageously with male and female friends. Would I ever kiss another woman in a sexual way? Dunno...but the idea doesn't repulse me at all. After all, lips is lips, right?

That's the level of bisexuality I'm talking about-casual bisexuality, maybe :P

quote:


But as for my partner - he needs to be straight. I'm one of those weird women who likes and NEEDS their dominant to be 100% domly-masculine-hetero. I don't know why. I can't explain it at all. But that's how my brain is wired...

I'm seeing a common theme here. Would you (generic you-I'd be interested in seeing answers from everyone) see a man as being less dominant if he were bisexual? Even if he was all hunky and bear-ish and growly and built like a brick shithouse?

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RE: An intolerance I *didn't know I had*... - 9/4/2010 7:42:13 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I have no problem with other people being true to their nature and if that means bisexuality to any degree, the more power to them. I do have problems when they insist I cannot be true to my nature.

Nobody's insisting that you can't be true to your nature-just that we probably wouldn't make ideal relationship partners

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RE: An intolerance I *didn't know I had*... - 9/4/2010 7:49:56 AM   
SylvereApLeanan


Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline
quote:

Is your partner bi? Very, ish, vaguely, not at all?

My girl is bi; my two male partners are as straight as it gets.

quote:

Do you care either way? Does their orientation matter to you/bother you? (Other than the obvious fact that they fancy *you* )

Nope.

quote:

Do you think *your* orientation (whatever it may be) matters to them?

Nope.

quote:

Am I the only person this matters to? Does anyone have any idea why it matters to me?

Nope and nope.

The only time monosexual people bother me at all is when they try to make me feel inferior, denegrate my choices, or are otherwise assholes toward me because my sexual orientation isn't what they think it should be.

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(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
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RE: An intolerance I *didn't know I had*... - 9/4/2010 7:50:16 AM   
Twoshoes


Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I don't find other people sexually attractive when I'm bonded.


Hmm, see, that's never happened to me. I didn't realize that was even possible.

I always thought everyone finds people attractive still, but doesn't act on it out of respect for their relationship.

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
I'm seeing a common theme here. Would you (generic you-I'd be interested in seeing answers from everyone) see a man as being less dominant if he were bisexual? Even if he was all hunky and bear-ish and growly and built like a brick shithouse?

I'm starting to get worried about this myself...

This is kind of like the thing in the switch forum, where if someone even has the idea of remotely being a switch, they automatically don't qualify.

...

I'm hoping it is a generational thing.

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RE: An intolerance I *didn't know I had*... - 9/4/2010 7:59:52 AM   
SubPet715


Posts: 337
Joined: 8/24/2010
From: Brooklyn, NY
Status: offline 		My former domme was a bisexual switch, the only thing I can remember thinking was I did not want to see her being dominated. Not for any sort of "lose respect" situation but it brings up a protective side to me that wishes to enforce the role in which I have become used to. She would often talk of it and it didn't do anything to me, didn't think much about it, just told her I didn't want to see it because it made me uncomfortable and she understood.

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RE: An intolerance I *didn't know I had*... - 9/4/2010 8:14:27 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes

quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

I don't find other people sexually attractive when I'm bonded.


Hmm, see, that's never happened to me. I didn't realize that was even possible.

I always thought everyone finds people attractive still, but doesn't act on it out of respect for their relationship.


I can't speak for Des, but for Me, the difference is specifically the mention of the word 'sexual'.

I can look at a person and acknowledge the fact that they are attractive.  At the same time, they are not sexually attractive to Me.  It's the difference between saying "she's a pretty girl" and "damn, she's hot".


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RE: An intolerance I *didn't know I had*... - 9/4/2010 8:20:33 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

I can't speak for Des, but for Me, the difference is specifically the mention of the word 'sexual'.

I can look at a person and acknowledge the fact that they are attractive.  At the same time, they are not sexually attractive to Me.  It's the difference between saying "she's a pretty girl" and "damn, she's hot".


You're telling me that if Peon walked into the room you wouldn't say 'damn, he's hot'?

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RE: An intolerance I *didn't know I had*... - 9/4/2010 8:28:53 AM   
CaringandReal


Posts: 1397
Joined: 2/15/2008
Status: offline 		I don't care what gender my partners are. I don't care if they are bisexual. Nor do I care if they fuck others besides me or what gender those others are. I don't even care if they fuck such people in front of me (in fact an emotionally masochistic part of myself would probably love that). However... I am personally most comfortable with one-on-one single-partner sex. Group situations in which I must "perform" (for me, it's never "participate") make me feel very uncomfortable, stressed, unhappy, and never sexy. I can't relax enough to feel sexual. Instead, my emotions shut down, and I go through the motions. It has something to do with my disliking of groups in general, I think, a dislike I cannot remember ever being without. I have trouble dealing socially with more than one person at a time--on the inside, anyway. I can do it, and in fact I think I do it quite brilliantly at times (gauging by the fans I acquire when I turn on the charm in order to make a group of people feel comfortable and happy) but inside it holds no appeal. And if I have to do it sexually, I will get through it for the sake of keeping the others happy but I will usually pay a heavy price for it later. Most poly living situatios hold no appeal for me, naturally, although if I met someone extraordinarily compatible and they were in such an arrangement, I'd find a way to join the club and be happy with it. One poly situation I don't think I'd have trouble with, although it certainly doesn't come along every day, is a two-dom couple.

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RE: An intolerance I *didn't know I had*... - 9/4/2010 8:46:03 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
You're telling me that if Peon walked into the room you wouldn't say 'damn, he's hot'?

The difference being, peon is male.  Completely different reaction if someone is female.  The 'hot' descriptor doesn't even engage in the brain.

While we were monogamous, it wouldn't even click in for males.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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Profile   Post #: 52
RE: An intolerance I *didn't know I had*... - 9/4/2010 8:48:18 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
You're telling me that if Peon walked into the room you wouldn't say 'damn, he's hot'?

The difference being, peon is male.  Completely different reaction if someone is female.  The 'hot' descriptor doesn't even engage in the brain.


Yeah, but I think Des was talking about everyone-not just women.

quote:

While we were monogamous, it wouldn't even click in for males.


That's what Twoshoes was asking about-so being monogamous meant that you didn't fancy anybody else at all?

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RE: An intolerance I *didn't know I had*... - 9/4/2010 8:56:45 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Very much so.  However, I'm probably a hideous example to use because of how high I place fidelity.  (I'm sure that seems odd for someone who is currently poly to say.)  Also, it's always been extremely rare for Me to ever be attracted to somebody solely on the outside package.  So, in a case like peon's (I almost feel bad talking about him while he isn't here) it's not the body that actually makes him attractive.  It's all of the other stuff that makes him a hot ticket.  

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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Profile   Post #: 54
RE: An intolerance I *didn't know I had*... - 9/4/2010 9:12:19 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

I'm seeing a common theme here. Would you (generic you-I'd be interested in seeing answers from everyone) see a man as being less dominant if he were bisexual? Even if he was all hunky and bear-ish and growly and built like a brick shithouse?


That would depend (doesn't it always!)

If he was with me, and 100% monogamous, then I'd have no problem with him being bi.

However I've had a discussion with a male bi friend of mine, who has been very happily married to his wife for 20 years or so. During that time he swears he's remained faithful, although he is an incorrigible flirt. One drunken night I asked him "don't you miss cock?"...and he said yes, he did. Sometimes he missed it really badly, but because he knew it would hurt his wife for him to play away, he wouldn't go through with sorting the problem.

Now MY problem would be - could I be with a man who craved another male for sex? Could I cope with knowing that I was effectively asking him to deny part of his sexuality to be with me? I know I couldn't cope with my partner having sex with anyone but me, regardless of gender.

It's a big responsibility to carry...and I'm not sure I'm up to it.

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RE: An intolerance I *didn't know I had*... - 9/4/2010 9:42:26 AM   
SubPet715


Posts: 337
Joined: 8/24/2010
From: Brooklyn, NY
Status: offline 		Don't women have equipment for that?

I wonder if a strap-on is good enough for a bisexual man with a female partner.

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Profile   Post #: 56
RE: An intolerance I *didn't know I had*... - 9/4/2010 9:44:25 AM   
myotherself


Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline 		A strap-on might do it, but hell will freeze over before I shove one in a guy's arse!



edited for typo

< Message edited by myotherself -- 9/4/2010 9:45:04 AM >

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RE: An intolerance I *didn't know I had*... - 9/4/2010 10:25:32 AM   
Twoshoes


Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SubPet715

Don't women have equipment for that?

I wonder if a strap-on is good enough for a bisexual man with a female partner.


Not remotely the same thing.

It's not about the "equipment" anyway. Men have a different "energy". Something about an implied and sometimes controlled aggressiveness.

I fully expect to see a neck muscle stiffen while a guy is kissing, regardless of how gentle he's being. That's the beauty of it.

Then again, this is my personal perspective on things and clearly not many people agree. I don't want to kiss just anybody either.

< Message edited by Twoshoes -- 9/4/2010 10:31:59 AM >

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RE: An intolerance I *didn't know I had*... - 9/4/2010 10:27:35 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SubPet715

Don't women have equipment for that?

I wonder if a strap-on is good enough for a bisexual man with a female partner.

This is just for information's sake.  I hope it won't be TMI.

In the past, I had a sub who was bi-sexual.  Great fun for the kind of play that I like, but not a fantastic match in other areas of compatibility.  There were certain things that he wanted in life that just weren't going to mesh.  We did stay friendly and I hear from him every so often.  The best way to describe his tastes would be "orally bi".

For him in particular, the strap-on thing didn't quite measure up.  Pretty much, I suppose the same way that other people who actually enjoy oral sex with a flesh and blood human being wouldn't be all that happy with a plastic only alternative.  Put yourself in those shoes.  If you enjoy giving oral to women, would you really be happy with only with one of those plastic pocket pussy toys for the rest of your days?


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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Profile   Post #: 59
RE: An intolerance I *didn't know I had*... - 9/4/2010 10:32:54 AM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SubPet715

I wonder if a strap-on is good enough for a bisexual man with a female partner.

I doubt it. Having sex with a man is different from having sex with a woman in more ways than just the parts.

But not all bisexual people need both-for some people sex is just more about the person than the equipment-it's like not much caring if you end up with a blonde or a brunette.

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Profile   Post #: 60
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