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RE: Having the right vs being in the right (Rant) - 9/10/2010 12:33:27 PM   
MastrVran


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quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Another thing not brought into the discussion, at least not that I've seen, is that many people will not be polite towards someone they think poorly of. Some people will not be polite to someone they've no respect for. The OP may be reading some posts that has a flavour of "I think the OP is an idiot so I do not feel inclined to be polite to such a putz".......

I know I am guilty of the above. There are some posters I will gleefully be impolite towards and yet others, that I would feel horrible if they took my posts wrongly and felt I was being rude towards them...... aka, humour gone wrong. It happens...

OR, since I've only seen him posting here just recently, perhaps he is misreading some of the good natured joking around that COULD be perceived wrongly, by someone that was unaware of the relationships between posters.



Excellent points.

What started this of course was a person being insulting and antagonistic in Ask a Master. They demanded to only get a Master's responses, which naturally lead to all the replies being of the "Up yours" type. But since everyone then went into their own rants about how dare anyone even think of excluding their own valuable opinions, it started me thinking about what if scenarios. What if someone asked politely and actually was seeking a specific veiwpoint? Was this a horrible idea? Would not the Polite thing to do be to allow it?

Now this was the background for my question. There was little joking involved other than those replying patting each other on the back for a good slam here and there. Not that I blamed them lol. Being a jerk about anything leads others to see you that way and respond in kind.

Yet the basic idea, once you stripped away the stupidity of the original approach intrigued me enough to discuss it with people I knew and then over time caused me to ask the question I did here. I knew going in most would have an issue with this because the standard person asking that is being excluding and making a mockery of things. But is the basic idea itself wrong? I do not think so. I also think if it was asked because of a desire to have a specific mindset answer it, we could be polite and let it go as just that. But this address just the concept itself. As I have stated often, and Twoshoes pointed out maybe way too often lol, My own beliefs are to allow all to respond and get a bigger, fuller, richer, information pool to draw from.

Yet even so, if someone truly wanted just one mindsets views, is that wrong? I cannot say it is. I could say it seems to be taking the chance you will miss useful information as most of us would agree it will. But that still does not make the desire or request wrong. Just probably short sighted.

MV

PS if I misread or misinterpreted your post I apologize. I should not have resorted to pointing out things in it that I considered insulting, I should have stuck to the points as dealing with the topic itself.

MV

< Message edited by MastrVran -- 9/10/2010 12:36:32 PM >

(in reply to LaTigresse)
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RE: Having the right vs being in the right (Rant) - 9/10/2010 12:38:05 PM   
Twoshoes


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quote:

ORIGINAL: MastrVran
What if someone asked politely and actually was seeking a specific veiwpoint? Was this a horrible idea? Would not the Polite thing to do be to allow it?



Look at this thread. It worked fairly well for the OP.
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3377822

(in reply to MastrVran)
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RE: Having the right vs being in the right (Rant) - 9/10/2010 12:40:28 PM   
MastrVran


Posts: 354
Joined: 3/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: MastrVran

Now was this off topic? Probably, yet it arose in Ask a Master so that was where I placed it since most of the people replying obviously read that area. It therefore was not a lets talk about religion or cars thread. It dealt with how people who were in a specific area such as Ask a Master would ask a Master and request a Masters response and get answers on how their cats breath smelled from a Non-Master.

Anyway thanks for your points.

MV



Just FYI - it's considered off-topic because it deals with how people post on the message board and not BDSM/lifestyle/*insert your favorite term here*. While this specific thread was prompted by a thread in "ask a master", this sort of issue comes up in all the forums so it's probably fairest to put it here.



Lol no arguement.

MV

(in reply to AquaticSub)
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RE: Having the right vs being in the right (Rant) - 9/10/2010 12:48:46 PM   
MastrVran


Posts: 354
Joined: 3/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes

quote:

ORIGINAL: MastrVran
What if someone asked politely and actually was seeking a specific veiwpoint? Was this a horrible idea? Would not the Polite thing to do be to allow it?



Look at this thread. It worked fairly well for the OP.
http://www.collarchat.com/fb.asp?m=3377822


Thanks. I freely admit I do not read all forums. So I am sure some people will at some time have made a request that worked out. Though she really did not make a point of asking just one set of people other than by being in a forum that was geared toward Ladies as in Ask a Mistress, including that as her heading. And then in her follow up post included the rest of the women. So possibly by omitting Men in her post as in not specifically addressing them, she was asking them not to answer? Or did I miss her saying lets limit this to us girls?

MV

(in reply to Twoshoes)
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RE: Having the right vs being in the right (Rant) - 9/10/2010 12:53:26 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		I believe that she was interested in the replies from one specific group but also acknowledging that others just might have something of value to contribute. At least that is how I read it.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

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RE: Having the right vs being in the right (Rant) - 9/10/2010 12:59:42 PM   
VaguelyCurious


Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
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quote:

ORIGINAL: MastrVran

Yet even so, if someone truly wanted just one mindsets views, is that wrong? I cannot say it is.

And again, I disagree. The polite thing to do in that situation would be to accept answers from all comers equally, and then only pay attention to those from the mindset you require without publically stating that you are doing so. That way other readers of the thread get the full benefit of a broad spectrum of answers and nobody is offended.

Any other behaviour on an open forum is impolite.


_____________________________

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RE: Having the right vs being in the right (Rant) - 9/10/2010 1:02:02 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: MastrVran

Yet even so, if someone truly wanted just one mindsets views, is that wrong? I cannot say it is.

And again, I disagree. The polite thing to do in that situation would be to accept answers from all comers equally, and then only pay attention to those from the mindset you require without publically stating that you are doing so. That way other readers of the thread get the full benefit of a broad spectrum of answers and nobody is offended.

Any other behaviour on an open forum is impolite.



What she said.

It's not wrong to only want one group - though I'd consider it misguided and faulty for information gathering. But what is wrong or right and what is polite are different things. You can be in the right and still be a rude jerk. And if one is rude, they get rudeness back.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
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RE: Having the right vs being in the right (Rant) - 9/10/2010 1:07:27 PM   
MastrVran


Posts: 354
Joined: 3/15/2006
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quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
Furthermore, I still don't see why people who are so gung-ho about only getting answers from one group would select this forum. One where the mods have repeatedly stated we can all post anywhere, instead of one designed for just masters/subs/slaves/etc.


In theory I agree. However, why did those who want everyone to post in every forum then name specific Forums Ask a Master, Ask a Mistess, etc. If the purpose was not to lead people to ask specific people? Why not just have one forum called ask your BDSM questions here?

And if its ok to ask any question or post anything you wish, why would we move a topic since posting anything anwhere and to anyone is ok? The answer is obvious. They want specific topics dealing with questions addressed to specific people of certain mindsets, so posts which do not directly address that are moved. Yet they never took the next obvious step and tried to also limit the responses. So topics we limit. Responses we dont. They own the site. Their rules. But there is an obvious discrepancy. Yet because of this, some people come into a Forum named ask a Master and think maybe a Master should answer them. There are forums where if I wanted a Mistress to answer me I could go. It is named ask a Mistress.

I guess the problem may be that because of how this was layed out, it has lead to some confusion. The good thing is we will always have people willing to tell us why this forum is named "Ask a Master" but it means "Ask a Master" and get a slaves responce, or a submissives, or a Mistresses, or a plumber, or oh wait, a Master responded. Collarme has all the information on this you could want posted. Most people do not bother reading any of it. So this is definately not Collarme's problem. Even assuming we consider it a problem at all. It is though an issue that requires ongoing discussion and correction of understandable mistakes.

MV


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RE: Having the right vs being in the right (Rant) - 9/10/2010 1:10:11 PM   
Lockit


Posts: 11292
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Status: offline 		Now we are getting to the real story here.

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RE: Having the right vs being in the right (Rant) - 9/10/2010 1:11:39 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		Because it seperates what the question is targeted at and seperates out the nature of the questions themselves so that the Goreans aren't hunting around for Gor discussions admist the political threads. However, everyone is allowed to post everywhere. It just organizes the questions so that they are easier to find.

If someone is so concerned about who answers the question, aren't they better served by a forum in which it is impossible to get answers from those they would be troubled by?

Edited to add: That slaves and subs post in Ask a Master has repeatedly been approved of by the CollarMe admins as they approve of doms and masters posting in Ask a Sub/Slave.

Isn't it odd that no one complains about the rude masters chatting in the Ask a sub/slave section? It's always about the master section. Like they gotta be protected from us evil subbies and our poisonous words or something.

< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 9/10/2010 1:16:08 PM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to MastrVran)
Profile   Post #: 170
RE: Having the right vs being in the right (Rant) - 9/10/2010 1:16:50 PM   
Twoshoes


Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline 		This politeness business isn't that straightforward.

For example:
I do return shopping carts back to the store very often.
But if everyone did that, the person employed to do so would get fired.
So, am I an inconsiderate bastard?
Or are my motivations based on a selfish need to drive around shopping carts and hear them rattle?

Is correcting your teacher a sign of consideration towards the other students' knowledge or disrespectful show of self-assurance?

Does it matter?

(I just figured you're running out of things to discuss.)

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 171
RE: Having the right vs being in the right (Rant) - 9/10/2010 1:33:31 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes
For example:
I do return shopping carts back to the store very often.
But if everyone did that, the person employed to do so would get fired.
So, am I an inconsiderate bastard?
Or are my motivations based on a selfish need to drive around shopping carts and hear them rattle?


I actually only return mine about half the time, having had friends whose jobs depended on people being dickish and not putting the carts back. And I want to be polite help my friends keep their jobs. See my halo, it's so pretty...

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Twoshoes)
Profile   Post #: 172
RE: Having the right vs being in the right (Rant) - 9/10/2010 1:38:15 PM   
KatyLied


Posts: 13029
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From: Pennsylvania
Status: offline
quote:

it has lead to some confusion.


I have never been confused regarding the operation of the forums.  It sounds as if you want everything in the world to bend to your rules and standards of conduct.  That is not realistic thinking.


_____________________________

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”
- Albert Einstein

(in reply to MastrVran)
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RE: Having the right vs being in the right (Rant) - 9/10/2010 1:47:10 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MastrVran
In theory I agree. However, why did those who want everyone to post in every forum then name specific Forums Ask a Master, Ask a Mistess, etc. If the purpose was not to lead people to ask specific people? Why not just have one forum called ask your BDSM questions here?

And if its ok to ask any question or post anything you wish, why would we move a topic since posting anything anwhere and to anyone is ok? The answer is obvious. They want specific topics dealing with questions addressed to specific people of certain mindsets, so posts which do not directly address that are moved. Yet they never took the next obvious step and tried to also limit the responses. So topics we limit. Responses we dont. They own the site. Their rules. But there is an obvious discrepancy. Yet because of this, some people come into a Forum named ask a Master and think maybe a Master should answer them. There are forums where if I wanted a Mistress to answer me I could go. It is named ask a Mistress.

I guess the problem may be that because of how this was layed out, it has lead to some confusion. The good thing is we will always have people willing to tell us why this forum is named "Ask a Master" but it means "Ask a Master" and get a slaves responce, or a submissives, or a Mistresses, or a plumber, or oh wait, a Master responded. Collarme has all the information on this you could want posted. Most people do not bother reading any of it. So this is definately not Collarme's problem. Even assuming we consider it a problem at all. It is though an issue that requires ongoing discussion and correction of understandable mistakes.

MV



Truthfully, the two forums for Dominants has never been My greatest cheer for this place.  Let's face it.  Unless we're talking about subjects such as those which are related to the physical body (such a prostate cancer, perhaps), there's very little that one gender has completely to their own realm than the other.  There wasn't a split between the genders when it came to submissives, as most questions that would be geared toward submissive aren't gender specific.  I really don't know why it wasn't treated the same.  (With the exception of using the Mistress board as some kind of hng section, but I digress.)

This very subject came up (about female Dominants posting in "Ask A Master") a couple of months back.  After which, I decided that I was going to make some personal observation on some threads.  That same week, someone came along asking how to tie a rope harness.  There were about nine responses to the thread, basically sending the person to reference material.  Could I have typed out how for a top to make one?  You bet I could.  Yet, I sat back and waited to see how long it would take for a male Dominant to make that contribution.  It never happened.

In the last two months, there have also been two threads in "Ask A Master" that were specific to the Atlanta area.  I've sat at the tables of the munches that those folks were looking for and I've attended the events that they were hoping to find.  I knew from personal experience what they wanted to know.  Right down to the name of who runs the munch and where to find the book rack in a particular shop.  There wasn't a different Master who was providing that information.  Just Me.

There shouldn't be any confusion because of the layout.  There is a guideline for every section.  The fact that folks place questions in the area that they most identify with (a male Dominant posting his question in "Master" for example) may not be the best fit, but still an accurate fit.




< Message edited by LadyPact -- 9/10/2010 1:54:21 PM >

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

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RE: Having the right vs being in the right (Rant) - 9/10/2010 1:47:11 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		This is one subject where I don't believe I have ever been confused either.

Then again, I am a realist!


_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to KatyLied)
Profile   Post #: 175
RE: Having the right vs being in the right (Rant) - 9/10/2010 1:50:50 PM   
ModTwentyOne


Posts: 2504
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MastrVran

If a Mod had a serious issue with my postings I am sure they would let me know.


It generally is not wise to presume what we would do.

By using this site, you agree to abide by the rules and guidelines. Perhaps you might wish to familiarize yourself with these guidelines, particularly the part about crossposting, which is immediately followed by the section on choosing the right forum to post in.



_____________________________

If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.

(in reply to MastrVran)
Profile   Post #: 176
RE: Having the right vs being in the right (Rant) - 9/10/2010 1:52:27 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
Isn't it odd that no one complains about the rude masters chatting in the Ask a sub/slave section? It's always about the master section. Like they gotta be protected from us evil subbies and our poisonous words or something.

I would have to say that we have the same in the Ask A Mistress section.  I think it's been over two years since we've had a thread that paralleled the 'only these people should reply' type discussions.  I'm not saying it's perfect, but it is rare for someone to pipe up "you're not a Domme, so you shouldn't post here" thing.

I can't say that I recall the last time that a monogamous person has been asked not to reply in the poly section.  Perhaps I'm not paying as much attention as I should.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 177
RE: Having the right vs being in the right (Rant) - 9/10/2010 1:54:09 PM   
LaTigresse


Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline 		Not to mention an 'On Topic' post in the 'Off Topic' Section.......sin of all sins!!!!

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 178
RE: Having the right vs being in the right (Rant) - 9/10/2010 1:58:56 PM   
SpiritedRadiance


Posts: 1341
Joined: 3/3/2010
Status: offline 		Lady Pact the Why do mono people attack poly people was the last Time I remember, I still dont understand why people assume because you choose X you have no idea or any information about y or z.

I also dont understand why people feel the need to go out of their way to act like grade schoolers and whine your opinion just isnt worth it your not a "insert title here"



_____________________________

"Theres nothing in life like the feeling of cool leather sliding over your skin, the tears that fill your eyes as you realize someone else thinks you deserve it even if you havent reached that conclusion yet"- Forever to remember 11/5/11

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 179
RE: Having the right vs being in the right (Rant) - 9/10/2010 2:11:03 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline 		 
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
Isn't it odd that no one complains about the rude masters chatting in the Ask a sub/slave section? It's always about the master section. Like they gotta be protected from us evil subbies and our poisonous words or something.

I would have to say that we have the same in the Ask A Mistress section.  I think it's been over two years since we've had a thread that paralleled the 'only these people should reply' type discussions.  I'm not saying it's perfect, but it is rare for someone to pipe up "you're not a Domme, so you shouldn't post here" thing.

I can't say that I recall the last time that a monogamous person has been asked not to reply in the poly section.  Perhaps I'm not paying as much attention as I should.



I've always felt comfortable posting in the "mistress" section. I usually don't but I can't recall anyone giving me shit for it. I've only seen one in the poly section and haven't personally seen any in the mistress section.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 180
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