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Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/14/2010 5:24:37 AM

Roger39m

Posts: 4
Joined: 2/21/2004
Status: offline

I see a lot of posts on several forums and sites about how subs should "approach Dommes" and how many "flakes and fakes" are out there. It is beyond argument that the number of male subs far outnumbers the number of Dommes on any site. This creates a situation where Dommes are able to set rules, etiquette standards etc. just in an effort to sift out the wheat from the chaff. Not that it is fair, it seems to the reality.

It is interesting to see Dommes commiserating on the various "cut and paste jobs" and how "stupid and insincere" the subs are. I wonder how much of this would remain, should the number of Dommes far outnumber the available male subs (this is not the case today). Obviously they can be as selective as they want in this situation, and apply rational and irrational selection criteria or no criteria at all. The male sub has to operate in this environment and learn how to do so very effectively or risk getting nothing at all.

It seems that this imbalance is here to stay and is not going away anytime soon. It is interesting to see that same rules do not apply in reverse. A female sub chasing a Male Dom still seems to have the "power" to reject or select in her hand, much in the way a Domme does for a male sub. In other words, whether it is a swing club, D/s site or wherever, the women still make the rules, whether they are Domme or a sub.

Post #: 1

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/14/2010 6:04:01 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Roger39m

It seems that this imbalance is here to stay and is not going away anytime soon. It is interesting to see that same rules do not apply in reverse. A female sub chasing a Male Dom still seems to have the "power" to reject or select in her hand, much in the way a Domme does for a male sub. In other words, whether it is a swing club, D/s site or wherever, the women still make the rules, whether they are Domme or a sub.

The gender ratio seems roughly the same. There are still more males than females so the females tend to have their pick of things. However, I have been among social groups where there more females than males. And in those groups the competition was either fierce or nonexistent. It just usually doesn't tend to work out that way, though I don't have a clue why.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Roger39m)

Post #: 2

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/14/2010 6:06:24 AM

SylvereApLeanan

Posts: 8275
Joined: 11/1/2007
From: Hell
Status: offline

Was there a question in there somewhere, or did you just plan to piss and moan and generally show your ass? Because this topic has been done to death long before you arrived on the scene to toss your little drop in the bucket.

It's good that you recognize that those who have the pussy make the rules and those who seek the pussy must abide by whatever rules are set, no matter how arbitrary. Because there's nothing a woman loves more than to see a grown man stop his feet and throw a tantrum like a toddler. It's so attractive; I can't imagine why you're still single.

_____________________________

Sylverë
Dark Muse
30 Fluffy Points
Grumpy Cat is my spirit animal.
Shadow Governess & Mean Girl

"There's something that doesn't make sense. Let's go and poke it with a stick."— The Doctor

(in reply to Roger39m)

Post #: 3

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/14/2010 6:25:57 AM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline

FR

OP, this discussion has been had before:

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3117702/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#3117702

< Message edited by VaguelyCurious -- 9/14/2010 6:26:30 AM >

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.

(in reply to SylvereApLeanan)

Post #: 4

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/14/2010 7:49:32 AM

Twoshoes

Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline

That thread delivers. I forgot what the topic was halfway through the first page.

VC, domiguy, and Jeffff getting along - lessons past.

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)

Post #: 5

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/14/2010 7:53:34 AM

stef

Posts: 10215
Joined: 1/26/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Roger39m

It seems that this imbalance is here to stay and is not going away anytime soon. It is interesting to see that same rules do not apply in reverse. A female sub chasing a Male Dom still seems to have the "power" to reject or select in her hand, much in the way a Domme does for a male sub. In other words, whether it is a swing club, D/s site or wherever, the women still make the rules, whether they are Domme or a sub.

It seems odd that you would take the time to complain about the "power" women have and yet in your profile you say "To me Female Supremacy is a way of life, one that I have totally internalized and practice in everyday life."

Do you only believe in female supremacy only when you have a hard-on?

~stef

_____________________________

Welcome to PoliticSpace! If you came here expecting meaningful BDSM discussions, boy are you in the wrong place.

"Hypocrisy has consequences"

(in reply to Roger39m)

Post #: 6

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/14/2010 8:31:20 AM

DiscreetEagerSub

Posts: 1
Joined: 9/6/2010
Status: offline

Interesting thread indeed.

< Message edited by DiscreetEagerSub -- 9/14/2010 8:33:58 AM >

(in reply to stef)

Post #: 7

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/14/2010 8:36:51 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Men are driven to satisfy sexual urges more than women. We can think about different things. Studies have shown that men have fleeting sexual thoughts more often than women do. Read that ages ago and don't have a link, alas.

This being so, yes, men need to approach women more than women need to approach men. And to be successful, you have to approach us in the way we want, which is not at all what would work for a man.

One of the major differences is that in general women need emotional intimacy to have sex and men need sex to have emotional intimacy.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to DiscreetEagerSub)

Post #: 8

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/14/2010 8:45:06 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Bless your heart.

Please let me reiterate.

The pussy has the power.
The philosophy of female supremacy equal.......the pussy has the power.
Because the pussy has the power.........there are a lot of men, regardless of dominant or submissive, that are chasing after pussy. A higher number of men chasing a lesser number of women means, regardless of who is dominant or submissive, the pussy has the power.

If a guy doesn't like it, he needs to stop chasing pussy.

here is a link for you...

http://www.realdoll.com/

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to DiscreetEagerSub)

Post #: 9

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/14/2010 8:47:52 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

I didn't think he was complaining so much as confused as to why this is on gender lines and not related to who is dominant.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 10

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/14/2010 8:49:54 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Oh I wants a RealDoll!!!! Soooo pricey, but le sigh, the ultimate for a doll collector.

OP, there ARE more female dominants than there are submissive males. You can trust me on that.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 11

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/14/2010 8:58:41 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

I am totally confused. Everyone I know has standards whether they are outnumbered or not.

I would love to walk into a building crammed to the gills with available female subs, specify exactly what I want, znd get her delivered to me. But it ain't gonna happen. Well, not for free, anyway.,

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 12

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/14/2010 8:58:49 AM

OttersSwim

Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

Not sure how this conversation became all about a sexual organ...but when in Rome...

I have always found that vying for a woman's head and heart works ever so much better than just grabbing for her pussy.

While the relationship you might have with her pussy is important, it is a limited conversation with admittedly pleasurable, but finite variables. The relationship you establish with her head and her heart however, can go on forever and has no limits.

As for who has the power, I will always argue that a male, in touch with himself and his world, present in his head and his heart, with honorable intentions and a clear understanding of what he wants, and the drive to pursue it, will have no problem finding both the relationship -and- the pussy that he desires.

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 13

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/14/2010 9:01:54 AM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Listen to Mr Married to His Dominant Guy, showing off!!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to OttersSwim)

Post #: 14

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/14/2010 9:03:09 AM

BoiJen

Posts: 2608
Joined: 3/7/2007
Status: offline

What the OP fails to realize is that all of life revolves around the power of the magic house earning pussy.

boi
Weeds watcher

_____________________________

Clips of MsKitty doin' stuff to me. Support the fan club, buy a clip today.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 15

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/14/2010 9:36:32 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

It's a little early in the day for Me to start saying the word "pussy" so many times in one post. Instead, I'll tackle this.

It is interesting to see Dommes commiserating on the various "cut and paste jobs" and how "stupid and insincere" the subs are. I wonder how much of this would remain, should the number of Dommes far outnumber the available male subs (this is not the case today). Obviously they can be as selective as they want in this situation, and apply rational and irrational selection criteria or no criteria at all. The male sub has to operate in this environment and learn how to do so very effectively or risk getting nothing at all.

Frankly, no matter which way the numbers swing, there really is no way to describe cut and paste emails or form letters other than lazy. That's just the way I see it. If somebody can't come up with three or four original sentences after reading someone's profile, exactly how do you describe it otherwise? As to the second part, like it or not, there isn't a single demographic on this site that doesn't include folks who are less than sincere. It's not unique to any one group, and I highly doubt, OP, that you are able to stand here and pledge that every male who has slapped the designation of "submissive" on themselves is the height of sincerity. You are looking at your own motives and we have our track record of being on the site for years with the thousands of emails that we've received. I think I'll stick with history, rather than your intent.

Stupid? Well, I'd have to really go back and look to see if I've ever used that word on the forums. I highly doubt that I have in regards to a person. Yet, I'll ask, what would your impression be of folks in New York who write someone in CA who says they are interested in local people only? How about ones who say they are looking for a Dominant to marry who is already married? Someone who says they can't attend public events that writes to someone who specifically states that she lives for them and isn't compatible with anyone who doesn't? I think we may have different definitions on intelligence.

I do happen to think a lot of this is going to change with the new spam filters that have been set up. I won't speak for anybody else, but it's doing wonders for My mail box. There are already fewer buckshot approaches, form letters, and random notes being sent out and that should help to eliminate the problem. As the crap gets cut down, those sending genuine notes of interest will be more likely to be noticed.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to BoiJen)

Post #: 16

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/14/2010 10:34:54 AM

ElanSubdued

Posts: 1511
Status: offline

Roger39m,

In my opinion, your OP outlines one of the things that is considerably different in offline life versus online forums. In face-to-face interactions, "the power of the pussy" is replaced by "the power of teh hot". What is "teh hot"? Teh hot is someone of any gender who is well balanced, has social skills, is able to hold a conversation, and presents themselves in a way that is interesting, inviting, and attractive. At real life events, I find the gender numbers are quite balanced and, if anything, possibly skewed in favour of male submissives who are looking for female dominants. For some reason, male submissives don't seem to go to as many events as dommes do and hence the favourable numbers for male submissives who do actually go.

Elan.

(in reply to Roger39m)

Post #: 17

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/14/2010 11:40:01 AM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

OP, there ARE more female dominants than there are submissive males. You can trust me on that.

What? Really? That's news to me. Or are you yanking our plonkers here, Lady Hib?

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 18

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/14/2010 11:48:21 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I'm going to take a stab at that and suppose that she means there are more folks who are bottoms than what some may describe as submissive. Unfortunately, the site doesn't have a designation for top or bottom, so folks do with the best that they have.

I'm sure that Hib will correct Me if I am wrong.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 19

RE: Domme / Sub marketplace - Imbalance in favor of Dommes - 9/14/2010 11:49:11 AM

OttersSwim

Posts: 2860
Joined: 9/1/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: PeonForHer

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

OP, there ARE more female dominants than there are submissive males. You can trust me on that.

What? Really? That's news to me. Or are you yanking our plonkers here, Lady Hib?

I think the emphasis should be on the word "submissive". Lots of guys looking to get their rocks off...very very few actual "submissives".

_____________________________

I am on a journey of authenticity and self.

(in reply to PeonForHer)

Post #: 20

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