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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/17/2010 5:10:44 AM   
sophiesback


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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetcrybaby

 It can be looked at negatively to question your Dom, so many straight female submissives end up with cheaters.


 If questioning your Dom with legitimate questions is looked at negatively, who cares if he's a cheater? He's an asshole. If I have question/concern, I ask. Master's responsibility is to keep me happy so I am able to keep him happy. It goes both ways.



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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/17/2010 5:16:47 AM   
sophiesback


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quote:

ORIGINAL: OrderAndFlux

Here is my impression as a neophyte/total outsider who has never had a kinky relationship and who just got around to making an account here.  Basically, I'm talking out my ass, but tell me if I'm right:

I'd say that straight sub males definitely have it the worst.  It isn't just a numbers game, although the numbers are certainly not in our favor.  It's also that it seems like so many sub males I've met at a couple of real life events and talked to at another site are wired to want things that Dommes have no interest in doing.  So basically, I'd say that when the numbers are against you AND you want things the women you want have no interest in providing, you're pretty screwed.  Obviously, even with sub males the cream rises to the top and good guys eventually find good matches, but I think it can be a long and frustrating process.

Straight Dommes also seem to have it pretty rough.  They do have a larger pool from which to choose than do the sub males, but on the other hand most of the guys they're choosing from are a bit oafish.  The odds are pretty good, but the goods are pretty odd.

Straight Doms seem to be in a little better shape.  The decent ones, anyway.  There are a lot of total assclowns wandering around calling themselves Doms, but the ones who are worth a damn seem to stand out.  Also, on average it seems like sub women are brighter/hotter/better socialized than sub men.

Sub women are also in pretty good shape if they have anything on the ball.  They seem to be the most adroit social climbers and are able to move effortlessly from Dom to Dom until they land where they want.

Bi and lesbian Dommes seem to be in a position to write their own tickets.  They also tend to have good senses of humor and flawless senses of style.  If kink were a roleplaying game and I were designing a character, I'd play a bi Domme.  But, alas, nature didn't conspire to make me that way.

Gay and bi Doms seem to have it the best.  The gay sub boys I've known have been hunky, smart, and articulate so I'd say they have the best pool from which to choose and numbers are definitely on their side.

So these are my kneejerk impressions of the geopolitics of Planet Kink.



I think you're way off on this, but that's just MY opinion. I never found a partner online, nor did I look. I came here for the information. I have had my inbox FLOODED with mail from people of all "types". I don't think half of them paid attention to "Bi female slave". They certainly don't notice that "Owned" is the first word in my profile. It's not about your orientation, it's about YOU and your standards whether you meet someone quickly.

I can't believe somewhere on here someone said "lower your standards". If anything, after being on the boards and talking with so many wonderful people I RAISED mine.

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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/17/2010 5:17:53 AM   
daddysliloneds


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yeah, you're talking out your ass.

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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/17/2010 6:43:46 AM   
DesFIP


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All sub women are manipulative users who jump from man to man?

Nice way to win friends and influence enemies. Not.

Tell me something, what kind of reaction would you have expected if you had substituted: Jewish, Italian, African American, etc in your post? Because that's exactly how you've indelibly branded yourself in our minds. As a bigoted jackass. With apologies to the many fine donkeys I've known.


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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/17/2010 7:29:28 AM   
LadyPact


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I think it's probably not a very good idea to speak in terms of who has it worst.  The numbers might favor one group over another, situations that may be more commonly accepted in society, etc, but it still all boils down to compatibility.  I will agree that certain kinks are harder to find a match for than others with a larger amount of male submissives who want them in comparison to female Dominants who are interested in them.  (That's just My personal experience and observation.)  There is a greater disparity on numbers when you throw the internet into the mix  Anybody just using electronic methods alone is going to have fewer options.  (No matter how you slice it, the sum of x+y is greater than x alone.)

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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/17/2010 7:33:55 AM   
DommeKeliDallas


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quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

I thought straight female subs had it pretty rough.  It's slim pickins' (in real life) for straight male Doms that aren't already taken.  

If the Dom is YOUNG, HANDSOME, PROFESSIONAL, INTELLIGENT, and looks like he just walked out of GQ, he will have no problem getting a sub female.

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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/17/2010 7:38:54 AM   
ResidentSadist


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quote:

ORIGINAL: DommeKeliDallas


quote:

ORIGINAL: ResidentSadist

I thought straight female subs had it pretty rough.  It's slim pickins' (in real life) for straight male Doms that aren't already taken.  

If the Dom is YOUNG, HANDSOME, PROFESSIONAL, INTELLIGENT, and looks like he just walked out of GQ, he will have no problem getting a sub female.

Even if he is old, handsome, professional, intelligent and well dressed he will have subs and girlie vanilla types jumping into his lap everywhere he goes.


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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/17/2010 7:43:16 AM   
BreathandStone


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I'm a queer fat poly dominant sadist with a little bit of the crazy and an aggressive need for snuggling. And yet, I found a bisexual submissive poly masochistic snugglebug who thinks I'm awesome - and I wasn't even really looking. The idea of "the numbers game" is fundamentally flawed. We all have our own sets of wants, needs, dealbreakers, desires. The trick isn't sorting through the available submissivss to find the best one, or vying for the most desirable dom - it's finding someone who suits you, and who you suit. You can't really quantify that.

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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/17/2010 7:43:35 AM   
OttersSwim


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Heh...try being a bi-trans-girlie-boy submissive...To be any more marginalized, we would have to join Al'Qaeda!

I won the D/s lottery and I know it.


< Message edited by OttersSwim -- 9/17/2010 7:44:18 AM >


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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/17/2010 7:58:43 AM   
BreathandStone


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quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

I won the D/s lottery and I know it.



Maybe so, Otter. But from what I've read, she may have won the lottery too.


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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/17/2010 8:04:46 AM   
OttersSwim


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quote:

ORIGINAL: BreathandStone

quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

I won the D/s lottery and I know it.



Maybe so, Otter. But from what I've read, she may have won the lottery too.



<3  You are sweet.  Thank you. 

I still maintain that there is nothing like a girlie-boy for the discerning Dominant! 


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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/17/2010 8:29:41 AM   
VaguelyCurious


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FR

Orientation and gender are really stupid ways of deciding who's drawn the short straw.

You know who draws the short straw? Boring people. Unattractive people (I'm not talking about the physical here). People with no social skills. People with grating laughs. People with no perceptible sense of humour.

Feel sorry for those people.I know straight sub males who are chased by the women around them on account of their sheer awesomeness. People who lack awesome have it the worst, and a lack of awesome is an affliction that does not discriminate between genders or orientations or sexualities. So can the self-pity, OP, because it is decidedly un-awesome.


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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/17/2010 8:35:47 AM   
OttersSwim


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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

FR

Orientation and gender are really stupid ways of deciding who's drawn the short straw.

You know who draws the short straw? Boring people. Unattractive people (I'm not talking about the physical here). People with no social skills. People with grating laughs. People with no perceptible sense of humour.

Feel sorry for those people.I know straight sub males who are chased by the women around them on account of their sheer awesomeness. People who lack awesome have it the worst, and a lack of awesome is an affliction that does not discriminate between genders or orientations or sexualities. So can the self-pity, OP, because it is decidedly un-awesome.



Win


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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/17/2010 8:56:57 AM   
BKSir


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quote:

ORIGINAL: OttersSwim

I still maintain that there is nothing like a girlie-boy for the discerning Dominant! 



Agreed. :)



And, who drew the short straw? The people who sit there spending time on bemoaning it in general.

Yeah, I would like the same exact rights, and I do fight for them. But at the same time, I don't let it burden me because I have other things to do, other things to focus on, other things that are important. Being gay may be a part of who I am, but it is not entirely who I am and does not entirely define me to the point where I need to spend my life feeling victimized and downtrodden. I have a house most people only dream of, I have a great car, I have a loving relationship, I have a little cash in the bank (very little, because my job doesn't pay worth shit), I have a pretty decent life overall. Why? Because I don't let the things between my legs define my existence. I go out and make it happen. Am I disgustingly wealthy? No. Do I have everything I want? Of course not. But who really does?

So... yeah. The people who have it worst are the ones who focus on how awful they have it, instead of living life to the fullest possible at this moment and focusing on making it better in the long run.

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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/17/2010 9:04:45 AM   
myotherself


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I was going to write a long reply to this, but I have a date tonight and need to get ready

Even us older, edumicated feminist sub-type girlies can find the right guy if we refuse to settle, and get out there and get ourselves known.

Now...short black skirt and blue silk shirt, or longer khaki skirt and white shirt?

I got it hard, dammit!

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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/17/2010 9:11:46 AM   
OttersSwim


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I think a submissive dressed in "Black and Blue" for a date is a WONDERFUL idea!  

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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/17/2010 9:17:31 AM   
myotherself


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ROFLMAO!!

Otter - that was a win

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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/17/2010 9:33:50 AM   
BreathandStone


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quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

FR

Orientation and gender are really stupid ways of deciding who's drawn the short straw.

You know who draws the short straw? Boring people. Unattractive people (I'm not talking about the physical here). People with no social skills. People with grating laughs. People with no perceptible sense of humour.

Feel sorry for those people.I know straight sub males who are chased by the women around them on account of their sheer awesomeness. People who lack awesome have it the worst, and a lack of awesome is an affliction that does not discriminate between genders or orientations or sexualities. So can the self-pity, OP, because it is decidedly un-awesome.



Dear VaguelyCurious,

I would like to join your fan club.

Love, me


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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/17/2010 9:40:05 AM   
juliaoceania


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I used to think similar things as you, OP, but time has changed my mind. I think it is an individual thing. I do not think it is easy to find a compatible person no matter who you are, and even if you attract someone, it does not mean they are the "right" someone. I have a lot of eligible men who seem half assed decent email me, but that doesn't mean they spark me. I am not looking for someone half decent, I am looking for someone really special. It isn't necessarily a numbers game, it is often just luck when you meet that person that you can talk to for hours, who "gets" you, and you just want to be with. It has little to do with kink, either, in my experience. If someone sparked me I could work their kinks in with my kinks... the spark is the rare thing, kinky men are a dime a dozen.

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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/17/2010 9:41:09 AM   
VaguelyCurious


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Yay! I haz a fanclub! Of 1 whole entire person!

I may now retire from CM-my work here is done


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