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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/18/2010 10:45:22 PM

ResidentSadist

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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes
leadership_bunchofnumbers

ROFL. The funny thing is that's exactly how I think of them. I just tacked some random numbers on the end because I didn't feel like fighting with name collisions.

Ah ha . . . I always thought it was the year you were born.

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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/18/2010 11:29:53 PM

naughtynick81

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Nice thread OP. Male subs may have it the worse but male doms or switches are not much better off. Being a woman in any role on this site is completely and totally easy. Sounds ridiculous? Put it this way, if you were a male on this site who got as much people interested in you than what the average woman gets, you would be considered popular. It makes me shake my head in disbelief when a woman expresses on these sites that things are hard for her. It's also funny how considering women have it a 1000 times easier than men, people are less likely going to criticise a woman when she complains about it being hard for her. For example, the first 2 post made in this thread. If men were to have the same level of negativity towards women, they would be social outcast. Yet, when men complain about how hard it is for them (even that they have it 1000 times harder than women) they'll get criticised and intimidated 9 times out of 10. I wonder what gender are the second class citizens in this scene.

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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/19/2010 2:07:56 AM

myotherself

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quote:

ORIGINAL: naughtynick81

Being a woman in any role on this site is completely and totally easy.

Only if your standards are seriously low.

quote:

Sounds ridiculous?

More ill-informed than ridiculous, but maybe it's just a case of semantics. And there's a strong undercurrent of bitterness here too.

quote:

Put it this way, if you were a male on this site who got as much people interested in you than what the average woman gets, you would be considered popular.

Again, it's down to quality. If a woman walked into a crowded bar and a group of desperate-for-anything, piss-stained drunken leches with green teeth and body odour staggered over to her and started grabbing at her, making obscene suggestions and shouting that their wives/gf's "don't understand me" - would you consider her 'popular'?

Works the same way online.

quote:

It makes me shake my head in disbelief when a woman expresses on these sites that things are hard for her.

Shake away sweetie - just beware of flying dandruff

quote:

It's also funny how considering women have it a 1000 times easier than men, people are less likely going to criticise a woman when she complains about it being hard for her.

Well, if you would settle for absolutely anyone, regardless of looks, age, location, kinks, marital status, then you too could have it easy! Some of us have higher personal standards.

quote:

For example, the first 2 post made in this thread. If men were to have the same level of negativity towards women, they would be social outcast.

Some men DO have a level of negativity towards women, and vice versa. The ones who are "social outcasts" are the ones who have profiles which whine endlessly about 'fakers and wannabes' and who class the opposite gender as as second class citizens.

Go browse the male Dom profiles, and see how many there are. Then eliminate the whiny-ass bitches and see how big the fishing pool is after that.

quote:

Yet, when men complain about how hard it is for them (even that they have it 1000 times harder than women) they'll get criticised and intimidated 9 times out of 10. I wonder what gender are the second class citizens in this scene.

Your numbers intrigue me. Are they the result of research, or did you just pull them out of somewhere intestinal?
Let's just make it clear - if you want a quick fuck with "just anyone", then women probably have it easier. There are a hell of a lot more sleazy men on here than there are sleazy women. Same as in any nightclub.

If you want a quality relationship with someone who matches your list of "must haves", then it's hard for EVERYONE. Sitting back and whining about "it's not fair" is going to get you precisely nowhere.

Positive people find positive people. Negative people find themselves.

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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/19/2010 7:09:32 PM

azfemale

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Seems that many have chosen vanillas as partners and only see subs as a side-dish.
I have talked to a lot of men, and they have vanilla wives.

It is very hard to meet a dominant male/top who doesn't have a wife and several subs.
I am not looking to be someone's "sub". I am looking to date someone who likes the same kink I like, and is dominant.
I can't relate to a man just based on kink alone. I like to do other things. I want someone to travel with, go places, etc.
It seems some are just one-facet, they only want kink and sex.
Some just want to talk endlessly online, and never meet. Just attention.

Doesn't matter what a sub looks like, or is educated, clean, etc.
It looks like men prefer vanillas, from what I have seen.

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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/19/2010 7:10:36 PM

azfemale

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weird that it says I am a vanilla with the cone...jeesh

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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/19/2010 7:14:08 PM

Jeffff

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That's because there are no gash shots in your profile.

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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/19/2010 7:19:37 PM

RedMagic1

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Who has it the worst? The person who pursues "having a partner" as the objective, instead of building something with their life.

Who has it best? The person who uses each day to accomplish something, so potential partners see what that person is capable of, and says, "Damn, that's sexy."

Attract people by being attractive. You will attract abusers by being needy, and you will repel everyone by being desperate.

Also, PS: I really stopped by to tell Jeffff and whoever else: I'm moving to Chicago in January.

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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/19/2010 7:38:56 PM

sexyred1

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The Saga of the Greener Grass or Who has it easier?

I think it is hilarious that the OP and so many others think women have it easy. The grass is not always greener on any lawn.

It might interest many of the men who feel this way to know that on kink sites and on vanilla sites, the overriding situation is this:

Man writes woman. Woman checks out man's profile and photo, woman says, ok, sounds good.

Woman writes back that she would be happy to chat. Man emails the exact same thing every times: What is your yahoo IM?

Woman says: I don't use Yahoo or other IM's to get to know someone. I prefer one or two introductory emails and then a phone call. If that goes well, let's meet for a drink.

Man, says, cool, excellent, cannot wait to talk to you.

Woman gives man her cell phone and man either never calls, or calls and the call is not exciting and woman nicely says thanks anyway. Or, the call goes well and the man says, you sound wonderful, let's talk again soon.

Man does not ask woman out for the drink/coffee. However, man continues to email said woman over and over again saying bland things like, how are you? what's up? how was the weekend?

Woman is still nice to the man, but the man never follows up and continues to email with bland platitudes until the woman is annoyed.

Woman tells man, listen, I don't like endless emails, I would like to meet in real life.

Man says, sure let's meet, but never sets up a date.

Woman tells man not to contact her again or ignores man's subsequent emails.

Man then says a variation of you must be a: bitch, cunt, gay, not real, not a real sub, a player, fat or you are not that hot anyway.

Wash, rinse, repeat.

As for that grass being greener, OP, sounds like we single women need a better landscaper.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 9/19/2010 7:39:19 PM >

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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/19/2010 7:51:27 PM

bamabbwsub

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OMG, sexyred, you have just described some of my online exchanges EXACTLY!

Although I think in some respects women do have it easier, "easier" doesn't mean "easy" by any stretch.

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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/19/2010 7:57:30 PM

Icarys

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Man was probably just not that into you. Rinse and repeat.

You got it rough.

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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/19/2010 8:00:09 PM

sexyred1

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LOL. Of course, as usual you don't get it.

This is not just about me; this scenario has happened to pretty much all the attractive, intelligent single women I know on every type of site and not only online, people are unable to connect for various reasons.

Most of those men are dysfunctional; something I am positive you know all about.

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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/19/2010 8:08:46 PM

Icarys

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As usual you can't fathom why every swinging dick out there within a 1000 mile radius wouldn't want you.

Yes I do know all about it..That's what I was referring to when I first spoke to you.

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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/19/2010 8:14:52 PM

Icarys

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It's alllllll somebody else's fault lol.

< Message edited by Icarys -- 9/19/2010 8:27:16 PM >

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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/19/2010 8:43:25 PM

naughtynick81

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In the women's stance, it's the men's fault. No shame or intimidation is needed most of the time. A man having no luck...well the story is obvious

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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/19/2010 8:48:19 PM

Twoshoes

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quote:

ORIGINAL: azfemale

Seems that many have chosen vanillas as partners and only see subs as a side-dish.
I have talked to a lot of men, and they have vanilla wives.

It is very hard to meet a dominant male/top who doesn't have a wife and several subs.
I am not looking to be someone's "sub". I am looking to date someone who likes the same kink I like, and is dominant.
I can't relate to a man just based on kink alone. I like to do other things. I want someone to travel with, go places, etc.
It seems some are just one-facet, they only want kink and sex.
Some just want to talk endlessly online, and never meet. Just attention.

Doesn't matter what a sub looks like, or is educated, clean, etc.
It looks like men prefer vanillas, from what I have seen.

To tell you the truth, most "vanillas" will do just fine if all you want to do is lead the interaction and not have "kinks".

Personally, I'm not too concerned with "kinks".

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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/19/2010 9:23:12 PM

naughtynick81

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I didn't bother answering to her quotes. But what myotherself said from this quote alone...

quote:

As a straight female sub looking for an intelligent dominant sadist

It manes that most men are not intelligent which also means most men are dumb which also means she is a chauvinist.

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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/19/2010 9:25:01 PM

naughtynick81

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quote:

This is not just about me; this scenario has happened to pretty much all the attractive, intelligent single women I know on every type of site and not only online, people are unable to connect for various reasons.

Most of those men are dysfunctional; something I am positive you know all about.

The same story. Yet a man is totally evil to think the same of women

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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/19/2010 9:48:31 PM

juliaoceania

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quote:

This is not just about me; this scenario has happened to pretty much all the attractive, intelligent single women I know on every type of site and not only online, people are unable to connect for various reasons.

My best friend in Georgia is really beautiful, vivacious, positive, educated, caring and kind... simply a terrific catch. She is recently divorced and is having a hell of a time wading through the married men, the ones that come off as clingy stalkers, men that have questionable grooming standards, men that expect her to carry every conversation, and lastly one cokehead who wanted to share his stash with her on the first date

. I keep telling her, "You have to kiss a bunch of frogs to meet the prince".... she forgot how hard it is weeding through unsuitable men to find someone that would even be appropriate to share a second date with.... and she is on eharmony.

I am around a lot of younger people through my school, and they have such ease with how they go about going from dating one person to the next... I have forgotten how uncomplicated it was before I was divorced to find someone to spend time with. My expectations weren't so high for what I wanted in a companion. I was looking for someone to procreate with, and being "friends" was not the top priority.

As we get older and have more experiences we have different priorities. It adds complexity to finding a suitable mate when we incorporate our children, or aging parents into the mix. It gets more complex when we have more to lose to take a chance on a new mate... like our careers, our homes, our savings. Basically it just gets harder.

That is why the OP has a flawed approach to this entire matter of making this a gender issue, I think it is an age and experience issue....

Just me, etc

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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/19/2010 11:05:50 PM

antinomy

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Finding a partner is difficult. Period. Male or female, sub, dom or switch. Not everyone here is looking for the same thing. What difference does popularity make? While you lament the fact that you are not getting the sheer volume of contact that some women are, if the women are not finding suitable and compatible men in the pool of those that contact her, where's the benefit? How are they better off? If they are still here searching, and from what I have seen, looks like a vast majority are, then I just don't see where you come up with them being so much better off. I'd rather get one message a week from the type of person I could click with than a hundred from guys that don't even look at my profile before writing. Besides, whining is unattractive (in any gender)- and not likely to garner one the positive attention they seek.

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RE: Who has it the worst? - 9/19/2010 11:23:53 PM

MasterMalcolm

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Tough question. I'll need a grant to study it.

Give me $400k and I'll have a statistical answer for you in 3 years.

Seriously! I need that amount of time to take every uncollared subby on the board to dinner in the Bahamas.

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