RE: Do you ignore your moral compass to get your kink on?

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RE: Do you ignore your moral compass to get your kink on? - 9/23/2010 11:37:52 AM

LadyRian

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Joined: 9/5/2010
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The impression I'm getting from all of this is:

A - People who could have been behaving more responsibly as parents weren't doing so.

B - The scene was ineptly done. Contingencies were overlooked, and the kids, the hosts, and the guests were lucky that disaster was avoided.

C - Reckless behaviour is more common than I previously thought.

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RE: Do you ignore your moral compass to get your kink on? - 9/23/2010 11:48:35 AM

mistoferin

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quote:

i keep wondering who was babysitting these kids? the parents it seems were occupied. did they have a bathroom in the bedroom? how did the the children sleep at a reasonable hour among all that noise?

The information that was given is that the children were given a "Potty" in the bedroom to use. There was a video baby monitor that was viewed by the guest who left who stated that the children were not visible in the beds at the time that she/he viewed it. The party started at 6pm and did not end until after 2am and the children were kept in there the entire time.

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RE: Do you ignore your moral compass to get your kink on? - 9/23/2010 2:34:59 PM

DommeJennice

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Joined: 9/8/2010
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Toppingfrmbottom:

My Domme trainer had two small children. She never allowed them in the Dungeon. If they were there, there was nothing going on but family functions.
Children cannot protect themselves. Some adults cannot either. Regardless if SF has open play, that is not the issue here. The issue is morality and BDSM. I would not be around children during a scene, nor post on the internet to them.
I will not take my 15 year old male neighbor to work unless I talk to his father first. Thank goodness the kid hasn't asked me for a ride since I called his father for permission to take him. I am not riding around with a 15 year old male or female. If I teach a class with children, there will be an adult there as well as the door open at all times.
I hope my farm is working now.

Good Day.

DommeJennice

(in reply to ranja)

Post #: 83

RE: Do you ignore your moral compass to get your kink on? - 9/23/2010 4:04:38 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
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quote:

ORIGINAL: mistoferin

quote:

i keep wondering who was babysitting these kids? the parents it seems were occupied. did they have a bathroom in the bedroom? how did the the children sleep at a reasonable hour among all that noise?

The information that was given is that the children were given a "Potty" in the bedroom to use. There was a video baby monitor that was viewed by the guest who left who stated that the children were not visible in the beds at the time that she/he viewed it. The party started at 6pm and did not end until after 2am and the children were kept in there the entire time.

All I can say is...wow! I feel ill just reading that.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 84

RE: Do you ignore your moral compass to get your kink on? - 9/23/2010 9:22:46 PM

junecleaver

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I actually have been to a 'littles' party where children were present. My little is more like a 17 year old slut but my boyfriend at the time was on the board so we attended. It was an easter egg hunt and they saw their guardians setting up. They asked if they could join and were told that, 'There would be some adults acting like kids.' Obviously...a littles easter egg hunt is a lot different than crazy kinky sex party, but it was still really weird. Would I call it immoral? Not really.

To me...it's not even a matter of moral compass or anything I can get self-righteous over. It's a question of, 'Does this make me uncomfortable?' If I have found myself completely comfortable doing something immoral then I have bigger fish to fry than getting my kink on.

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Post #: 85

RE: Do you ignore your moral compass to get your kink on? - 9/24/2010 10:27:27 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DommeJennice

Toppingfrmbottom:

My Domme trainer had two small children. She never allowed them in the Dungeon. If they were there, there was nothing going on but family functions.
Children cannot protect themselves. Some adults cannot either. Regardless if SF has open play, that is not the issue here. The issue is morality and BDSM. I would not be around children during a scene, nor post on the internet to them.
I will not take my 15 year old male neighbor to work unless I talk to his father first. Thank goodness the kid hasn't asked me for a ride since I called his father for permission to take him. I am not riding around with a 15 year old male or female. If I teach a class with children, there will be an adult there as well as the door open at all times.
I hope my farm is working now.

Good Day.

DommeJennice

I find that quite a weird idea. I have lots of young males in my home, talk with them, feed them, enjoy their company, give them lifts when required and so on. It's never crossed my mind , EVER to ask the parent of a kid if it's *ok* to give them a lift and I'd be shocked if any other parent asked me in relation to MY young men. Just chuck them in the car and drop them off!......My herb garden smells better every day.

agirl

(in reply to DommeJennice)

Post #: 86

RE: Do you ignore your moral compass to get your kink on? - 9/24/2010 1:19:39 PM

DesFIP

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From: Apple County NY
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So do I. In fact right now there are three, one mine two others. However they are here because mine is here, which is different than a person without minors inviting minors into the house, car etc. That's something else. After all, would I really want to fill this house with teen boys if I was a single adult? And if so, why?

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Post #: 87

RE: Do you ignore your moral compass to get your kink on? - 9/24/2010 1:40:07 PM

AquaticSub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

After all, would I really want to fill this house with teen boys if I was a single adult? And if so, why?

Too much food on your hands that you need to get rid of?

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(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 88

RE: Do you ignore your moral compass to get your kink on? - 9/24/2010 1:48:34 PM

agirl

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quote:

ORIGINAL: DesFIP

So do I. In fact right now there are three, one mine two others. However they are here because mine is here, which is different than a person without minors inviting minors into the house, car etc. That's something else. After all, would I really want to fill this house with teen boys if I was a single adult? And if so, why?

What kind of leap are you making? My son's friends are also friends of mine, male and female ........ and both are welcome here whether my sons are here or not. AND I'm a *single* adult.

Also, it's rather distasteful, to me, to be worrying about a kind neighbour helping one of my sons out with a lift JUST because they don't have kids of their own.

agirl

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 89

RE: Do you ignore your moral compass to get your kink on? - 9/24/2010 11:39:11 PM

roughleather

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This is not a moral problem. This is a "dumb" problem.

(in reply to mistoferin)

Post #: 90

RE: Do you ignore your moral compass to get your kink on? - 9/25/2010 11:01:12 AM

txurinal

Posts: 209
Joined: 9/26/2009
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Sex and children are just 2 things that do not mix. Every situation is unique but here the risks seemed to be too great. What if a child had gotten ill and need a parent? Would the child have to wait while the mommy or dad was being untied?

Supposed a child had somehow wondered into the party. This would put everyone there at risk of being arrested. i realize people have children but would think that if hosting a "play party" they would have the children over at the granparents or elsewhere for the evening and not where they could at worst be harmed by someone or traumatized by seeing dad on his knees licking boots and being whipped

It all boils down to the parents, and the adults at the party just using a little common sense

(in reply to roughleather)

Post #: 91

RE: Do you ignore your moral compass to get your kink on? - 9/25/2010 8:21:51 PM

takemeforyourown

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Joined: 2/24/2007
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There are things I would (and would NOT) do to get my kink on. Fuck that! As a mother, if I found out there were kids in the house, I would have gone to my car, called the Cops and made sure they busted the friggin' party before I left. That is so many shades of wrong. Reminds me of a CSI episode about swingers. Kids are not stupid.

(in reply to sexyred1)

Post #: 92

RE: Do you ignore your moral compass to get your kink on? - 9/25/2010 8:58:47 PM

SlaveBlutarsky

Posts: 491
Joined: 10/10/2005
From: Upstate, NY
Status: offline

Very few things would get my moral compass out of whack. Kink is not one of them.

The sitation in the OP sounds screwed up, and I would react very negative if I found out there were minors at a 'open' play party. At one point in my life I was helping a Pro Domme around her house in exchange for sessions, she had 2 young kids and I felt uncomfortable playing with them in the house, even though the dungeon was in the basemnet and they would be on the second story of the house during sessions. I explained my misgivings and she had her husband take the girls to a park or movie if she wanted to play with me and the were home. She, and most people, was very understanding about my concerns and respected them.

Sadly I think there are a number of people who sacrifice their morals (and other parts of their personality) in the name of kink. From things I've read and discussed with people, the desire to be in a kinky relationship is sometimes a blinding force that causes people to make poor decisions.

Or maybe kinky people are just fucked up in general.

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(in reply to mistoferin)

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RE: Do you ignore your moral compass to get your kink on? - 9/26/2010 11:25:58 AM

NuevaVida

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quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

Also, it's rather distasteful, to me, to be worrying about a kind neighbour helping one of my sons out with a lift JUST because they don't have kids of their own.

agirl

Thank you for this. I don't have kids of my own. I have no issue with friends' kids coming over, giving them rides, giving them a place to hang out if they need it, etc. I like having kids in my life, particularly since I didn't have my own.

If I were looked at with suspicion for "being there" for these youths, well, just wow. That would be really upsetting.

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RE: Do you ignore your moral compass to get your kink on? - 9/26/2010 3:15:28 PM

NorthernGent

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Didn't read the OP.....only the title...so excuse my act of extreme of laziness....

Never....I'm a fan of commitment to principle.....

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RE: Do you ignore your moral compass to get your kink on? - 9/27/2010 2:16:20 PM

SubPet715

Posts: 337
Joined: 8/24/2010
From: Brooklyn, NY
Status: offline

Short answer is no, I will never ignore my morals in the face of whatever kink or sexual situation that may arise.

Let me tell a story...recently I was with a friend in staten island it was around 2am and we felt like going to the cvs for fruit cups and orange juice. On the way back two VERY hot (no better word) girls were walking on the same side of the street and they reeked of alcohol. They approached us with a drunken "heeeeeey you guys wanna get with some pretty girls?" I went into auto pilot and just walked past them with a "nope" my friend was a little friendlier but he said no as well. When I told this story to anyone else (especially men) they thought I was crazy to pass up such a prime opportunity to have sexual contact with such gorgeous women, i'm sure they were just posturing but I didn't want to do anything with these women for so many reasons. Surprisingly my main reason was that they were drunk, not in a right state of mind, I don't want to be someones mistake or anything worse than that, it also isn't right to take advantage of someone in that state. They also looked like a really mature 15 years old, which to many is alright if you can get away with it but to me the law is the law and I obey the law, morals. Besides I don't wanna be on one of those lists parents check before buying a home...

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RE: Do you ignore your moral compass to get your kink on? - 9/27/2010 2:27:28 PM

LinnaeaBorealis

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From: Insanity & beyond
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There was a time that I ignored my moral compass & I ended up learning a very hard lesson. No children were involved in that, but still I did something for a period of over a year that went against what I believed to be moral & ethical. Since that time I've decided that my morals & ethics will not be compromised.

I am completely shocked that there were children on the other side of the door from a play party. Unless that room was a sound-proofed booth, those children were involved & it seems that they were too young to give their consent. WTF are some people thinking??? And who could defend these parents' behavior?? Children are too important to be treated like that IMO! If it were up to me I would think seriously about having CPS start an investigation of these asshats.

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RE: Do you ignore your moral compass to get your kink on? - 9/27/2010 3:26:11 PM

antinomy

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Spoke with a 'dom' recently from this site, and we started talking morals and ethics. He informed me that, as a submissive, my morality really would not matter if I was in a relationship. That, as far as he was concerned, the dominant partner's morality was the only one of importance, as a submissive had to surrender herself to his will and should really not concern herself with such things. He went on to tell me that the fact that I was even asking the questions meant I was either afraid of my submission, or not really submissive at all. My decision to look for a Dom whose values were in line with my own prompted an emotional ouburst, lecture, and dressing down that you would not believe. Of course, manly man that he was, he blocked me before I could reply. Wow. Just wow...lol...

Point being, no, I would never ignore MY moral compass for my kink, or for much of anything else. I may be submissive, but I know who I am, and what I believe; the ability to live with honor, a clear conscience, and the knowledge that I have been true to myself (and what I know is right) far supercedes any need or desire for kink.

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RE: Do you ignore your moral compass to get your kink on? - 9/28/2010 7:09:43 AM

OsideGirl

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I think there's a number of issues within this issue:

1) The parents put their children at risk. If the police had shown up, chances are they would have taken the kids right then and there. This situation would be made worse if they're accepting money for admission.

2) They were trusting everyone at that party to leave their children alone, some of whom they didn't even know.

3) They put their guests at risk without even giving them the benefit of making the decision of whether they were comfortable with that risk or not.

Personally, I think it's crappy parenting and irresponsible to the group of people invited to your house. I read some of the threads and most of the people seem more concerned that there won't be anymore parties rather than whether their name is going to be on some court document for attending some kinky sex party.

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RE: Do you ignore your moral compass to get your kink on? - 9/28/2010 7:20:00 AM

heartfeltsub

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quote:

ORIGINAL: OsideGirl

I think there's a number of issues within this issue:

1) The parents put their children at risk. If the police had shown up, chances are they would have taken the kids right then and there. This situation would be made worse if they're accepting money for admission.

2) They were trusting everyone at that party to leave their children alone, some of whom they didn't even know.

3) They put their guests at risk without even giving them the benefit of making the decision of whether they were comfortable with that risk or not.

Personally, I think it's crappy parenting and irresponsible to the group of people invited to your house. I read some of the threads and most of the people seem more concerned that there won't be anymore parties rather than whether their name is going to be on some court document for attending some kinky sex party.

While I agree with you wholeheartedly that it was crappy parenting and showed incredible arrogance and presumptousness on the part of the hosts to assume the consent of most of the attendees to the party, the majority of the members of that group that I know would not have attended had they known that there were children present. Also while I have noticed a huge tendency towards very sycophantic behavior with some of the members of that group towards the group leaders, in the threads that I read, the majority of people who said that they were sorry towards the leaders had no clue what had happened and knowing some of them personally, had they known what caused the "end of the play parties" would have responded very differently.

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