Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Psychology and BDSM


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Psychology and BDSM Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Psychology and BDSM - 10/10/2010 11:29:56 AM   
submitting4U


Posts: 64
Joined: 8/16/2010
Status: offline 		This is one of the most intelligent forums of opinion I have read here on Collarme. You are all making good points despite the fact some opinions might be contrary. there is plenty of room for divurgent opinions. Development is complex and causal effects in BDSM or Fetish development are hardly linearly defined. Speaking for myself, I learned years later, my 40's, about traumas I suffered in the so-called preverbal time of development , before age 2 or so. It explained a lot about the root of my fantasies which I began to experience by age 6. All I am contending here is that information helps, because in many cases these life scripts are dangerous and fatal. Not for most folks, but plenty of men and women put themselves in harm's way everday because they do not have the consciousness or internal strength to avoid dangerous situations. Examples would be: am I so submissive that I fail to say no (obeying) and therefor do not practice safe sex practices. Or, is my erotic desires so fueled by sadism that I hurt a partner/player (physically or emotionally) that I otherwise care about. I had a young woman in my practice, aged 22-24, who was raped at age 15, never treated or helped. Seven years later after exploring her sexual practices, she revealed that she hunted down young naive 18 year old girls, picking them up at bars. She would bring them home, seduce them and then pull their hair, beat/slap them and proceed to vaginally or anally rape them with "toys" until they "broke down and learned their lessons as I did." She called it "kinky" and I call it rape by this subconscious need for repetition fantasy. In time, she stopped THAT practice and replaced the fantasy with more prosocial play ...

(in reply to odysseyIndeed)
Profile   Post #: 61
RE: Psychology and BDSM - 10/10/2010 11:40:43 AM   
StrongSpirit


Posts: 575
Joined: 4/10/2005
Status: offline 		Freud became famous because he was the first guy to treat it like a science instead of a religion. But being the first psychological scientist, after he named certain things, he proceeded to get almost everything wrong. You have to look very hard to find a therapist that actually uses Frued's theories, although many still use the names he created.

(in reply to MissAsylum)
Profile   Post #: 62
RE: Psychology and BDSM - 10/10/2010 11:54:02 AM   
PeonForHer


Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyRian

There are armchair psychologists everywhere. And there are real ones. And  so far, it seems to be that all hypotheses are precisely that- hypotheses. Nobody knows for sure.


The human brain has been called the most complex system in the known universe.  Anything that's come out of the science of psychology has to be taken with a barrel-load of salt. 

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com


(in reply to LadyRian)
Profile   Post #: 63
RE: Psychology and BDSM - 10/10/2010 1:25:05 PM   
submitting4U


Posts: 64
Joined: 8/16/2010
Status: offline 		Sigmund Frued was a pioneer in many ways and while a host of investigators have added or developed their own paradigmns I cannot minimize his importance and contributions to psychology and mental health treatment. For those of you with patience for psychoanalytic thinking, remember the alternatives .. devils, witchcraft, atrology, and religion.

(in reply to PeonForHer)
Profile   Post #: 64
RE: Psychology and BDSM - 10/10/2010 4:57:34 PM   
LadyRian


Posts: 486
Joined: 9/5/2010
Status: offline 		Freud was indeed a pioneer, and his research laid the groundwork for many important discoveries. He was also a product of his times, and many of the social myths and prejudices ended up in some of his theories. However, his work had value, and inspired other people who's work was exceptional, such as Carl Jung.  

_____________________________

"Dodging bullets since 2010"

(in reply to submitting4U)
Profile   Post #: 65
RE: Psychology and BDSM - 10/10/2010 5:52:58 PM   
submitting4U


Posts: 64
Joined: 8/16/2010
Status: offline 		I agree wholeheartedly and Carl Jung's perspectives gave rise to a social psychology in the 70's that expanded understanding ... Suffice to say, the world in an interesting array of diversity yet us humans have basic and primordial needs to attach to "others", albeit in a meaningful way.

(in reply to LadyRian)
Profile   Post #: 66
RE: Psychology and BDSM - 10/10/2010 6:09:06 PM   
anniezz338


Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline 		Ok here can be some psychology. My dad was an abusive alcoholic....it was extreme chaos. It controlled us 24/7.

When I grew up and left home, I felt very strongly about controlling my own life, in every sense. And did. Made some right decisions, made some wrong ones.

But the control of controlling my life took control...lol. It went from one extreme to the other. Maybe that is why I find the release of the control relieving now.

(in reply to submitting4U)
Profile   Post #: 67
RE: Psychology and BDSM - 10/10/2010 6:15:05 PM   
Heartlynew


Posts: 18
Joined: 10/10/2010
Status: offline 		I believe it really boils down to a couple things:
1) What type of person you are
2) What type of abuse you endure.

Similar to cologne and perfume, a lot of people react to different things differently. If you really had no room to breathe and you were an only child, you're more likely to be a sub. If you had younger siblings to protect, I can imagine you could develop into a Dom type personality.

Reason being, how you feel as a child plays a major part in what type of person you develop into in the future. If you've been a victim of child abuse as a kid as well as growing up in a dysfunctional home, you tend to learn certain things that your parents will show you and teach you.

For example: If your mother exhibits submissive behavior, and your father is the controlling type - if you're an only child, you'll most likely grow up to become more of a submissive type of person. However, if you're surrounded by more family members (serves as support) you can be more likely to rise up to the occasion to display more alpha characteristics to challenge the head of the household in order to protect your family members thus making you more of a Dom.

It all varies and the variables are limitless, but I can usually figure people out rather quickly based on how they speak to me, how easy their limits are pushed, and how far their limits go. Simple actions can reveal long history of abuse...etc. Psychology of the slave is something I'm highly interested in, and will always be glad to chat with anyone who has questions on the psychological aspect of this lifestyle.

I can talk about psychology for pages upon pages, but I think I've proven that it's a lot more complicated than just one statistic. It's a combination of different layers of statistics that merely makes it seem like a yes or no question ("Were you abused as a child?"). Sexual abuse, is upon a whole new level...which gives me a bigger headache haha.

(in reply to MissAsylum)
Profile   Post #: 68
RE: Psychology and BDSM - 10/10/2010 7:07:40 PM   
CynthiaWVirginia


Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline
quote:

Was your dominance(and submission for that matter) triggered by a childhood expirence?....or did it just develop out of nowhere?


My history of past abuse from childhood and young adulthood was a deterrant, actually.  I had major trust issues.
 
I had no clue that these feelings would develop.  When I started switching just to try it out, I was blown away over the buzz I got from flogging someone while they were in restraints.  I also had to fight with guilt, wondering if I were becoming abusive because I got aroused from spanking and flogging.  The only thing that cured my bad feelings was when the men got that blissful, glassyeyed look.
 
Nothing I do is from anger, past or present.  I am not using this to vent  or purge, or to imagine I am punishing anyone who hurt me in the past.
 
It's funny, but BDSM helps to heal my trust and sets me free.
 
There was a link that discussed how some people use BDSM to heal themselves from past abuses...maybe writing over the ugly with someone they trust, then leave the lifestyle...to come back again when they are working on another issue.  I will send the link into your c-mail...so if you wish to read it...

(in reply to MissAsylum)
Profile   Post #: 69
RE: Psychology and BDSM - 10/10/2010 7:12:41 PM   
Heartlynew


Posts: 18
Joined: 10/10/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CynthiaWVirginia

quote:

Was your dominance(and submission for that matter) triggered by a childhood expirence?....or did it just develop out of nowhere?


My history of past abuse from childhood and young adulthood was a deterrant, actually.  I had major trust issues.
 
I had no clue that these feelings would develop.  When I started switching just to try it out, I was blown away over the buzz I got from flogging someone while they were in restraints.  I also had to fight with guilt, wondering if I were becoming abusive because I got aroused from spanking and flogging.  The only thing that cured my bad feelings was when the men got that blissful, glassyeyed look.
 
Nothing I do is from anger, past or present.  I am not using this to vent  or purge, or to imagine I am punishing anyone who hurt me in the past.
 
It's funny, but BDSM helps to heal my trust and sets me free.
 
There was a link that discussed how some people use BDSM to heal themselves from past abuses...maybe writing over the ugly with someone they trust, then leave the lifestyle...to come back again when they are working on another issue.  I will send the link into your c-mail...so if you wish to read it...


I'm glad something set you free. I too do not hold anything against anyone in my family. I just remove myself from the situation and deal with my family without emotions. Maybe I'm becoming somewhat of a cold hearted person - or maybe I'm just growing up. Who knows

(in reply to CynthiaWVirginia)
Profile   Post #: 70
RE: Psychology and BDSM - 10/10/2010 8:27:11 PM   
D0M1NANT


Posts: 32
Joined: 3/18/2010
Status: offline 		I, too, have had many subs throughout my life who were abused as children, but not all of them were.. Some were raised into the lifestyle by the choices made for them by the values their families have held dear to.. Others were just seeking to experiment. Personally, I was groomed for this life since the age of 9 by My father, who raised Me to be an army Ranger, though I never had the honor of serving.. Thats just My 2 cents , though..
Dom

(in reply to MissAsylum)
Profile   Post #: 71
RE: Psychology and BDSM - 10/11/2010 6:42:17 AM   
Nslavu


Posts: 342
Joined: 2/1/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum

I recieved a very "nice" note today. Apparently, I am only a domme because my father was abusive and that i am also a domme because I am an ugly black bitch that nobody wants. i am in no way hung up on the words-i've been called worse by better. What peaked my interest, so to speak, is the aclaimed past of abuse by somebody whom i've never come in contact with. the racial comment just made me laugh-per usual. But does this Freudian-esque approach to bdsm hold any weight? What is your opinion? Was your dominance(and submission for that matter) triggered by a childhood expirence?....or did it just develop out of nowhere?


I would see the premise as becoming what people tell you you are rather being who you are. Problem, you can only be who you are no matter what influence you attribute to your present state. Paradox kicks ass.

I often wonder where 'nowhere' is....

(in reply to MissAsylum)
Profile   Post #: 72
RE: Psychology and BDSM - 10/11/2010 4:10:27 PM   
MissAsylum


Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline
Antarctica.

quote:

ORIGINAL: Nslavu


quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum

I recieved a very "nice" note today. Apparently, I am only a domme because my father was abusive and that i am also a domme because I am an ugly black bitch that nobody wants. i am in no way hung up on the words-i've been called worse by better. What peaked my interest, so to speak, is the aclaimed past of abuse by somebody whom i've never come in contact with. the racial comment just made me laugh-per usual. But does this Freudian-esque approach to bdsm hold any weight? What is your opinion? Was your dominance(and submission for that matter) triggered by a childhood expirence?....or did it just develop out of nowhere?


I would see the premise as becoming what people tell you you are rather being who you are. Problem, you can only be who you are no matter what influence you attribute to your present state. Paradox kicks ass.

I often wonder where 'nowhere' is....


_____________________________

I hate when I'm wearing my apple bottom jeans, but i can't find my boots with the fur.

(in reply to Nslavu)
Profile   Post #: 73
RE: Psychology and BDSM - 10/11/2010 4:21:36 PM   
Nslavu


Posts: 342
Joined: 2/1/2010
Status: offline 		I know no slaves from there. An expedition to nowhere might be in order.

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum


Antarctica.


(in reply to MissAsylum)
Profile   Post #: 74
RE: Psychology and BDSM - 10/11/2010 4:46:00 PM   
MissAsylum


Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline 		Make sure you take a parka.

I've heard that it gets quite nippy down there.


_____________________________

I hate when I'm wearing my apple bottom jeans, but i can't find my boots with the fur.

(in reply to Nslavu)
Profile   Post #: 75
RE: Psychology and BDSM - 10/11/2010 4:54:01 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum

Make sure you take a parka.



He can parka his karma. 


_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to MissAsylum)
Profile   Post #: 76
RE: Psychology and BDSM - 10/11/2010 5:04:19 PM   
WolfyMontgomery


Posts: 234
Joined: 9/28/2010
Status: offline 		Because I've gotta get my butt to class soon, I gotta make this a fast reply and read more than just skimming posts later.

One thing that always confused me was how so many people argue about Nature versus Nurture, and very few people in the psycho-community (haha...) believe in both. At least from what I learned in both my high school psychology class and my college psychology class - which granted isn't a whole LOT to go on, but the biggest theories out there are either or. There's Behavioral, which is all about cause and effect, there's Freud's 'Psychodynamic' stuff (I'm pulling terms off a search because I couldn't remember them), and Humanist, with the whole need for self-actualization.

It is either personality is learned, or it is natural, or, with a few, it is 'spiritual'.

Why can't it be all of the above? I've always thought that the Nurture brings out what is already in a person to begin with.
For example: Two different people grow up in the same type of violent, abusive home.
One grows up to be a serial killer bent on killing anyone that reminds them of their mother.. or something
The other grows up to be a shy but kind person, maybe mentally damaged due to trauma, but still nice.

Obviously the one that became a killer had that "Natural" seed in them in the first place, and his environment when growing up made that seed grow. The one who turned out nice didn't have that seed for violence or whatever, thus they did not become thus. The same can be explained from perfectly normal households who turn out vastly different children as well.

I know that my mentally abusive father probably encouraged me to be quiet and subservient to people, but at the same time, when I was a really little kid (young enough that I don't remember but my mom does) my favorite games involved me getting tied up. So apparently I had a naturally submissive (or bottom, or switch with sub tendencies, whatevs) personality, but because of what I went through and how I was raised at a young age, I have no desires to top anyone and am so subservient to my Master that I am his slave.

Nature and Nurture are both true, and we are all living proof of that =D


_____________________________

~Eleven

-A Wolf of a Different Color

Fear me and my Gleaming Metal Chompers of DOOM!
..........that means my braces. >_>

(in reply to MissAsylum)
Profile   Post #: 77
RE: Psychology and BDSM - 10/11/2010 5:23:56 PM   
Nslavu


Posts: 342
Joined: 2/1/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

quote:

ORIGINAL: MissAsylum

Make sure you take a parka.



He can parka his karma. 



I don't believe in parka


(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 78
RE: Psychology and BDSM - 10/11/2010 6:27:07 PM   
MissAsylum


Posts: 1863
Joined: 1/9/2009
Status: offline 		i hope you are looking forward to hypothermia and frostbite 

_____________________________

I hate when I'm wearing my apple bottom jeans, but i can't find my boots with the fur.

(in reply to Nslavu)
Profile   Post #: 79
RE: Psychology and BDSM - 10/12/2010 5:19:39 PM   
Rochsub2009


Posts: 2536
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Heartlynew

how you feel as a child plays a major part in what type of person you develop into in the future. If you've been a victim of child abuse as a kid as well as growing up in a dysfunctional home, you tend to learn certain things that your parents will show you and teach you.



I was abused at times as a child.  I was raised by a pack of wolves, and the other wolves in my pack often picked on me.  My friend Bagheera was the only one who backed me when Shere Khan used to try to kill me.  Perhaps that is why I became a sub........Or was that a book I read?  I forget. 

(in reply to Heartlynew)
Profile   Post #: 80
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Psychology and BDSM Page: <<   < prev  1 2 3 [4] 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094