CreativeDominant
Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: LaTigresse
quote:
ORIGINAL: behavingbadly
i have a bad habit of telling them what to do. is that wrong per say? i think it's more common then people think, if it's done discretely.
You also have a bad habit of being far too vague.
As others have pointed out so well, context is everything.
If you're my slave and think you will manipulate me, you're a fool. If you are my slave and are being helpful, you're serving.
LaT put this so well though many others' thoughts on this subject have made a lot of sense.
I answered one of your threads last week and that seemed to be along these same lines. I recall reading your profile and getting the definite impression that you start out being a challenge...and enjoy it. you remind me very much of those submissives who say "prove your dominance over ME". For me, that wouldn't work. I understand that I work to earn everyone's respect, whether it be as a father, a friend, a doctor, a dominant. If you respect me, then you recognize my dominance...whether it is over you or not (you might need to think about this one for awhile. A submissive can recognize dominance within someone whether they respond to it or not. The response is their choice and depends on many other factors). In my own life, before I take on the responsibility of dominance over a submissive, I make my basic rules and my basic premise clear. The premise is this...there is room for two partners in this relationship/dynamic and one leader...the leader is not you.
I have listened to all kinds of advice and suggestions and guidance from my previous submissives. All of them understood that I would weigh what they told me carefully and make a decision if that was what was called for or...because I am not so egotistical as to think I always know better...did as they suggested. But they all knew that there was a difference in my response to what they were telling me and what their response should be to what I told them.
In your case...if what you are really saying is that you challenge the dominant constantly, then I would be gone. As a matter of fact, I don't think that, given what you have posted elsewhere and in your profile...and I am pretty sure in your conversation...I would enter into a D/s dynamic with someone like you in the first place. As someone else said in a similar vein, I have reached a stage in my life where a constant fight for control just is not worth it to me and I don't think it should be occurring in the first place when someone has agreed to submit. I've had that problem and despite the fact that there are a myriad of factors that are in play, the basic one is a refusal to yield...for whatever reason. At that point...as noted by others and by me in the past...serious discussion is called for along with possible course corrections by the dominant, the submissive or both. In the case of someone like you...I have a feeling that the majority of your reasons would come down to, at their core, "because I don't FEEL like listening" or "I wanna be the boss but without the responsibility", which means your challenges would be an attempt to manipulate...as LaT put it, I am not a fool.
< Message edited by CreativeDominant -- 10/21/2010 1:07:13 PM >
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RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? - 
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