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RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? - 10/21/2010 8:58:12 PM

WolfyMontgomery

Posts: 234
Joined: 9/28/2010
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quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

quote:

ORIGINAL: WolfyMontgomery
If they want a spunky girl who makes them want to work to Dom them, much like a DaddyDom/little relationship perhaps, then they'd probably enjoy your spunk and demanding self ;)

[hijack]
Just as an aside, not all littles are pushy mouthy brats that don't listen. Some of us are good girls that listen and obey. Geez. Don't make us all look bad.
[/end hijack]

Lol sorry, I really didn't mean to make it seem that ALL are like that. It mostly comes from my experiences knowing a friend who is into that, and she is very into being a pushy little girl that her Daddy has to teach manners to. It's what they both really enjoy, he likes having a naughty girl and she likes being one, lol.

I don't mean to make all Daddy/little relationships look bad though, honestly =)

It is why I said "A Daddy/little relationship" rather than "ALL Daddy/little relationships", but I do understand how you took it the wrong way. Sorry!

_____________________________

~Eleven

-A Wolf of a Different Color

Fear me and my Gleaming Metal Chompers of DOOM!
..........that means my braces. >_>

(in reply to sweetsub1957)

Post #: 61

RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? - 10/21/2010 9:00:03 PM

sweetsub1957

Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline

HUGS.

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to WolfyMontgomery)

Post #: 62

RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? - 10/21/2010 9:08:44 PM

WolfyMontgomery

Posts: 234
Joined: 9/28/2010
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Yay! =D

-ends thread hijacking to go grope Master like the naughty girl she is, bwahahaha-

_____________________________

~Eleven

-A Wolf of a Different Color

Fear me and my Gleaming Metal Chompers of DOOM!
..........that means my braces. >_>

(in reply to sweetsub1957)

Post #: 63

RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? - 10/21/2010 9:20:46 PM

WyldHrt

Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline

quote:

what's wrong with testing?

Just don't be surprised when your Dominant 'tests' you right back. I had one Dom cmail to tell me that when I became his (lol), he would find out what I truly hate and do whatever it was periodically, just to 'test my submission'. Yeah, ok. I took a pass, thanks. For me, life itself presents enough to 'test' most relationships.

It sounds like you need to find a D type that is into brats and constantly having their dominance challenged. Most I know aren't into that, but I can think of one or two I'm acquainted with who get off on it. As long as you are upfront about what you want, it's all good.

_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to behavingbadly)

Post #: 64

RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? - 10/21/2010 9:25:19 PM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

I had one Dom cmail to tell me that when I became his (lol), he would find out what I truly hate and do whatever it was periodically, just to 'test my submission'.

I have asked that on occasion and have been surprised to find out how many female subs truly hate shopping, eating out, and chocolate.

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to WyldHrt)

Post #: 65

RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? - 10/21/2010 9:26:11 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: behavingbadly

if i manage to get away with too much control they would usually reign me in but damn it i will try.

quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

if you mean 'discretely' trying to control their actions or the direction of your relationship, it's something else and I would wonder who is in charge.

exactly and i think i've managed to be in control of that aspect even with the the strictest mistress. i wondered that too. better not give me too much control of things.

You say you are new and don't know so very much and yet you say THEY would usually reign you in and you have managed to be in control of even the strictest mistress. These are your own words. And yet you are so new you don't get this stuff you are asking.

You are playing a game somewhere...

I happen to believe you know exactly what you are doing.

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to behavingbadly)

Post #: 66

RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? - 10/21/2010 9:29:24 PM

WyldHrt

Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
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quote:

I have asked that on occasion and have been surprised to find out how many female subs truly hate shopping, eating out, and chocolate.

Damn, who knew we all had so much in common?

_____________________________

"MotherFUCKER!" is NOT a safeword!!"- Steel
"We've had complaints about 'orgy noises'. This is not the neighborhood for that kind of thing"- PVE Cop

Resident "Hypnotic Eyes", "Cleavage" and "Toy Whore"
Subby Mafia, VAA Posse & Team Troll!

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 67

RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? - 10/21/2010 9:30:04 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

I get the feeling she knows what she's doing and she's bragging about it. She likes the attention.

(in reply to Lockit)

Post #: 68

RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? - 10/21/2010 9:40:18 PM

Aresidora

Posts: 39
Joined: 10/11/2010
From: Columbus, Ohio
Status: offline

If I ever start to hate chocolate please put me out of my misery. Give me chocolate or give me death.

_____________________________

* Aresidora

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 69

RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? - 10/21/2010 10:11:43 PM

sweetsub1957

Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
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quote:

ORIGINAL: littlewonder

I get the feeling she knows what she's doing and she's bragging about it. She likes the attention.

i think so too. And, like Lockit, I think she knows exactly the game that she's playing. The vast majority of Dominants I know would not put up w/ that sort of crap.

~sweetsub~

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 70

RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? - 10/22/2010 2:46:00 AM

lally2

Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
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.... guys - the clue is in the name i think...

_____________________________

So all I have to do in order to serve him, is to work out exactly how improbable he is, feed that figure into the finite improbability generator, give him a fresh cup of really hot tea ... and turn him on!

(in reply to sweetsub1957)

Post #: 71

RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? - 10/22/2010 3:47:42 AM

LaTigresse

Posts: 26123
Joined: 1/15/2006
Status: offline

Yep, the OP is an attention slut and she is definitely getting her fix. I would imagine her in box is full of 'attention'.

_____________________________

My twisted, self deprecating, sense of humour, finds alot to laugh about, in your lack of one!

Just because you are well educated, articulate, and can use big, fancy words, properly........does not mean you are right!

(in reply to lally2)

Post #: 72

RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? - 10/22/2010 6:44:49 AM

MMsCandy

Posts: 71
Joined: 10/19/2010
Status: offline

Attention sluts?? ONLINE?? No way!

Slaps my newb (to CM only) forehead, i just ran into that one! Doh...

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 73

RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? - 10/22/2010 6:49:04 AM

angelikaJ

Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: behavingbadly

it's also the reaction of being new to the lifestyle, i want to know where i can be pushed to.

That would be perfectly fine, especially since you now have that awareness and can share that information openly and honestly with your mistress/domme.

However, being new doesn't relieve you of personal responsibility and is not an excuse for bad behavior.

If you want to "brat" then be open about it and find someone who is looking for a brat.

If you want to role-play being a naughty school girl who needs to be reigned in by the headmistress then be upfront about that.

I think you have more of an awareness of what you are seeking than most of your posts suggest.

NOT being upfront about that is only going to lead to unworkable solutions for the everyones involved.

Maybe you like the "powertrip" of watching other people being tied up in emotional knots within relationships. (That certainly may not be true but that is how you frequently come across.)

If that isn't true then I think you are missing the point of power exchange relationships.

That is learnable but you have to have to want to learn.

If you don't have the want, then maybe having a mistress is something that for you works better in fantasy...or maybe you just have a lot of growing up to do.

_____________________________

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(as deemed by He who owns me)

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to behavingbadly)

Post #: 74

RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? - 10/22/2010 7:31:14 AM

DommeKeliDallas

Posts: 311
Joined: 1/27/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

It depends. If you know more than he/she does about something, then it's your responsibility to pipe up. But it all boils down to what he/she allows and wants.

Many of the men who answer an ad "want you to tell them what to do."
...or they say,"I want you to tie me up and take advantage of me."
or they say,"I want you to tie me up and have your way with me."
or, " I want you to tie me up and have a good time."

Well, my idea of a good time is SHOPPING!
They just don't understand when I am headed out the door with their credit cards! LOLOL!

Dommes are not mind readers.
You have to tell them what you like.
Many Dommes will not have any sexual contact or do strap-on...get used to it.
If they are into what you are into, and you are respectful to them, ...they MAY meet you.

Don't make the mistake of telling a Domme in DETAIL what she is going to do to you.

(in reply to DarkSteven)

Post #: 75

RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? - 10/22/2010 7:40:24 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LaTigresse

Yep, the OP is an attention slut and she is definitely getting her fix. I would imagine her in box is full of 'attention'.

I figured that one out a while ago. And now she is simply being annoying.

(in reply to LaTigresse)

Post #: 76

RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? - 10/22/2010 7:40:30 AM

LadyRian

Posts: 486
Joined: 9/5/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DommeKeliDallas

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

It depends. If you know more than he/she does about something, then it's your responsibility to pipe up. But it all boils down to what he/she allows and wants.

Many of the men who answer an ad "want you to tell them what to do."
...or they say,"I want you to tie me up and take advantage of me."
or they say,"I want you to tie me up and have your way with me."
or, " I want you to tie me up and have a good time."

See the bold faced, red type? This is a problem with so many.

It's the head space they're coming from, where the Dominant is being used as a commodity to fuel the so called submissive's fantasies.

It doesn't work that way, cupcake.

_____________________________

"Dodging bullets since 2010"

(in reply to DommeKeliDallas)

Post #: 77

RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? - 10/22/2010 8:45:16 AM

TotalDiscipline

Posts: 225
Joined: 5/5/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyRian

quote:

ORIGINAL: DommeKeliDallas

quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

It depends. If you know more than he/she does about something, then it's your responsibility to pipe up. But it all boils down to what he/she allows and wants.

Many of the men who answer an ad "want you to tell them what to do."
...or they say,"I want you to tie me up and take advantage of me."
or they say,"I want you to tie me up and have your way with me."
or, " I want you to tie me up and have a good time."

See the bold faced, red type? This is a problem with so many.

It's the head space they're coming from, where the Dominant is being used as a commodity to fuel the so called submissive's fantasies.

It doesn't work that way, cupcake.

"

the red parts work for many people...as for them it is a sexual fantasy..not a lifestyle.

(in reply to LadyRian)

Post #: 78

RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? - 10/22/2010 8:57:12 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: behavingbadly
it's also the reaction of being new to the lifestyle, i want to know where i can be pushed to.

You know... there's another couple I respect a great deal. Their dynamic, however, is very different than Carol's and mine. For them -- both of them -- they are more focused on dominance than submission. In other words, he likes to get all dominant and "force" her and she likes him being all dominant and forcing her. For THEM, control appears to be expressed in the form of "he can do whatever he wants to her."

Carol and I, in contrast, are more focused on submission. So for us -- both of us -- the focus is on her being obedient rather than me being dominant. Ergo, "testing and pushing" for us would be contrary to the goal. For US, control is expressed in "Carol does what I want". That's a very different thing than saying "I do what I want".

In the end, both marriages are happy. Both couples walk around with a lot of smiles. Both couples think of themselves as having an extreme dynamic in a way that is meaningful and satisfying to them.

In short, I don't see anything wrong with you testing and pushing. With ME, you'd find that behavior didn't get very far. With this other master, you'd find him grooving on it. *shrugs*

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to behavingbadly)

Post #: 79

RE: Telling a mistress/master what to do? - 10/22/2010 9:19:16 AM

NuevaVida

Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
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quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

In short, I don't see anything wrong with you testing and pushing. With ME, you'd find that behavior didn't get very far. With this other master, you'd find him grooving on it. *shrugs*

Exactly. There are so many generalizations and accusations in this thread my head is spinning.

To be clear, I am not into testing my owner, as I would feel like testing is dishonest and game-playing. In the past, however, I have done it, without realizing it. I needed to know where the boundaries were, and feel them. I needed to feel that assurance that he would uphold them. These days, though, I take my owner at his word, and my feelings of security within his defined boundaries do not have to be reinforced by pushing them.

That said, I do know of couples who, for their own reasons, function optimally - both knowing if he loosens the leash for too long, she'll grab hold of it and run with it. It's just her nature and personality. He finds it completely amusing and yanks her back in as she kicks and screams about it. Not all owners find the OP's behavior to be insulting, un-gratifying, and disrespectful. Some find it entertaining. Not all slaves are actually submissive, after all.

The key is finding someone who best matches your own personality and style. As much as we all like to say there's no right or wrong way of doing things, I'm a bit of a "you're doing it wrong" theme in this thread.

_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 80

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