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Sexual Attraction and Age - 10/22/2010 3:09:14 PM   
jujubeeMB


Posts: 723
Joined: 1/8/2010
Status: offline 		I've been having a disagreement with someone over a very sticky subject (I suppose that's subjective - it's just sticky for me, probably) and I thought I'd see what the general forum thinks. It's a bit biased to ask in a BDSM setting, but I figure it's a good starting point because if anyone is going to be honest about it, BDSMers will be.

Are you sexually attracted to legal adults under the age of 20? Do you think everyone is, or every man is, or only certain men/women are? Is there a point at which you think you're too old to be acting on those fantasies, or even having them? Or do you think that anyone legal is fair game to sleep with?

I'm mainly asking this because I have pretty much believed that a lot of people (with the exception of those specifically into the dynamic) sort of know as they get to a certain age that very young adults are sort of off limits and don't even really find it appropriate to be thinking of them in that way, but it's been brought to my attention that I may be awfully naive I'd love to be set straight on this, if it's an obvious truth, or I'd love for someone to confirm my belief that not everyone is attracted to very young adults.

By the way, please notice that I've said legal adults. I'd really appreciate it if no one gets the thread pulled by mentioning anyone who is not a legal adult.
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RE: Sexual Attraction and Age - 10/22/2010 3:20:23 PM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Hmmmmm....I like younger men but anything younger than 35 seems a bit much these days.

My ex was 10 years younger than me and there were issues about not having things in common and emotional maturity, etc. Of course it was perfect physically. :)

I like to look at hot twentysomething guys, and a few years ago might have dealt with them, but not now.

So I think it is ok to fantasize about anyone LEGAL, it is more a matter of what you actually DO that is important.

I always laugh when I get emails from 18 and 19 year old guys because I am happy to be friends with anyone, but when they hit on me I am both flattered and bemused.

Nowadays, I would feel far too much like I was cradle robbing; I would like a more age appropriate man to connect with.

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RE: Sexual Attraction and Age - 10/22/2010 3:27:23 PM   
WyldHrt


Posts: 6412
Joined: 6/5/2008
Status: offline 		I'm a bad person to ask. I wasn't attracted to 18-21 year olds even when I was one. 

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RE: Sexual Attraction and Age - 10/22/2010 3:37:29 PM   
dreamerdreaming


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quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

I'm a bad person to ask. I wasn't attracted to 18-21 year olds even when I was one. 


This!

I never was attracted to youth, even at that age. And now that kids that age are way younger than my own children- eewww.

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RE: Sexual Attraction and Age - 10/22/2010 3:43:29 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline 		I am VISUALLY attracted to younger female bodies... in some cases as low as maybe the 14 or 15'ish mark although way more typically in the 20-25 range (and here, I am referring to how old they visually look, not how old they actually are).

I have NO thought about actually acting on that. I've generally found myself uninterested in women below the age of 35 -- even when I was 22. While broad brush-strokes are always dangerous, I associate WAY too much drama with that age bracket. It's not something I want to wake up to every morning. Clearly, my opinion would be different if the idea of "casual sex" were somehow palatable to me.

In short, I don't see young women as "off limits". I see them as "a mess".

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RE: Sexual Attraction and Age - 10/22/2010 3:45:22 PM   
LadyRian


Posts: 486
Joined: 9/5/2010
Status: offline 		I can see where some people might be, and I can see why some men might be in particular, but me personally? Nope. I'm attracted to younger men who look older, as in the case of a 25 year old who looks closer to 30, but the baby faced ones....um...nope. Not for me.

I had an argument with someone on this very subject once too, and my impression was that he was attracted not so much to the actual person, but trying to recapture his lost youth, and also that fascination of being the "first man in", which sounds crude, but it's something I've heard of before. Also the 'Svengali" thing, where he would have the ability to shape her into who he wanted for the future. I personally thought that very creepy. 

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RE: Sexual Attraction and Age - 10/22/2010 3:51:14 PM   
Shadow-tiger


Posts: 1775
Joined: 6/8/2008
From: California
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

I'm a bad person to ask. I wasn't attracted to 18-21 year olds even when I was one. 

That's because when you were that age you were the one tempting all those older men!

quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

I've been having a disagreement with someone over a very sticky subject (I suppose that's subjective - it's just sticky for me, probably) and I thought I'd see what the general forum thinks. It's a bit biased to ask in a BDSM setting, but I figure it's a good starting point because if anyone is going to be honest about it, BDSMers will be.

Are you sexually attracted to legal adults under the age of 20? Do you think everyone is, or every man is, or only certain men/women are? Is there a point at which you think you're too old to be acting on those fantasies, or even having them? Or do you think that anyone legal is fair game to sleep with?

Sexually attracted, as in throw 'em down on the bed and have at? Oh hell yeah! The curves of a younger woman are a bit different than an older woman. Neither better nor worse, just something that gets a certain part of the hind brain.

Years back I tried to behave and 'do the right thing', whatever the hell that was. Then I stepped back and just stopped being so uptight about things, trying to conform to what I thought was appropriate.

A big part of sexual attraction goes beyond the physical, it has something to do with how people person carries themselves. Some are shy, some are outgoing, some are uninteresting, others grab my attention and I want to misbehave with them so very badly. I used to think age played a huge role in this, and while I think it plays into how developed someone is.. that visceral attraction is just as happy with the 18-20 as the 38-42 gals.

Beyond that though, for me there's a whole lot more I need than just the sexual attraction. Which is why I won't consider a relationship with someone much younger unless she shows herself to more than just a pretty face. It's a lot of things, but outside your question so I'll just leave it at that.

ETA:
quote:

ORIGINAL: leadership527

I am VISUALLY attracted to younger female bodies... in some cases as low as maybe the 14 or 15'ish mark although way more typically in the 20-25 range (and here, I am referring to how old they visually look, not how old they actually are).

I have NO thought about actually acting on that.

Also, this! Once again someone's put it better than I managed. There's a shocker.

< Message edited by Shadow-tiger -- 10/22/2010 4:01:54 PM >

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RE: Sexual Attraction and Age - 10/22/2010 3:52:09 PM   
BurntKitty


Posts: 3340
Joined: 9/7/2010
From: Here To Eternity.
Status: offline 		For me, they're like an Indy car:  Nice to look at, great performance (subjective, I realize, bear with me here), but not good for day to day life.
It's also a sore subject on my part, as my former SO considered his son's college friend (a 40 year difference, and a 'drunken hook up') was a better match than me.

I won't get involved with anyone who's closer to my son's age (21) than mine.  Hell, Watergate was current events for me, now they read that as "history".

Oh, and get off my lawn you pesky kids...


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RE: Sexual Attraction and Age - 10/22/2010 4:07:14 PM   
DomImus


Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline 		Are you sexually attracted to legal adults under the age of 20?

Clinically speaking, sometimes.

Do you think everyone is, or every man is, or only certain men/women are?

I doubt that the phenomenon occurs only within one set of demographics.

Is there a point at which you think you're too old to be acting on those fantasies,

Me, personally? Yes. What someone else does in that regard is none of my business.

or even having them?

Since we are talking about legal adults here,  having them without acting upon them seems to be a fairly moot point.

Or do you think that anyone legal is fair game to sleep with?

Again, we are talking about legal adults. I might draw the line below a certain age but I wouldn't denounce a peer from my age group from sleeping with them or even marrying them if that was their choice.





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RE: Sexual Attraction and Age - 10/22/2010 4:15:13 PM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB
Or do you think that anyone legal is fair game to sleep with?

Yes.  And I've had 18-21 year olds hit on me, and I dated them.  I was 40-41 at the time  (42 now).  Is that common?  No, of course not.  There are, however, younger women who want the experience/whatever of dating an older guy who's done unusual things.  Why not oblige?


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RE: Sexual Attraction and Age - 10/22/2010 4:19:32 PM   
lally2


Posts: 2621
Joined: 4/16/2009
Status: offline 		not even ever at all.  i just dont find younger men attractive at all.  i like the craggy, lived in face with smiley lines and creases around his mouth and that 'fuckit' attitude older men develop after a while:)) - but then ive always been attracted to men a little older than me.  i like their wisdom and humour.

ive recently been approached by guys from their early twenties and i find it befuddling - when they ask me why i wont, i tell them that theyre at a whole other stage in their life to me and its just poles apart from where my life is right now.

having said that - since im now concentrating on becoming a hedonistic HO - maybe i should give one of those younger guys a whirl - you never know i might turn into a craddle snatcher yet -

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RE: Sexual Attraction and Age - 10/22/2010 4:37:02 PM   
Twoshoes


Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BurntKitty
Oh, and get off my lawn you pesky kids...

Not this again... You call me a pesky kid one more time, lady, I'm throwing a jagged rock through your window!!!

OP, Situation depending. Last 4 women I've been attracted to have been 20-24. I've also been asked out by woman 6 years older than me. People have varying age preferences.

I don't meet as many 18-19 year olds anymore and my mind has been 'slightly cautious' for the past 2 years. If they are impressionable and still learning about their sexuality, I think suggesting D/s to them would be inappropriate.

Now, my sister was with a 27-year-old man when she was 17. They had nothing in common.

Edit: Nevermind. I've never actually had anyone tell me I'm too young.

< Message edited by Twoshoes -- 10/22/2010 5:24:27 PM >

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RE: Sexual Attraction and Age - 10/22/2010 4:45:07 PM   
kiwisub12


Posts: 4742
Joined: 1/11/2006
Status: offline 		When i was looking, online, i had men as young as 28 asking me out(i'm 53) and men as old as 75, and i considered them all. They all knew how old i was, and were (presumably) ok with it.  And honestly, if they were ok, so was i.

The 28 year old wanted to date/dom older women because in his experience, they were less drama prone. I don't know how true that is, but for me, it is. Once i got past the child rearing years, i am way more content, less busy, and more able to express myself spontaneously. And the sex is way better at 50 than 20 ...... or 30 .......... or 40.

I tend to be attracted to men younger than me -  and this is mainly because my first Sir was 11 years older than me - and died!!!!  He left me, and i swore off older men. I want someone who is going to live as long as me, and i find that VERY sexy.

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RE: Sexual Attraction and Age - 10/22/2010 4:48:58 PM   
Zevar


Posts: 801
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

I've been having a disagreement with someone over a very sticky subject (I suppose that's subjective - it's just sticky for me, probably) and I thought I'd see what the general forum thinks. It's a bit biased to ask in a BDSM setting, but I figure it's a good starting point because if anyone is going to be honest about it, BDSMers will be.

Are you sexually attracted to legal adults under the age of 20? Do you think everyone is, or every man is, or only certain men/women are? Is there a point at which you think you're too old to be acting on those fantasies, or even having them? Or do you think that anyone legal is fair game to sleep with?

I'm mainly asking this because I have pretty much believed that a lot of people (with the exception of those specifically into the dynamic) sort of know as they get to a certain age that very young adults are sort of off limits and don't even really find it appropriate to be thinking of them in that way, but it's been brought to my attention that I may be awfully naive I'd love to be set straight on this, if it's an obvious truth, or I'd love for someone to confirm my belief that not everyone is attracted to very young adults.

By the way, please notice that I've said legal adults. I'd really appreciate it if no one gets the thread pulled by mentioning anyone who is not a legal adult.


I am not at all sexually attracted to young women. I do not find younger women’s bodies attractive. I prefer a mature woman’s body. One that has blossomed into a womanly figure with all of the sensual attributes to partake of. Now, that is amazingly pleasurable.

Point in fact, a young woman has been asserting an interest in myself. I know of this young woman through mutual professional contacts. I have rejected all assertions made from her toward myself. I do not find young women attractive due to many reasons.

The main reason is their lack of having lived to have fully matured on an emotionally level. Not that young women cannot demonstrate emotionally maturity, I am sure some can. However commonalities are lacking to discuss; as in what it is like to live have through the late 60’s or 70’s , which is a time of life when a young person could not contribute conversationally with myself, having lived through this time era.

Also I prefer a woman that is an assured and confident lady. Younger women might assert such and indeed be such from their perspective. However for myself, there is nothing like relating with a mature lady that has maintained her passion for life while becoming emotionally mature.

It is imperative for myself to connect in a manner that is not only intellectually satisfactory but also on a level that relates with my generational ideologies. Thus a mature classy lady is my choice, someone capable of gaining and maintaining my attention. Young women though, well I usually feel paternal toward them. Not a mature classy lady, no way. Absolutely not. Preferences differ, without a doubt!

Take care!

< Message edited by Zevar -- 10/22/2010 4:57:30 PM >

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RE: Sexual Attraction and Age - 10/22/2010 4:53:51 PM   
kallisto


Posts: 1185
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: dreamerdreaming


quote:

ORIGINAL: WyldHrt

I'm a bad person to ask. I wasn't attracted to 18-21 year olds even when I was one. 


This!

I never was attracted to youth, even at that age. And now that kids that age are way younger than my own children- eewww.



This is me. But as others have said, it's all a matter of preference.

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RE: Sexual Attraction and Age - 10/22/2010 5:03:34 PM   
favesclava


Posts: 1608
Joined: 2/15/2007
Status: offline 		when younger i was never sexually attractive to younger people . as i grow older i like to look at them but not sexually . what i think in my head when i see an attractive youn person is well the're going to be so attractive when they get to be over 30.

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RE: Sexual Attraction and Age - 10/22/2010 5:22:30 PM   
Nslavu


Posts: 342
Joined: 2/1/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

Are you sexually attracted to legal adults under the age of 20?


All, no, some yes

quote:


Do you think everyone is, or every man is, or only certain men/women are?


"every' is too much of an absolute, so I doubt it would hold any truth. More likely some, maybe even a lot.

quote:


Is there a point at which you think you're too old to be acting on those fantasies, or even having them? Or do you think that anyone legal is fair game to sleep with?


Hell no, but at my age it would be a miracle. I stopped believing in Santa at 7yrs old and started believing in miracles at 57. Clearly it would be a miracle. I would also want to be sure I wasn't being used as a rescue Dom as well so even I have 'some' standards. I think it would be a miracle if they were say under 30, let alone under 20.

I believe in miracles, where you from ...you sexy thing

quote:


I'm mainly asking this because I have pretty much believed that a lot of people (with the exception of those specifically into the dynamic) sort of know as they get to a certain age that very young adults are sort of off limits and don't even really find it appropriate to be thinking of them in that way, but it's been brought to my attention that I may be awfully naive I'd love to be set straight on this, if it's an obvious truth, or I'd love for someone to confirm my belief that not everyone is attracted to very young adults.


The term off-limits is rather difficult to apply to legal age. I think in my case off limits would apply to illegal, or a level of maturity that isn't acceptable in any age, or incompatibility, or a nut job.. a long list that could that would appear in any age.


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RE: Sexual Attraction and Age - 10/22/2010 5:36:16 PM   
Toppingfrmbottom


Posts: 6528
Joined: 6/7/2009
Status: offline 		When the question involves the frase is every one..... The answer is always going to be no. "everyone" varies widly and so there's no such thing as one size fits all "every one"

Yes. I can be attracted to those who're 18. My sexual attraction doesn't know a special number an then say opps sorry I don't recognize you as attractive because your ages number.

And I feel, for me personally cause I am only 28 I don't feel I am to old to indulge in those who're  18. However I don't want them as relationship partners, only those 21 and over, because, and this is horrible I know, but a lot of clubs and places don't allow any one under 21, and I being over 21 want a partner who's legal to drink with.


I don't know if I'd ever feel I am to old to go after thosewho're 18 , since I am still pretty young myself.


quote:

ORIGINAL: jujubeeMB

.

Are you sexually attracted to legal adults under the age of 20? Do you think everyone is, or every man is, or only certain men/women are? Is there a point at which you think you're too old to be acting on those fantasies, or even having them? Or do you think that anyone legal is fair game to sleep with?

I'm mainly asking this because I have pretty much believed that a lot of people (with the exception of those specifically into the dynamic) sort of know as they get to a certain age that very young adults are sort of off limits and don't even really find it appropriate to be thinking of them in that way, but it's been brought to my attention that I may be awfully naive I'd love to be set straight on this, if it's an obvious truth, or I'd love for someone to confirm my belief that not everyone is attracted to very young adults.

By the way, please notice that I've said legal adults. I'd really appreciate it if no one gets the thread pulled by mentioning anyone who is not a legal adult.


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RE: Sexual Attraction and Age - 10/22/2010 5:44:58 PM   
poise


Posts: 9509
Joined: 7/3/2010
Status: offline 		I still feel that momentary spark of sexual attraction, although it's more fleeting as I get older.
I used to look, mentally drool, and say to myself  "I bet he'd be great in bed"
Now I look, remind myself how old I am, and say " I wonder how many things I could teach him in bed"
Neither thought has motivated me enough to act on them.

My preference can be summed up in a little ditty I once posted elsewhere on the boards.
(no offense to the younger generation please!)

Older men drive better, they hug curves, take the long way home.
Younger men get excited revving their own engine, afraid you'll
change your mind if they don't drive fast enough.



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RE: Sexual Attraction and Age - 10/22/2010 5:49:21 PM   
WolfyMontgomery


Posts: 234
Joined: 9/28/2010
Status: offline 		Honestly, age in and of itself holds no difference for me, it's actually HOW old they look like - if anything.

Granted I am young. But I can honestly say that most men that look very young are not all that attractive to me - I think it has something to do with the fact that in the appearance of said youth a good majority of them have something of an immature feel to them (like they way their pants are hanging down below their knees). There are plenty of guys that are 18 that I've been attracted to, but it's because they looked - in all aspects of the word - older and more mature. Younger girls in the same concept - if they look immature I tend to avoid them, but if they're beautiful and have that aura of knowing who they are and what they want, I'm drooling MORE than Master XP

Same goes for older men and women. I don't want someone who looks as old as my parents, I want someone who looks somewhat close to my age range. If you happen to be fifty five but you still look like you're in your late twenties early thirties, and I like you, yeah, I'll have at it. It's just that chances are I won't be interested in someone that old because they won't look that young and able and (no offense meant, but the statement in my head made me giggle so I gotta use it) they need to look fresh, like fresh fruit versus old fruit.

And I will honestly admit, I have looked at some fifty year olds even who did look old who - while they didn't necessarily turn me on per-say - they were very attractive in their knowing who they are and what they want and their assuredness. Those types of people I actually enjoy meeting at non-sex dungeon parties so that they can use me as a demonstration to teach my Master and me new things. I have no qualms being butt-naked and getting beaten in the ass by them! I just don't want to fuck them. =P


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