DMFParadox
Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline
|
quote:
ORIGINAL: dewillac
Thank you for your response. I write romance novels and my first will be published in February. My second book has taken a new direction and involves BDSM. I have actually have several questions.
I'm confused about Master vs. Dom. Are they the same? How are they different? Is training required to become a Master? Can one Dom generally see those traits another man? Is it possible that a man could be a Dom and his wife not know? Can a Dom sell a sub? Why? How? How long is the relationship? Why would a relationship end? If the sub wants out, how is that accomplished? If the sub is released from the Dom, can she come back? Can a Dom buy a sub, sell her to another, and on and on? Thank you for any help you can provide to me.
Pat
February seems like it's the month for publishing things, lately. I wonder why that is.
>>I'm confused about Master vs. Dom. Are they the same?
Some people make the distinction that a 'Master' is a lifestyle, 24/7 TPE dominant, and a 'Dom' is strictly bedroom.
Mostly, it's just whatever label you prefer. I don't like 'Dom' because my name is... well, it gets confusing.
>>Can one Dom generally see those traits another man?
No, but there are clues. Collars on the girlfriend are a big tipoff. Some tattoos and clothing choices can give a hint; I saw a 'S&M' patch recently that couldn't be more blatant.
Generally, you have to advertise if you're going to be known as one. In my day to day life, I'm about as mellow and 'normal' as you can get. Only if you ask me or see me flirting would you get the idea that I approach things a certain way.
>> Is it possible that a man could be a Dom and his wife not know?
Highly unlikely, but possible.
>> Can a Dom sell a sub?
It happens, but you're not going to find the people who do this around here. But there are many subs and doms both that are in prostitution; look more towards the porn industry for answers there, or talk to some of the prostitutes who advertise 'BDSM friendly' on backpage.com.
As for outright selling 'ownership', you're talking white slave trade. Which also happens, but certainly not in the 'mainstream' of BDSM. You'll have to look into crime that shades into BDSM, not the reverse.
>> How long is the relationship? Why would a relationship end?
For the normal reasons. The #1 most common is money problems, just like mainstream america.
However, in BDSM you also often find relationships ending because one or both partners are not satisfied with their role; either because it's too much that the D wants from the s, or, as seems more common from a poll of the complaints on these boards, not enough effort to put a sub in the mindset they're looking for.
>> If the sub wants out, how is that accomplished?
Usually? They say 'our marriage is ended' three times. Wait, that's Islam.
The usual way is by saying thanks but no thanks, and just leaving. Sometimes after agonizing soul-searching... just like mainstream breakups.
>> If the sub is released from the Dom, can she come back?
Depends on the D, but if the will is there I see no reason why not. I'd say it's possible if the problems that caused the initial breakup have been resolved, and events reignite the spark.
>> Can a Dom buy a sub, sell her to another, and on and on?
You already asked this... and in the sense of an outright purchase, not usually. But in the broader sense of someone taking on more of a challenge than they're economically viable for, and losing that challenge to someone who can hold it down, it happens all the time. I don't think that's as romantic a notion as what you were going for, though.
< Message edited by DMFParadox -- 11/11/2010 9:18:57 AM >
_____________________________
bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight
"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe
|
RE: Research - 
Profile
New Messages
No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages
Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages
Locked w/o New Messages
Post New Thread