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Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM - 11/20/2010 5:00:29 PM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline 		I send observational notes to profiles that catch my eye while signing on. Harmless, neutral, conversational overtures.

Where the women are concerned:

(1) 50-65% of those notes go unread.

(2) 15% are read without a reply.

(3) 15% are read with a nominal reply of either a few words or one short sentence.

(4) 5% might write two sentences or more.

(5) 1% might engage. (AKA, read my profile and the reply says something of thoughtful, responsive interest.)

This concerns just simple conversational PMs, neutral in content (non sexual) but related to the recipient's profile.

I'm not putting forth a great deal of effort or thought in sending the message to the recipient (its just a spontaneous thought, usually) -- just stuff you'd say to someone you meet in passing on the ST.

I don't ever take offense. I am not herein complaining.

The stats above have not been scientifically recorded.

Curious what your observations are. The standard line here is that Fs get such a high volume of mail and that so much of it is inappropriate that such messages as the one's I'm sending get ignored or filtered into oblivion. Beyond that, I am somewhat struck by the lack of curiosity on the other side and the near total disinclination to engage.

Other standard reasons that I see are: (1) Kink misalignment; (2) already in a relationship; (3) age differences; (4) suspicious of the Trojan Horse, etc. -- result in someone who is generally "not interested."

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 11/20/2010 5:05:05 PM >
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM - 11/20/2010 5:05:27 PM   
LadyHibiscus


Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline 		I read all my mail--with the scrollover feature, that's even easier.

Most people get a response of some sort, a thank you for a compliment, that soert of thing. Questions get answered, sometimes conversations ensue.

I send out random mails myself, in response to profiles, and not all of it gets read, either. Some folk are just very specific in their purpose here, I guess, andconversation with anyone not a potential ONE is not of interest.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]



(in reply to cloudboy)
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RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM - 11/20/2010 5:05:41 PM   
littlewonder


Posts: 15659
Status: offline 		I have men send me little notes about something in my profile all the time.

I either don't respond at all or send maybe a one or two liner back because to be honest their email had nothing in it to respond to. I mean what exactly can you say to an email that says "I like your profile"...uumm...thanks?

Now if they send a note with a little more oommpphh and punch, something that's worthwhile then I will respond in like but ya know in all the years that I've been on this site those have been few and far between. I would say the number has been less than 5.


(in reply to cloudboy)
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RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM - 11/20/2010 5:22:38 PM   
gungadin09


Posts: 3232
Joined: 3/19/2010
Status: offline 		i'm antisocial.

pam

(in reply to littlewonder)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM - 11/20/2010 5:24:49 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		Got an interesting email the other day, sort of a philosophy on how he views BDSM. I wrote back a note that I believed would garner more conversation. Just a friendly letter but no reply at all. Happens from both sides, even friendly gestures!

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to cloudboy)
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RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM - 11/20/2010 5:26:12 PM   
anniezz338


Posts: 1183
Joined: 8/17/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

i'm antisocial.

pam


LMAO

(in reply to gungadin09)
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RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM - 11/20/2010 5:29:38 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline 		There is a good chance that much of your 50-65% unread were filtered through mail preferences and simply never received by those you sent the email to. Perhaps you didn't fall within their demographic preferences?

I felt so bad about not responding to emails, that I put a disclaimer in my profile telling people that unless I know them or interact with them here on the MB - I wont' be responding. I don't even know WHY I'm so opposed to responding to emails, except that I received so many rude responses when I didn't say whatever it was they were expecting to hear back; I just got tired of it.

Usually, however, if the email is just a friendly or kind neutral overture I will respond with a kind word back. Unfortunately, experience has shown me that those neutral overtures were just manipulative strategies to get a response, and when it was obvious that the strategy wasn't working toward 'winning me over' YEP rude remarks... I'm not sure why, but men (in general) appear to be especially prone toward being offensive when they don't get whatever it is they want.

Now, my profile is as unappealing as I can make it. I hardly EVER get any mail these days, and I like it that way.

< Message edited by WinsomeDefiance -- 11/20/2010 5:32:36 PM >

(in reply to littlewonder)
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RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM - 11/20/2010 5:40:12 PM   
pet38


Posts: 1
Joined: 10/7/2005
Status: offline 		Agree with littlewonder. Give me something to respond back to, things like hello, good morning, lines of porn, what kind of response do you expect back. Give us something/reason to respond back to.

And yes, I know my profile is empty, this is my testing the water again after few years away, things
haven't changed much.

(in reply to anniezz338)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM - 11/20/2010 6:29:40 PM   
Elisabella


Posts: 3939
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: gungadin09

i'm antisocial.




Same. For real.

(in reply to gungadin09)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM - 11/20/2010 7:08:15 PM   
Twoshoes


Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline 		People write me to tell me they like my shoes. I'm all like "yawn". I don't really like to wear those anymore.

I understand why reading/answering tons of email is bothersome, but I don't see why someone couldn't write more than three words. When I encounter one-liners, a witty sentence is all they might get. I need at least something to have a conversation about.

< Message edited by Twoshoes -- 11/20/2010 7:21:11 PM >

(in reply to Elisabella)
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RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM - 11/20/2010 7:09:53 PM   
WinsomeDefiance


Posts: 6719
Joined: 8/7/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes

People write me to tell me they like my shoes. I'm all like "yawn". I don't really like to wear those anymore.



fickle bitch!

(in reply to Twoshoes)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM - 11/20/2010 7:19:13 PM   
Twoshoes


Posts: 1218
Joined: 7/27/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WinsomeDefiance
quote:

ORIGINAL: Twoshoes
People write me to tell me they like my shoes. I'm all like "yawn". I don't really like to wear those anymore.

fickle bitch!

So true.

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM - 11/20/2010 7:22:45 PM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		I'm very much in alignment with Winsome's first post.  I do have it in My profile that I will only respond to people from the message boards or those who are local to Me.  I have to admit that even someone who has just a few posts might not get an in-depth reply if they are just mentioning something in My profile or I've already addressed a question that they've brought up on the boards.  If there's a current thread on what they want to discuss, I won't go into as much detail through email because I've already said My piece on the matter on the thread.  No need to give the same information twice. 

Of the reasons that you are stating that may be reasons that folks don't respond, I'm thinking that number 2 happens more often than some people might think, but probably not nearly as often as some women wish would be taken into consideration.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to WinsomeDefiance)
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RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM - 11/20/2010 9:27:35 PM   
DomImus


Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy
I'm not putting forth a great deal of effort or thought in sending the message to the recipient


Maybe they sense that and see no real need to respond in light of it.

(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM - 11/20/2010 9:43:56 PM   
cloudboy


Posts: 7306
Joined: 12/14/2005
Status: offline 		Well, I know what happens in my case -- but what about you -- do you send out any conversational PMs, and how does it go? One might think it would be a little better than a cold calling salesman or phone solicitor --- but in many ways its actually just the same.

< Message edited by cloudboy -- 11/20/2010 9:44:44 PM >

(in reply to DomImus)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM - 11/20/2010 9:44:40 PM   
geminox


Posts: 1
Joined: 11/19/2010
Status: offline 		using the message boards as a vetting process is one way to approach the site. however some people just dont usually get into the message board / forum thing and are on the site as a personals type resource. i guess im saying that when youre first logged in it seems the site displays folks that match your last search profile.

obviously there is alot of spam and scheming going on, so maybe if there was some way to avoid being listed in the front page of searches or something people who arent looking for casual little tweet like responses wouldnt get them as they wouldnt pop up when people log in. i do understand what the original poster means, you invite someone to have a look at your profile..(assuming they actual get a chance to read it beyond their filters, etc..) rather than just copy and pasting in what you already explained in the profile for the initial encounter at least...

its like if you arent already involved in the community, then youre thoughts or casual greetings are worthless or something.
i dunno.

(in reply to DomImus)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM - 11/20/2010 11:57:00 PM   
subinlife


Posts: 263
Joined: 5/20/2008
Status: offline 		I always answer my e-mails, even if it is just to say thank you for a profile comment. I have sent out comments on profiles and recieved no answer, but that is ok. If someone actually reads my profile I'm impressed. I love the e-mails that start with I read your profile and then they say something that tells you there is no way they read your profile.

(in reply to geminox)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM - 11/21/2010 12:03:16 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

I read all my mail--with the scrollover feature, that's even easier.

Most people get a response of some sort, a thank you for a compliment, that soert of thing. Questions get answered, sometimes conversations ensue.

I send out random mails myself, in response to profiles, and not all of it gets read, either. Some folk are just very specific in their purpose here, I guess, andconversation with anyone not a potential ONE is not of interest.


This.

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM - 11/21/2010 4:02:51 AM   
wandersalone


Posts: 4666
Joined: 11/21/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cloudboy

I send observational notes to profiles that catch my eye while signing on. Harmless, neutral, conversational overtures.

Cloudboy can you give an example of what one of your notes would say?


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(in reply to cloudboy)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: Neutral Overtures -- via CM PM - 11/21/2010 4:41:10 AM   
xssve


Posts: 3589
Joined: 10/10/2009
Status: offline 		I've sent neutral PM's and gotten response, in the same spirit - though I usually include a reference as to why they're neutral - i.e., they're so far away that the chances of anything happening is unlikely, etc.

I don't send out a lot of PM's, the only real complaint I have is once or twice they've simply assumed I'm after them, and given me the business, but I think maybe that only happened once, that I remember - I didn't have a pic on my profile, and she stated on her profile, no pic, no reply.

She replied anyway, of course, just to excoriate me for PMing her without having a pic - I told her she was too young for me anyway, I prefer more mature women. lol.

(in reply to wandersalone)
Profile   Post #: 20
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