Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Another thread about control.. and anyone can reply!


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Another thread about control.. and anyone can reply! Page: <<   < prev  3 4 5 6 [7]
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Another thread about control.. and anyone can reply! - 12/15/2010 11:08:53 PM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: NuevaVida

You can say it's not slavery if you like.  Slavery is a far more familiar and simpler term than to walk around saying I live in a concomitant consequence of the emotional and psychological exchange between us. 

Okay, that made me laugh my ass off.  Yes, it's a simple term, but ultimately what you're saying is 'Slavery is whatever I want it to mean'.  Which is fine - but if you're going to quibble about somebody's slightly different definition of slavery, then you're just dropping into a discussion over semantics.

If follows then, that trying to do relative comparisons of "who's the best little slave" is downright asinine.

(in reply to NuevaVida)
Profile   Post #: 121
RE: Another thread about control.. and anyone can reply! - 12/15/2010 11:15:30 PM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

With respect, Awareness, you are incorrect.  A "slave" is also:  a person entirely under the domination of some influence or person:
  Note the use of the word 'entirely'.  Would it not then follow, young miss, that if someone is entirely under the domination of some influence or person that they would then be unable to resist any command given them?

What I'm addressing is the gap between the reality which some slaves appear to present - "I am his, he owns me, there is nothing he cannot demand from me, how can you call him your Master if you don't trust him utterly?", with the actual reality that all slaves have limits - even if those limits are pared back to simple self-preservation.

It's not my definitions which matter, but the difference between talk and action.  Between presentation and reality.  Internal consistency.

I am amused to discover that some have a very hard time understanding this.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 122
RE: Another thread about control.. and anyone can reply! - 12/15/2010 11:18:12 PM   
NuevaVida


Posts: 6707
Joined: 8/5/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

Okay, that made me laugh my ass off.  Yes, it's a simple term, but ultimately what you're saying is 'Slavery is whatever I want it to mean'.  Which is fine - but if you're going to quibble about somebody's slightly different definition of slavery, then you're just dropping into a discussion over semantics.


Glad ya laughed.

But I'm not quibbling.  I'm stating the fact that a myriad different dictionaries are going to show you a longer list of definitions than the one you have pointed to as the sole definition.  If I am not mistaken, I'm not the one telling others their definition of slavery is incorrect (and calling it a concomitant consequence of the emotional and psychological exchange, lol).  I'm really not interested in competing definitions, just asking you to be open to the idea that there's more than one.

quote:


If follows then, that trying to do relative comparisons of "who's the best little slave" is downright asinine.



I'm not understanding what you are saying here, and if the "best little slave" comment was aimed at me, I don't know where that came from at all.  The last thing I'd waste my energy on is caring about who's a better slave.


_____________________________

Live Simply. Love Generously. Care Deeply. Speak Kindly.



(in reply to Awareness)
Profile   Post #: 123
RE: Another thread about control.. and anyone can reply! - 12/15/2010 11:25:27 PM   
sunshinemiss


Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline 		No, I get what you are saying (heaven knows I *GET* it  - as in understand *wink).  But the example that was given on the definition that I took was drugs... from dictionary.com:

–noun
1.
a person who is the property of and wholly subject to another; a bond servant. 2.
a person entirely under the domination of some influence or person: a slave to a drug. 3.
a drudge: a housekeeping slave.  Even people who are slaves to drugs, aren't slaves to it in every circumstance. What *I'm* amused by is why does it matter?  People use all manner of words to describe themselves when they aren't really that at all.  There is a gap with most communication, most words and definitions, and certainly amongst people.  People want to call themselves one horned flying purple polka dotted t-rex's, meh.  Who really cares?  Of course with your name.... ~giggles~  I do like your name.  that was a "I enjoy it" giggle, not a "making fun of" giggle. Come on... life isn't black and white.  You know that.  People are gonna call themselves whatever they are going to no matter what.  People are going to put others down and say "you aren't twue and weal because I am the Ambassador of that and I know everything." Ah well, I have to get going.  I appreciate chatting you up and such, but I don't think I care enough about the topic to go further... although if it allows me to flirt with intelligent interesting men... welllllll... I might come back.   

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to Awareness)
Profile   Post #: 124
RE: Another thread about control.. and anyone can reply! - 12/16/2010 7:09:47 AM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		Awareness, my philosophy is one that was created by simply LIVING it for years.  Just out of morbid curiousity, what is your experience?  Seeing that you are i believe dom type, could all of this simply be coming from you because YOU have not yet been capable of bringing a woman into the concept of what i and yes, others speak?  Its not a bad thing but it does leave you hanging on the tails of others TRYING to understand what it is they are speaking about.  If you haven't WANTED to bring a woman to that, i don't get why you are so desperate than to try and pretend what i and yes others speak about.  If you HAVE brought a woman to what i speak about, then you are either simply playing devils advocate or you didn't understand what you brought about when you mastered the woman.

However, you seem AWFULLY antagonistic TOWARDS ME, when what i speak about HAS been spoken about by others, so forgive me if i draw the conclusions your antagonism is towards me for some reason.   i have no clue what has your panties in a twist with regards to me.  If you don't "like" me lol join the crowd because most people who aren't able to get to know me don't on the message board. 

The point is its NOT about semantics, its about life.  Life people actually DO live.  Perception is based on the individual person.  If what i say about what MY life was as a slave offends or threatens you -- which it seems to do -- i can't help you as you seem awfully concerned about MY life.  Grant it what i lived doesn't seem to be what many people experience but there are a few people who have.  You don't have to accept it -- it won't change what my life was for the years i was a slave.  Its okay Awareness, your beliefs really don't threaten my reality and actuality.  I also know when i post my beliefs don't threaten anyone else's reality or actuality. 

What you aren't understanding from the other thread -- sorry but you keep wanting to tangent off topic here, is that what YOU SPEAK OF about boundries, choices or whatever you want to call it WAS MOOT in my relationship when i was under his absolute control because of his mastery.  Maybe you don't want to understand it, but when i was a slave most of the stuff on these discussions boards were MOOT in our relationship.  We lived our lives.  We didn't discuss them in terms of a message board and we didn't psychoanalyze them.  I speak of the relationship as i lived it.  So i can't help you don't like that i don't and didn't spend all this time asking hey am i doing this right or the way awareness would approve of.  As you will find i am sure you are getting pms from a couple people telling you ALL about how right you are in your assessments and the little comments people will through to you to validate your perceptions of me.  That's okay, seriously, they need to do that and you need to hear it.  But in the end, i am not here to be part of the crowd, i don't allow most people to get to know me, and when i post i post as i am on a discussion board, i don't post to make friends.  I do that on the other side and am pretty selective as many people have found out.

Yes i post in a very ummmm firm manner, i know what i am talking about.  I don't ask for approval or permission to describe what i know in threads like this.  I don't post for validation.  Over the years, yes my posts many times irritate the hell out of many people, but they also help some people understand that not being in the majority of what other people experience is OK.  Because despite people believing they are all agreeable to many other ways of experiencing slavery, they really aren't.  So i post as i do because it gives many other people a different perception of a slave's life.  Again, you are arrogant if you remotely believe i must obtain YOUR approval for what i speak of.  Sorry, but i am very secure in my views and while you can blather and blubber about how conceited or mean or unbending i am in my views, i don't post FOR you.  I post in a discussion, not for validation.

I don't know what corner i am in, you are the one stomping your feet and thinking you can somehow discredit me.  I am simply trying to figure out what your antagonism is all about.  You seem threatened by me in your continued attacks on me.  If it wasn't that i refused to keep exchanging emails with you then what is it?  You don't like how i post -- well get in line lol most people don't.  You don't like i am very firm and unbending as to what i see as slavery, again get in line.  To live my life, i don't need to bend with regard to what i see as slavery.   I never understand the need for approval or someone okaying what someone lives.  So what if i disagree as to something being slavery, is it REALLY going to have someone changing their lives or definitions they use -- i would say no.  If they do, then its their decision lol.


As for your emailing me -- here are the basic facts -- YOU contacted me so its a pretty good conclusion that YOU wanted MY attention.  I didn't say anything about you hitting on me, i said YOU wanted my attention.  The fact that you messaged me wanting to discuss something is a pretty good indication you wanted my attention.  I responded back once, you replied seeming to want to continue with the discussion which is a pretty good indication you again wanted my attention.  I didn't respond and then suddenly you are focusing on me rather antagonistically on the public message boards.  I don't understand your comments.   I never said anything or presumed you were hitting on me, but you did want my attention privately and it seems when i didn't give it you decided to try and get it publically. That's all.

I really have no clue where your comments are coming from awareness, you are the one who jumped down MY throat with your barefeet and overhanging toenails and seem to be getting more and more pissed off and attacking me because i won't what change the way i post, or my viewpoints for YOU?   grins, i have no issue with you, i think you are amusing because i can't quite figure out why you are so antagonistic towards me.  I don't need to ignore you lol.  grins, but you are amusing.

angel

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 12/16/2010 7:13:23 AM >

_____________________________


What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson


(in reply to Awareness)
Profile   Post #: 125
RE: Another thread about control.. and anyone can reply! - 12/16/2010 8:06:16 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		angel,

I am curious, but would quite understand if you would prefer not to answer... How did your relationship end? Were you simply released, or did your master no longer hold mastery over you?

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to barelynangel)
Profile   Post #: 126
RE: Another thread about control.. and anyone can reply! - 12/16/2010 8:26:36 AM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		He no longer held mastery over me and after he withdrew his mastery.  I then decided to stay desperate to pretend i was held in his mastery still and his determination by MY CHOICE.  i knew what i was choosing to do.  i made the wrong choice to try and stay when i know he didn't hold me, but i held myself.  i do know the difference.   My choice wasn't the best for me and his best friend made a different one for me and for my former Master.  grins one could say his will became stronger than both mine and my former Master's put together.

Some people know the story - i spoke of it once a long time ago on the Gorean boards, but when i speak of what i do, i know the difference between absolute control due to mastery and a woman making the choice to stay and determine how she will hold herself in slavery and her actually having the control.  The latter to me is not M/s its humoring the man and lying to herself.  I speak of the former mostly because that to me was the M/s relationship and what i know best, i don't speak of the latter because MY experience is rather negative and many people have wonderful experience to explain it far better than i could. 

angel

< Message edited by barelynangel -- 12/16/2010 8:44:12 AM >

_____________________________


What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson


(in reply to crazyml)
Profile   Post #: 127
RE: Another thread about control.. and anyone can reply! - 12/16/2010 8:48:55 AM   
crazyml


Posts: 5568
Joined: 7/3/2007
Status: offline 		Thank-you angel, for sharing that.

_____________________________

Remember.... There's always somewhere on the planet where it's jackass o'clock.

(in reply to barelynangel)
Profile   Post #: 128
RE: Another thread about control.. and anyone can reply! - 12/16/2010 11:32:09 AM   
Coryburnside


Posts: 1
Joined: 12/16/2010
Status: offline 		To be honest i enjoy being the submissive because i really dont enjoy the idea of giving up control of anything in life. From work to arguments. I hold as much control over what ever events i can. Thats why being out of control completely within reason is so apealing. Because its not something im use to. Id say that in general there are more people that like loosing control then there is taking it. It takes a very strong person to take all options away from their partner or a stranger suited for the ocation. But in another reguard i enjoy taking control also because there is something to say about being that much in control of what someone else feels and thinks. The only problem with taking it is when the gag is securly in place you never know how much your partner can handle. So you tend to be reserved. For example i was with a woman that enjoyed being beaten on whyle she was tied. Nothing to bad but enough to make her cry is what she wanted. i was hesitant due to the idea that at that point she could in turn have me charged with assult. It all depends on who your with and the qualitty of relationship before hand. So when a gag is used and the person dosent want a safe word or gesture how do you know how far to actually take it. And how far would you take it given the circumstance? But i myself in general when not in control dont like the idea of a safe word it gives me way to many options to bow out gracefully and takes away from the expirience.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 129
RE: Another thread about control.. and anyone can reply! - 12/16/2010 2:31:31 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

I'm owned all the time HE owns me. If he decided he wanted to rid himself of me, in ANY way, I'd no longer be owned...at all.....by anyone.

Taking your *being sold* scenario........I'd give my collar back once it was clear he no longer wanted me. He wouldn't get as far as selling me, as the fact that he didn't want to be with me, would render the whole thing null and void anyway.

I'm his property all the while I'm his. Once I'm not, then, nope, I'm back to being the free-agent I was before. So, while he has authority over my life, that exists because I am owned by HIM and because I WANT to be owned by HIM.

There were reasons for me asking him to own me, and reasons for him taking me on......once those things disappear, we don't have a relationship at all, let alone an M/s one.

agirl


Hmmmm.  This is kind of what I expected.

The reason I ask is that because from a certain point of view, there's an offensive connotation to calling yourself a slave when real slavery has been practiced and caused untold pain to people for millenia.  I see people casually tossing around the word 'slave' with a free abandon that suggests they're unaware of the true meaning of the word and have appropriated it for what is basically kink.  My question is around determining how close to that reality self-identified slaves go.  In my discussions with various slaves, it's become clear there's a wealth of difference between that kink and the reality.

This isn't some kind of righteous crusade, but more an exploration of the reality behind a so-called slave and what that definition means.  It seems especially appropriate when you have one slave denigrating the experience of the rest as "not true M/s".



I rarely use the term slave, but to all intents and purposes, it often means the same as *owned* or *property* or *submissive*, when people use it.

Yes, I understand you're not on a crusade , but even though the *selling* scenario simply wouldn't arise, I gave you the real answer as to what would happen BECAUSE I'm nothing like an historical slave.

The word *slave* was in use in the bdsm M/s D/s world, way before I came along. It's an adopted term. The majority of us KNOW we aren't up for being sold or indeed many things that perhaps an historical slave endured, such as having our children taken from us etc etc.

........ " because from a certain point of view, there's an offensive connotation to calling yourself a slave when real slavery has been practiced and caused untold pain to people for millenia.".......

....It really doesn't bother me in the least whether anyone finds it offensive that the bdsm world has adopted the term to describe an authority/control relationship.

agirl



(in reply to Awareness)
Profile   Post #: 130
RE: Another thread about control.. and anyone can reply! - 12/16/2010 8:52:08 PM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline 		  *grin*  angel, you're a lot more transparent than you realise, girl.  And crikey, you lie like a trooper.

It only takes someone to read our respective posts and determine where the antagonism is girl.  You've made a number of accusations, been insulting, tried to imply things that clearly aren't true and now you're playing the poor little slave girl being victimised by the antagonistic Dom?   I've accused you of posturing, which is exactly what you're doing and conceit which is exactly what you're displaying.  Spare me the claims of sweet innocence.

Are you truly so lacking in self-awareness?  Do you truly believe that others are so blind?

My original comment wasn't even aimed at you.  It simply mentioned you and expressed the idea that I felt you'd missed something and that your concept of 'absolute M/s' didn't exist.  It was a discussion about concepts and ideas, not about you.  You're the one whose ego was pricked and immediately jumped in to defend it.  I was interested in the discussion, but heck if I really did want your attention, I certainly got it.  And I'm still getting it.  Apparently, I'm a master at getting your attention.  Believe me, it's not the accomplishment you seem to think it is.  Unfortunately for your ego, that is not what this is about.  Some of us work with ideas angel and our concern and interest extends beyond simple personalities.  Your speculations about our emails are simply your own ego talking.  Nothing more.

And let's get something straight right now.  You didn't *live* M/s.  You lived something which YOU call M/s.  In other words, your definition is based purely on your own experience and is no more or less valid than that of anyone else.  What you've done in your own mind is set this up as a gold standard and decided to declare that this is the definitive definition of M/s.  Honestly, I think if you can't handle having your definitions challenged, then you shouldn't be bringing up your relationship in a discussion as an example.

Frankly angel, I find your hysterical little tantrums amusing.  Especially the bits where you simply make up stories about me, my motivations or my intentions.  Now you seem to think I'm on a crusade to 'discredit' you?  Are you for real?  And you think people are emailing me to talk about YOU?   Here's the thing angel - not one person has mentioned you to me in PM or anything else.  I knew you were conceited, I didn't realise you thought the world revolved around you.  Either that or you've got one hell of a persecution complex.  Tell me, are there any other little psychological little dramas going on in your head that I should know about?  Have you accused anyone here of stalking you yet?  Good grief, girl - try making friends with reality once in a while.  It'll give you some perspective.

What I see very clearly is that you're unable to participate in a discussion because it's you who feels threatened.  I barely mention your life, YOU keep on rambling on about it.  You keep on accusing me of being antagonistic, yet it's you who keeps throwing the stones.  And anyone who's read the discussion will very clearly see this.  I'm really beginning to get the impression that either you're not all there or you're not quite sane.  Because certainly your long rambling posts are not the product of a crystal clear mind grounded in reality.

(in reply to barelynangel)
Profile   Post #: 131
RE: Another thread about control.. and anyone can reply! - 12/16/2010 9:05:25 PM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

I rarely use the term slave, but to all intents and purposes, it often means the same as *owned* or *property* or *submissive*, when people use it.

Yes, I understand you're not on a crusade , but even though the *selling* scenario simply wouldn't arise, I gave you the real answer as to what would happen BECAUSE I'm nothing like an historical slave.

Human trafficking is not a historical oddity, it's an ever-present reality.  Somewhere, right now, an 8 year old girl is being bought and sold as a slave.  When I see people engaging in discussions where they discuss 'true', 'real' or 'absolute' slavery as kink concepts it boggles my mind that they can do so without a trace of irony.

quote:

The word *slave* was in use in the bdsm M/s D/s world, way before I came along. It's an adopted term. The majority of us KNOW we aren't up for being sold or indeed many things that perhaps an historical slave endured, such as having our children taken from us etc etc.
  If that's the case, then using the words 'owned' or 'property' is stupid.  Either that, or people have to acknowledge that they're role-playing.   Property doesn't have options.  Someone who is owned doesn't have options.  To claim that you're owned but that this ownership has conditions is semantic masturbation.

Role-playing is one thing.  Trying to bring Double-Think into your kink is quite another.

quote:

....It really doesn't bother me in the least whether anyone finds it offensive that the bdsm world has adopted the term to describe an authority/control relationship.
Well, as Westerners, we all do tend to be rather self-absorbed, don't we.

(in reply to agirl)
Profile   Post #: 132
RE: Another thread about control.. and anyone can reply! - 12/17/2010 4:45:02 AM   
barelynangel


Posts: 6233
Status: offline 		lol okay awareness, you just keep on telling everyone what to think of my posts and how to take my posts.  You do realize i have been posting on this board for a long while and even those who don't like me would have to admit i am consistent in what i post.  So i really don't get your statement's i am now "lying?" 

What the hell am i posturing about?  My beliefs of M/s?  Seriously?  grins, what do you really think you are going to accomplish with your posts, that i will be sooo crushed i will stop posting about what i believe and know?  Sorry, umm well no.  Do you really think people are sooo stupid that they need YOUR determination about me to make a decision about me?  Umm well, see most people are intelligent and don't NEED you to make their own determinations.  Do you really believe that what you say here is anything more than a game i am playing with you because you are amusing?  Sorry but no, its no more than a game that brings me amusement.  Awareness, i have been posting consistently with regard to my beliefs on M/s for a long time, do you really believe you are THE DOMINANT who is going to tell me how it is?   grins, ummm yeah okay, i will make a note.

No, i don't live M/s right now, but i did for 8 years.  Again, how about you?    You seem awfully reluctant to put YOUR experience on the line.  I put mine on the line everytime i post about it. That is the ONLY concept i use to post about M/s MY EXPERIENCE.   Because i am a firm believer if i don't know about it, and don't have first hand knowledge of it, i rarely will post about a concept.  grins, are you seriously sitting here telling me what i am doing?  Did you actually say -- a man who has no clue about MY life --- "Let's get this straight" about MY life? Lord that's is incredible.  


Umm Awareness, who's hysterical?  Who's throwing a tanturm?  You are the one throwing insults, stamping his foot, demanding i concede to what you are saying about ME.  Have you read your posts to me?  If i am throwing a tantrum and hysterical, i'd hate to see what you define what YOU are doing lol.

Who exactly are you trying to convince?  It seems to me you are trying to convince yourself more than anyone.

Yes, i am very firm in my beliefs, always have been.  And?  Are YOU that threatened by my beliefs that you have spent all this time insulting me in EVERY SINGLE post you have made TO me?  Is   What do you think you are "putting me in my place" or discrediting me?  Awareness, you are simply amusing me?   Your desperation to TELL others what to think of my posts is amusing.  

quote:

Especially the bits where you simply make up stories about me, my motivations or my intentions.  Now you seem to think I'm on a crusade to 'discredit' you?  Are you for real? 


Umm Awareness, i had to quote this part because its incredible to me.  Where have i made up stories about you?  Your motivations and intentions are what i am trying seriously to figure out because like i said you seem awfully focused on me.  In fact, i think i see a little spittal on your lip as you type lol. 

As far as people emailing you, there are a couple people on this board who would be gleeful at what you are saying Awareness, and while they may not have done it with you, they have decided to talk ABOUT me in the past.  So yeah, i presume they still do so, especially with new people.  If they haven't, then maybe they have grown up.   It's not conceit, its speaking from experience as some people aren't as receptive to people's negative pms and contacted ME to let me know what was going on. 

Umm Awareness, are you done yet trying to tell me like it is?  I mean i am trying to let you get it all out, but it is really getting a little dull now as you are repeating yourself.  Your last paragraph is just incredible Awareness.   You are correct, i think many people who read this discussion will take a lot of what's been said into account.

Now, as your posts are beyond attacking and you seem to now simply have given up pretense of trying to discuss the concept of M/s and instead are simply throwing attacks and insults at me, i am done.  Yes, i am discussing MY LIFE because that is how i discuss M/s.  I discuss based on MY experience.  No, i am not very flexible about it, and you know, i don't need to be nor do i plan to change just because your posts get more and more insulting and attacking towards me.

Seriously Awareness, your focus on me is disturbing.  Wipe the spittal from your lip and move on.  I have been posting as i have here for a long time.  I will continue to post what i know.  If you don't LIKE what i post, simply don't read it.  It's really that simple.

Good luck awareness,

angel


_____________________________


What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.
R.W. Emerson


(in reply to Awareness)
Profile   Post #: 133
RE: Another thread about control.. and anyone can reply! - 12/17/2010 2:42:34 PM   
Awareness


Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline 		  *grin*  Yes angel, you lie.  One has only to go back and read the posts in this thread.   Then again, you don't seem to understand the very concept of discussion, argument or reason.  You can post what you like about your 'experience', but I'm free to say I think your concept of absolute M/s doesn't exist.  Since I did so, you've been acting like a monkey chained to the dead corpse of your memories, staring with wild bloodshot eyes at anyone who broaches the topic and screaming "It's mastery!  It's mastery" into their faces while you shake the bars of your cage frantically back and forth.

I'm uninterested in your memories angel.  I'm discussing ideas.  Your experience is a set of memories with beliefs around them which you've constructed.  That makes them yours, but it doesn't make them anything other than memories tied to a point of view.  Given that much of what we're discussing centres around psychological belief structures and responses, your particular memories aren't particularly special or insightful.  They're just yours.  And yet, you treat them like hallowed ground - a holy relic of your experience which makes you think your view is somehow more relevant than that of others.  Short answer:  It's not - get over yourself.

quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

Umm Awareness, who's hysterical?  Who's throwing a tanturm?
  You are baby.  Are you done now?  There's a discussion underway which - believe it or not - isn't all about you.

quote:

ORIGINAL: barelynangel

You are the one throwing insults, stamping his foot, demanding i concede to what you are saying about ME.
  Really? Where?  See this is basically what you've done all through the discussion.  Desperately tried mischaracterise the content and tone of my posts in later posts.  It's this which really does make me wonder if you're not quite all there.  People can READ the earlier posts and see that you're talking cross-eyed badger sputum.  The tone and content of our posts is completely different.

Frankly, it all looks like a fear-based response, but with more than a tinge of utter nuttiness thrown in.  I simply don't care about your life angel - post what you like and I'll agree or disagree.  However your memories, experience and views are not sacred ground.  You're clearly not someone capable of discussion because ultimately you revert to "this is my experience and thus, this is how it is - you're not a real slave, so ner!"  - at which point you go back to chewing frantically on your fingernails and pulling out tufts of your own hair.  (See what I did there - it's easy isn't it?  I bet you thought you were special).

I adore the way you're trying to make this all about you.  I'm simply disagreeing with you angel and I also happen to be calling you on your bullshit.  I care not one whit for how long you've been posting or what position you think you occupy in the board hierarchy here.  More evidence of your conceit perhaps, but more amusing than anything else.  It's disagreement in a discussion, which you're unable to handle, so you try and turn this into a persecution of you as an individual.  It's not - I'm disagreeing with your ideas.  Your experience doesn't invalidate what I say.  Either learn to agree to disagree and be content with the idea that not everyone thinks as you do, or learn just to keep silent when someone posts something you disagree with.

In short, you can either discuss things like an adult, keep silent, or stick to your current approach which apparently is to fling the monkey shit of your experience into every discussion and expect people to treat it like gold.  Ultimately it's your choice, but you might want to consider the virtue of alternatives.

(in reply to barelynangel)
Profile   Post #: 134
RE: Another thread about control.. and anyone can reply! - 12/20/2010 5:28:42 PM   
agirl


Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Awareness

quote:

ORIGINAL: agirl

I rarely use the term slave, but to all intents and purposes, it often means the same as *owned* or *property* or *submissive*, when people use it.

Yes, I understand you're not on a crusade , but even though the *selling* scenario simply wouldn't arise, I gave you the real answer as to what would happen BECAUSE I'm nothing like an historical slave.

Human trafficking is not a historical oddity, it's an ever-present reality.  Somewhere, right now, an 8 year old girl is being bought and sold as a slave.  When I see people engaging in discussions where they discuss 'true', 'real' or 'absolute' slavery as kink concepts it boggles my mind that they can do so without a trace of irony.

quote:

The word *slave* was in use in the bdsm M/s D/s world, way before I came along. It's an adopted term. The majority of us KNOW we aren't up for being sold or indeed many things that perhaps an historical slave endured, such as having our children taken from us etc etc.
  If that's the case, then using the words 'owned' or 'property' is stupid.  Either that, or people have to acknowledge that they're role-playing.   Property doesn't have options.  Someone who is owned doesn't have options.  To claim that you're owned but that this ownership has conditions is semantic masturbation.

Role-playing is one thing.  Trying to bring Double-Think into your kink is quite another.

quote:

....It really doesn't bother me in the least whether anyone finds it offensive that the bdsm world has adopted the term to describe an authority/control relationship.
Well, as Westerners, we all do tend to be rather self-absorbed, don't we.



Firstly, an 8yr old is not a consentual anything....whereas I AM. You're referring to unconsentual issues. No-one I know of here is an unconsentual slave, property, owned person....etc. When the subjects of *true, real or absolute* arises here the subject is NOT talking about anything unconsensual.

You may not LIKE the fact that the words, *slave, property, owned* are used in the way they are in other CLEARLY different situations but it's still the case. It's neither stupid nor clever.It is what it is.

As an 8yr old, FORCED into an unconsentual situation, I would NOT be a *consentually owned person*, now, would I? Someone that is owned UNCONSENTUALLY might very well have no options ...... but no-one here is claiming they are unconsentually owned.

Stop comparing consentual situations with unconsentual ones and you might stand a chance of understanding what people are talking about. At the moment all you're doing is comparing two UNalike situations and baulking because the *terms* are being used.

And the fact that it doesn't bother me that certain terms have been adopted has nothing to do with any sensibilities I have regarding unconsentual situations anywhere in the world.


agirl


(in reply to Awareness)
Profile   Post #: 135
RE: Another thread about control.. and anyone can reply! - 12/22/2010 7:46:08 PM   
BeingChewsie


Posts: 1633
Joined: 10/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

For the submissive side... is there any part of your life you have absolute control over and will never relinquish regardless of what type of relationship you enter?


No, but we are a family, we are "all in" here. Master is just as invested in *us* as I am. There is not any part of my life that is not part of his or that is off-limits to him. His authority touches every area of our life. I have discussed in the past that I make very few decisions and the few that I do make are heavily influenced by him or his directives. That includes decisions that involved our son (his step-son) and my career. I can't even imagine him not being involved in the most important parts of my life or the most important decisions that involve his family and property. He would just never stand for that and frankly neither would I.

_____________________________

"In fact, it is my contention that most women are accepting of way less than optimal circumstance constantly, and are lucky to be 'snagged' by the right man, if ever. But it is more by happy accident than by their design. "
~Ron and Hup

(in reply to tazzygirl)
Profile   Post #: 136
Page:   <<   < prev  3 4 5 6 [7]
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Another thread about control.. and anyone can reply! Page: <<   < prev  3 4 5 6 [7]
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094