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RE: Good News/Bad News - 6/8/2006 11:22:41 PM   
Dustyn


Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline 		The bad news is that you seem to be allergic to poultry

The good news is that at least someone is trying to tickle your fancy


_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 381
RE: Good News/Bad News - 6/9/2006 9:25:00 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

The good news is that at least someone is trying to tickle your fancy


The bad news is that they want to do it with a baseball bat.


The good news is that the feathers have stopped appearing in your bed.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Dustyn)
Profile   Post #: 382
RE: Good News/Bad News - 6/10/2006 12:50:12 AM   
Vendaval


Posts: 10297
Joined: 1/15/2005
Status: offline 		The bad news is that the feathers are now everywhere but
in your bed.
 
The good news is that you have a new super-duper vacuum
cleaner to clean up the feathers.
 
Vendaval

quote:

ORIGINAL: Gauge
The good news is that the feathers have stopped appearing in your bed.


_____________________________

"Beware, the woods at night, beware the lunar light.
So in this gray haze we'll be meating again, and on that
great day, I will tease you all the same."
"WOLF MOON", OCTOBER RUST, TYPE O NEGATIVE


http://KinkMeet.co.uk

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 383
RE: Good News/Bad News - 6/10/2006 3:31:00 AM   
LaMalinche


Posts: 2077
Joined: 10/20/2005
Status: offline 		The bad news is that you are out of vaccum cleaner bags.

The good news is that you can afford a cleaning service.



_____________________________

Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...

(in reply to Vendaval)
Profile   Post #: 384
RE: Good News/Bad News - 6/10/2006 4:18:22 AM   
Dustyn


Posts: 1044
Joined: 4/5/2006
Status: offline 		The bad news is that it seems to be composed of the alternates for the East German women's wrestling team.

The good news is they can easily clean under any heavy object that might have dirt under it


_____________________________

Mother is the name for God on the lips and hearts of all children.

Murderer?! Murderer! Let me tell you something about murder. It's fun; it's easy; you gonna learn ALL about it. - Tin Tin

Can you be more amusing?

(in reply to LaMalinche)
Profile   Post #: 385
RE: Good News/Bad News - 6/10/2006 8:18:11 AM   
Petruchio


Posts: 1615
Joined: 2/6/2005
Status: offline
quote:

The good news is they can easily clean under any heavy object that might have dirt under it

The bad news is that while dusting, they shake up the champagne chilling in your fridge.

The good news is that it wasn't real Champagne, only California sparkling wine.

(in reply to Dustyn)
Profile   Post #: 386
RE: Good News/Bad News - 6/10/2006 8:44:12 AM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline 		The bad news is... it's California sparkling wine.
 
The good news is, you've got a bottle of Tanqueray in the cupboard, instead.

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to Petruchio)
Profile   Post #: 387
RE: Good News/Bad News - 6/10/2006 11:08:18 AM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

The good news is, you've got a bottle of Tanqueray in the cupboard, instead.


The bad news is that the cleaning ladies drank it and got soused and are now singing German folk songs while waving feather dusters.

The good news is that you find them a great bunch to party with so you get loaded with them.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 388
RE: Good News/Bad News - 6/10/2006 12:54:53 PM   
submissvelilbrat


Posts: 129
Joined: 6/25/2004
Status: offline 		The bad news is you end up in bed with three of the east german women.
 
The good news is you are able to chew your arm off in the morning before they wake up and start with you again.

_____________________________

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely, in a well-preserved body,
but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, shouting...
HOLY SHIT! WHAT A RIDE!

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 389
RE: Good News/Bad News - 6/10/2006 2:41:09 PM   
Evanesce


Posts: 2325
Joined: 9/14/2005
Status: offline 		The bad news is, you only had one arm to start with.
 
The good news is they've perfected bionics, so you get a new arm - and they throw in the second one for free!

_____________________________

Denise

Give a slave what he truly needs, and he will do what you want.

"There's never a hero in a battle of ego." - Big & Rich


(in reply to submissvelilbrat)
Profile   Post #: 390
RE: Good News/Bad News - 6/10/2006 5:20:28 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

The good news is they've perfected bionics, so you get a new arm - and they throw in the second one for free!


The bad news is that they forgot to tell you that you had bionic arms and you went to swat a fly that landed on your head and you fractured your skull.


The good news is that they can fix that too.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Evanesce)
Profile   Post #: 391
RE: Good News/Bad News - 6/12/2006 9:21:15 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

The good news is that they can fix that too.



The bad news is that this thread is going away. 


The good news is that I have breathed new life into it and it will live on forever in cyberspace!!!!!

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 392
RE: Good News/Bad News - 6/12/2006 9:25:55 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		the bad news it that it will consume all the available air, leaving you breathless.

The good news is that we have all made it another year or more thru life. 

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 393
RE: Good News/Bad News - 6/12/2006 10:19:11 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

The good news is that we have all made it another year or more thru life.


The bad news is it is only one step more toward getting saggy and having bladder issues.


The good news is that you are only as old as you think you are.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to mnottertail)
Profile   Post #: 394
RE: Good News/Bad News - 6/12/2006 11:19:09 PM   
CERCKL


Posts: 1039
Joined: 3/4/2006
Status: offline 		The bad news is that you are in a coma and not really thinking.
The good news is that it doesn't really seem to matter.

C

_____________________________

AND I AM TOO AN ASSHOLE, I HAVE REFERENCES!!!

"Please, please, please believe me, I really am an asshole. All that Enlightenment and Higher Learning shit was all a ruse."

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 395
RE: Good News/Bad News - 6/13/2006 1:44:56 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

The good news is that it doesn't really seem to matter.


The bad news is that at night, whilst you lay in bed helpless... an orderly who is well endowed has his way with your body.

The good news is that you have no idea, but you keep having dreams of taking one of the largest shits in your life.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to CERCKL)
Profile   Post #: 396
RE: Good News/Bad News - 6/13/2006 2:24:05 PM   
HouseofBear


Posts: 1280
Joined: 2/9/2005
Status: offline 		The bad news is that you wake up in a bed full of poo.

The good news is that you are now awake and the doctor has offered to throw in a face and body lift.

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 397
RE: Good News/Bad News - 6/13/2006 3:41:50 PM   
Gauge


Posts: 5689
Joined: 6/17/2005
Status: offline
quote:

The good news is that you are now awake and the doctor has offered to throw in a face and body lift.


The bad news is that he gives you the face of Rush Limbaugh and the body of Pee Wee Herman.

The good news is that at least you don't talk like Pee Wee.

_____________________________

"For there is no folly of the beast of the earth which is not infinitely outdone by the madness of men." Herman Melville - Moby Dick

I'm wearing my chicken suit and humming La Marseillaise.

(in reply to HouseofBear)
Profile   Post #: 398
RE: Good News/Bad News - 6/13/2006 4:59:11 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		The bad news is you talk like Donald Duck instead.

The good news is you now have a new career with Disney

_____________________________

I'm confused.... No wait!!! Maybe I'm not

It's not a blonde moment! It's momentary peroxide posioning. ;)

Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to Gauge)
Profile   Post #: 399
RE: Good News/Bad News - 6/13/2006 5:08:23 PM   
crouchingtigress


Posts: 4387
Joined: 3/19/2006
From: Maui
Status: offline 		The bad news is jimminy cricket is stalking you
 
the good news is at least he is wearing trousers.

(in reply to akisha)
Profile   Post #: 400
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