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Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/12/2010 9:23:56 AM

SeeksSadisticTop

Posts: 9
Joined: 10/27/2007
Status: offline

i see this on so many Femdom profiles and i have to wonder about it. How could i possibly want to serve you when i don't even know you? Yes, your pictures may be gorgeous, and in a lot of cases, i'm fairly confident that they are actually YOUR pictures. Your likes and dislikes lists might be very compatible with mine. What you say about yourself may be very intriguing, although i have learned over the years that how a person perceives herself is often not very closely related to how others, and how i, perceive her.

But, unless what you write about yourself is accurate and about as long as "War and Peace," i certainly cannot get to know you well enough from it to know that i want to serve you. At best, from your profile, i might want to get to know you, might want to meet you, but want to serve you? That's kind of putting the cart before the horse, isn't it?

Post #: 1

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/12/2010 9:29:10 AM

DarkSteven

Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline

Okay. Drop the word "Me". Then it's just "Tell Me why you want to serve".

That's a very valid question that I ask of submissive women - what is the driver to serve? Is it pleasing another, giving over control, being the center of attention is a session, or simply a desire to get spanked?

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to SeeksSadisticTop)

Post #: 2

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/12/2010 9:41:45 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

At best, from your profile, i might want to get to know you, might want to meet you, but want to serve you?

So if you aren't sure if you would like to serve, why should she take out time to actually meet you in the 1st place, especially when there might be guys who give her eloquent answers?

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to SeeksSadisticTop)

Post #: 3

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/12/2010 9:56:13 AM

SeeksSadisticTop

Posts: 9
Joined: 10/27/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

quote:

At best, from your profile, i might want to get to know you, might want to meet you, but want to serve you?

So if you aren't sure if you would like to serve, why should she take out time to actually meet you in the 1st place, especially when there might be guys who give her eloquent answers?

i didn't say anything about being unsure about wanting to serve. So many of the profiles i was talking about want to know why i want to serve the writer of the profile specifically. i cannot possibly know that i want to serve a specific person without knowing her first.

Yes, i'm sure there are many guys who can answer quite eloquently. Horny men can be extremely eloquent. i submit, however, that almost any man you have never met who writes you a very eloquent letter about how and why he wants to devote his life to serving YOU, is composing his letter in the little head between his legs, not the big one between his shoulders.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 4

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/12/2010 10:13:40 AM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

Yes, i'm sure there are many guys who can answer quite eloquently. Horny men can be extremely eloquent. i submit, however, that almost any man you have never met who writes you a very eloquent letter about how and why he wants to devote his life to serving YOU, is composing his letter in the little head between his legs, not the big one between his shoulders.

1. I am not looking for somebody to serve me because it's not what I'm into

2. Maybe that's the test to get the guys out of the picture who think with the wrong head

The answer is actually quite easy if somebody is not thinking with the wrong head, you look at her profile and tell her what attracted you to her, which phrases, which of her fave activities are compatible with her, and then you could actually also add a few nice words like that you are also attracted to her looks, her words, blah blah...

Was that really so difficult?

Now I looked at your profile, I got bored with the complains and what is horrible, you wasted tons of keystrokes to complain, a lot of people look at profiles before replying...

And since you don't want to tell the woman why you are attracted to her (aka serve her) and what that means to you, you best move on to the thousands of others who don't have those requirements, are local to you and whatever else you listed in your profile she must have. I'm sure you will have your pick of the litter.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to SeeksSadisticTop)

Post #: 5

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/12/2010 10:14:32 AM

DMFParadox

Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline

Eloquence is far less valuable than practicality and effectiveness. In fact, it could be said that eloquence only has value when it's practical.

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 6

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/12/2010 10:16:32 AM

DMFParadox

Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

LadyConstanze
The answer is actually quite easy if somebody is not thinking with the wrong head, you look at her profile and tell her what attracted you to her, which phrases, which of her fave activities are compatible with her, and then you could actually also add a few nice words like that you are also attracted to her looks, her words, blah blah...

Was that really so difficult?

The first time? no. The 40th time? Very much, yes.

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to DMFParadox)

Post #: 7

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/12/2010 10:25:34 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

What you're asking here is kind of the point for some of us. For Me, the deal behind it is, I don't want folks who don't know Me rushing in and saying they want to serve Me. The deal is, they have no clue about Me and I don't care for the 'any Domme will do' approach.

With that said, some have been able to answer this question in My case. Sometimes, they will be very specific about being interested in a high protocol/leather dynamic or once in a while, people will even be familiar with Me by reputation. It's still in the area of where they have to get to know Me as a person, but at least they can tell Me what sparked their interest.

Edited to add a curiosity. What happened to your other screen name?

< Message edited by LadyPact -- 12/12/2010 10:27:01 AM >

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 8

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/12/2010 10:45:16 AM

SeeksSadisticTop

Posts: 9
Joined: 10/27/2007
Status: offline

LadyPact, the profile for my previous screen-name, HarryVanWinkle, was one of those screwed up ones that wouldn't open. i suspect it was because i wrote the profile in a document and copied and pasted it to CM. i got tired of unsuccessfully trying to fix it, so deleted it and went to this one. i should have waited and used the screen-name i use on FL, "TheWiseOldFool."

Oh well.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 9

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/12/2010 10:46:34 AM

SeeksSadisticTop

Posts: 9
Joined: 10/27/2007
Status: offline

And i might do that soon if it doesn't change that avatar. That picture was never meant to be my main avatar.

(in reply to SeeksSadisticTop)

Post #: 10

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/12/2010 11:46:43 AM

chiaThePet

Posts: 2694
Joined: 2/4/2007
Status: offline

I'll take "What is the graveyard shift at IHOP"? for a thousand Alex.

chia* (the pet)

_____________________________

Love is a many splendid sting.

You can stick me in the corner, but I'll probably just end up coloring on the walls.

(in reply to SeeksSadisticTop)

Post #: 11

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/12/2010 1:55:50 PM

CynthiaWVirginia

Posts: 1915
Joined: 2/28/2010
From: West Virginia, USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SeeksSadisticTop

i cannot possibly know that i want to serve a specific person without knowing her first.

This looks like the answer you should give then, and if you wish, you can also reprase the question and answer the way DarkSteven suggested...as how you wish to serve someone...when you find the right person. Your profile seemed pretty straightforward to me, after I got past that huge bold print at the beginning, lol.

Many people who use the personal ads area and chatrooms never make their way to the message boards, or if they do they arrive only after being here a few years. What bothers you about many Domme profiles you've read might not have anything to do with ads from those of us who post in the message boards.

quote:

Horny men can be extremely eloquent. i submit, however, that almost any man you have never met who writes you a very eloquent letter about how and why he wants to devote his life to serving YOU, is composing his letter in the little head between his legs, not the big one between his shoulders.

I could complain about all the men who write to me and offer services like oral sex...before even a first meetup, but yes, you are right. If someone who has never met me is offering to be caged in my basement and has some huge fantasy about "serving me", it feels...so impersonal. (I almost want to tell them where the story writing area is in the message boards.)

quote:

That's kind of putting the cart before the horse, isn't it?

Yes, it can be. I talk with someone about it first, and if they cannot hear what I am saying or if they disagree, I put it down to incompatibility and wish them good luck in their search.

(in reply to SeeksSadisticTop)

Post #: 12

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/12/2010 3:58:28 PM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

Dear Lady Pact,
I've been on CM for a bit, and have been fortunate enough to read your wise (and often fun) responses. I've been really impressed with how level headed you are and how much integrity you show in your answers. If ever I'm in California, I hope we would have an opportunity to meet and see if we might be compatible for conversation, friendship, and laughter together. One never knows with chemistry, but certainly one can hope!

Thank you for all that wonderful you-ness!

Best,
sunshine

How's that?

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to CynthiaWVirginia)

Post #: 13

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/12/2010 4:25:00 PM

MsLadySue

Posts: 2254
Joined: 12/18/2004
Status: offline

I agree with LadyConstanze about your profile. I took a look and didn't get past the large red print. I would not waste my time searching for information about a sub. Once I see the bs at the beginning I know there is absolutely no interest, even if he were local.

_____________________________

In order for you to insult me, I would first have to value your opinion.
I love it when someone insults me. That means I don't have to be nice anymore.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 14

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/12/2010 4:53:33 PM

SeeksSadisticTop

Posts: 9
Joined: 10/27/2007
Status: offline

Apparently the "'Sidney University Disclaimer" has become so widespread that nobody even reads them anymore, otherwise someone might have noticed that my version is just a wee bit different.

(in reply to MsLadySue)

Post #: 15

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/12/2010 5:00:14 PM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline

Eh, sorry, not different enough to actually be funny. Even knowing in advance that it was different and so actually reading it, it was still a massive disincentive to read the rest of the profile.

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.

(in reply to SeeksSadisticTop)

Post #: 16

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/12/2010 5:29:52 PM

PeonForHer

Posts: 19612
Joined: 9/27/2008
Status: offline

'Tell Me why you want to serve Me' - written in precisely that way (and not, for instance, in Stephen's way which, for me, gives a completely different feel to the sentence) . . . . Hmmm. I'd think 'bait and switch' - a way to get you to write at length about your fantasies so that you're all hot under the collar and nicely primed.

Nup. I'd avoid, especially if the accompanying profile-text and pics are predominately sexual.

_____________________________

http://www.domme-chronicles.com

(in reply to SeeksSadisticTop)

Post #: 17

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/12/2010 7:13:53 PM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Dear Lady Pact,
I've been on CM for a bit, and have been fortunate enough to read your wise (and often fun) responses. I've been really impressed with how level headed you are and how much integrity you show in your answers. If ever I'm in California, I hope we would have an opportunity to meet and see if we might be compatible for conversation, friendship, and laughter together. One never knows with chemistry, but certainly one can hope!

Thank you for all that wonderful you-ness!

Best,
sunshine

How's that?

Actually, sunshine, that's pretty good. Even though there were no specific details provided (as in why someone would want to serve Me) it's still a very pleasant note and absolutely the type of thing that I would reply. I enjoy meeting people and most folks around the boards know that.

Of course, you're already on My 'want to meet someday' list.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 18

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/12/2010 7:41:55 PM

LadyNTrainer

Posts: 1584
Joined: 5/20/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SeeksSadisticTop
i see this on so many Femdom profiles and i have to wonder about it.

It would probably be in response to the deluge of mail any femdom profile is likely to get that essentially says, "I want to serve you." That is, if you use the term "serve" to mean "I want you to do me up the butt, let me give you oral sex, dress me in women's clothes and "force" me to masturbate for you". Which a sad number of them do. In short, we're getting innundated with emails asking to "serve", except that what they actually mean bears no resemblance to service.

quote:

How could i possibly want to serve you when i don't even know you?

You can't, and thank goodness for your healthy and realistic attitude. It's a refreshing change from what most of us get in our inboxes regularly.

quote:

At best, from your profile, i might want to get to know you, might want to meet you, but want to serve you? That's kind of putting the cart before the horse, isn't it?

Yep, but you'd be surprised at how many folks do just that. I can tell you that when someone emails me telling me that he wants to be chained in my basement without escape for the rest of his life, or to serve me as a "total slave", and he doesn't even know me, I am never, ever going to be willing to meet that person. Even assuming he'd show up, which most likely he never would, the idea that someone could be this stupid and this indiscriminate is not attractive. But if someone emails me on my social profile (not on my professional one, please) and asks to get to know me based on what he's read and the common interests we have, that will get a much more positive response because it's clear he has his head well grounded in reality.

< Message edited by LadyNTrainer -- 12/12/2010 7:42:19 PM >

_____________________________

Your dominant Personal Trainer for fitness and body shaping in the lifestyle. Let my fetish be your motivation.

(in reply to SeeksSadisticTop)

Post #: 19

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/12/2010 7:43:03 PM

CerVeza

Posts: 156
Joined: 10/13/2010
Status: offline

If I were Me, I would love to serve Me. Thus, I do. Ladies and Gentlemen... THE BEATLES!

(in reply to LadyNTrainer)

Post #: 20

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