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ORIGINAL: missfrillypants

In This Thread:
Ladies who've never been to 4chan get trolled by a guy who acts like he comes straight from /r9k/.

Plenty of women know that men get the societal short end of the stick having to pursue males. Women got the short end that means they have to get pursued by creepy men who've lost all sense of reason because it's been too long since they have had sex. Just like you get frustrated by getting rejected a lot, we get frustrated by getting creepered a lot. It sucks on both sides, believe me. Seeking any type of relationship is hard work. If you don't want to do it anymore, that's fine. But both women and men need to bitch about how hard it is from time to time. The important thing men seem to forget more than women....

It's not women's fault that you can't get what you want. It happens to even people who didn't do anything wrong from time to time. And men who blame women for their ill luck with women or poor technique... Are even less likely to get what they want from women.

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ORIGINAL: OttersSwim
Guys are not good at not having answers and may try to "gut it out" and a timeframe for answer would remove that pressure and give them time to actually think on the matter.

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ORIGINAL: DMFParadox
This. Though...

/r9k/?? It's /b/tard all the way.

It does suck on both sides, that's what I've been saying. But commentary like that of the posts I've been disputing does nothing to help that. Just as I tell dudes who are complaining to get off the boards and go meet people, because they have a better option, so too do I tell women to learn how to appreciate the difficulty of approaching online and recalibrate their conversational approach, because it's a far better option.

As far as writing better initial letters, I've said in the past that inflammatory emails tend to get a better response from this site, in some instances, which is why a lot of men write them. In that same thread I also said that it didn't set things right for a long term relationship so don't bother, even if the short term gain is increased. Those statements, from a completely different thread, got dragged into this one and mangled to shit. Which makes it not worth bothering to be nice to the posters in question, most of whom are coincidentally female, which then made it a battle of the sexes when it wasn't originally intended to be one. Just a battle against fools.

I blame the environment for poor luck. A relatively small sample of active participants, scattered across the globe, vastly outweighed by dabblers, scammers and inactive accounts; most men don't stand a chance at getting what they're looking for, and are better off elsewhere. Women who have full inboxes every time they log on have a different strategy, and frankly, though it may suck there's a way to make it not suck, which is what I'm pointing out: actively search for the good elements, encourage them, talk about them, and ignore the nonsense, because there's so much nonsense it's just pointless.

I don't blame women for men's poor success. I only blame women for not dealing with their problems differently, instead of the insanity of trying the same approach over and over with increasing frustration.

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bending over to kiss somebody's ass for their frustrations.  Frankly, when somebody sends Me an initial contact that's screwed up, I tell them so before employing the method that I describe above.

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Exactly how are you seeing that people who you have blocked are making entries on this thread?  It was My understanding that, when someone was blocked, you don't see them.

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Yet, you mentioned that you have Lockit hidden from view, but you knew she posted, even though none of her comments were quoted and not a single entry reads as "in reply to" with her name on it. I'd love to hear how that works.

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ORIGINAL: DMFParadox
There's a difference between kissing ass and finding 'screwed up' where there is none. "When enough people tell them, they'll learn" - sure, but the signals are mixed. There can be no learning with that. I'm seeing situations where the only way to win is simply not to play, because everything a letter sender writes can be screwed up. A quick hello is too substanceless; a long letter like the one Otter posted is tl,dr; jokes are misinterpreted or insulting, lack of joking is bland, nice letters are too nice and mean letters are too mean. If you focus on the wrong, no matter what, you'll find some.

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I still see their names, unfortunately, and the time/context tells me enough about their post to draw a few conclusions.

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If you're suggesting that there is no classification for screwed up, I'll be happy to forward you some emails.

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ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

LadyPact, when I have someone hidden, they still have a truncated post window, that says that they are hidden, so it's a kind of placeholder.

Ya troll feeder!

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When people hit their heads against a wall trying to drive a nail, rather than use the tools at their disposal, I'm going to tell them it's their own darn fault that they have a headache.

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d.

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ORIGINAL: MsMillgrove

For some men, answering the question, "why do you want to serve?" does depend on the Lady... and i agree with the OP's basic thought on it That for some men, the Lady makes the difference, between wanting to serve or not.

I base this on three years of consistently meeting males from CM (I can do this because I live in a major metropolitan area where the pool of submissive males is very big--an ocean I guess. lol This obviously isn't possible in a small MIdwest town)

There are males I would enjoy having serve me, and others I wouldn't. So the question of "why"--I never bother to ask it. I am assuming that if we click together, he will enjoy serving me, I will like his service. It's not that complicated.

What I like about having an initial contact through CM is the knowledge that the person really is looking. I never would have known this if I'd bumped into them at local events. I've said this before--but I've been at the same events with people I didn't even notice were there--and only discover they would be open to an advance because I met them on this site. It is good to get out and be seen locally, because you make friends. You can join a networking site different from CM that allows others to confirm that you show up, volunteer to help now and then. It's a way to confirm that others care about you, that you are a reasonably sane, dependable person. That's handy. A good reputation.

Letters from CM males: the best ones often have come from those who are excellent communicators and sometimes incredible Bullshitters. Of the highest calibre .. in other words fantasy types who write about themselves in one way, but in the action--in the real life, they are describing only someone they Wish they could be, not who they really are. Usually, you never will meet them, they are behind the screen and they end up staying behind the screen. Even people who have posted here in "Ask a Mistress" as though they have long experience, good insight--and they sound excellent.. ON PAPER--they have never actually met a soul who is kinky. I know this for a fact, firsthand.

There's simply no way to use a written mail as a concrete assesment tool regarding someone's true intention and real time behavior. When you meet in person, yes, then you start to know them, til then--it's just black spots on a white screen.

(written in reply to the OP and general thread, not to the person above-LadyPact I have given up on learning howto doing the "reply" properly. lol)