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RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/14/2010 5:26:08 PM

DMFParadox

Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
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I just thought of a better way to express this. One that some women may understand and appreciate.

Positivity is like 'whitelisting'. There are two basic ways to filter information: 'blacklisting', or allowing everything except the traits you don't want; and whitelisting, which is denying all but the traits you do want.

What I see women doing is more like whitelisting, and then instead of writing a white list, they write a black one. So they end up blocking everything twice. And bitching and moaning because they can't find what they're looking for. How could you possibly imagine you'll find dry ground somewhere when you're busy pissing all over it? It just doesn't work.

Determine the traits you like and search for them. Spend mental energy on more fully engaging the positive traits. Imagine them. Describe them. Joke about them. And ignore the negative traits; because you're positive, and that fucking works better. Don't get upset over them, don't even notice them; just refine your whitelist and take a pass when 'good' traits are absent, but spend no more energy than that on it. Don't put a 'black' list over top a 'deny all except' programmatic stricture, it's just begging for execution failures.

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 41

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/14/2010 5:34:35 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
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Errr, sorry, but certain traits are a no go area for me, deal breakers, can't ignore them... Certain things are a must have, if they don't have them also a no go...

And hey, who moans? Most of us are quite happy to wait until we find what we want, we are not too hormone driven, we can afford to sit back, relax, not search desperately (and desperation reeks worse than dime store perfume), maybe that's why we have a higher success rate than some males?

We have standards and there's nothing wrong with that...

And we don't moan about not having the right one, we moan about being approached by guys who are wrong and think only with the little head!

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to DMFParadox)

Post #: 42

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/14/2010 5:37:04 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

It's more laughing than moaning, on my part. Some days the laughter is incredulous, others it's contemptuous!

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 43

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/14/2010 5:41:02 PM

DMFParadox

Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
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No, that's not why you have a higher success rate than some males. Wow, oblivious much?

I dare you - I fucking dare you - to create a male dominant profile and compare inboxes. Hell, make him rich, sexy, everything you'd want in a man, and compare 'cold' messages and return rates. Fucking do it, get 1 - just 1 - more emails a month than your female dominant profile of equal social value, then tell me it's not the fact that you're female, it's just that you're not 'desperate'.

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 44

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/14/2010 5:42:54 PM

DMFParadox

Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline

For extra credit, send out some nice emails of your own from that male profile and see how much nothing you get.

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to DMFParadox)

Post #: 45

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/14/2010 5:48:58 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Now THAT was a toplevel whine !! Watch me not care.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to DMFParadox)

Post #: 46

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/14/2010 5:50:38 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

No, that's not why you have a higher success rate than some males. Wow, oblivious much?

I dare you - I fucking dare you - to create a male dominant profile and compare inboxes. Hell, make him rich, sexy, everything you'd want in a man, and compare 'cold' messages and return rates. Fucking do it, get 1 - just 1 - more emails a month than your female dominant profile of equal social value, then tell me it's not the fact that you're female, it's just that you're not 'desperate'.

Why would I want to pretend to be somebody I am not? Especially when that is my own worst grievance here with the mails?

So is that why you are in such a tiff? You send a lot of emails you call "nice" to subbies and they all didn't reply?

I just got off the phone with somebody who wrote me a nice email, we emailed back and forth and we might go to a BDSM party together... He's a guy, he got a reply - your point is?

Unless I get an email saying "Hey you" and nothing else or the usual copy and paste thing, I will reply, even if I am just saying I am not interested or that we don't mesh.

If you're not getting any replies, well, might be your profile, your Cmails.... Tell you what, you could always head over to ask a submissive and ask them which mails they would like, take notes and all that, or would that be undomly?

ETA: There's also always the possibility of a sex change, you might miss an inch or two but you could get some nookie then...

< Message edited by LadyConstanze -- 12/14/2010 5:53:37 PM >

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to DMFParadox)

Post #: 47

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/14/2010 5:56:08 PM

DMFParadox

Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline

Stop moaning about approaches, period. It's fucking annoying. Either go and GET the men you want or STFU and play the game. You have a choice; if men want to be anything other than single, we generally don't have a choice but to play. And this shit is not only patronizing towards men, it's self-destructive patronizing. Y'all do yourselves a disservice here, too.

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 48

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/14/2010 5:59:53 PM

DMFParadox

Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
If you're not getting any replies, well, might be your profile, your Cmails.... Tell you what, you could always head over to ask a submissive and ask them which mails they would like, take notes and all that, or would that be undomly?

No, simply ignored. At least, the email version of same; on the boards, there are almost no people here whose opinion I respect, because their theories don't test out but they still maintain them because they sound nice.

For email, out of maybe 10-15 or so such 'just curious, need an opinion - what kind of mail do you respond to' messages I sent, I got 0% response. The highest response rates I got were from insulting 'push you on the playground' type messages while maintaining a very over-the-top egotistical profile. But I simply got bored with it.

Now, stop acting like you know anything about it. You don't. Hold your nose and try the male dom profile idea, you might learn something.

Edited to be slightly less antagonistic.

< Message edited by DMFParadox -- 12/14/2010 6:04:04 PM >

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 49

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/14/2010 6:03:46 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

Stop moaning about approaches, period. It's fucking annoying. Either go and GET the men you want or STFU and play the game. You have a choice; if men want to be anything other than single, we generally don't have a choice but to play. And this shit is not only patronizing towards men, it's self-destructive patronizing. Y'all do yourselves a disservice here, too.

Stop reading it if it pisses you off....

Perved your profile, you claim to be a practising Buddhist, well, you don't seem to be too content...

LC who reserves her right to moan though takes care not to moan as much as paradox Buddhists

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to DMFParadox)

Post #: 50

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/14/2010 6:04:05 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

Will someone tell me why DMF is even posting here? I am not saying he is "unwelcome", I'm just curious, since he obviously doesn't enjoy it here.

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to DMFParadox)

Post #: 51

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/14/2010 6:05:47 PM

DMFParadox

Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline

Practicing, yes. Perfect, hell no. Besides, I find conversations like these cathartic, and I genuinely believe that I'm being far more helpful than harmful, so it's in the strictures. I had a sensei tell me to shoot a dog to save a child the other day; same principle.

Edit: not in reply to ladyh. She's blocked, for reasons I forget but probably good ones.

< Message edited by DMFParadox -- 12/14/2010 6:07:23 PM >

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 52

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/14/2010 6:07:52 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: DMFParadox

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
If you're not getting any replies, well, might be your profile, your Cmails.... Tell you what, you could always head over to ask a submissive and ask them which mails they would like, take notes and all that, or would that be undomly?

No, simply ignored. At least, the email version of same; on the boards, there are almost no people here whose opinion I respect, because their theories don't test out but they still maintain them because they sound nice.

For email, out of maybe 10-15 or so such 'just curious, need an opinion - what kind of mail do you respond to' messages I sent, I got 0% response. The highest response rates I got were from insulting 'push you on the playground' type messages while maintaining a very over-the-top egotistical profile. But I simply got bored with it.

Now, stop acting like you know anything about it. You don't. Hold your nose and try the male dom profile idea, you might learn something.

Edited to be slightly less antagonistic.

Oh ffs, now stop acting like a child who doesn't get his cookies.

Why are you on the Ask A Mistress thread to complain what we talk about and to cry that you are a guy, boohoohoo (though personally I don't find your whine very manly) - hey go and have that fucking sex change, get laid and STFU...

You know if some things always happen to you, it might not be the women, it might be YOU!

Now say OHHHHM and try to at least pretend that you are what you claim in your profile - a practising Buddhist...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to DMFParadox)

Post #: 53

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/14/2010 6:09:53 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyHibiscus

Will someone tell me why DMF is even posting here? I am not saying he is "unwelcome", I'm just curious, since he obviously doesn't enjoy it here.

I can't figure that out myself, maybe somebody has broken his plastic Buddah?

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to LadyHibiscus)

Post #: 54

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/14/2010 6:10:05 PM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

I just got off the phone with somebody who wrote me a nice email, we emailed back and forth and we might go to a BDSM party together... He's a guy, he got a reply - your point is?

That's the thing; when I was looking I replied to men, ergo I know for absolute certain that there are men who get replies. So why is the man with the admitted 0% response rate telling other people with the same certainty that they don't know anything?

Oh, and for reference, DMF:

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3050286/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#3050286

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 55

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/14/2010 6:12:29 PM

DMFParadox

Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline

Might be me? I'm guessing you haven't read my other posts here.

I have no difficulty getting laid IRL. What I'm discussing are trends.

And for that matter, if you're going the 'man up and take it' route, then goddamnit man up and take the bullshit approaches. Appreciate them for what they're worth, and stop being such a goddamned waste of sexuality.

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Post #: 56

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/14/2010 6:14:42 PM

LadyHibiscus

Posts: 27124
Joined: 8/15/2005
From: Island Of Misfit Toys
Status: offline

LOL!! I am sure Lady C's other half is thrilled she is wasting her sexuality on him.S

_____________________________

[page 23 girl]

(in reply to DMFParadox)

Post #: 57

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/14/2010 6:15:03 PM

LadyConstanze

Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

I just got off the phone with somebody who wrote me a nice email, we emailed back and forth and we might go to a BDSM party together... He's a guy, he got a reply - your point is?

That's the thing; when I was looking I replied to men, ergo I know for absolute certain that there are men who get replies. So why is the man with the admitted 0% response rate telling other people with the same certainty that they don't know anything?

Oh, and for reference, DMF:

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3050286/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#3050286

I'm not looking.... The guy just was nice, a bit like the experiment described in the thread you posted...

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)

Post #: 58

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/14/2010 6:15:11 PM

DMFParadox

Posts: 1405
Joined: 9/11/2007
Status: offline

Ok, checking out that thread. Looking for references to support her claim; any clue which page that might be on?

_____________________________

bloody hell, get me some aspirin and a whiskey straight

"The role of gender in society is the most complicated thing I’ve ever spent a lot of time learning about, and I’ve spent a lot of time learning about quantum mechanics." - Randall Munroe

(in reply to DMFParadox)

Post #: 59

RE: Tell Me why you want to serve Me. - 12/14/2010 6:15:36 PM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

There are girls under those bridges?

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to DMFParadox)

Post #: 60

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