Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

What do you do when you have a sub or dom thats racist?


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> What do you do when you have a sub or dom thats racist? Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
What do you do when you have a sub or dom thats racist? - 12/14/2010 1:57:16 PM   
SAMHAIN09


Posts: 207
Joined: 11/8/2010
Status: offline 		I'm just wondering I mean think about if it's a sub you can order them to keep there mouth shut maybe even ball gag them around friends but if it's your Dom or Domina what do you do?
Profile   Post #: 1
RE: What do you do when you have a sub or dom thats rac... - 12/14/2010 2:02:38 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline 		That would not be a person I would associate with, much less in such an intimate interaction.  It's really that simple for me.

lovingpet


_____________________________

If you put your head into more, you'd have to put your back into less. ~Me

10 Fluffy pts.


(in reply to SAMHAIN09)
Profile   Post #: 2
RE: What do you do when you have a sub or dom thats rac... - 12/14/2010 2:05:47 PM   
JstAnotherSub


Posts: 6174
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

That would not be a person I would associate with, much less in such an intimate interaction.  It's really that simple for me.

lovingpet



this

_____________________________

yep

(in reply to lovingpet)
Profile   Post #: 3
RE: What do you do when you have a sub or dom thats rac... - 12/14/2010 2:07:55 PM   
SAMHAIN09


Posts: 207
Joined: 11/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

That would not be a person I would associate with, much less in such an intimate interaction.  It's really that simple for me.

lovingpet

What if it's something you find out after being with them for a few years like oh you find a KKK ring in their things or Nazi symbol in their stuff.

(in reply to lovingpet)
Profile   Post #: 4
RE: What do you do when you have a sub or dom thats rac... - 12/14/2010 2:13:13 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SAMHAIN09

I'm just wondering I mean think about if it's a sub you can order them to keep there mouth shut maybe even ball gag them around friends but if it's your Dom or Domina what do you do?



I dump them.

I'd be amazed how they got to the point of being my owner without me noticing. Since it's a huge deal to me, they would have violated my trust and lied to me, hiding something that they would have known is important to me.

What else could they be hiding? I don't really want to find out.


_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to SAMHAIN09)
Profile   Post #: 5
RE: What do you do when you have a sub or dom thats rac... - 12/14/2010 2:13:15 PM   
MaxsGirl


Posts: 355
Joined: 12/2/2010
From: The Arctic Circle
Status: offline 		That would be a deal breaker for me, whether we'd been together for years or not.

_____________________________

Property of rubbrdsir

Collared Fox and
Future Thru-Hiker!

(in reply to SAMHAIN09)
Profile   Post #: 6
RE: What do you do when you have a sub or dom thats rac... - 12/14/2010 2:15:48 PM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet
That would not be a person I would associate with, much less in such an intimate interaction.  It's really that simple for me.
Heh. At first I was going to give my standard answer, "I'd change her world view." But then I read your answer and realized this was more correct.


_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to lovingpet)
Profile   Post #: 7
RE: What do you do when you have a sub or dom thats rac... - 12/14/2010 2:17:35 PM   
angelikaJ


Posts: 8641
Joined: 6/22/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SAMHAIN09

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

That would not be a person I would associate with, much less in such an intimate interaction.  It's really that simple for me.

lovingpet

What if it's something you find out after being with them for a few years like oh you find a KKK ring in their things or Nazi symbol in their stuff.



I would ask them about it.

If it goes against my moral beliefs then I would end the relationship.

However, IF I was with them for a couple of years then I would know by their actions and words if they were racist...and I would have cut ties before this.

Which is why if I found something that seemed contrary to the person that I knew I would ask.

It may be that the stuff I found raises my awareness to something I had discounted before.

Or there might be a legitimate reason for them having the object(s).





_____________________________

The original home of the caffeinated psychotic hair pixies.
(as deemed by He who owns me)

http://www.collarchat.com/m_3234821/tm.htm

30 fluffy points!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mQjuCQd01sg

(in reply to SAMHAIN09)
Profile   Post #: 8
RE: What do you do when you have a sub or dom thats rac... - 12/14/2010 2:17:35 PM   
tiggerspoohbear


Posts: 19141
Joined: 6/27/2010
Status: offline 		It would be an automatic deal breaker for me, no matter how long we'd been together. And if someone is that racist, there's no way they've kept quiet about it, something's been said in passing when out and about, but that's just IMO.

_____________________________

"RABBIT IS GOOD, RABBIT IS WISE".

"I'm a baaa-aaad pussycat".


(in reply to MaxsGirl)
Profile   Post #: 9
RE: What do you do when you have a sub or dom thats rac... - 12/14/2010 2:20:27 PM   
Hillwilliam


Posts: 19394
Joined: 8/27/2008
Status: offline 		Typically, if someone is racist, it is pretty evident. It is also someone that I dont want to hang around with. Peoples is peoples. Don't matter if theyre white, black, brown, green or purple. (OK, maybe green is wierd as long as it isn't St paddy's day.)

Purple you ask? that's just a happy masochist.

(in reply to SAMHAIN09)
Profile   Post #: 10
RE: What do you do when you have a sub or dom thats rac... - 12/14/2010 2:21:12 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SAMHAIN09

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

That would not be a person I would associate with, much less in such an intimate interaction.  It's really that simple for me.

lovingpet

What if it's something you find out after being with them for a few years like oh you find a KKK ring in their things or Nazi symbol in their stuff.



Having the objects wouldn't require them to be racist. Many history buffs, myself included, would like to own pieces of history that are racist in their intent but are still significant as pieces of history.

If they had them as pieces of history, be it national or family history, that's one thing. If they were actually racist... I walk. Probably more pissed about the betrayal of my trust and the lies than the fact that we don't share world views.


_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to SAMHAIN09)
Profile   Post #: 11
RE: What do you do when you have a sub or dom thats rac... - 12/14/2010 2:22:06 PM   
mnottertail


Posts: 60698
Joined: 11/3/2004
Status: offline 		well, if like hands you lemons make lemonade.  If your dom is a racist, do some raceplay.

_____________________________

Have they not divided the prey; to every man a damsel or two? Judges 5:30


(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 12
RE: What do you do when you have a sub or dom thats rac... - 12/14/2010 2:22:24 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

Typically, if someone is racist, it is pretty evident. It is also someone that I dont want to hang around with. Peoples is peoples. Don't matter if theyre white, black, brown, green or purple. (OK, maybe green is wierd as long as it isn't St paddy's day.)

Purple you ask? that's just a happy masochist.


Hey now!!! What's wrong with us green folks?


_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to Hillwilliam)
Profile   Post #: 13
RE: What do you do when you have a sub or dom thats rac... - 12/14/2010 2:27:36 PM   
DarkSteven


Posts: 28072
Joined: 5/2/2008
Status: offline 		Well, damn!  I was wondering why she kept burning crosses on people's yards.  Now I know!

_____________________________

"You women....

The small-breasted ones want larger breasts. The large-breasted ones want smaller ones. The straight-haired ones curl their hair, and the curly-haired ones straighten theirs...

Quit fretting. We men love you."

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 14
RE: What do you do when you have a sub or dom thats rac... - 12/14/2010 2:30:00 PM   
SAMHAIN09


Posts: 207
Joined: 11/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

Typically, if someone is racist, it is pretty evident. It is also someone that I dont want to hang around with. Peoples is peoples. Don't matter if theyre white, black, brown, green or purple. (OK, maybe green is wierd as long as it isn't St paddy's day.)

Purple you ask? that's just a happy masochist.


Hey now!!! What's wrong with us green folks?

Yeah? Also what if they hide it because they are afraid you will leave them?

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 15
RE: What do you do when you have a sub or dom thats rac... - 12/14/2010 2:31:33 PM   
SAMHAIN09


Posts: 207
Joined: 11/8/2010
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DarkSteven

Well, damn!  I was wondering why she kept burning crosses on people's yards.  Now I know!
You to? I thought I was the only man dating a crazy pyro maniac!

(in reply to DarkSteven)
Profile   Post #: 16
RE: What do you do when you have a sub or dom thats rac... - 12/14/2010 2:33:07 PM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SAMHAIN09

Yeah? Also what if they hide it because they are afraid you will leave them?



So fucking what? They lied to me. Repeatedly. Over years.

They deserve being walked out on if they have no respect for my values and what I want in a life partner. I make it very clear that I don't want that sort of thing in my household. So they would have completely disregarded something so important to me, possibly taught my children this - something I'm completely against and would never have children with someone I knew was racist, and disrespected me.

I wouldn't give a flying fuck. They didn't care enough about me not to lie to me about something so important, why the fuck should I care if they did it because they didn't want me to leave them? Their problem now.


_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to SAMHAIN09)
Profile   Post #: 17
RE: What do you do when you have a sub or dom thats rac... - 12/14/2010 2:35:43 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SAMHAIN09

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

That would not be a person I would associate with, much less in such an intimate interaction.  It's really that simple for me.

lovingpet

What if it's something you find out after being with them for a few years like oh you find a KKK ring in their things or Nazi symbol in their stuff.



A few others have gotten to it before I did.  (Darn long, hot shower...)  I have known people personally who carried around such things for reasons other than what you are assuming here.  They were survivors of some kind of hate activity in the past.  Some even had been deeply racist and found their way out.  Keeping those symbols was a way to remember who they were and why they never want to go that road again.  You can't assume.  Finding something like this is an opportunity to get to know someone even better than you already do.  I would think actual racism would be hard to miss in an intimate setting if people have taken their time and not rushed in.  Just another way to look at it.

lovingpet


_____________________________

If you put your head into more, you'd have to put your back into less. ~Me

10 Fluffy pts.


(in reply to SAMHAIN09)
Profile   Post #: 18
RE: What do you do when you have a sub or dom thats rac... - 12/14/2010 2:36:13 PM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SAMHAIN09

quote:

ORIGINAL: lovingpet

That would not be a person I would associate with, much less in such an intimate interaction.  It's really that simple for me.

lovingpet

What if it's something you find out after being with them for a few years like oh you find a KKK ring in their things or Nazi symbol in their stuff.




Not knowing the whole story, it could be props for a role play and they might not be nazis or racists, though I have to admit that I find such role plays also a bit disgusting but that is me, I would talk to them and ask and if they'd happen to be racists, well, we wouldn't be associated any longer.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to SAMHAIN09)
Profile   Post #: 19
RE: What do you do when you have a sub or dom thats rac... - 12/14/2010 2:39:00 PM   
lovingpet


Posts: 4270
Joined: 6/19/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SAMHAIN09

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: Hillwilliam

Typically, if someone is racist, it is pretty evident. It is also someone that I dont want to hang around with. Peoples is peoples. Don't matter if theyre white, black, brown, green or purple. (OK, maybe green is wierd as long as it isn't St paddy's day.)

Purple you ask? that's just a happy masochist.


Hey now!!! What's wrong with us green folks?

Yeah? Also what if they hide it because they are afraid you will leave them?



Something like racism is very pervasive.  I can't be hidden for long, unless of course we cover our eyes, plug our ears, and choose not to acknowledge it's existence.  Someday, though, we will have to deal with it head on.  I have said before and I will say again that there are times when you have to choose which is more important to you.  Your opinions?  Or me?  I am also fully prepared to deal with the outcome.

lovingpet


_____________________________

If you put your head into more, you'd have to put your back into less. ~Me

10 Fluffy pts.


(in reply to SAMHAIN09)
Profile   Post #: 20
Page:   [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> What do you do when you have a sub or dom thats racist? Page: [1] 2 3 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.117