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ORIGINAL: FETtotheLIFE

bashing a brotha for his needs, givin a dictionary definition of service and dumb suggestions of what one woman wants. the artical is crap OP, but thanx for sharing something you thought mighta helped its incouraged

-FET

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ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

I don't think that's what she said, I would translate it as "If you just want to have your kinks serviced and do nothing in return, then don't call it service. And if you think people will line up so you can have your thrills without even making an effort, then you're in for a rude awakening."

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ORIGINAL: Icarys

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ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze

I don't think that's what she said, I would translate it as "If you just want to have your kinks serviced and do nothing in return, then don't call it service. And if you think people will line up so you can have your thrills without even making an effort, then you're in for a rude awakening."

I don't think I've ever met a person that could pull that off nor thought they could.

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ORIGINAL: Icarys

Yeah so..That's role playing..Do they say I won't do what you want? No..They are just trying to convey their desires...I personally think some of you women are hypersensitive.

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There is nothing wrong with conveying desire, but if you try to dress up your desire as a service, it's freaking ridiculous.

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ORIGINAL: Icarys

Yeah so..That's role playing..Do they say I won't do what you want? No..They are just trying to convey their desires...I personally think some of you women are hypersensitive.

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ORIGINAL: Icarys
If that person likes the same things as you..wouldn't that be service then or do they have to do things and look for people they have little compatibility with so they can prove they are in it for the other person.

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This could just be Me, but I don't think it's particularly reasonable to expect that a stranger (definition, a person that you don't know) is going to care about someone's desires. What I'm saying here is, if there is someone that you don't know, do you really have any concern whatsoever as to what their desires are? In My case, I don't think I could care less. That means, at best they are just wasting My personal time.

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Am I the only one who sees the difference between "mutually beneficial arrangement" and service?

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ORIGINAL: Icarys
Turn that around and try and look at it from the other persons side...Not really too appealing for a potential anything. Are you not wasting their time as well with an attitude like that or is it all about you?

If I'm contacting someone I do want to know about them and am concerned at least to a degree with them. All of us are strangers till we get to know each other.

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ORIGINAL: Icarys
On the surface it may seem like they are different and exclusive but they really aren't.

Let me add this because I know how people are..Instead of asking what I mean by the above line we'll just assume one thing or another. Which later on in the forums I could be called a hypocrite if taken the wrong way here now...I say this now not because I care about the negativity that's levied at times but because I on occasion enjoy showing people just how silly their minds can be at times. I know..I'm an arrogant ass in saying all of that to say the below.

On a personal level: I have very strict ideas of what service is but I don't usually express it unless I'm doing so to make a point to someone..sometimes out of sadistic pleasure. I do however know that my way is only good for me and those who are compatible with me..Trying to tell someone they aren't service oriented "to you" may be one thing but trying to tell someone they aren't service oriented "by others standards and yours" is another thing entirely. Yada Yada.

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but somebody doing that smarmy slimy "I just want to be of service, so you can do to me" that's dishonest.

You know, you don't punish a whip loving masochist with a whipping....

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Keep something in mind, Dear.

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I'm not here for a potential anything. My plate is already full. Even if I were here for a potential 'something' other than casual conversation, it wouldn't be so much for discussions on sexual activities with folks that I don't know, nor ever have any intention to meet. I apologize for forgetting where you are located, but do you find yourself terribly concerned with the interests of someone in Egypt, for example?

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ORIGINAL: Icarys

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If what you want is to be sexually topped or to get a specific kind of fetish play, but you aren't willing to do anything for the other person that doesn't involve you getting your kink on, then you should not say you are offering "service". What you're looking for is to be serviced, not to give service, and you need to be straight up honest about that. If you aren't, then people are going to roll their eyeballs at you and say you're full of shit. And they'll be right.

Translation: You don't do service the way I think you should so I and Others "I'm speaking for many here" will roll our eyes and look down upon you... we'd be justified because our definition is the right one.

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Many many people have expressed the right of getting "Theirs" and I believe I've seen you back them up so why down on this fella? Why would anyone roll their eyes and why would you think they were justified?(Rhetorical)

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ORIGINAL: Icarys

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but somebody doing that smarmy slimy "I just want to be of service, so you can do to me" that's dishonest.

You know, you don't punish a whip loving masochist with a whipping....

I agree with your first line but how do you know that's being done unless he actually tells you so..and they don't.

Second line not so much. Depends on the maso because I have experience to the contrary so I know it isn't true. She was emotionally tied to me and the fact that she was punished for what she was made it not so tasty for her because she had disappointed me. I'm sure you can understand how that might be.