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gungadin09 -> RE: Is CM really good for newcomers? (1/8/2011 8:24:44 AM)
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quote:
ORIGINAL: RCdc
I avoided this thread when I read it...mostly because there is no right answer.
Y'all are ga-ga.[:D] I mean that in the nicest way and include myself too.
We all judge each other - deal with it. But don't think that just because you believe you have a right to hammer some new poster because you dont have to be 'nice' and they don't fit your unrealistic expectations on how someone is supposed to post or behave - that they can't be permitted nor expected to hammer back.
Technically, they ARE permitted- it's just that they usually get roasted for it. The same thing happens to everyone here from time to time, but i think the newcomers get hit hardest because they're just not expecting it. They come in thinking everyone's going to be supportive, friendly, and helpful, and they get quite a slap in the face when they find out that's not true. It boils down to everyone having the right to voice their own opinions-and, in fact, everyone DOES have that right. They just don't have the right to have the majority of the forum members (or, in fact, ANY of the forum members) agree with them.
Not everyone is going to read the faqs, nor do they have to. Yanno that whole, I aint your submissive POV that everyone keeps harping on about? Again deal with it! Please - don't say that people have to read a freaking faq just because you(generic) don't have precious time to 'waste'... or somesuch remarks.
I agree that that's just as unrealistic as expecting everyone to be "nice". In all fairness, we ought to have threads roasting people for saying THAT. Unfortunately, things are not always fair.
People ARE clique-y - I don't care what anyone denies. But cliques ROCK. It means you have friends and that you have found people who think you rock. And that witch hunts will happen and DO. And sometimes people who have morphed into so called regulars might argue with you... deal with it.
Ah Mr Merc, you left us all alone and abandoned, but as I have often quoted him in saying... cliques are just a group of friends that aren't your own... it's not automatically a bad thing.
i think of a "clique" as being a group of people that deliberately includes certain people while excluding others. That's not what i see here, not some kind of consorted effort to marginalize people. What i see is human beings acting like human beings. (Or, perhaps a bit worse since this is the internet and they are anonymous.) People paying more attention to what their friends say and less attention to what a comparative stranger says. Which, as much as i may wish things were different, is NOT something that i feel i can realistically change, any more than i can change gravity.
On a side note, in the 'old days'... people were blunt and to the point but the arguements and discussion were very much more, without taking sides. I don't think that the 'meaness' as some people call it has got any worse, but I do see a sheep mentality more in the way that people seem afraid to offend someone who they consider a real friend because they have met them in real life and don't want to upset the possibility of that invite across state or sea which means a free trip. So call me a cynic.[8|][:D]
i think that there's a sort of mob mentality on the forums, which, at times crosses the line into bullying. That's why i find it so refreshing to hear dissenting opinions (even if it's just a troll!). i really respect anyone who's got the guts to voice a different or unpopular opinion, and face the firestorm that comes with it. Sometimes i think that a few more people who didn't agree with what the majority thinks, and were willing to say so, would be just what the doctor ordered.
pam
P.S.- The only reason i've lasted this long on collarme is because i've learned not to take anything that happens here too personally. Which, i take it, is the key to surviving anywhere.
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