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RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 7:53:29 AM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop
I'm stil using a very old version of IE

Then you are the spawn of satan ;)

(in reply to GreedyTop)
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RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 7:53:52 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		this is news?

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to RapierFugue)
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RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 7:54:20 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RapierFugue


quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
That and set up your Internet protection better. How did your 14 year old daughter find your CM account? She shouldn't have been on this site. Perhaps put a password on your computer, delete browser history more often, install some nanny software.

And all decent browsers now have "private" modes (like "InPrivate" for IE), where you can browse without adding to the cache or history.


But you still have to know how to use them and set up, plus be saavy enough to know the difference between a decent browser and a shitty one. While that isn't particularly hard, I know what enough very intelligent people fuck it up to be certain that this could be a simple mistake like a kid find a parent's porn stash or (depending on skill level of said child and what they did) breaking into a locked box to find the floggers.

ETA - It's obviously a problem. I would just rather ID *what* happened and then assist in putting up more preventative measures.


< Message edited by AquaticSub -- 1/10/2011 7:55:19 AM >

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to RapierFugue)
Profile   Post #: 23
RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 7:54:49 AM   
SirsSub63


Posts: 18
Joined: 10/13/2010
Status: offline 		Yes, I set up a separate act for my own personal use. I figured if I did, since its not the norm here, would raise red flags. :( I should have anyway.

(in reply to SirsSub63)
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RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 7:55:26 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		Welcome to the forums.

Without reservation, I'm going to say that I would hate to be in your shoes right now.  The reasons that you and your husband told her were the causes of the two of you getting divorced are probably not looking true to her right now.  Guess who just got the lion's share of the blame for destroying the family in her eyes?   It shouldn't be a surprise to you that she isn't speaking to you.  Thankfully, you'll have some allies in your husband and potentially a counselor that will want to help her in regaining the trust in you that she's obviously lost.  I'd imagine that is going to take a serious time investment because the image that she had of you two days ago is shattered.  You've got a lot of work ahead of you.

A very good thing that your husband knew about the cyber Dom and isn't the type to use it against you when it comes time for custody.  Most judges will ask a dependent who they want to have primary physical custody of them.  If she relates that she has no trust or respect for you after you had a cyber relationship that she wasn't aware of, that might hurt you in the long run.

I'd highly suggest doing whatever it takes to begin the process of repairing your relationship with your daughter.  In fact, I'd go so far as to say that you should specifically seek out a kink friendly therapist for counseling if at all possible.  While the focus of this isn't on BDSM, there's going to be a time where those explanations are going to come into it.

Best of luck to your daughter.  I feel terribly sorry for her.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to GreedyTop)
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RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 7:56:02 AM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyConstanze
Your daughter is 14, you know she possibly just starts exploring her own sexuality and now is confronted with BDSM and her mother being involved in it, let's face it, we all don't want to think about our parents being sexual

On the bright side, it'll probably put the kid off trying any form of sex for decades; anything your parents like is lame and un-cool and to be avoided :)

(in reply to LadyConstanze)
Profile   Post #: 26
RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 7:58:16 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

Sorry, Red, I simply disagree with you. She's new but doesn't particularly strike me as in sub frenzy - I'd expect her to be talking about how much happier she is/will be once owned, etc.

There are tons of ways the kid could have found the site without her being a bad parent. Just depends on how clear the kid is and how little she knows about covering her ass on the computer. Don't ask me how I know.

Obviously there is a problem and the OP needs to step up, be it locking the computer away or simply sitting in the same room as her daughter when she is on the 'net but I really don't feel this warrents such.. intensity.



Ah, well different reactions for different folk. I just saw my 11 year old nieces yesterday and could not imagine them ever having to deal with something like that. And they never will since since their parents have adult protection on the many computers they use.

(in reply to AquaticSub)
Profile   Post #: 27
RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 7:58:34 AM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: GreedyTop
this is news?

Good point, fairly made :)

PS: You say you've still got that cold? :( Get well soon!

(in reply to GreedyTop)
Profile   Post #: 28
RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 7:58:42 AM   
SirsSub63


Posts: 18
Joined: 10/13/2010
Status: offline 		She found sites her Dad went also, but I got the blaim. She didnt like the idea of divorce to begin with so this just adds to it.

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 29
RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 8:00:26 AM   
SirsSub63


Posts: 18
Joined: 10/13/2010
Status: offline 		We come from a conservitive family, therefore this is much more of a shock than the average family, I guess. It's going to hurt for a while. I'm not sure when she will even talk to me again.

(in reply to SirsSub63)
Profile   Post #: 30
RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 8:01:02 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

Ah, well different reactions for different folk. I just saw my 11 year old nieces yesterday and could not imagine them ever having to deal with something like that. And they never will since since their parents have adult protection on the many computers they use.


Sweetie, you have mail because I don't want to piss off the mods.


_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 31
RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 8:01:17 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		With Dad and Mom on various adult sites this sounds like a great situation for kids.

(in reply to SirsSub63)
Profile   Post #: 32
RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 8:02:54 AM   
GreedyTop


Posts: 52100
Joined: 5/2/2007
From: Savannah, GA
Status: offline 		ok, I am outa this (I think). but there is way too much going on for me to be reasonable///

_____________________________

polysnortatious
Supreme Goddess of Snark
CHARTER MEMBER: Lance's Fag Hags!
Waiting for my madman in a Blue Box.

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 33
RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 8:02:56 AM   
Jeffff


Posts: 12600
Joined: 7/7/2007
Status: offline 		You realize you are asking a bunch of internet whack jobs for advice in a very serious personal issue?


Just off the top of my head, I wouldn't recommend that.



_____________________________

"If you don't live it, it won't come out your horn." Charlie Parker

(in reply to SirsSub63)
Profile   Post #: 34
RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 8:03:51 AM   
SirsSub63


Posts: 18
Joined: 10/13/2010
Status: offline 		You know I feel bad enough for ruining my daughters life. I guess I should have stayed away from here since some are not understanding. :( I can here for advise not more hurt.

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 35
RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 8:05:02 AM   
RapierFugue


Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1
And they never will since since their parents have adult protection on the many computers they use.

Never say never :)

A mate of mine installed "protection", monitoring and logging software on his kids' laptops ... that worked until they were 13, when the eldest worked out how to crack them. My mate went spare about it, but I pointed out it was bloody impressive, from a technical POV - some of those programmes are apparently a right bugger to crack.

There's no such thing as a secure system. "Cat 10" does not exist IRL.

All one can do is take reasonable precautions, as you're doing, but don't for one second think anything's unbreakable.

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 36
RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 8:05:05 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline 		By the way, anybody who wants to help the resident computer twit (Me) in explaining exactly how a person can access a profile (who doesn't have the password) after logging out of the site, please send Me a note on the other side.  As far as I know, if you actually sign out, the site will come up, but not the actual account.  So, anybody willing to explain exactly how a person can do that, please drop Me a note on the other side.  Thanks.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to SirsSub63)
Profile   Post #: 37
RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 8:06:15 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirsSub63

You know I feel bad enough for ruining my daughters life. I guess I should have stayed away from here since some are not understanding. :( I can here for advise not more hurt.


Oh Jesus Christ.

You didn't ruin her life. Look she isn't going to "catch" the pervert's disease. She's pissed cause her parents are divorcing. It's a hard, scary and upsetting time but that isn't going to ruin her life either. If my Dad actively cheating and then having the partner of the said mistress actually call and *THREATEN* myself and my family didn't ruin my life, her finding out that her Mom had a cyber dom isn't going to ruin hers.

Chill. You are seriously making this into a bigger deal than it is and probably upsetting your daughter more in the process.


_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to SirsSub63)
Profile   Post #: 38
RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 8:07:11 AM   
LadyConstanze


Posts: 9722
Joined: 2/18/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: SirsSub63

You know I feel bad enough for ruining my daughters life. I guess I should have stayed away from here since some are not understanding. :( I can here for advise not more hurt.



A couple of people have told you that you should talk to a professional about it, yes a kink friendly councilor would be best. None of us know you, your family or your daughter, also we can talk until we're blue in the face it's not going to change your situation at home. Talk to a specialist and make your daughter see somebody, that's going to help, asking us for sympathy doesn't change your situation one bit.

_____________________________

There are 10 kinds of people who understand binary
Those who do and those who don't!

http://exdomme.blogspot.com/2012/07/public-service-announcement.html

(in reply to SirsSub63)
Profile   Post #: 39
RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 8:08:44 AM   
AquaticSub


Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

By the way, anybody who wants to help the resident computer twit (Me) in explaining exactly how a person can access a profile (who doesn't have the password) after logging out of the site, please send Me a note on the other side.  As far as I know, if you actually sign out, the site will come up, but not the actual account.  So, anybody willing to explain exactly how a person can do that, please drop Me a note on the other side.  Thanks.


YGM with the only thing I can think of.


_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 40
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