RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing..

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing..

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Casual Banter] >> Off the Grid >> RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing..

Page: << < prev 1 2 [3] 4 5 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 8:08:51 AM

SirsSub63

Posts: 18
Joined: 10/13/2010
Status: offline

Understood, just upsetting time and adding to it, well, doesn't help.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Profile

Post #: 41

RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 8:09:24 AM

RapierFugue

Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
Chill. You are seriously making this into a bigger deal than it is and probably upsetting your daughter more in the process.

*ding* Lady wins a goldfish.

The more of a fuss you make of something, the more "interesting" (or traumatic, if they're looking for an excuse to guilt you) something is to a child, especially an adolescent.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Profile

Post #: 42

RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 8:09:52 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sexyred1

With Dad and Mom on various adult sites this sounds like a great situation for kids.

Damn. If Mom and Dad being on adult sites and a kid accidentally finding *one* means they are bad parents, I'm royally fucked before I have them!

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to sexyred1)

Profile

Post #: 43

RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 8:12:58 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirsSub63

Understood, just upsetting time and adding to it, well, doesn't help.

So pull up your big girl panties and tell folks to bugger off - preferably nicely. Trust me, they are adults and they can handle it. If I were in your shoes, I would be explaining HOW this happened, owning the fact that it shouldn't, NOT bitching how I ruined her life and asking for clear advice on how to lock down your computer so that it doesn't happen again.

Otherwise, my best advice is to seek out a safe space community. CM has a TON of great info. But this is not a safe space so if you can't handle some rough advice on a topic, this isn't the place to post it. Trust me on that one.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to SirsSub63)

Profile

Post #: 44

RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 8:15:33 AM

sexyred1

Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jeffff

You realize you are asking a bunch of internet whack jobs for advice in a very serious personal issue?

Just off the top of my head, I wouldn't recommend that.

Riiiiiiiiiiight...WE are the whack jobs. Ok......

(in reply to Jeffff)

Profile

Post #: 45

RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 8:16:23 AM

SirsSub63

Posts: 18
Joined: 10/13/2010
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirsSub63

Understood, just upsetting time and adding to it, well, doesn't help.

So pull up your big girl panties and tell folks to bugger off - preferably nicely. Trust me, they are adults and they can handle it. If I were in your shoes, I would be explaining HOW this happened, owning the fact that it shouldn't, NOT bitching how I ruined her life and asking for clear advice on how to lock down your computer so that it doesn't happen again.

Otherwise, my best advice is to seek out a safe space community. CM has a TON of great info. But this is not a safe space so if you can't handle some rough advice on a topic, this isn't the place to post it. Trust me on that one.

Thank you. No, it should not have happened, always before I did my job and deleted cookies/browsing history..etc. I just F'ed up once like this. My hubby says he will do his best to talk to her. I now have separate login for myself.

< Message edited by SirsSub63 -- 1/10/2011 8:17:08 AM >

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Profile

Post #: 46

RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 8:17:11 AM

kalikshama

Posts: 14805
Joined: 8/8/2010
Status: offline

Assuming you are not the only one who has this question, I'm answering it here:

1. user did not log out or
2. previously selected "save password" option

Either way, bad idea on a "public" computer.

KK

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

By the way, anybody who wants to help the resident computer twit (Me) in explaining exactly how a person can access a profile (who doesn't have the password) after logging out of the site, please send Me a note on the other side. As far as I know, if you actually sign out, the site will come up, but not the actual account. So, anybody willing to explain exactly how a person can do that, please drop Me a note on the other side. Thanks.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Profile

Post #: 47

RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 8:18:08 AM

SirsSub63

Posts: 18
Joined: 10/13/2010
Status: offline

Never saved password, just somehow it saved it in the history, didnt realize this.

(in reply to kalikshama)

Profile

Post #: 48

RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 8:21:07 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirsSub63

Thank you. No, it should not have happened, always before I did my job and deleted cookies/browsing history..etc. I just F'ed up once like this. My hubby says he will do his best to talk to her. I now have separate login for myself.

Aww shit. That can happen. Check around in your settings to see if you can have it set automatically delete at the end of your browsing session. Also, make sure your login isn't something she can easily guess (ie. no birthdays, family pets, etc). Try something like an ex-boyfriend's name, something from your past that she wouldn't have a clue about.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to SirsSub63)

Profile

Post #: 49

RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 8:25:18 AM

SirsSub63

Posts: 18
Joined: 10/13/2010
Status: offline

Yes, I changed the settings so it deletes when you leave the site. You know what they say about 20/20.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Profile

Post #: 50

RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 8:26:18 AM

RapierFugue

Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: AquaticSub
Aww shit. That can happen. Check around in your settings to see if you can have it set automatically delete at the end of your browsing session. Also, make sure your login isn't something she can easily guess (ie. no birthdays, family pets, etc). Try something like an ex-boyfriend's name, something from your past that she wouldn't have a clue about.

Or use a password manager. Much more secure*.

Like:

http://keepass.info/

*graphics cards on modern PCs are now so powerful (in terms of ability to crunch numbers in the millions of calculations per second bracket) that they can break a 15 character password by brute force inside of a few hours, if you know what you're doing. Less than 10 characters can be done in about half an hour.

(in reply to AquaticSub)

Profile

Post #: 51

RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 8:27:11 AM

AquaticSub

Posts: 14867
Joined: 12/27/2005
Status: offline

What he said.

_____________________________

Without my dominance you cannot submit. Without your submission I cannot dominate. You are my equal in this, though our roles are different.-Val

It was ok for him to beat me but then he tried to cuddle me! - Me

Member:Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair

(in reply to RapierFugue)

Profile

Post #: 52

RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 8:32:27 AM

RapierFugue

Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: SirsSub63
Yes, I changed the settings so it deletes when you leave the site. You know what they say about 20/20.

Also check you haven't got "auto-fill" and/or "Remember passwords" enabled; either will let someone in even if you delete the browser history.

Or simply use "InPrivate" browsing (on IE, but other browsers now have this facility, only I can't recall what they're called on each one).

No passwords, cache entries or history will be stored, regardless of whatever auto-fill software you have accidentally left running.

(in reply to SirsSub63)

Profile

Post #: 53

RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 8:34:16 AM

SirsSub63

Posts: 18
Joined: 10/13/2010
Status: offline

I don't use auto fill. I'm not computer dumb just really messed up yesterday.

(in reply to RapierFugue)

Profile

Post #: 54

RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 8:42:12 AM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

I tend to agree with LadyPact here, SirsSub63. A kink friendly counselor to assist you in this, patience from you and her dad, and time are going to be what she needs to get over her shock.

All kids are devestated when their family takes a hit. Divorce is like a missile. I know because I've been divorced for years, have two kids, and worked in divorce and family law for 11 years. I'm sorry that all of this has ripped the protective shield from her world. The computer stuff can be managed better when you create an account for yourself that is PW protected. Your husband should do the same. Please remember to take extra precautions when you sharing a computer with minors, I'm sure you will from here forward. I wish for healing to your daughter's very delicate emotions.

Now, for those who choose to have decided to take a "superior, judgmental, holier-than-thou, this would NEVER occur in my world, blah, blah, blah..." approach, just Wow. Really? No, no, honestly... really??? I say be super careful when laying out a challenge like that to the world. I cannot imagine being so full of myself that, when someone asks an honest question, puts it out there that they have made a big mistake, wants to make it better or as best they can, that my response would be to kick a face-full of "dirt" at them.

I consider myself fortunate that I know that people are human, humans are fallible, (some) humans have the capacity to extend a hand of forgiveness and help. That doesn't make me "better than" someone else, it just means that I choose not to act like someone I wouldn't respect, if watching me from the outside.

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

(in reply to LadyConstanze)

Profile

Post #: 55

RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 8:46:26 AM

SirsSub63

Posts: 18
Joined: 10/13/2010
Status: offline

Thank you so much, Daddysredhead. I never, ever wanted her to find out this way. It breaks my heart. Do those type of counselor's even exsist? I know since you've posted that they do, but where does one find them?

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

Profile

Post #: 56

RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 8:47:56 AM

RapierFugue

Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead
A kink friendly counselor to assist you in this, patience from you and her dad, and time are going to be what she needs to get over her shock.

Really? Isn't that making a mountain out of a molehill? I would have thought that, compared to the shock of the divorce, this situation would be pretty small spuds. And the more fuss gets made of it, the longer it'll take for the child to get over it. Maybe? I'm suggesting, not telling, BTW.

Are there any situations these days in which people don't immediately reach for a therapist? :) They should be added to the 999/911 menu :)

“Do you require police, fire, ambulance or therapist?”

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

Profile

Post #: 57

RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 8:58:24 AM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

Dear RF,

I said getting a counselor for Mom, not the daughter, but that should be considered if the daughter needs someone "safe" to talk to or vent to. So, no... it isn't making a mountain out of a molehill. I speak from experience, in that (most people who know me from here know this already), my son, when he was 8 years old, (and had other - undiagnosed - emotional issues going on that my ex thought were just "a kid going through his parents' divorce") tried to kill himself. So, no... I don't believe in giving a child "too much" attention when they are hurting.

~ DRH

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

(in reply to RapierFugue)

Profile

Post #: 58

RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 8:59:34 AM

RapierFugue

Posts: 4740
Joined: 3/16/2006
From: London, England
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Daddysredhead
I said getting a counselor for Mom, not the daughter

Ahhhhhh ... with you now, sorry :)

(in reply to Daddysredhead)

Profile

Post #: 59

RE: Hello, new here..question for anyone willing.. - 1/10/2011 9:02:57 AM

Daddysredhead

Posts: 23574
Joined: 11/6/2005
From: Northern (yet still part of the South) Virginia
Status: offline

No problem, RF.

SirsSub63... since your profile is hidden, I don't know where you are from. If you want to PM me or perhaps LadyPact, we can probably set you in the right direction to looking for someone in your area.

_____________________________

Founding Member, Clan of the Scarlet O'Hair-a's

Do not challenge me to a battle of wits & come to fight unarmed.

Are you really that stupid? ~ Bless your heart

13th doughnut

(in reply to RapierFugue)

Profile

Post #: 60