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ORIGINAL: sirsholly

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I do over eat now and then and I binge now and then,  so I am not denying that, It's just rare, and it is something I can and do control, I also don't know jack shit about nutrition an food and how to feed myself properly. I am also lazy and I love my food.

This is probably going to offend you but i am going to say it anyway. If you could control your caloric intake, and only overeat every once in awhile, you would not have such issues with obesity and pre-diabetes. Just because you "binge" on the rare occasion does not mean you are in/have control over your obsession with food. Quite the contrary...i would say that food has control over you.

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but it's not a problem in my mind like I said, unless you do it all the time, or can't control it.

How many alcoholics have used this very premise when confronted with the suggestion of getting help?

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If I need , want, or would benifit from the help of a support group, to teach me about nutrition and how to feed my body the fuel it needs to run efficiently instead of just putting food in my mouth, then I do, and I should seek help for myself, in learning to feed my body in a nutritious manner, putting the fork down" doesn't deal with the issues behind the food misuse and general mistreatment of food / yourself.

And here ya go. Does this not directly contradict your earlier statement where you said you did not really have a problem, and it is something you can control?

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I was actually thinking about weight watchers, not the food part, because I think I'd rather learn to cook and enjoy it, but if they'd teach us about portion size and what a carb is and what a complex card is, and how to structure our meals and plan our meals and stuff like that, and having a support group, and a outlet for learning this stuff in, then they'd be mighty handy.

I think Weight Watchers is a fantastic program. I do not know what you mean by "not the food part" unless you are under the assumption that pre-packaged food is necessary? It is not. It is about education and support.


In whatever direction you choose to go, the bottom line is you are going to have to toss laziness and denial out the window. If you want a program to work, you are going to have to work the program.


~FR~

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ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

If you followed me through my day and my life, you'd see daily, day in and out, I eat very very little, because I am either not hungry or I am litterally starving, but I don't care to get up and fix something because I am to lazy to, or I feel apathy towards the hunger and don't care to address it.

when I do eat it's either all junk, like tv dinners, nutritious but since I am starving an it's the only meal I will be getting that day I stuff myself, or just barely enough so I can have that ok phew I ate sensation an stop "dying" for a meal.

We eat out way more than we need to based on convenience and taste, but I think I could cut that off tomorow, or least reduce it to no more than once a month,  if I wanted to and worked hard on it.

But there's the jist of it, the food is a lure and I am a fish, I don't at the time want to resist the lure of the food bobbing there just in front of me. I want to, and need to , for myself, learn to ignore the lure, of easy tasty food I didn't have to do shit to fix, just walked in an sat down.

When I do cook, I don't know what to pare with what to be nutritious and filling and compliment the other. I will chose something being entirely unaware of it's nutritional value, for fuel the body needs, vs just sticking something in your gut.


Then why am I so fat, eat only once a day if not that somedays? Because I do absolutely nothing. No excercise no cardio no movement to burn what I eat, no nothing. I sit in bed all day and watch tv, or sit on the computer. That is my entire life, except when Daddy and I go to therapy.

I bet, even if I did eat healthy and with proper nutrition in mind I still wouldn't loose weight, I don't think you can loose what you're not burning.

I don't know. I don't have any alcholics in my life, or have any knowledge of statistics of Alchoholics.

Probably a lot.

I do believe, and I could be wrong, weight watchers has two programs, one where you cook all your food at home using points, or one where they supply the food an you pay for it, and it's mirowavable stuff?

I think they have points or non points eating to.

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ORIGINAL: kalikshama

Is there a YMCA near you? They have scholarships.

My Y has a Women on Weights workshop where 6 (small) group sessions with a trainer were really cheap, under $100 IIRC.

YMCA trainers also cost less in general and scholarships may apply to sessions as well.

You can also exercise for free.
- Do you have stairs at home? Go up and down.
- Walk around the mall if your sidewalks are snowed in, but I think you're in San Francisco so that shouldn't be an issue.
- Do what you can and add a little each week.

Then your only investment is a good pair of shoes if you don't already have.

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ORIGINAL: maybemaybenot

To give you an idea of what a healthy diet is and how much food you have to eat to fuel your body correctly:

1Cup V8 or tomato juice

mid morning snack- one lowfat yogurt

Lunch:
.

And you are just going to have to suck it up and get out of bed or off your duff and move your body for an hour or so a day. I think it's very sad that all you do is sit in bed and watch TV or play on the computer all day. Getting out and moving around will not only help your body, but help your mental health. The choices you are making are destructive.

I guess my question to you is :

Are you willing to make radical changes in your life ? Are you going to stick to your plan even if Daddy doesn't participate ? You can't go into this half assed. That's setting yourself up for failure. You and Daddy can't be each others support, because both of you are " broken ". You need outside support. Be that WW or OA. If you are not commited to changing, everything everyone here has said to you is a waste of bandwidth. I'm not trying to be mean, but I see alot of excuses, explanations and justifications for just continuing as you are and looking for a magic trick.

mbmbn

ETA: if you have nothing better to do than sit and lay in bed watching TV and using the computer, then taking a few hours of that day to plan cook your meals isn't a whole lot. And eat at the table, not in bed. Set a pretty table, use dishes, flatware and glassware, not paper plates and utensils. That will cause you to move around a bit. Make meal time enjoyable, not just another thing you do while laying or sitting in bed.

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ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

And I am  aware it's gonna be hard, and I am aware, that I am going to have to prepair my own foods if my moms not on board with cooking things I can and should eat, since she does all the cooking.

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ORIGINAL: Elisabella

To clarify, I wasn't talking about treatment in addition to the 12 steps, but treatment instead of the 12 steps.

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ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

I am going to try, Daddy is on board in theory of helping me but he's a lazy person too, and like his junk more than I do, I think if I sat down and wrote out all the things he likes to eat, like a drum stick ice cream and then a can of coke and all at midnight , you guys woulld be flabberghasted , blown away, and , then probably not surprised.


and he enables to to do poorly for myself, I'm starting to address the food and exercise and apathy towards taking care of myself thing in therapy, And I am  aware it's gonna be hard, and I am aware, that I am going to have to prepair my own foods if my moms not on board with cooking things I can and should eat, since she does all the cooking.


I have already told her, if a meal's not something I should be eating I am going to have to decline eating it, and it's not to be rude, it's because it's stuff I'm not supposed to be having right now. like when she makes heaping plates of spagettie with canned spagettie sauce,  and meat balls drowned in oil with a huge greasy side of home made garlic bread and that's the entire meal. The lady I am working with, doesn't want me having pasta and sugary sauces, nor breads, right now. Eventually I can, and it really should be whole wheat bread and pasta, ezekial bread is a good bread but spensive, but right now, not so much.

And that's gonna be so hard because honestly, I LOVE that all I have to do to eat something tasty is be called to the table and sit down.

The dietician at kiaser for diabeties doesn't want me having juices at all, not even in 1/2 cup servings, because there's way to much sugar even in all natural juice and way to many carbs. I will probably have juice as a very very rare treat, but I cut out any and all fruit juices years ago and was happy not having fruit juices, didn't miss them at all, until I started thinking weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell I can have it now and then and started keeping it around.


I know V8 has tons of sodium in it, and I don't know if the lesser soduim brands are ok or not, but I could always ask and I know it was just an example, not saying I need to drink it or nothing

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ORIGINAL: windchymes

Ditto what NuevaVida said, Weight Watchers has TONS of recipes and cookbooks available. TONS!!! lol They encourage till the cows come home making healthy eating a lifestyle, not thinking of it as "dieting". They show you how you can eat out, party foods, comfort foods, snacks, whatever you want.

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ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

I do believe, and I could be wrong, weight watchers has two programs, one where you cook all your food at home using points, or one where they supply the food an you pay for it, and it's mirowavable stuff?

I think they have points or non points eating to.

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ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom


I know V8 has tons of sodium in it, and I don't know if the lesser soduim brands are ok or not, but I could always ask and I know it was just an example, not saying I need to drink it or nothing.

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How much sodium do your Hot pockets and TV dinners have in them ?
You don't seem to question or have a problem with a nasty, unhealthy food product that is loaded with sodium, yet a healthy drink you have concerns about.
V8 has about 400 mg per cup. That's about 20% of sodium in a typical healthy diet. So, no it is not loaded with sodium if consumed in the right quantity. Besides it is a healthy drink. Sodium is the least of your issue at the moment. Unless I am mistaken and you have cardiac or kidney problems. I am a kidney patient and I am allowed my V8 juice as long as I factor the sodium into my daily intake. My diet is very similar to a diabetic diet.

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ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

I have already told her, if a meal's not something I should be eating I am going to have to decline eating it, and it's not to be rude, it's because it's stuff I'm not supposed to be having right now.

This problem is not your Mothers. It's yours. You need to own it. So what if Mom makes an unhealthy meal ? You can still make a meal of your own. It's not Mom's responsibilty, nor Daddy's nor anyone elses to make you the proper meals and spoon feed you into healthiness. It's your responsibility.

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ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

The lady I am working with, doesn't want me having pasta and sugary sauces, nor breads, right now. Eventually I can, and it really should be whole wheat bread and pasta, ezekial bread is a good bread but spensive, but right now, not so much.


The dietician at kiaser for diabeties doesn't want me having juices at all, not even in 1/2 cup servings, because there's way to much sugar even in all natural juice and way to many carbs. I

I really think you didn't understand the woman. Pasta is no different than a potato or rice or bread. Ans diabetics NEED carbs. In the right quantity. They make fruit juices with no added sugar. Drinking a 1/2 cup of no sugar added fruit juice is no different in sugar and carb intake than eating the actual fruit. Altho the whole fruit has more benefits in general. I find it difficult to believe they are telling you that you may not have any bread. A piece of whole grain bread is healthier than a serving of mashed potatoes, even tho the carb content and calories are the same.
If that's what they said, then that's what they said. But make sure you heard them right. Diabetes runs rampant in my family and I have taught my relatives diabetic diets, even made their meal plans for them, in the beginning. I had them run it by their MDs or dieticians and never once did they tell them they couldn't have bread, pasta, juice or the other things they are telling you. Altho, they like you to drink fruit juice less frequently than eating real fruit.

mbmbn

_____________________________

Tolerance of evil is suicide.- NYC Firefighter

When tolerance is not reciprocated, tolerance becomes surrender.

(in reply to Toppingfrmbottom)

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ORIGINAL: soul2share

I can't help but think while reading the posts here that it's quite possible that you don't yet want to eat healthy or exercise, TFB.  You are rationalizing the comments you make, and the responses that you get from everyone here.  It seems like you have an excuse for everything to prevent you from improving your own health.  It's not my intent to be mean, but it does seem to be a common thread in your responses.

What should it matter if your daddy doesn't want to get up and move?  Do it yourself.  Get out of bed when you wake up and DON'T go back until it's time for bed.  Turn off that TV and get outside.  Don't rely on him to make you start doing better, as he's obviously not going to do it either.  Maybe if he sees you making some sort of effort, he might get up and move himself.  



How healthy are your parents?  Diabetes is hereditary, which means you got it from someone.  Are they morbidly obese, as you are?  Then get them involved in your attempts to eat better and take care of yourself.....they can only benefit from it!  My dad is an insulin dependent diabetic, and he eats pretty much everything he wants, my mom just made some adjustments to the food she serves.  Heck, she lost 20 lbs just eating the same foods my dad does.  He eats pasta, bread, bagels, fruits......he even indulges in ice cream and the occasional sweet.

It actually sounds like you may suffer from depression or something...the apathy, not getting involved in activities, spending all your time in bed......there are medications that can also help. 

Ultimately, it's like others have said.....until you are ready to actually TAKE the steps to improve your health and welfare, there is nothing anyone is going to say that will change your mind.  I only hope that you find the strength or reason to do so.

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ORIGINAL: DesFIP

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ORIGINAL: Elisabella

To clarify, I wasn't talking about treatment in addition to the 12 steps, but treatment instead of the 12 steps.

There ought to be a better way than a 12 step program to deal with alcoholism, gambling addiction, drug addiction. You're right, there ought to be. But there isn't. 12 step groups have the highest success rate over any other treatment program. And that's the bottom line, it works far more often that anything else.

Churchill said something much the same about democracy, that it is far from the best possible government, but it is the best form of government we have ever developed.

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ORIGINAL: hausboy

TFB--
I will send a link (via CM) to a friend of mine's webpage.
She is a close, personal friend--I've known her a long time, and she was always fat. 

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ORIGINAL: angelikaJ


It would be sad if your daddy continues to choose to eat unhealthily.
I am not sure though he understands the cost of not eating right.

You do.
It would be sadder if you decided your wellbeing was dependent on what the people around you were doing or based upon the comfortability of laziness.

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ORIGINAL: tazzygirl

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The funny (and by funny I mean sad) thing is that I've seen people freaking out that if they don't go to their scheduled meeting, they'll relapse...and the only trigger for that relapse would be missing a meeting. I have seen people replace drug addiction with meeting addiction in ways that were destructive to their family and homelife. To me, seriously following the AA program (as opposed to just going to meetings) encourages co-dependency.

I find this funny. Arent they already co-dependent on something?

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ORIGINAL: Toppingfrmbottom

I get mad, and sad, and frusterated, because if I get healthy and loose weight and get myself on  a path to well being and he don't I will leave him beind, and  I will out grow him, and I love him to much to want to out grow him because I chose to climb out of the mire and muck and junk food an he didn't.