RE: Difference Between Submissive & Slave?.

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

RE: Difference Between Submissive & Slave?.

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Difference Between Submissive & Slave?.

Page: << < prev 1 [2] 3 4 5 next > >>

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

RE: Difference Between Submissive & Slave?. - 3/2/2011 2:01:33 PM

SexyBossyBBW

Posts: 1693
Joined: 2/25/2010
Status: offline

I've always liked this set of descriptions, and they are similar to what I've read.

quote:

http://www.collarchat.com/m_604021/mpage_1/tm.htm
Submissive; one who yields power or control to the dominant on a limited basis both during day to day life and during scening or playing. Or one whose nature is submissive, one may be a submissive whether or not they currently are submitting to a dominant, it is what they naturally are.

Slave; one who yields control of all aspects of their existence to the dominant within the limits agreed upon prior to being collared (these are generally agreed upon moral limits, not to be confused with" I get it my way or I leave or Sam type behaviors). One who is considered to be owned by another as their sole property. One whose submission to their owner/s is total, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week in and out of any scenes or play..

_____________________________

"..touching was and still is and always will be the True Revolution" Nikki Giovanni
"Only when there are many people who are pools of peace, silence, understanding, will war disappear." -Osho

(in reply to Licke)

Profile

Post #: 21

RE: Difference Between Submissive & Slave?. - 3/2/2011 2:05:15 PM

InsaneSerenity

Posts: 43
Joined: 2/18/2011
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NihilusZero

quote:

ORIGINAL: TotalDiscipline

we are so kind to new people...

People tend to be solipsistic thinkers. Sometimes it's funny to see how a percentage of the people that respond with humor are only doing so because it's an internet rite of passage for them to be at a level of experience that they can chuckle at the Level 1 Noob questions.

Not every silly response is an example of this, surely, but it's much more fun a game to find out who the Level 2 Noobs with delusions of grandeur are than actually engaging in the jokes about a question that we hear ad infinitum (I was tempted to say ad nauseam, but it's become a cliche offering from some of the very same Level 2 types. Except they usually spell it incorrectly).

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss

Sunny quote of the day
goes to
NihilusZero

for
People tend to be solipsistic thinkers.

(I can hear the dictionary pages turning from all the way over here!)

More than just for that short quip. I think NihilusZero's post is one of the greatest things I've ever read on the internet.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Profile

Post #: 22

RE: Difference Between Submissive & Slave?. - 3/2/2011 2:09:00 PM

Licke

Posts: 24
Joined: 1/14/2011
Status: offline

Thanx to the people who gave mature comments

(in reply to InsaneSerenity)

Profile

Post #: 23

RE: Difference Between Submissive & Slave?. - 3/2/2011 6:40:43 PM

OsideGirl

Posts: 14441
Joined: 7/1/2005
From: United States
Status: offline

One is 5 letters, the other is 10.

Honestly, it's what you make it. Personally, I don't believe that anyone that consents is a slave. It's my viewpoint. Everyone here has their own viewpoint. You'll figure out what it means to you over time.

_____________________________

Give a girl the right shoes and she will conquer the world. ~ Marilyn Monroe

The Accelerated Velocity of Terminological Inexactitude

(in reply to Licke)

Profile

Post #: 24

RE: Difference Between Submissive & Slave?. - 3/2/2011 6:45:53 PM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: NocturnalStalker

A submissive usually has self-respect.

A slave usually has naked photos.

*Stare*

QFT!

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to NocturnalStalker)

Profile

Post #: 25

RE: Difference Between Submissive & Slave?. - 3/2/2011 8:06:14 PM

sweetsub1957

Posts: 2201
Joined: 4/28/2009
Status: offline

~FR~
I think this question has been discussed and debated to death. If you want to see how much, either at the top right or bottom right of the forum page, you can do a search of terms. Really, though, the difference is just what the people IN the relationship say it is. There are people who will never agree with each other about the differences.

All I know for sure is, when I tried to be the slave this one Master wanted, it did NOT work. I guess I'm just not slave material.

~sweetsub~

_____________________________

Member: Lance's Fag Hags.

"That's not just a chip on her shoulder, that's the whole potato!" ~Lady Angelika~

In lowering yourself to talking behind my back, you're perfectly positioned to kiss my ass.

An it harm none, do what ye wilt.

(in reply to porcelaine)

Profile

Post #: 26

RE: Difference Between Submissive & Slave?. - 3/2/2011 8:26:29 PM

LPslittleclip

Posts: 1163
Joined: 9/29/2007
Status: offline

level of trust is with the one they are partnered with it is one of the things that differentiate the submissive from the slave. the slave has voluntarily given up to the Master/Mistress for some there is no way they can become a slave from a submissive many never move from sub and some just go straight to slave.

_____________________________

proud to serve the awsome
LadyPact

(in reply to sweetsub1957)

Profile

Post #: 27

RE: Difference Between Submissive & Slave?. - 3/2/2011 11:24:23 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Licke

Im new to the scene what is the difference of being a Slave and Submissive?:)

Slaves give much better rim jobs

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to Licke)

Profile

Post #: 28

RE: Difference Between Submissive & Slave?. - 3/2/2011 11:57:10 PM

Awareness

Posts: 3918
Joined: 9/8/2010
Status: offline

The colour of the merit badge.

_____________________________

Ever notice how fucking annoying most signatures are? - Yes, I do appreciate the irony.

(in reply to Licke)

Profile

Post #: 29

RE: Difference Between Submissive & Slave?. - 3/3/2011 12:06:01 AM

myotherself

Posts: 7157
Joined: 3/9/2006
From: The cold bit of the UK
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sweetsub1957

[
All I know for sure is, when I tried to be the slave this one Master wanted, it did NOT work.

~sweetsub~

I met a man who wanted to Master a slave. He was not the Master I was looking for, therefore I was not the slave he was looking for.

I met a man who wanted to Dom a sub. He was the Master I was looking for, and now I'm the slave he wasn't looking for

The line between sub and slave depends on the relationship and the expectations and personal chemistry between the two people involved.

_____________________________

There's nowt so queer as folk

(in reply to sweetsub1957)

Profile

Post #: 30

RE: Difference Between Submissive & Slave?. - 3/3/2011 1:00:10 AM

sm8591

Posts: 12
Joined: 3/15/2010
Status: offline

Slave is the extreme side of submissiveness. Most submissives never accept to be treated as 'slave'. Submissives accepting more and more may become slaves. To serve as slave, one must accept to be used without any love or care.

(in reply to kiwisub12)

Profile

Post #: 31

RE: Difference Between Submissive & Slave?. - 3/3/2011 3:14:31 AM

enani17236

Posts: 16
Joined: 11/11/2010
Status: offline

Wow, what a lot of not-very-nice replies - and replies that are completely misunderstood.

Sure, all relationships can make their own definitions of what the difference is between a slave and a submissive, but let me clarify the semantic facts related to those two words:

1. A SUBMISSIVE is a person who shows submissive behavior, also called submission. Submissive behaviors are very common in the animal world, and we humans are not at all alone about using them. Submission is a behavor that is TRIGGERED by another individial's show of DOMINANCE, and the purpose of the submission is to mitigate the threats that are aways included in dominant behavior. This means that submission is aiming at making peace with the dominant, having the dominant accept the presence of the submissive, and protect it instead of chasing it away.
Notice, it is a BEHAVIOR, or a set of behaviors. It is NOT a personality trait. The use of these behaviors is determined by other people's behavior, and there is no problem in a given individual being submissive one moment and dominant the next. It all depends on WHOM we interact with.

2. A SLAVE is a person who is stripped of his/her legal rights. Historicaly, completely without consent, by pure application of force. In a relationship, hopefully with consent. But it is a description of an individual's social status. It has NOTHING to do with choice of behaviors, altough a slave in many cases can be FORCED to show submission, on a fake basis, in order to avoid cruelty and pain. But a submission that is forced is not, in behavioral science, SUBMISSION. It is nothing more than faked theater.

The two have NOTHING to do with each other - they are incomparable, like apples and rocks. One does not include the other or exclude the other. Trying to classify certain humans into two distinct categories called "Slaves" and "Submissives" is utterly nonsense when considering the true meaning of those words.

A slave can be submissive at times - and can definitey also live a full life as slave without ever showing any signs of submission whatsoever! On the contrary, a slave can very well show a lot of dominant behaviors! And a lot of fear behaviors...

A person showing submission can be completely enslaved - or be completey free to make his/her own choices. It has nothing to do with his/her socal/legal status, but has everything to do with the possible presence of a dominant individual that will demand or invite the submission. In the absense of a dominant, submission is meaningless and not possible. A slave can be confined in a cell, completey alone, whether or not he/she shows submission. Showing submission has no relevance to the status of having no freedom; it does not take the presence of anyone. It is not a behavior. And it is not a personality trait either. It is a legal status.

So, OP, no wonder you are confused, because just about everyone in the BDSM world abuses the meaning of those words and creates some jargon out of them that really is completely "internal" - and therefore not at all consistent with anything you can relate to.

The only way it can be justified to use those two words in comparison of each other is by considering the time element involved in both of them. Submission is a instant behavior that is triggered by events in the environment - and it lasts only for the time the interaction between the two individuals will be physical. Because slavery is a status that is not expected to change ever, it does not have any element of "temporary" associated with it, as the act of showing submission certainly does.

This naturally tempts certain folks to refer to submission when "things are not really serious" and to slavery "when it is really serious", sort-of accepting that a "submissive" can say "no" and a slave cannot. But this is truly inconsistent BS, because saying "no" is not at all a submissive behavior, so a person saying "no" is NOT submissive! A slave, however, can say "no", as much as he/she wants - it isn't going to change his/her status one single bit... It might have some very unplesant consequences in the form of a savage punishment, but that does not change the slave's status - or make the slave submissive.

So, this will probably act like a slap in the face on many "old-timers" who will claim that I have not understood anything of this. Very true - when "this" is their internal jargon that completely deviates from the standard definition of those English words.

And because there are as many jargons as there are relationships, you have to ask specifically when you want to know in each specific case - or make your own definition in your own relationship. There is no common standard, other than the one given in the English language - but that is NOT what people use.

Citing Albert Einstein: "Make everything as simple as possible, but not simpler."

Without knowing it, you violated that rule with your question... :-)

_____________________________

Freedom means having options to choose among, even if you might not always like those options. If you have no options or do not know about your options, you are enslaved...

(in reply to sm8591)

Profile

Post #: 32

RE: Difference Between Submissive & Slave?. - 3/3/2011 4:04:30 AM

thishereboi

Posts: 14463
Joined: 6/19/2008
Status: offline

quote:

2. A SLAVE is a person who is stripped of his/her legal rights. Historicaly, completely without consent, by pure application of force.

I seriously doubt any of the people I know who id as slave have given up any of their rights, but it was a interesting read. Personally I think the OP was refering more to the lifestyle and less with the dictionary definitions since slavery is illegal in most places.

_____________________________

"Sweetie, you're wasting your gum" .. Albert

This here is the boi formerly known as orfunboi

(in reply to enani17236)

Profile

Post #: 33

RE: Difference Between Submissive & Slave?. - 3/3/2011 4:41:37 AM

UKEvolutionary

Posts: 60
Joined: 11/20/2006
Status: offline

I've read all of what has been said SO FAR !!! and to be honest, I despise the use of the terms "submissive" and "slave".
My reason is simple. One of My ladies did ALL that was in My limitations, there were things I would not entertain that matched her "wont do's", for eg Scat. So as far as I can see, she was My "slave" and yet to another Dominant who LIKED doing scat, she would only be a submissive. So like most posters on here, I believe it is subject to whom you are with, or select to be with, and then what does it matter what you are ? you're with who you need to be with.
There are out there, submissives who say they will do anything demanded by their Dominant, I sometimes wonder just how far this goes, and this is only My opinion, it isn't "gospell" !!! So I would just say .... submissive.
All slaves are submissive but not all submissives are slaves, common denominator .... submissives !!

< Message edited by UKEvolutionary -- 3/3/2011 4:44:37 AM >

(in reply to enani17236)

Profile

Post #: 34

RE: Difference Between Submissive & Slave?. - 3/3/2011 5:09:55 AM

Kana

Posts: 6676
Joined: 10/24/2006
Status: offline

No need to get complex. The difference is simple.

Submissive's have many choices, slaves have one-to obey or not.

_____________________________

"One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die. "
HST

(in reply to UKEvolutionary)

Profile

Post #: 35

RE: Difference Between Submissive & Slave?. - 3/3/2011 5:16:02 AM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

Greetings,

In all truth the greatest difference has been the elimination of my cushiness to whatever He says and you'd better like it because it's good for you/us kind of thing. It's akin to going from Fergie to the People Under the Stairs. Mind you I like that, so maybe it isn't a big hardship. Oftentimes it's the little things that you give no consideration to that you notice or miss later on.

Namaste,

~porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to Kana)

Profile

Post #: 36

RE: Difference Between Submissive & Slave?. - 3/3/2011 5:42:42 AM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

How it works out practically is that we decide who we are compared to the people around us. I usually say that a slave is someone who will do the things I won't and a sub is someone who won't do the things I will.

Then of course there are those who believe they are more real or true if they're a slave so they call themselves that.

In actuality there are slaves who have more freedom than some of the subs here so you can only decide for yourself what label you would like. We both have objections to the master/slave labels so we call ourselves d/s. There are other posters here who see no practical difference between their m/s relationship and my d/s one and who say they would call us m/s instead if they were doing the labeling.

There is no answer to this question as you have seen. And yes. the different amount of letters in the words is probably the most concrete answer you will get.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to porcelaine)

Profile

Post #: 37

RE: Difference Between Submissive & Slave?. - 3/3/2011 6:10:25 AM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Licke

Im new to the scene what is the difference of being a Slave and Submissive?:)

Five letters.

_____________________________

The Red

(in reply to Licke)

Profile

Post #: 38

RE: Difference Between Submissive & Slave?. - 3/3/2011 6:57:13 AM

Aynne88

Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sm8591

Slave is the extreme side of submissiveness. Most submissives never accept to be treated as 'slave'. Submissives accepting more and more may become slaves. To serve as slave, one must accept to be used without any love or care.

WTF is that? I know several friends of mine that are slaves and are loved and cherished. Cared for and fulfilled in their relationships as well.

_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)

(in reply to sm8591)

Profile

Post #: 39

RE: Difference Between Submissive & Slave?. - 3/3/2011 7:23:19 AM

sm8591

Posts: 12
Joined: 3/15/2010
Status: offline

Slave in BDSM sense is different from the dictionary definition. A BDSM slave will not just serve as submissive during sessions. Spending a week on a farm as 'BDSM-slave' most of the time i just had to do hard labour and the kind of 'dirty' jobs nobody likes to do. The Dom enjoyed watching me doing all the work. I was naked all the time although used only now and then for anything sexually. Being used as BDSM slave has mostly to do with humiliation and rather rough play.

(in reply to Aileen1968)

Profile

Post #: 40