Personal Service Cluttering Your life?

Collarspace Discussion Forums

Home Login Search

Personal Service Cluttering Your life?

View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Personal Service Cluttering Your life?

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

Login

Message

<< Older Topic Newer Topic >>

Personal Service Cluttering Your life? - 3/27/2011 10:04:26 AM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Do you ever get fed up with having someone under your feet (sometimes literally) and miss doing things for yourself?

To qualify the question: you have a slave 24/7 who wants to be pleasing and serve you. Don't you wish sometimes that you had the personal space without upsetting the feelings of a slave or anyone else and just get up and potter, make coffee or food when and where you feel like? My answer is to have the focus not on personal service but on domestic duties.

I love being spoiled and pampered but it gets a tad over the top at times and I need to remind people I am not a cripple.. These are the times when I want to fire up the 4x4 hook the boat trailer on and go fishing for the day (or night or even the bloody weekend) just to get some peace..

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

Post #: 1

RE: Personal Service Cluttering Your life? - 3/27/2011 10:30:31 AM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

I use the same phrase that parents the world over have used from time immemorial..."Go to your room"

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 2

RE: Personal Service Cluttering Your life? - 3/27/2011 10:41:30 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

I have said this for a very long time. In My relationship with My two males, I really am the one who has a greater desire for personal space. It is not that I don't recognize that they would wish it another way. At the same time, I know that I do have a wish for My separate time apart. In doing so, I center. I find Myself.

I will always need to be My own woman. A part of that is just being with Myself. My own thoughts, My own wants, and My own identification. It doesn't take long. Just enough to keep Me right with the world.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Arpig)

Post #: 3

RE: Personal Service Cluttering Your life? - 3/27/2011 10:46:06 AM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

Do you ever get fed up with having someone under your feet (sometimes literally) and miss doing things for yourself?

No.

More specifically, if I want to do something for myself I do so. Carol will, sometimes, display a tiny bit of agitation at this but it's easily handled with a simple command. If obeying me was likely to upset Carol's feelings then I wouldn't think of her as my property and I wouldn't have her in a role which demands absolute obedience.

Stepping back from the D/s angles here though, I expect ANY partner of mine to see ME, not some fantasy image of me. If they're trying to "serve" me in all the ways which feel good to them then they wouldn't be my partner to start with. That's just plain selfish.

Carol or I travels on and off... a few days here and there. It's enough to supply our very minimal needs for "private time". If it wasn't, why wouldn't I simply command that also?

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 4

RE: Personal Service Cluttering Your life? - 3/27/2011 10:48:25 AM

GhitaAmati

Posts: 3263
Joined: 5/30/2007
Status: offline

I kind of have the opposite problem. One, my husband is extreamly laid back, so there arent any set protocols about what I should do or what needs to get done when. But especially because my relationship with him is more the DaddyDom type. Where he wants to be the provider and protector and supporter of me. Which is sometimes super annoying. There have been days where I have been in tears begging to do the dishes for him because dammit I should be doing the dishes and instead he's telling me he is quite capable of loading a dishwasher and I should go read a book or something.

_____________________________

I said I was a submissive, I never said I was a GOOD submissive.

Sex without love is a meaningless experience, but as far as meaningless experiences go its pretty damn good.
~Woody Allen

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 5

RE: Personal Service Cluttering Your life? - 3/27/2011 10:51:22 AM

Arpig

Posts: 9930
Joined: 1/3/2006
From: Increasingly further from reality
Status: offline

quote:

There have been days where I have been in tears begging to do the dishes for him because dammit I should be doing the dishes and instead he's telling me he is quite capable of loading a dishwasher and I should go read a book or something.

OK, I take it back. I'm NOT the most laid back Dom out there.

_____________________________

Big man! Pig Man!
Ha Ha...Charade you are!

Why do they leave out the letter b on "Garage Sale" signs?

CM's #1 All-Time Also-Ran

(in reply to GhitaAmati)

Post #: 6

RE: Personal Service Cluttering Your life? - 3/27/2011 11:03:54 AM

porcelaine

Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Do you ever get fed up with having someone under your feet (sometimes literally) and miss doing things for yourself?

Greetings,

Questions like these always leave me scratching my head. And i think you've touched on something that i've observed from both sides regarding this subject. The idea of constant attention is appealing in its infancy, but at some point there's an expression of "enough already" that is commonly echoed. Now i won't suggest that one shouldn't choose a girl that seeks and needs the same, but i believe in balance whenever possible. Having had that measure of constant contact and witnessed what its omission did to me mentally and emotionally, i'm not inclined to go there again.

i don't mind him surrounding me and i welcome that if it's what he prefers. However, everyone needs a moment to recharge and time alone often provides this. As property i'm not entitled to that luxury, but i'll be honest and admit my appreciation of the privilege when it's bestowed. And i believe he deserves the same.

Namaste,

~porcelaine

_____________________________

His will; my fate.

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 7

RE: Personal Service Cluttering Your life? - 3/27/2011 11:06:38 AM

LadyPact

Posts: 32566
Status: offline

Where's that doing dishes thread?

Nope. Mine comes when I want to bathe Myself. What Domme doesn't want her boy to wash her? Me! There are times I don't want anyone washing My back, My hair, or any other thing. I want My Calgone moments.

I have had three subs now that don't particularly like this. There have been some times that clip gets very disappointed about it. Looking back, pet was the same way.

_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to Arpig)

Post #: 8

RE: Personal Service Cluttering Your life? - 3/27/2011 11:14:02 AM

flcouple2009

Posts: 2784
Joined: 1/8/2009
Status: offline

YES

I've just never been fond of sitting on my ass and watching others do the work. If we all jump in and finish the task it leaves more time for other things.

I love to cook. I once had a submissive who would freak out every time I started working in the kitchen. She had trouble grasping that for me it was relaxing and I deeply enjoyed doing it. Eventually things settled into the I cook , you clean but I don't think she was really truly happy about it, lol.

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 9

RE: Personal Service Cluttering Your life? - 3/27/2011 11:31:06 AM

Lockit

Posts: 11292
Joined: 5/7/2007
Status: offline

Although I am not in a relationship of the typical at the moment, I do know what you mean. I very much enjoy being alone and doing for myself. When I am in a new relationship, that beginning stage can be a bit of a struggle. I am used to wanting something and getting up and getting it. As much as I enjoy being pampered or served, it is habit to me to do for myself. I must remind myself that there is a need for my partner to serve me or pamper me. There is a need in the dynamic's for us both to learn our path and get out of the habit of doing for myself and letting him in to do for me.

I see a lot of irritation in having a shadow. In fact, a few mishaps have taken place because I wasn't expecting someone right behind me trying to do what I was already doing.

In the long term, my guys typically know how I like things and they give me space and if need be, can let me know they need more in the way of taking care of me because of a personal need they have. I am pretty attentive to this and when I need time, I let them know. If their need overrides my need... we have a problem that will be addressed because I find that when someone needs that much, we must address that need and making them less needy. There can be and has to be a balance in it all or I won't be happy with it.

I have been known to go for a loaf of bread and stay away all day and most the night in situations where I was being overwhelmed and they wouldn't take my word on what I said. One said, here is my credit card, go shopping. He wouldn't take no. I said fine... give me the card and I took what I needed. Not a shopping trip.. but a trip. I didn't use the card and he never tried to force me into it again. That isn't how I handle it now, but it is what I did. No one pushes me. I used to push back... now, I just walk. Whether it be credit card, service or pampering... it happens when I want it or can see a benefit or it doesn't happen.

I will be single until someone gets that. lol

_____________________________

No matter how old a woman gets, some men will think she was born yesterday! ROFL... I love this place!

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 10

RE: Personal Service Cluttering Your life? - 3/27/2011 11:44:58 AM

agirl

Posts: 4530
Joined: 6/14/2004
Status: offline

I've got little inclination to *serve*, so M isn't ever likely to suffer it...lol

He told me right from the word go that if he wants something he'll ask for it......Life is so simple that way.

I'll nip off and do stuff if he asks me to but other than that I amuse myself doing what I want.

agirl

_____________________________

See how easy it can be?

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 11

RE: Personal Service Cluttering Your life? - 3/27/2011 11:56:10 AM

ResidentSadist

Posts: 12580
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: a mean old Daddy, but I like you - Joni Mitchell
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear
Do you ever get fed up with having someone under your feet (sometimes literally) and miss doing things for yourself?

I like cooking and have had to toss a slave or two outta’ the kitchen in my day. I know what you mean about the hurt feelings when they can’t serve Master and feel like you took their usefulness away . . . so I let them wash the dishes and pass out several "good girls". Then all is right as rain again.

_____________________________

-=BDSM Book List=- Reading is Fundamental !!!
I give good thread.

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 12

RE: Personal Service Cluttering Your life? - 3/27/2011 12:01:30 PM

YSG

Posts: 1001
Joined: 8/6/2010
Status: offline

From a submissive side of things, I am absolutely OK with my Lady telling me "hey, I need some alone time". In fact, there have been, and will be times that I need to tell my Lady that I need the same thing (in a polite, respectful manner of course). There are going to be times where I need to play my guitar, write, and work on my playbook or something. I dont see anything wrong with it, its just being you own person

_____________________________

Our duty is to hold ourselves responsible to the people. Every word, every act and every policy must conform to the people's interests, and if mistakes occur, they must be corrected - that is what being responsible to the people means- Mao Zedong

(in reply to agirl)

Post #: 13

RE: Personal Service Cluttering Your life? - 3/27/2011 12:01:50 PM

Phoenixpower

Posts: 8098
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear
These are the times when I want to fire up the 4x4 hook the boat trailer on and go fishing for the day (or night or even the bloody weekend) just to get some peace..

I experienced it so far only the other way around, e.g. last year I went to OK to meet a guy where I used my time I had on hand during the day to get him some wood to his house for his fire place...the next days I had tiny bit breathing problems in my back muscles (between the shoulder blades) and when I got home and chattet to a friend on the phone I realised that this was caused from the weight I pulled on the day before I knew how to ride his 4wheeler to pull it out.

When I mentioned it to him that I figured it out now where this came from he threw his hissy fit that this would be why women shouldnt work in the forest

And was pretty much the last I had heard from that tosser

Personally I would have no problem at all to take a back seat at times as in general quite frankly life keeps me too busy to jump at every stick thrown at me...

< Message edited by Phoenixpower -- 3/27/2011 12:03:24 PM >

_____________________________

RIP 08-09-07

The PAST is history, the FUTURE a mystery, NOW is a gift - that's why it's called the PRESENT

www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 14

RE: Personal Service Cluttering Your life? - 3/27/2011 12:10:28 PM

DesFIP

Posts: 25191
Joined: 11/25/2007
From: Apple County NY
Status: offline

Anytime he wants to do laundry, he's welcome to it. But if he gets up and gets a glass of water I'm not going to throw a fit. However I'm the one who needs more alone time here.

_____________________________

Slave to laundry

Cynical and proud of it!

(in reply to Phoenixpower)

Post #: 15

RE: Personal Service Cluttering Your life? - 3/27/2011 12:17:40 PM

littlewonder

Posts: 15659
Status: offline

If Master wants to do something for himself then he does it. If he wants me to do it he tells me to do it therefore I don't think my personal service clutters up his life. I'm thinking he probably wishes I was around to do even more for him but he knows I have other things to tend to in life and thus rarely pushes me further than he knows I can handle even though he knows I wish there were more hours in the day to do more for him.

As for alone time, we don't live together so we both have more than enough alone time and if one of us, either of us, needs more alone time, we simply tell each other.

It's never been a difficult problem for us.

< Message edited by littlewonder -- 3/27/2011 12:22:03 PM >

(in reply to DesFIP)

Post #: 16

RE: Personal Service Cluttering Your life? - 3/27/2011 1:26:02 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Part of my scheduals, is to allocate free time for staff. This is different for the times that are allocated for hobbies or study but just time to recharge their batteries and if they want and I am in the mood to sit and just yarn with me usually over a "camp fire" in the yard or the the forge whilst boiling a billy of tea(bushman style). It's a grand time to share hopes and aspirations and to get to know each other better too. Love doing such things and taking the mob fishing so we all get a break from ther home and each other.. Beaches are great places to enjoy company and yet be alone..

Learned a lot from all the replies so thanks everyone.. Thought I was a mean bastard not letting a slave do her thing and being selfish wanting to do the independent thing..

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to littlewonder)

Post #: 17

RE: Personal Service Cluttering Your life? - 3/27/2011 1:38:10 PM

leadership527

Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear
Thought I was a mean bastard not letting a slave do her thing and being selfish wanting to do the independent thing..

ROFL... hold on tight, this is gonna be one of my patently undomly statements. I've never done the whole "selfish" thing very well which pretty much makes me a crappy dom. Accordingly, I often end up reminding myself something like:

"You know Jeff, as much as you're focused on US and all, you're still fully half of US and there needs to be commands allocated to stuff selfishly for you."

Another way to put that. I'm hugely more protective of Carol than I am myself. I need to remind myself that it is not serving Carol's interests at all if I fail to protect and care for myself in my zeal to care for her. In fact, it's hard to think of anything that'd get her more testy than that. If I routinely failed at that, she wouldn't obey anymore. Her desire to obey would not be able to stand up to her love for me.

_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 18

RE: Personal Service Cluttering Your life? - 3/27/2011 1:56:08 PM

IronBear

Posts: 9008
Joined: 6/19/2005
From: Beenleigh, Qld, Australia
Status: offline

Makes perfect sense to me Jeff, I'm similar with Neets in that I have to make myself back off and have her take charge of stuff like accounts and daily running of the home and her share of both marketing and accounting of our businesses simply because she is so precious to me. fact id she grew up in a very strict 50's style home where her father handled all this stuff believing it was never a wioman's job (still does and cops shyte from my mother in law too).. Anything happens to me Neets needs to know how everything is run and who to talk to , who to trust and who to shoot (LOL).. She'll be worth a packet by the time I'm ready to kick the bucket and no bastard is going to take anything away from her. So yeah I've been a selfish prick in some ways but there is always method in my arseholeyness.

_____________________________

Iron Bear

Master of Bruin Cottage

http://www.bruincottage.org

Your attitude, words & actions are yours. Take responsibility for them and the consequences they incur.

D.I.L.L.I.G.A.F.

(in reply to leadership527)

Post #: 19

RE: Personal Service Cluttering Your life? - 3/27/2011 2:06:24 PM

Aileen1968

Posts: 6062
Joined: 12/12/2007
From: I miss Shore, New Jersey
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: IronBear

Do you ever get fed up with having someone under your feet (sometimes literally) and miss doing things for yourself?

To qualify the question: you have a slave 24/7 who wants to be pleasing and serve you. Don't you wish sometimes that you had the personal space without upsetting the feelings of a slave or anyone else and just get up and potter, make coffee or food when and where you feel like? My answer is to have the focus not on personal service but on domestic duties.

I love being spoiled and pampered but it gets a tad over the top at times and I need to remind people I am not a cripple.. These are the times when I want to fire up the 4x4 hook the boat trailer on and go fishing for the day (or night or even the bloody weekend) just to get some peace..

For a while I took it personally when he got up to do something that I could have done for him. I would say to him, "I would have done that for you". That got old really fast and he told me in no uncertain terms not to say that again.
So now I've accepted that when he wants me to do something he will tell me and when he gets up to do it himself it means he wanted to do it himself.
Simple.

_____________________________

(in reply to IronBear)

Post #: 20

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> Personal Service Cluttering Your life?

Page: [1] 2 3 4 5 next > >>

Jump to:

New Messages	No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages	Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages	Locked w/o New Messages

Post New Thread

Reply to Message

Post New Poll

Submit Vote

Delete My Own Post

Delete My Own Thread

Rate Posts

Collarchat.com © 2025

Terms of Service

0.098