porcelaine
Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006 Status: offline
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ORIGINAL: NorthernGent Again, apologies for the delay. Greetings NorthernGent, There's no need to apologize. Nonetheless i appreciate your courtesy. :) quote:
I'd agree: preliminary step when making an assessment. Although I'd add that written communication is a useful appraisal tool during the relationship, which I'm not suggesting is something you excluded as a possibility. i try not to make comparisons when i'm becoming acquainted with someone. However, it is true that there have been instances when what's articulated in the written form has piqued my interest to the point where our communication increases and bonds are formed in time. i don't believe these situations are representative of most of my dialogues. But in retrospect i can't make a blanket statement and say never either. quote:
I think so. You're having a conversation, you like him/her, you've been speaking for a while, well, what's a few hundred quid to fork out in the grand scheme of things in order to get on the plane and see what happens? i've been involved in long distance relationships in the past that did lead to a permanent solution in time. However, i'm of the belief that one must be willing to make the mental and emotional adjustments that these situations require. And with that some financial sacrifices (if needed) to permit frequent visits. It isn't a question of if, but when where i'm concerned. Also, there's a giant dose of realism involved that puts forth the idea of who's relocating. Otherwise one is no better than the proverbial bird and fish that fall in love but have nowhere to nest. i take these things into consideration in the early stages. quote:
It's a big commitment, one demanding a considered decision. Furthermore, in the event you're considering leaving a few things behind, thinking of your plane comment here, then a wise person would think well of it. I'm all for intuition, although it doesn't necessarily compromise planning when and where a big decision is in the offing. Ideally both parties have been making preparations to permit the realization of the relationship each aspire to have. i've done this and the only impediment (if one wishes to call it that) is having a suitable complement. Being in a state of readiness alleviates some concerns along with the conscious ramifications of what must be surrendered to facilitate the union. As with most things it is a matter of ones priorities and the degree of importance the other person has inspired in his beholder. Bringing these matters to fruition is less daunting when you're well seasoned and have notable experiences to draw from. quote:
There are no guarantees in this life, in any given situation, so I fully understand and agree with you. I'd go with possibility rather than probability, perhaps an indication of my planning and judgement skills. Okay, you've got me there. Possibility is definitely a more appropriate descriptor. And given my tastes i'd surmise it is probable things will go well. quote:
NV offered something similar, interesting comments, almost religious in nature. I would disagree with both of you. I think you have to grab the bull by the horns, have to make things happen. I don't exercise a somewhat stoic approach to these matters with a seasoning of 'all good things come to those who wait'. I do it because of principle; to me it is a romantic assertion of what I am to stay focused on the 5% who will, inevitably, expect more from me in time, effort and qualities and, likewise, I would expect similar from them. What i'm addressing in my remarks is the emotional lull that waxes between upset, impatience, and in some instances outright panic that the individual will never encounter 'the one' they desire to serve. i'm admittedly laissez-faire and don't intentionally seek the company of the opposite sex or comb through profiles looking for the diamond in the haystack. my methodology is far different. For me, it isn't the belief that good things arrive due to patience, but the understanding that most persons are unsuitable for my constitution. It isn't the fact that i have not happened upon an individual that showed promise, but an honest reflection of their inability to meet me where i am and bring me to a greater state. If the most profound depth the other party can provide is the cultivation of parlor-like sexual tricks or a new fangled cleaning regime, our paths will never join. i offer dimension and need the same. But more than this, it is not in my usual disposition to hunt the opposite sex without cause. i may recognize his potential but i'll never give chase. Presentation is my statement. What he does with it is his to decide. quote:
I like your version of romanticism in this: inner emotions as opposed to outward displays of affection. You must be able to reconcile your need to move from written communication to face-to-face contact, with 'his essence being hard to miss'? Thank you for the compliment. my controlled nature is very misleading. But in my mind passion is a sort of intimation that i don't share with the masses. It is intentionally bestowed upon the audience most deserving of its fruits. As for the man that compels my hand and the essence he emits, there's nothing to reconcile. His desire to possess emboldens his response and ignites my acquiesce. The two move in tandem with an inevitable collision that brings me to my knees. Resistance is futile. The strength of his person and mastery overpower me. There is but one response. Yes. Namaste, ~porcelaine
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His will; my fate.
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