porcelaine
Posts: 5020
Joined: 7/24/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: NorthernGent
Quite right, too. Practicalities, finances and cultural differences all need to be taken care of, and you're wise to make these primary considerations. I could manage those aspects quite easily. The burden for me would be leaving my immediate family behind - not sure that that would be something I'd want on my conscience.
Greetings NorthernGent,
i do not assess the dominant persona in the early stages, but take note of the man and what that involves. It is the constant that i'll always be subject to and one i must be able to live with no matter what. As such, practical concerns regarding lifestyle are at the forefront of my thoughts. i look for self sufficient persons that are responsible and capable of thriving in a healthy fashion irrespective of partnership. Since relocation is not an issue for me, i must be very particular about the company i entertain.
Unfortunately, many gentleman aren't seeking a companion; but a codependent living arrangement which alleviates domestic duties that's intentionally mislabeled to mask his laziness. This includes the requisite smattering of slap and tickle and some makeshift commands thrown in for good measure. The popular idea of 'mastery' does not coincide with my beliefs. i look for tangible demonstrations of effective leadership and a willingness to address deficiencies without provocation.
As for your family, is it possible that you're getting ahead of yourself in the assumption that a departure is required? If leaving is not an option, then i trust you have the capacity to provide a convincing argument why your home is the best environment for both. In short, make her hungry and bring her to you. :)
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In my mind, illogical though it may seem to others, anyone approaching a relationship from a point of view of weighing up the products and the associated pros and cons is simply not a match for me. I envisage that further down the line such a person would lead only to a stale relationship like most relationships of normality where two people follow the norm, particularly the Western model of style over substance, and seek and find only rare glimpses of meaning.
If i answer this i'll reveal too much. Suffice to say there are rare specimens that don't go through the rigors most endure. They possess a certain savoire faire; an aura if you will that negates these things. We simply click.
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Given a choice of: a) the usual type of relationship driven by a lack of desire to move beyond accepted wisdom and the outer world or b) remaining on my own and seeking substitute meaning through learning as much as I can about myself and the world, then I would opt for b each and every time.
The first approach is reminiscent of the safe route some take that i cannot abide. Stability is fine but it's an empty existence when passion and adventure are absent.
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That's an interesting poit of view. Think I need to give this one more thought before replying. I'll send you a PM on this one at some point.
Very well. i didn't want to unpack it. i can't tell everything. i look forward to your response. :)
quote:
We're like minded.
Order in the outer world; self-expression in the inner world.
Control breeds discipline and is an excellent gatekeeper as well. It draws and repels without great expense. 
Namaste,
~porcelaine
_____________________________
His will; my fate.
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RE: exclusivity - 
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