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Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 11:46:54 AM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I have a question for everyone! I was wondering what people felt about casual play and D/s? Do you feel that someone is submitting their power to you if you are just casually playing? And do subs feel they are really submitting if it is a casual play scene? I was just curious if people felt causal play is really D/s.. Or is it just play? I would assume that there will be many different answers to this as there are people who respond, I was just wondering how people felt about this.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

Post #: 1

RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 11:57:32 AM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
I was wondering what people felt about casual play and D/s?

I think they are great!

quote:

Do you feel that someone is submitting their power to you if you are just casually playing?

I think you can transfer authority in pretty much any context that you want it to.

quote:

And do subs feel they are really submitting if it is a casual play scene?

A person can submit on a non-permanent or even episodic basis. Whether the person is submitting or bottoming within a scene depends on the context.

quote:

Or is it just play?

It can be both. For me, I can submit just within a scene, and I can also just play within a scene. It depends on the dynamic that I have going and where we want to be with eachother.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 2

RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 12:00:34 PM

meatcleaver

Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline

To me it is just play. If I'm honest I just couldn't cope with a full time D/s relationship, I just don't have the inclination and if that doesn't make me a real dom I just don't care since I've never seriously used the term dom to describe myself. I guess I really just top.

I have two play partners I play with fairly regular, they both know about each other and happy with that. I think if I wanted to make them both full time D/s relationships neither would like it or be willing partners. Most times it is just S&M play but sometimes the whole scenario is stretched over the time I'm visiting.

The truth is I just don't like a woman fussing over me, I enjoy the intellectual banter and getting as good as I can give, except when sex is involved. So we play at it from time to time but the S&m is serious as it enjoyable.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 3

RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 12:06:23 PM

spankmepink11

Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline

I also feel that even if it is for short duration....casual BDSM play is indeed submitting one self to another.

As cautious as i am about relationships, if it wasn't for casual scenes with Dominants who are good friends of mine, then this poor girl would be sadly deprived of being depraved.

In my opinion it's not quite the same as being a "bottom" because even though i don't formally belong to that person in the long term...during the course of our scene, i am every bit His to do with as He pleases.

(in reply to LuckyAlbatross)

Post #: 4

RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 12:08:26 PM

bandit25

Posts: 3029
Joined: 6/18/2005
Status: offline

I think you can submit in play and it is just play. To be honest, I have a bit of a hard time with submitting whe it's not play. Well, what I mean is, since I'm not 24/7, I have so much of my "own stuff" that I have to take care of, it's hard to get into that submissive mindset at times.

(in reply to meatcleaver)

Post #: 5

RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 12:14:56 PM

composer83

Posts: 101
Joined: 2/14/2006
From: Oklahoma City
Status: offline

i have a Domme with whom i meet on a casual basis.....because we are unable to see eachother enough for a 24/7 TPE situation...but she is nonetheless in control.....
its still lots of fun & i dont think it de-values my submission in the least

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(in reply to bandit25)

Post #: 6

RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 12:17:39 PM

brighteyes51

Posts: 1
Joined: 4/20/2006
Status: offline

i agree that when you are not 24/7 with someone and you are taking care of your own life it is hard to get and keep in the submissive mind frame......but i also have a friend that i play with and at that time during our play i am His submissive........and it has worked out well for both of us .........

(in reply to bandit25)

Post #: 7

RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 12:20:56 PM

CrappyDom

Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline

Submission is just that, you submit by letting my choose what you have for dinner, let me stuff a ball gag in your mouth, or wake up at my feet.

(in reply to bandit25)

Post #: 8

RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 12:21:11 PM

BrutalAntipathy

Posts: 412
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline

Casual play is what I scornfully refer to as weekend ass slappers. I don't see them as lifestyle D/s, but more like vanilla with sprinkles. When someone starts talking about a " scene ", I automatically assign them to this category. Actors play in scenes, and actors are role players. Just my opinion, but i'm sticking to it.

(in reply to composer83)

Post #: 9

RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 12:22:51 PM

juliaoceania

Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline

I think what I meant is that you are only playing with someone that you have no intention of being with in a LTR... I do not mean 24-7, I mean someone that is little more than a playmate, not someone that you are deeply involved with. (BTW I do not even know how to define what 24-7 means so that is another thread, one that has probably been done 1000 times, so I will refrain from asking others what they think of that concept)

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to brighteyes51)

Post #: 10

RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 12:27:31 PM

spankmepink11

Posts: 1310
Joined: 9/28/2005
Status: offline

Isn't wonderful that we do not have to rely on others to define us.

(in reply to BrutalAntipathy)

Post #: 11

RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 12:33:04 PM

LuckyAlbatross

Posts: 19224
Joined: 10/25/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania
I think what I meant is that you are only playing with someone that you have no intention of being with in a LTR... I do not mean 24-7, I mean someone that is little more than a playmate, not someone that you are deeply involved with. (BTW I do not even know how to define what 24-7 means so that is another thread, one that has probably been done 1000 times, so I will refrain from asking others what they think of that concept)

There are slaves who can be committed in a relationship without any feelings of love towards their master.

If you can imagine it, people are doing it, and very happy with it.

Submission can happen in any context. Heck we hear all the time about people who meet for the first time and feel an immediate need/desire to submit.

_____________________________

Find stable partners, not a stable of partners.

"Sometimes my whore logic gets all fuzzy"- Californication

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 12

RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 12:35:59 PM

MistressJira

Posts: 4
Joined: 9/19/2004
Status: offline

I concur with BrutalAntipathy, and I have turned down many who fit into this category. My time is worth so much more.

_____________________________

Life Is 2 Short, Live Whats In Your Heart
Mistress
Jira

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 13

RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 12:38:18 PM

irishbynature

Posts: 551
Joined: 5/11/2006
Status: offline

Hi Julia.
As in life, which can be serious, playful, or casual...it strictly depends on the people involved. Smiles.

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 14

RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 12:38:31 PM

MistressSassy66

Posts: 1675
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I have a question for everyone! I was wondering what people felt about casual play and D/s? Do you feel that someone is submitting their power to you if you are just casually playing? And do subs feel they are really submitting if it is a casual play scene? I was just curious if people felt causal play is really D/s.. Or is it just play? I would assume that there will be many different answers to this as there are people who respond, I was just wondering how people felt about this.

IMO,the word play just makes it sound like a game,its not a game for Me its My life.Again its only MHO.

Sessioning is a word I take seriously,MOST OF My submissives that session with Me are submissive to Me all the time.When they arnt here they write daily ,weekly or once a month. Some call weekly to say hi.These arent something I make them do...its something they want to do.
For Myself the answer is yes...they are submitting ,even if its casual.

_____________________________

Mistress Sassy

http://www.mistresssassy.com

In the Immortal Words of Bob....Fuck the dumb shit.

"I love you not only for what you are,But for what I am when I'm with you."- Opening line from a poem by Roy Croft

(in reply to juliaoceania)

Post #: 15

RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 12:42:43 PM

WhiteRadiance

Posts: 247
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: BrutalAntipathy

Casual play is what I scornfully refer to as weekend ass slappers. I don't see them as lifestyle D/s, but more like vanilla with sprinkles. When someone starts talking about a " scene ", I automatically assign them to this category. Actors play in scenes, and actors are role players. Just my opinion, but i'm sticking to it.

BRAVO! Well said!

(in reply to BrutalAntipathy)

Post #: 16

RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 1:00:27 PM

Kirei

Posts: 146
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline

I've seen casual play people that have better lifestyle relationships than so called real lifestylers. Casual play, like d/s, m/s, b/d, scene, play, are all just terms used to describe things. Most people use these terms to define what it means for them...they may not be right. Look at what the terms liberal and conservative really mean? yet we use them to mean totally different things today. So I just think that we are seeing the same things happening in almost ever area in life. Stuff that was purely geek terms, are now computer savy, or some such thing.
One should remember take such things with a grain of salt, then throw it over your shoulder and say, "well that may for them, but its not for me and how I would define it". simple and easy.

Koneko

(in reply to WhiteRadiance)

Post #: 17

RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 1:06:10 PM

akisha

Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline

Ofcourse you can submit on a causual basis. Sometimes it's just play sometimes it's not. Depends on who, and where you are playing I'd say.

The Dom i see, i only see occasionally but I talk to him everyday a few times a day. Does this mean it's just play?.... Not to me. To some i'd be a weekend player I guess but that's all i can do at the moment do to circumstances so whatever. I've never been concerned with what others thought before, and not about to start now.

_____________________________

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Your pain makes me smile ~ Happy Bunny

532-095-649

(in reply to WhiteRadiance)

Post #: 18

RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 1:09:19 PM

aurora31

Posts: 266
Joined: 8/18/2005
Status: offline

I am curently looking for a 24/7 LTR with out much luck in finding the right match for me. If it were not for "causual play" or "scening" I would have absoultly no r/t experiance. Does this make me any less lifestyle D/s M/s I do not think so. I know who I am and what I seek and will not settle for less. One of these days I will find that LTR that I seek. Until then "causul play" and "scening" give me valuable experiance and the opertunity to fulfill my need to submit even if only on a temporary basis,

aurora

(in reply to WhiteRadiance)

Post #: 19

RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 1:09:32 PM

SirTIM

Posts: 7
Joined: 8/9/2004
Status: offline

How.. or when Y/you play, lil one is ... or should be... between u and the one u r dealing with. period....

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Sir TIM

(in reply to akisha)

Post #: 20

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