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RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/12/2006 2:51:21 PM   
akisha


Posts: 2071
Joined: 6/25/2005
Status: offline 		I for one do not play with just anyone. I need to feel the right connection to submit to them. So for me even causual play is submitting and not just "playing" at it. Yes it may be for a specified time limit but i'm allowing someone else to assume control for that time. Therefore for me it is real.

If others therefore deem me vanilla with sprinkles *chuckles* that's fine. I've never been worried about others opinions and not about to start now.

You only need to please those that hold a special place in your life. What anyone else thinks really shouldn't matter.

I am confindent in who and what i am, and that is really all that matters. Others will either accept me or write me off for that reason.



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(in reply to WhiteRadiance)
Profile   Post #: 81
RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/12/2006 2:52:13 PM   
BretSkye


Posts: 3
Joined: 5/2/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiteRadiance

Do you feel that someone is submitting their power to you if you are just casually playing?... Or is it just play?


In my very limited experience (with only two r/t Dommes), it feels like PLAY to me, but then again I'm a writer and a thespian, so -- like I said earlier -- the entire world's a stage. :)

I do feel like I am submitting fully within the "scene" but I also believe that a totally committed relationship (i.e., 24/7) might provide a deeper and probably more fullfilling experience. Unfortunately, not all of us have lives that can accomodate that ... and so we play, and (hopefully) we learn something about ourselves.

(in reply to WhiteRadiance)
Profile   Post #: 82
RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/12/2006 5:53:06 PM   
CreativeDominant


Posts: 11032
Joined: 3/11/2006
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiteRadiance

I do not think there is anything wrong with any type of play, nor do I believe an unpopular opinion is necessarily wrong.  We are all entitled to our opinions.
However I do like to stay on topic. And the topic,is...
 
Do you feel that someone is submitting their power to you if you are just casually playing? And do subs feel they are really submitting if it is a casual play scene? I was just curious if people felt causal play is really D/s.. Or is it just play?


I know a submissive who would answer "yes" because to her, while the play might be casual, the submission never is and she will not play with someone that she feels no desire to submit to. 

A person can take this idea of 'play' in many directions.  Let's say a dominant in a 24/7 relationship ties his submissive up in order that he can spank her in a certain manner, then hangs her upside down and uses a feather duster on her clit ( because he knows it makes her wet ) until she is so wet that it is coming out of her ears (because she is upside down and gagged), all the while emphasizing the fact in whatever manner he chooses that he is the dominant and she is the submissive and finishes by attaching clamps allllllllll over and then using the 'zipper' method to remove them thereby sending her into orgasm (blowing out her ears...damn) and subspace.  He renders aftercare. 
Now...is that a 'play session' because it involved BDSM activity or is it not a play session since they are 24/7 D/s and it is just part of their normal lifestyle?  OR...Is that a play session AND D/s since they are 24/7?

Same scene, including aftercare and the sexual aspect, occurs between a dominant and submissive who know each other well and have played together before but are not in an ongoing D/s relationship.  They respect each other.  As noted, part of the scene involves dominance and submission.  Is that 'play' dominance and submission because they are not involved with each other and neither has engaged in any other sort of D/s activity for the last two months?  Is it just topping and bottoming?  (neither definition of which, by the way, indicates the controlling partner...only which end of the sensations being rendered you are on)

People are going to look at it and define it in a way that suits them and while there might be some basics that most in D/s can agree on...it does seem when you get to bigger issues, everyone has their own opinion and the opinions in the bigger areas seem to have a bigger sensitivity stripe around them.

You've stated that Brutal's opinion was attacked simply for being different.  I disagree.  I do not attack his opinion because it is different.  He could have merely said that he does not agree with the idea of mixing casual play with D/s. 
I...like others...have a problem with the scorn he displays towards those who feel differently than he (the so-called 'weekenders' or 'ass-slappers') who might love to be in a D/s relationship (or not) who yet feel that they should not have to give up the D/s aspect of playing simply because they are NOT in an ongoing relationship with the one they are playing with.


(in reply to WhiteRadiance)
Profile   Post #: 83
RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/12/2006 6:49:46 PM   
heartfeltsub


Posts: 1641
Joined: 11/5/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: CreativeDominant

 



You've stated that Brutal's opinion was attacked simply for being different.  I disagree.  I do not attack his opinion because it is different.  He could have merely said that he does not agree with the idea of mixing casual play with D/s. 
I...like others...have a problem with the scorn he displays towards those who feel differently than he (the so-called 'weekenders' or 'ass-slappers') who might love to be in a D/s relationship (or not) who yet feel that they should not have to give up the D/s aspect of playing simply because they are NOT in an ongoing relationship with the one they are playing with.




Very well said, thank you.


(in reply to CreativeDominant)
Profile   Post #: 84
RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/13/2006 3:25:51 PM   
CrappyDom


Posts: 1883
Joined: 4/11/2006
From: Sacramento
Status: offline 		Anyone who doesn't have 3.25 slaves, one of which you have cut the labias off of for easier access, and who leaves the house in anything but full leather with at least 1.25 submissives on a leash linked to piercings at the back of the neck, and who doesn't do a one hour scene with each one every day involving blood play and scat, who's only source of lube for anal sex is the blood from another slave and who hasn't asked at least 4 slaves to commit suicide to prove they are really slaves is just a wanker vanilla wanabee.

God I hate those fucking losers who aren't as extreme as I am!


(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 85
RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/13/2006 3:52:31 PM   
WhiteRadiance


Posts: 247
Joined: 9/8/2005
Status: offline 		CD-
I think a lot of people get offended too damn easily.  Who  really cares what anyone else thinks? Must we tippy toe around everyone feelings?  Are we not all adults?  Raise your hand if what anyone says hurts your feelings!  I'll go stomp the shit outta them!  >:D
 
I ALSO said- everything is a matter of perspective- without the description you felt it was necessary to get into.  Sure.. if you feel you are submitting,of if you feel like you are a Master/Mistress.. that is all that matters. 
 
However, for me personally- I find it hard to take a "slave" seriously when he/she has no Master/Mistress. And how can one be a "Master" or a "King" without the Kingdom and the servants?

As I would not be a Mistress without my slave... that is how I see it.  Just my perception!  :) 

_____________________________

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The drop of rain makes a hole in a stone not by violence, but by often falling.



(in reply to CrappyDom)
Profile   Post #: 86
RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/13/2006 3:58:01 PM   
fastlane


Posts: 2159
Joined: 5/26/2005
Status: offline 		I've heard no one here call you a slut, so why the confession?
Stick to your beliefs, morals and convictions, as that is what will define you and make you stronger.
However, now that I know that, I shall look elsewhere.
I know I'll find a slut somewhere tonight...come out, come out, wherever you are...tantalizes, Fastlane

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Just because it hurts, doesn't necessarily make it a bad thing.

(in reply to WhiteRadiance)
Profile   Post #: 87
RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/13/2006 4:11:27 PM   
Sinergy


Posts: 9383
Joined: 4/26/2004
Status: offline 		Hello A/all

I was at the Lair De Sade in LA a few months ago, and I wandered down into the dungeon (my favorite place there; something about chaining her to the floor joists and...) and watched a Dom tie up his sub wife and beat her silly.  I settled in for while, because I found myself simply entranced (and awestruck) by the sight of the energy and connection between them.

They did their thing, and after about 45 minutes, he smiled and walked over, introduced himself, and offered me the flogger.

I declined.  He seemed a bit surprised, so what I said was the following, as well as I can remember.

"I do not play casually, and I feel that involving myself in your scene might spoil the wonderful scene and beautiful connection between the two of you.  I do, however, appreciate the honor you have shown me with your offer.  Thank you very much."

So he smiled and went back over and continued his evening's activities.

The reason I do not engage in casual play is because for me, the actual bdsm activities are secondary to exploring the mental connection between myself and the submissive.  There is an energy, and a mindset, which is where I find my DomSpace.

Just me, could be wrong, etc...

Sinergy

_____________________________

"There is a fine line between clever and stupid"
David St. Hubbins "This Is Spinal Tap"

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(in reply to SirTIM)
Profile   Post #: 88
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