Collarspace Discussion Forums


Home  Login  Search 

RE: Casual Play and D/s


View related threads: (in this forum | in all forums)

Logged in as: Guest
 
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Casual Play and D/s Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
Login
Message << Older Topic   Newer Topic >>
RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 4:10:05 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BrutalAntipathy
People judge one another on a daily basis. It is a part of who and what we are. Those that claim to not be judgmental are judgmental liars. In not denying the fact that I judge others, I am being less " Kinkier than thou " than the ones that judge but claim not to. 
 
 If it is wrong to voice our opinion on something, then each and every one of us needs to stop posting here.


Of course we all judge others, because we have to.  I judge that my SM-oriented friends are not good D/s relationship material for me. 

What I don't do is to piss people off by "scorning" others for having a different BDSM orientation than mine.  Doing that means that you can miss the opportunity of getting to know and appreciate some very worthwhile people because their kink is not your kink. In short, you lose a lot of friends that way.

I think that my life is better and richer because I respect others for their differences rather than scorning them.   That doesn't keep me from having an opinion, or from making personal judgement calls about who I personally want to play with or be in a D/s relationship with.  I don't make an annoying nuisance of myself by telling other people that their kink sucks and mine is better.  I like to think of myself as having better manners than that.   You are welcome to make your own choices.  YMMV. 


(in reply to BrutalAntipathy)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 4:16:19 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline
quote:

 Is racing a lifestyle?     


Are you implying that D/s is the only 'lifestyle' on the planet?

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to BrutalAntipathy)
Profile   Post #: 42
RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 4:20:23 PM   
BrutalAntipathy


Posts: 412
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

quote:

 Is racing a lifestyle?     


Are you implying that D/s is the only 'lifestyle' on the planet?


Not at all. I was implying that racing is NOT a lifestyle.

(in reply to catize)
Profile   Post #: 43
RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 4:27:26 PM   
Najakcharmer


Posts: 2121
Joined: 5/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BrutalAntipathy

Not at all. I was implying that racing is NOT a lifestyle.


Hee hee.  Don't say that in front of a racer.  My sub's entire family is from that culture, and I'd have to say that it is a lifestyle. 

(in reply to BrutalAntipathy)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 4:28:46 PM   
juliaoceania


Posts: 21383
Joined: 4/19/2006
From: Somewhere Over the Rainbow
Status: offline 		I see nothing wrong in casual play. I have no judgment about that. I have tolerance for people that are swingers, vanilla and monogamous and  doing missionary every night. I have tolerance for everyone. I am not labeling, I am not defining, I am asking for other people's opinions as to the opening post. I just wanted to make sure I made that statement because I did not realize some would put more into the question than I intended.

As for me personally, I do not have casual sex vanilla or otherwise, and I do not feel comfortable getting topped that way. It would not be submission for me personally, but everyone is different. In some ways I wish I was less inhibited that way, but I am who I am.  I think I do not like being judged because I like pain, or because I love submission, and there are many that judge this, who am I to judge another? If people say they feel they submit in more casual play, who the hell am I to judge this??? I am no one to judge it, to each their own.

_____________________________

Once you label me, you negate me ~ Soren Kierkegaard

Reality has a well known Liberal Bias ~ Stephen Colbert

Great minds discuss ideas; Average minds discuss events; Small minds discuss people. Eleanor Roosevelt

(in reply to truesub4u)
Profile   Post #: 45
RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 4:33:55 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BrutalAntipathy

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

quote:

 Is racing a lifestyle?     


Are you implying that D/s is the only 'lifestyle' on the planet?


Not at all. I was implying that racing is NOT a lifestyle.


The Act of Racing Cars, Horses or whatever in of itself is not a lifestyle no more than flogging a person or commanding a person within a relationship.  They are just activities that one does.  However, their are those that spend a great amount of energy at Racing, flogging and commanding people.  It is a lifestyle for them to be engaged these activities.  So there are those who very much are in the lifestyle of racing.  Some do it for a living.  Some only do it as a hobby or pleasure activity.  But they are in that lifestyle, I know a few of them.

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to BrutalAntipathy)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 4:35:15 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BrutalAntipathy

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

quote:

 Is racing a lifestyle?     


Are you implying that D/s is the only 'lifestyle' on the planet?


Not at all. I was implying that racing is NOT a lifestyle.


Maybe if you defined what "lifestyle" means to you, it would be clearer to the rest of us.  All too often I see the  term "lifestyle" used like "real" or "true" as a club by insecure people to try to make it look like they are better than others.

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to BrutalAntipathy)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 4:50:55 PM   
BitaTruble


Posts: 9779
Joined: 1/12/2006
From: Texas
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: juliaoceania

I have a question for everyone! I was wondering what people felt about casual play and D/s? Do you feel that someone is submitting their power to you if you are just casually playing? And do subs feel they are really submitting if it is a casual play scene? I was just curious if people felt causal play is really D/s.. Or is it just play? I would assume that there will be many different answers to this as there are people who respond, I was just wondering how people felt about this.


I think of 'play' in BDSM as S/m activities, not D/s. D/s (or rather M/s in my case) is how I live my life.  S/m is what I do for some fun, like playing chess or something. It's an activity which I incorporate into my life like a lot of other activities, but it doesn't define who I 'am'.. just part of what I do.  I don't see anything wrong with having some fun, and who am I to begrudge someone a good time? Just because I don't think of D/s the same way as S/m play ... doesn't mean others feel the same way. I would agree to disagree that's all.

Celeste



_____________________________

"Oh, so it's just like
Rock, paper, scissors."

He laughed. "You are the wisest woman I know."


(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 48
RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 4:57:00 PM   
swtnsparkling


Posts: 1738
Joined: 1/1/2004
Status: offline 		I do not play causally. I have experienced  a LOT!  and all of my experiences have been within a  D/s relationship.  I wanted to feel what it was to submit to one. but I didn't go out and play D/s to find out, I waited for the right relationship. No I do not think casual play is D/s. It is topping and bottoming it is just playing. Just my way- what is right for me and my own opinion
Just adding: if i ever did decide to play casualy this is what it would be to me
[quote casual play is not submission but simply a physical release and recreational activity. [/quote]

< Message edited by swtnsparkling -- 5/11/2006 5:00:42 PM >

_____________________________

Never make anyone a priority who treats you as an option 2003

Walk in Peace
A "No" uttered from deepest conviction is better than a "Yes" uttered merely to please



(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 5:06:50 PM   
Vancouver_cinful


Posts: 1911
Joined: 2/3/2004
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Kedikat

I find I do not wish to take a sub as far, if it is just play. It is enjoyable to a point, but leaves Me frustrated. Emotional connection always inspires Me to be more Dominant.
I desire to do nastier things to one I care about more. Doing the same things to one who is just a playmate feels fake, lacks depth. Passion for the act alone is so much less than real connection and passion between the ones doing it.


Turn this around to the sub side and you see where I come from as well. I do submit in casual play, but it has never had the depth of submission that makes me feel satisfied and satiated. I need the connection of a relationship to really set free that compulsion to honour and obey.

Casual play is fun, and at times it's all I have to work with, but I doubt it will ever be the same as when I'm in a relationship.

Cin

_____________________________

Cin

quote:


My Karma Account is huge, but I just can't seem to make a withdrawal!!

http://cinful.wordpress.com

(in reply to Kedikat)
Profile   Post #: 50
RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 5:24:14 PM   
BrutalAntipathy


Posts: 412
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

quote:

ORIGINAL: BrutalAntipathy

quote:

ORIGINAL: catize

quote:

 Is racing a lifestyle?     


Are you implying that D/s is the only 'lifestyle' on the planet?


Not at all. I was implying that racing is NOT a lifestyle.


Maybe if you defined what "lifestyle" means to you, it would be clearer to the rest of us.  All too often I see the  term "lifestyle" used like "real" or "true" as a club by insecure people to try to make it look like they are better than others.


Lifestyle: the typical way of life of an individual, group, or culture .


(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 5:27:09 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BrutalAntipathy

Lifestyle: the typical way of life of an individual, group, or culture .



typical as compared to what... other individuals or typical as compared to ones usual activities

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to BrutalAntipathy)
Profile   Post #: 52
RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 5:28:44 PM   
meatcleaver


Posts: 9030
Joined: 3/13/2006
Status: offline 		I would say a life style is a fashion/trend within a culture. It's a very vague term and could mean almost anything.

(in reply to BrutalAntipathy)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 5:30:14 PM   
SweetSarijane


Posts: 3788
Joined: 10/7/2005
From: KC area Missouri
Status: offline 		I bottom in casual play. I belong to a small local group and I bottom at parties for non sexual s/m play. I'm a masochist and those times are right now my only outlet. I don't submit in that context. It's not D/s or M/s, it's s/m play. I enjoy it very much, but I yearn for the fuller experience, the D/s plus the rest. I see nothing wrong with it and neither does the one I'm involved with.

_____________________________

Sarah2
Deviant Mind
Wild Side Readers KCSass

(in reply to Vancouver_cinful)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 5:34:10 PM   
catize


Posts: 3020
Joined: 3/7/2006
Status: offline 		I may play with a dominant, but I do not play act.  Whether it is for an hour, a  night, a weekend or a long term relationship, my submission is never casual; I take it seriously becasue it is an obligation.  I am challenged by it and I have fun with it. I gain new experiences, I have become a better submissive with each encounter. 
I am forever a submissive in D/s whether I have a few partners who are in my life from time to time or one partner who is the only one in my life  

_____________________________

"Power is real. But it's a lot less real if it's not perceived as power."
Robert Parker, Stranger in Paradise

(in reply to juliaoceania)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 5:34:37 PM   
JohnWarren


Posts: 3807
Joined: 3/18/2005
From: Delray Beach, FL
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BrutalAntipathy

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren


Maybe if you defined what "lifestyle" means to you, it would be clearer to the rest of us.  All too often I see the  term "lifestyle" used like "real" or "true" as a club by insecure people to try to make it look like they are better than others.


Lifestyle: the typical way of life of an individual, group, or culture .




By that definition anything for an individual would be a lifestyle.  One could say, "as part of my lifestyle I see my submissive once a month."

_____________________________

www.lovingdominant.org

(in reply to BrutalAntipathy)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 5:34:52 PM   
BrutalAntipathy


Posts: 412
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: BrutalAntipathy

Lifestyle: the typical way of life of an individual, group, or culture .



typical as compared to what... other individuals or typical as compared to ones usual activities


As the definition states, typical to the individual, group, or culture. Is there some D/s rule that I don't know about that says nobody in the lifestyle is allowed to own or consult a dictionary? Because I see a lot of casual, sporatic definitions floating about, and it does make communication difficult. Perhaps if people would agree to consult a dictionary from time to time rather than mangling words to suit their whims we could all understand one another.

(in reply to KnightofMists)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 5:46:30 PM   
BrutalAntipathy


Posts: 412
Joined: 7/8/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren

quote:

ORIGINAL: BrutalAntipathy

quote:

ORIGINAL: JohnWarren


Maybe if you defined what "lifestyle" means to you, it would be clearer to the rest of us.  All too often I see the  term "lifestyle" used like "real" or "true" as a club by insecure people to try to make it look like they are better than others.


Lifestyle: the typical way of life of an individual, group, or culture .




By that definition anything for an individual would be a lifestyle.  One could say, "as part of my lifestyle I see my submissive once a month."


The above scenario indicates that seeing a submissive once a month is part of that individuals lifestyle. Presumably this hypothetical individual also goes to the bathroom daily. Their actions are a part of their lifestyle, but not the basis of their lifestyle. Or are we all part of the " bathroom lifestyle " ? If so, I suppose this means that we are part of the oxygen lifestyle, and the sustenance lifestyle as well. This however is pointless, as you asked for me to define lifestyle on what appears to be the assumption that I would use it to mean " true "  or " real ". This is not how I use the term.
 
Need we bother with such a pointless exchange as this? I have given my opinion on something, and people for the most part did not like it. This by the way, is a form of judgment, which supports my comment that everyone is judgmental.

(in reply to JohnWarren)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 5:56:24 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BrutalAntipathy

quote:

ORIGINAL: KnightofMists

quote:

ORIGINAL: BrutalAntipathy

Lifestyle: the typical way of life of an individual, group, or culture .



typical as compared to what... other individuals or typical as compared to ones usual activities


As the definition states, typical to the individual, group, or culture. Is there some D/s rule that I don't know about that says nobody in the lifestyle is allowed to own or consult a dictionary? Because I see a lot of casual, sporatic definitions floating about, and it does make communication difficult. Perhaps if people would agree to consult a dictionary from time to time rather than mangling words to suit their whims we could all understand one another.


well your rather defensive but you don't really answer the question.  . 

typical infers a reference and comparision of one thing to another.

so one thing is the individual, group or culture that is compared to the second thing... so what is the second thing. 

It would seem that your saying the "typical" way life is the way that YOU define that any indivdual, group or culture should determine behave or act. So glad you can determine what is a Lifestyle for Everyone.  I guess I am little more humble and don't pretend to know what is typical for others or the standards that dictate a lifestyle.

However, I would agree that  Lifestyle is the typical way an indivdual, group, or society engages in as a norm of there behaviors, the frequencey of which being rather subjective.  Be that activity be BDSM in the dungeon and missionary sex in the bedroom or Kinky sex in the bedroom and sharing authority/decisions outside of the bedroom and anything else.  Like being involved in Racing or Volunteerism.  The military is a lifestyle of many.  So is religious life.  Lets not forget those students that live a lifestyle... party down and poor as hell!  Many of us enjoyed that at one time or another.  Some of us are still there.

As far as mangle the words.. it's one thing to read it from the dictionary.  But it's another to actually apply it's meaning and have any understanding to that meaning.  Sadly you don't seem to beable to apply it very well.



_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to BrutalAntipathy)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Casual Play and D/s - 5/11/2006 6:00:33 PM   
KnightofMists


Posts: 7149
Joined: 7/29/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: BrutalAntipathy

Need we bother with such a pointless exchange as this? I have given my opinion on something, and people for the most part did not like it. This by the way, is a form of judgment, which supports my comment that everyone is judgmental.



I don't argue that everyone is judgemental in some degree or another.  I actually agree with you completely in this regard.

However, being judgemental or having opinions is one thing.  but actually having an informed and considered judgement and opinions is another thing all together.  Yours does seem to be rather appropriate to your nic.  Brutal!

_____________________________

Knight of Mists

An Optimal relationship is achieved when the individuals do what is best for themselves and their relationship.

(in reply to BrutalAntipathy)
Profile   Post #: 60
Page:   <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
All Forums >> [Community Discussions] >> General BDSM Discussion >> RE: Casual Play and D/s Page: <<   < prev  1 2 [3] 4 5   next >   >>
Jump to:





New Messages No New Messages
Hot Topic w/ New Messages Hot Topic w/o New Messages
Locked w/ New Messages Locked w/o New Messages
 Post New Thread
 Reply to Message
 Post New Poll
 Submit Vote
 Delete My Own Post
 Delete My Own Thread
 Rate Posts




Collarchat.com © 2025
Terms of Service Privacy Policy Spam Policy

0.094