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RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/3/2011 9:08:01 AM

VaguelyCurious

Posts: 5264
Joined: 12/2/2009
From: United Kingdom
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

On the other hand, it is a little surprising that someone would use an approach guaranteed to fail when trying to meet a woman.

Only if you have an incomplete understanding of probability.

If you have an approach that is almost (but not entirely) guaranteed to fail, then there is still a small but concrete probability of success. And if that approach costs you very little in the way of time and effort then it's worth doing, so long as you do it lots and lots of times.

That's what drives the entire email spam industry, the entire Nigerian scam industry, the cam girls on here...do it enough times, and somebody will bite.

_____________________________

Sthetic on FetLife.

(in reply to Iamsemisweet)

Post #: 21

RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/3/2011 11:02:52 AM

Zoe61

Posts: 12
Joined: 4/10/2011
Status: offline

Frankly, I am just happy to read that others have found so many rude, abusive and obsessive people on this site. I have met a few men who are gentlemen ; however, most are arrogant and under the superficial belief that demanding certain things and behaviors almost immediately upon hello is Dominant. Dominant, in my newbie view, is not an excuse for abuse and submission is not a segue into treat me anyway you like...I have come to believe that outside of the few real people on all sites; most people want a quickie and bj and move on and ya know what? It doesn't matter if the site is BDSM or eharmony...Now, I am going to have to read (but I won't) all the bs'ers react to this one...oh brother! If your heart is real and your brain still works meet people the old fashioned way..get involved in something you enjoy anyway and perhaps you'll meet a like minded person.

(in reply to Iamsemisweet)

Post #: 22

RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/3/2011 1:23:14 PM

DomImus

Posts: 2004
Joined: 3/17/2009
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

I have been on the site, and I have talked to and met, some really great people. But sometimes, I am just surprised at the way people conduct themselves. For example, yesterday I had the following exchange, with a complete stranger:

Him: Do you have a slutty side you try to keep hidden.
Me: Well Hello to you, too.
Him: Sorry, didn't mean to offend. I am just direct.
Me: Not offended really, but what do you mean by "direct"?
Him: I speak my mind. So, do you have a slutty side you try to keep hidden.
Me: Nope, mostly I just act slutty. I have a prudey side I try to keep hidden. LOL

So here is my point. Why would any sub woman ever respond favorably to such an approach?

You pretty much did within only a few lines.

_____________________________

"Regret for the things we did can be tempered by time; it is regret for the things we did not do that is inconsolable." Sidney J. harris

(in reply to Iamsemisweet)

Post #: 23

RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/3/2011 8:16:02 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

I have been on the site, and I have talked to and met, some really great people. But sometimes, I am just surprised at the way people conduct themselves. For example, yesterday I had the following exchange, with a complete stranger:

Him: Do you have a slutty side you try to keep hidden.
Me: Well Hello to you, too.
Him: Sorry, didn't mean to offend. I am just direct.
Me: Not offended really, but what do you mean by "direct"?
Him: I speak my mind. So, do you have a slutty side you try to keep hidden.
Me: Nope, mostly I just act slutty. I have a prudey side I try to keep hidden. LOL

So here is my point. Why would any sub woman ever respond favorably to such an approach? Or when someone demands to know their measurements, or demands a picture without even saying hello. Common courtesy always greases the wheels, as my mother used to say.

Really you sound like your oh 10 to 14 years old and for the first time youve meet someone rude and running home to tell your "mommy and daddy".. and then your parents give the "lecture" bout stranger danger.

Uh Grow up or at least mature to say the age of 16

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to Iamsemisweet)

Post #: 24

RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/3/2011 8:19:37 PM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Zoe61

Frankly, I am just happy to read that others have found so many rude, abusive and obsessive people on this site. I have met a few men who are gentlemen ; however, most are arrogant and under the superficial belief that demanding certain things and behaviors almost immediately upon hello is Dominant. Dominant, in my newbie view, is not an excuse for abuse and submission is not a segue into treat me anyway you like...I have come to believe that outside of the few real people on all sites; most people want a quickie and bj and move on and ya know what? It doesn't matter if the site is BDSM or eharmony...Now, I am going to have to read (but I won't) all the bs'ers react to this one...oh brother! If your heart is real and your brain still works meet people the old fashioned way..get involved in something you enjoy anyway and perhaps you'll meet a like minded person.

OH just fucking peachy... Well the OP happened to find yet another Weiner oh i meant whinner ..well I may have meant weiner . I am so revolted by the rude ppl round here.. somehow ive managed to be on here for something like 5 plus years.

BadOne

< Message edited by SailingBum -- 6/3/2011 8:21:02 PM >

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to Zoe61)

Post #: 25

RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/3/2011 9:09:01 PM

MasterSlaveLA

Posts: 3991
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

Him: Do you have a slutty side you try to keep hidden.
Me: Well Hello to you, too.
Him: Sorry, didn't mean to offend. I am just direct.
Me: Not offended really, but what do you mean by "direct"?
Him: I speak my mind. So, do you have a slutty side you try to keep hidden.
Me: Nope, mostly I just act slutty. I have a prudey side I try to keep hidden. LOL

Why would any sub woman ever respond favorably to such an approach?

Maybe 'cause she's a slut?!!

< Message edited by MasterSlaveLA -- 6/3/2011 9:11:22 PM >

_____________________________

It's only kinky the first time!!!

(in reply to Iamsemisweet)

Post #: 26

RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/3/2011 9:35:21 PM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

Hi semisweet,
As VC has pointed out, it doesn't always fail.

And here is my answer to that (as it has been for nigh onto four years)...

When we are starving, we will eat dirt.

Best,
sunshine

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to Iamsemisweet)

Post #: 27

RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/3/2011 11:00:58 PM

Iamsemisweet

Posts: 3651
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
Status: offline

Gee, sailing bum, I want to be just like you when I grow up.

_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 28

RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/4/2011 4:40:48 AM

0ldhen

Posts: 2221
Joined: 12/27/2010
From: Henhouse in Trolltopia, Harleyville USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact

quote:

ORIGINAL: BonesFromAsh
Personally, I've come to love the "mark as spam and delete" button.

Same here, but I still reply first. I tell people that I'm blocking them and why.

Same here. I do it because I hope they take something away from the encounter.

Just last night, I did this. I've been casually speaking with a D on the other side. I make myself, who and what I am; where I am headed really plain in both my profile and in conversations. So I figured he got it, no worries. Then he asked for a photo so I sent him one. But then I asked" so, do I get a photo back". Suddenly it went from a casual hi to a “If you asked me Please Sir, " in which he proceeded to add colorful little phrases involving making diminutives of my given name.

Uh, hello dude, Sir is reserved for somebody I respect; I do not know you that well. BTW, most folks do not respond well to your type of commentary. Next time try not to do that sort of thing.

Maybe it works to do this, maybe not, but at least I figure I've been reasonably mature and responsible when I do it this way.

< Message edited by 0ldhen -- 6/4/2011 5:16:05 AM >

_____________________________

Everyone crashes. Some get back on. Some don't.

Za'beeta Regal, Et Vogo O' Lurwadra'd Wyka Go Abosh Inunsey.

(in reply to LadyPact)

Post #: 29

RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/4/2011 8:19:02 AM

SailingBum

Posts: 3225
Joined: 12/10/2007
From: Sailin the stormy sea
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet

Gee, sailing bum, I want to be just like you when I grow up.

Yea I get that alot... there is a fan club of sorts for me on here. you have to talk to persephonee re joining. I know she does have a strict policy against "poor me post". Maybe just maybe if you quit whining long to slob my knob I might put in a good word for you.

But of course she is the final word.

BadOne

_____________________________

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

According to SwithNSpanky
We are all so very lucky to have you with us to impart your great wisdom.

(in reply to Iamsemisweet)

Post #: 30

RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/4/2011 8:32:30 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss
When we are starving, we will eat dirt.

Yes. A woman who is 41 is much more likely to sleep with me on a first date than a woman who is 21. The OP might want to cruise sub female profiles in her own age range before thinking it is just a matter of men with no social skills.

As the joke goes: a young woman is a slut; an old woman is lucky.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to sunshinemiss)

Post #: 31

RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/4/2011 8:40:35 AM

0ldhen

Posts: 2221
Joined: 12/27/2010
From: Henhouse in Trolltopia, Harleyville USA
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss
When we are starving, we will eat dirt.

Yes. A woman who is 41 is much more likely to sleep with me on a first date than a woman who is 21. The OP might want to cruise sub female profiles in her own age range before thinking it is just a matter of men with no social skills.

As the joke goes: a young woman is a slut; an old woman is lucky.

Hmm...um.....ya know...I often am to be found begging Mods and VA's, especially our own spectacular VAA, for a spanken, but in truth I try really hard to avoid being Mod spanked for real.....so....I am going outside and express to my punching bag EXACTLY, what I'd love to have said here....excuse me for a bit, will ya.......

< Message edited by 0ldhen -- 6/4/2011 8:42:38 AM >

_____________________________

Everyone crashes. Some get back on. Some don't.

Za'beeta Regal, Et Vogo O' Lurwadra'd Wyka Go Abosh Inunsey.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 32

RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/4/2011 8:45:26 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

Why do you think the vast majority of posts from women who have taken leave of their senses are made by women over the age of 30, and mostly over the age of 40? "i only know this guy online but I am going to sell everything to move across the country to be his slave" is almost always written by a woman in her 40s. Or 50s for that matter.

People will put up with a lot -- and be blind to even more -- if they think this is their last chance at love.

< Message edited by RedMagic1 -- 6/4/2011 8:46:20 AM >

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to 0ldhen)

Post #: 33

RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/4/2011 8:46:03 AM

smartsub10

Posts: 865
Joined: 4/23/2010
Status: offline

quote:

As the joke goes: a young woman is a slut; an old woman is lucky.

Well, that perspective pretty much solves the puzzle, for me, of why some of the men who contact me are shocked (and often pissed) that I won't jump right into bed with them. I guess they assume a 50-something woman has got to be desperate.

_____________________________

Beauty fades...stupid is forever
~ Judge Judith Scheindlin
____________________________________________

“Be that self which one truly is" ~Soren Kierkegaard

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 34

RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/4/2011 8:49:32 AM

Aynne88

Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinemiss
When we are starving, we will eat dirt.

Yes. A woman who is 41 is much more likely to sleep with me on a first date than a woman who is 21. The OP might want to cruise sub female profiles in her own age range before thinking it is just a matter of men with no social skills.

As the joke goes: a young woman is a slut; an old woman is lucky.

Wow. I am far more selective now than at 21 when I saw the world as my own personal oyster and fuck fest. I also know that I am not old, and if I fucked all the attractive men that hit on me I wouldn't have time to sleep. Kind of a shitty statement Red, a bit surprising coming from you. I also work as a bartender on the side and the 20 something girls I work with are fucking everyone and anyone and keeping scorecards just like guys, it's pretty funny actually to hear them laughing about suckering some "old guy" read:40's paying their bills, their rent, expensive dinners, whatever, and "all they had to do was fuck him." So you see, there's more than one joke. One of them got a new Coach bag last week from a guy and all she had to do was blow him. Hysterical stuff isn't it?

_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 35

RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/4/2011 8:53:44 AM

Iamsemisweet

Posts: 3651
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
Status: offline

I know what you mean oldhen, but I am trying to have a sense of humor about that comment. I guess the rules that apply to other 52 year olds don't apply to me.

_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

(in reply to 0ldhen)

Post #: 36

RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/4/2011 8:54:09 AM

RedMagic1

Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline

Whoa. There is a mistake. I am not saying I believe that. I am saying a lot of women on this site believe it about themselves.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Aynne88)

Post #: 37

RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/4/2011 8:59:23 AM

Iamsemisweet

Posts: 3651
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
Status: offline

Oh, glad to hear that Red. I was wondering if maybe I was misunderstanding your intent. And if there are people on this site who do believe that, f 'em.
Although, it is generally true that older people are more likely to have sex on the first date. AIDs in women over 50 is becoming quite common. And STDs are a real problem in nursing homes. Hmmm, I think I just hijacked my own thread.

_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 38

RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/4/2011 8:59:30 AM

Aynne88

Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline

Then I apologize. It is pretty sad if women at 40 feel old and desperate. Maybe if men in their 40's and 50's (and older) would stop saying it and stop making asses of themselves fucking and chasing 18 to 25 year olds trying to hang on to their youth, they might not feel that way. I don't know, but I wouldn't date a man that would bang a girl that young, it is so blatantly "mid-life crisis" that I would run. So it doesn't bother me at all when guys want girls that young, it weeds out the ones I would have no interest in anyway.

_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)

(in reply to RedMagic1)

Post #: 39

RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/4/2011 9:01:30 AM

sunshinemiss

Posts: 17673
Joined: 11/26/2007
Status: offline

quote:

ORIGINAL: Aynne88
One of them got a new Coach bag last week from a guy and all she had to do was blow him.

What color was the bag?

_____________________________

Yes, I am a wonton hussy... and still sweet as 3.14

(in reply to Aynne88)

Post #: 40

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