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RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/4/2011 9:05:34 AM   
Aynne88


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Joined: 8/29/2008
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lol...it was really  cute, tan and white, with leather handles and brass hardware. She was quite pleased with it. All 19 years old of her. . The guy? The old guy? 42. lol, those girls crack me up. 


_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)



(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 41
RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/4/2011 9:10:42 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		You know how whenever a woman posts some insane "is this ok" thread, someone is surprised she isn't 18? I realized a long time ago that 18 year olds never start such threads. It is always women of a certain age.

I'm not sure it is just a question of mid life crisis BTW. I tend to date much younger, but it is because the job market for my field provides a couple years here, then there. I am here in "Antarctica" for twelve months, then maybe off to Singapore for a couple years. My last serious live-in relationship was with a woman older than me, because her kids were out of the house and she liked the idea of following me. But in general, women my age have roots and custody agreements, so they want something light, or they aren't interested in me at all. Younger women who don't yet have kids, are more flexible in their plans.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Aynne88)
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RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/4/2011 9:14:30 AM   
sexyred1


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Joined: 8/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: smartsub10

quote:


As the joke goes: a young woman is a slut; an old woman is lucky.


Well, that perspective pretty much solves the puzzle, for me, of why some of the men who contact me are shocked (and often pissed) that I won't jump right into bed with them.  I guess they assume a 50-something woman has got to be desperate. 



Not every man believes the crap that is posted here. And when they say they are quoted "jokes" it always mean they believe it or they would not have posted it. Back pedaling is always interesting after someone makes such a negative comment.

I get emails from both younger and older men and not one of them has ever assumed that I am desperate simply because I am not.

In fact, what some assholes do not understand is that some older women are more discerning and don't fall for the rhetoric bullshit that is thrown at them. In addition, some older women are more confident and realized that just because they want a new man, it does not mean they NEED one so badly that they would take anything.

As for the "majority" of female posters who come here who have made bad choices and posted about them? I am not going to do a search but clearly, both men and women of ALL ages make bad decisions and while some of them are out of desperation (including both sexes again), but as far as eating dirt, I don't know anyone like that personally, but then again, my friends and I who are newly single, are not like that, we are just selective.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 6/4/2011 9:18:36 AM >

(in reply to smartsub10)
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RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/4/2011 9:17:17 AM   
Aynne88


Posts: 3873
Joined: 8/29/2008
Status: offline 		Yep. I see these idiots posting too and I am stunned at their ages as well. I am embarrassed for them actually.

The only thing with dating young women that don't have kids yet is that they very easily can, and again, I have had lots of friends get caught in that mess by the 20 something they were screwing ending up pregnant because for one thing most younger women are not as responsible as older women.  I rarely see 30 and 40 year olds "accidentally" getting pregnant yet I see it happening in that 18-25 year old group more.   Is it a question of higher fertility? Maybe..but it may also be a matter of wanting to snag an older, successful established man.  I have never wanted kids so I didn't have any and would not date a man with them and that goes both ways. When I was younger I had men try and sabotage my birth control methods as well, that didn't end well at all.


_____________________________

As long as people will shed the blood of innocent creatures there can be no peace, no liberty, no harmony between people. Slaughter and justice cannot dwell together.
—Isaac Bashevis Singer, writer and Nobel laureate (1902–1991)



(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 44
RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/4/2011 9:21:52 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Yes, I am equally stunned by the men over 40 who post whiny threads about why they cannot meet anyone. But I don't tar all men over 40 with the same brush of "older means desperate".

Just as stupid has no bearing on age, neither does desirability.

(in reply to Aynne88)
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RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/4/2011 9:26:36 AM   
JstAnotherStray


Posts: 1
Joined: 12/16/2004
Status: offline 		I could sure use a new Coach bag.  ;-)

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 46
RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/4/2011 9:28:08 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Sexyred1, off my OKCupid profile, I met two women in real life earlier this year who offered me their virginity. One was 28, the other 34. I turned them both down. It would have been wrong, and it would have led to major drama.

There are an awful lot of women online who are horny, undertouched, and want to Fuck. One of the virgins said she wanted to fall off the wagon with me.

You are shooting at the messenger. I am telling the truth.

< Message edited by RedMagic1 -- 6/4/2011 9:29:05 AM >

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to Aynne88)
Profile   Post #: 47
RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/4/2011 9:28:23 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: VaguelyCurious
"Only if you have an incomplete understanding of probability."

This is going to be my new time saving strategy on CM. I'm just going to go into every interesting thread and find VC's post and say, "yeah that".

I also think the OP is being pretty freakin arrogant thinking that her particular tastes, sensibilities, and viewpoints are shared by all... or even most... women. What about the woman who doesn't even remotely try to "hide her slut side"?


_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to VaguelyCurious)
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RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/4/2011 9:35:37 AM   
smartsub10


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Joined: 4/23/2010
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quote:

In addition, some older women are more confident and realized that just because they want a new man, it does not mean they NEED one so badly that they would take anything.


This.


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Beauty fades...stupid is forever
~ Judge Judith Scheindlin
____________________________________________

“Be that self which one truly is" ~Soren Kierkegaard

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 49
RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/4/2011 9:42:13 AM   
0ldhen


Posts: 2221
Joined: 12/27/2010
From: Henhouse in Trolltopia, Harleyville USA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

There are an awful lot of women online who are horny, undertouched, and want to Fuck. One of the virgins said she wanted to fall off the wagon with me.



Ya know, I do not know where this women live, but I've traveled a good bit. Most towns have bars, and like the joke goes "with one of these, I can all of those I want"

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Everyone crashes. Some get back on. Some don't.

Za'beeta Regal, Et Vogo O' Lurwadra'd Wyka Go Abosh Inunsey.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
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RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/4/2011 9:45:00 AM   
sexyred1


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Joined: 8/9/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

Sexyred1, off my OKCupid profile, I met two women in real life earlier this year who offered me their virginity. One was 28, the other 34. I turned them both down. It would have been wrong, and it would have led to major drama.

There are an awful lot of women online who are horny, undertouched, and want to Fuck. One of the virgins said she wanted to fall off the wagon with me.

You are shooting at the messenger. I am telling the truth.


RedMagic1, I understand that many people post about their life experiences and others post out of what they "hear". I fail to understand what your above post has to to with your earlier post about how older women are desperate.

First off, there are an awful lot of men online who are horny, undertouched and want to Fuck. So? Should we assume that all men who feel this way are older? Or does that only apply to older women in that category?

You just offered us the idea that two women, under 40, and ostensibly still virgins, met you and miraculously offered their unclaimed virginity to you; if that is true then yay you. I assume you turned them down because they would have instantly fell in love with you or some other drama. You often post about how women throw themselves at you and turn them down; I find that really interesting. Are you being discerning? If so, why shouldn't older women be too? I turn down tons of men, see, not desperate and over 40, amazing huh?

Remember, you are telling YOUR truth, not the truth as it exists for others. You do realize don't you, that your experiences are not indicative of the entire world,right?

I am not shooting the messenger simply because you are not a messenger; and did not bring us any legitimate insight into anything, you are posting from your own experiences.

< Message edited by sexyred1 -- 6/4/2011 9:48:44 AM >

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 51
RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/4/2011 9:47:32 AM   
devilsrigger


Posts: 14
Joined: 2/8/2010
Status: offline 		I think, realistically, this is a matter of perspective.  Instead of thinking about yourself, try thinking about it from a different standpoint.  Instead of wasting all kinds of time, investing self and so forth in someone, he got right to the point.  In minutes you were able to determine neither of you were compatible-  think about how much effort, time, and anguish that saved you.

He did you a favor.

The other path can lead to two people falling in love, and then because of love being unable to part when it becomes obvious that she mislead him and lied the entire way about her true sexuality.

What kind of love do you want?  An owner that finds value in you because of your ability to devalue yourself-- and hence he wouldn't give you up for the world, or a man who gives you 'pity love' without you knowing it because he sticks to his commitment.

Most of the B/S that goes on between people, in conversation, on boards or chats, is because people refuse to see things from any point other than their own.  Very limiting.



(in reply to Zoe61)
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RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/4/2011 10:00:19 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
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quote:

ORIGINAL: 0ldhen


quote:

ORIGINAL: RedMagic1

There are an awful lot of women online who are horny, undertouched, and want to Fuck. One of the virgins said she wanted to fall off the wagon with me.



Ya know, I do not know where this women live, but I've traveled a good bit. Most towns have bars, and like the joke goes "with one of these, I can all of those I want"

Heh, yeah. But these women were both Asian, from conservative catholic families. I tend to go for women who would never go to bars. A lot of Asian women, on top of everything else, are not allowed to date until they are married. Not kidding. So they meet guys on the sly off the net.

It isn't hard for a man to get the impression that women dating online are slutty, even if they are not on a sex site.

To answer your question in part, sexyred1, one of them came back to my place and we were making out. I decided the vibe was wrong and said I didn't want to continue. She started crying, saying it was her fault, and nobody ever liked her. I took her home, and tried to say good things about her. She cried much of the way. The other woman would let me do whatever I wanted, but she would not kiss back or do anything else back. (She smiled, and said yes when I asked if things were ok.) I found that boring, and did not call her again after a couple dates.

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to 0ldhen)
Profile   Post #: 53
RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/4/2011 10:02:48 AM   
sexyred1


Posts: 8998
Joined: 8/9/2007
Status: offline 		Red, thanks for the clarifying the virgin sacrifice thing. But still does not relate to the earlier comments, but it is too nice a day out here to continue arguing.

(in reply to RedMagic1)
Profile   Post #: 54
RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/4/2011 10:06:05 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline 		Agreed!

_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to sexyred1)
Profile   Post #: 55
RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/4/2011 10:21:24 AM   
Iamsemisweet


Posts: 3651
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
Status: offline 		I was wondering why younger guys were hitting on me. It's because they think I am desperate, now I get it. Joke's on them.

_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

(in reply to sunshinemiss)
Profile   Post #: 56
RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/4/2011 10:28:48 AM   
leadership527


Posts: 5026
Joined: 6/2/2008
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Iamsemisweet
I was wondering why younger guys were hitting on me. It's because they think I am desperate, now I get it. Joke's on them.

Man... so bitter....

Don't you think it's even remotely possible that some of them find you attractive? I'm 8 years Carol's junior. I didn't marry her because I thought she was an easy lay due to desperation.


_____________________________

~Jeff

I didn't so much "enslave" Carol as I did "enlove" her. - Me
I want a joyous, loving, respectful relationship where the male is in charge and deserves to be. - DavanKael

(in reply to Iamsemisweet)
Profile   Post #: 57
RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/4/2011 10:36:23 AM   
Iamsemisweet


Posts: 3651
Joined: 4/9/2011
From: The Great Northwest, USA
Status: offline 		Like 20 years younger,though? That just didn't seem right. Maybe they were scammers or maybe they have a kink I don't share.
I respect many of the things you say leadership, and I don't want you to think that I am bitter. If anything, I am probably just overly cautious. A lot of men 8 years younger than me think I am attractive. And vice versa.

_____________________________

Alice: But I don't want to go among mad people.
The Cat: Oh, you can't help that. We're all mad here. I'm mad. You're mad.
Alice: How do you know I'm mad?
The Cat: You must be. Or you wouldn't have come here.

(in reply to leadership527)
Profile   Post #: 58
RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/4/2011 10:38:44 AM   
LadyPact


Posts: 32566
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: 0ldhen
Ya know, I do not know where this women live, but I've traveled a good bit. Most towns have bars, and like the joke goes "with one of these, I can all of those I want".

Exactly that!  It should be the quote of the day.  Not just because it's funny, but because there probably won't be truer words spoken on the board for the next twenty-four hours.

RedMagic, I'm not here to shoot the messenger.  I'm just as surprised by the (hold on, I'm trying to find a 'nice' word for idiocy) category of 'what happened' or 'is this ok' type of threads that you mention.  Hey, I'm over forty, Myself.  If you ever catch Me coming to the boards with that kind of jazz, do Me the favor of shooting Me in the head.

Please know that your very unfortunate impression of women in My age bracket is not a good representation of the category.

That's all.


_____________________________

The crowned Diva of Destruction. ~ ExT

Beach Ball Sized Lady Nuts. ~ TWD

Happily dating a new submissive. It's official. I've named him engie.

Please do not send me email here. Unless I know you, I will delete the email unread

(in reply to 0ldhen)
Profile   Post #: 59
RE: Good manners when contacting potentials - 6/4/2011 10:59:33 AM   
RedMagic1


Posts: 6470
Joined: 5/10/2007
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: LadyPact
Please know that your very unfortunate impression of women in My age bracket is not a good representation of the category.

LadyPact, my last two relationships have been with women aged 40 and 44.  I still like them both.  I am flying to another state tomorrow for business, and a 41 year old woman I know online-only from Fet is set to pick me up at the airport.  My best friend in the world is a 40 year old woman.  (She told me she would kill me if I did it with either of the virgins, by the way, which is part of the reason I didn't.)  Honestly, I have "credentials" here.  That doesn't change the fact that a significant number of women in their 40s and 50s feel lonely, and act foolish because of it.


_____________________________

Not with envy, not with a twisted heart, shall you feel superior, or go about boasting. Rather in goodness by action make true your song and your word. Thus you shall be highly regarded, and able to live in peace with all others.
- 15th century Aztec

(in reply to LadyPact)
Profile   Post #: 60
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